by Lisa Jordan
What was in store for a thirty-year-old has-been?
The door to his hospital room opened, and his father walked in, carrying a steaming cup of coffee.
A smile deepened the lines on his face as he pulled a chair closer to Evan’s bed. “You’re awake. How do you feel?”
“Like I’ve been tossed around in a cement mixer.” His voice sounded hoarse and gravelly.
“That good, huh?”
“Dad, how’s Aidan?”
The grin returned. “That brave little boy is doing just fine. He had a thorough checkup. Other than some minor abrasions and bruises, he’s in perfect health.”
“I hope he’s not too traumatized by what happened.”
“Ted said he was doing well, but you can call Natalie to double-check.”
Evan shook his head. “No, we’re done. I’ll be polite when it comes to Aidan, but there’s no future for Natalie and me. We want different things. She doesn’t trust me to keep my word, and I need to be with someone who’ll champion my dreams and be my biggest supporter. She has too many fears for us to work.”
“Do you love her?”
Evan blew out a breath. “I’ve been in love with Natalie Bishop since she was eighteen.”
“Have you told her?”
“Recently. Yeah, I guess. I mean, I think so. We had an argument at Tuck’s wedding reception. I think I said something about loving her then, but my brain feels a little fuzzy right now.”
“Sounds like you two need to have another conversation.”
Evan scoffed. “The funny thing is she wanted a permanent address. She couldn’t be with me when I was competing because she didn’t want that lifestyle. I get why, but now there’s no way I can go back to competing with my shoulder. So if Nat and I do end up together, how will I know she will be there for me, for my dreams whatever they may be now?”
Dad lifted a shoulder. “It’s all a part of trusting each other. If you two want to be together, that’s something you will need to hash out.”
“Yeah, we’ll see.” The reality of his situation crashed over him. “What am I going to do, Dad? For the past five years I’ve been a paddler. I don’t know anything else. And now because of this...” He lifted his left shoulder and sucked in a sharp breath when pain flared through the damaged joint. “My career is over.”
His father stood and rested a hand on the bed railing by Evan’s head. “You’re still very young, and you can do anything you want.”
“Except paddle.”
“Except competitive paddling. But now you’re a blank canvas to be used by God for His purpose.”
“What can God do with a broken and battered washed-up man?”
“That’s the beauty of it—He can do whatever He wants. And He can use you to encourage others.”
His father left Evan’s bedside, walked over to the corner of the room near a small closet and picked up a magazine from the chair. He leafed through the pages and folded the magazine open. “After the tornado ripped through Holland Hill, we nearly lost everything. Losing your mother crippled me more than the back injury. Claudia’s late husband, Dennis, was getting chemo at that time. The man was dying, and he knew it. I was having a fine ol’ pity party. He looked me square in the eye and said, ‘Chuck, God has just given you a blank canvas with the farm. Rebuild it wisely.’ I had no clue what God wanted me to do with it, but I knew He would show me. Several days later, I learned about a program that paired farmers and veterans so they could learn how to build their own small businesses and reestablish that sense of hope and purpose. And I knew God was calling me to do something similar.”
“Why haven’t I heard this story before?”
“You weren’t ready to hear it. You were a cocky water jockey ready to take on the world.”
“Not anymore.”
“Through the years, your mother and I acquired a lot of property on Holland Hill. You boys had a nice inheritance coming. After Lilly’s death, I realized I didn’t want you boys to wait until I was gone to have what was yours. Jake had just been discharged from the Marine Corps. After losing his buddy Leo, I knew he needed a project to focus on, so I told him about the farming veterans program and we came up with Fatigues to Farming. That’s when I decided to divide up your inheritance with the caveat that a portion needed to be used in some way for the program.”
Evan’s eyes burned as he struggled to stay awake. “I get how Jake could use part of his property for cabins. And, thanks to Isabella and her dad, Tuck uses his portion for a community garden. But I don’t know what I can do.”
“Well, you seemed to be doing well with the service dog project, so you could always expand that in some way. Or you may want to consider something like this.” Dad handed him the folded-back magazine.
Evan took it and scanned the headline about a veteran without legs who kayaked competitively. That sounded vaguely familiar. Then he searched for the byline and found his own name. “I wrote this.”
“Yes, your best article, in my opinion.”
Even though his eyes didn’t want to focus well, Evan skimmed the paragraphs. “I met Victor last year, and I was so inspired by his story. He’d lost both legs after his Humvee crossed paths with an IED. But he didn’t let that stop him from wanting to kayak.” Evan looked up at his dad. “He beat me in that race. Did you know that?”
“I didn’t. Even though you can’t compete anymore, you still have a love of the water. You can set up a project like this to encourage and empower the veterans in our Fatigues to Farming program to do more than they thought possible.” Dad sat on the edge of Evan’s bed and pressed a hand to his shoulder. “Your identity isn’t tied up in being a paddler. You are a child of God and a blank canvas to use as He sees fit. What you may consider the death of a dream may spark hope in someone else. Think about it. Talk to God and allow Him to guide you down a new path. I’m going let you get some sleep, but I’ll be back in a bit.”
He started to turn, then stopped and pulled something out of his back pocket. “Oh, by the way, we retrieved your phone. Ted went back to get Aidan’s backpack and found it on the bank. Pretty smart to have it in a waterproof case. I took it to the wireless shop, and they checked it out. Seems to be working just fine.”
“It must’ve slipped out of my pocket one of the times I fell.” Evan took the phone and wrapped his hand around it. “Thanks, Dad.”
His father nodded, then walked out the door, closing it quietly behind him.
Evan closed his eyes and sighed.
He had some praying to do. Some choices to make. And an important conversation to have. First, though, he needed sleep.
Chapter Fifteen
Her nightmare had come true.
At least partially.
Missy Chapman sat on one of the red couches in the Bishop living room with a cup of English breakfast tea in her hands. Her shoulder-length red hair fell in beachy waves around her face. With her flawless makeup and polished nails, she advertised the success of her husband’s news station. Despite the end-of-August heat, she wore a gray pencil skirt with matching blazer over a soft pink tank and coordinated pumps.
Natalie’s parents sat on the couch opposite Missy while Natalie perched on the arm next to her mother, ready to bolt at a moment’s notice.
Missy took another sip of tea, then set the cup on the coffee table and crossed her ankles. “As I mentioned to Ted on the phone, our news station loves human interest stories. With everything that’s happening in the news right now, people need a breath of fresh air. When we did the piece on the service dog program, we knew it would touch people’s hearts, but we never expected it to go viral. Thanks to its spread on social media, it’s been picked up by major networks across the country. As a result, we would love to schedule a follow-up to show how the veterans in the Fatigues to Farming program are responding to having service dogs to help
them through their daily lives.”
Dad leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “You need to be talking with Chuck Holland and his boys. They’re the ones spearheading the Fatigues to Farming program.”
“Yes, I know, and I plan to, but when we set up the first segment about the service dog project, I understood there were privacy concerns.” She looked at Natalie. “I know you didn’t want to be a part of the news segment, and then you relented. We did our very best to keep your face off camera, but, Natalie, you were a natural. You really came to life talking about working with the animals. That’s why I wanted to come to you first before I approached the Hollands.”
They all turned to look at her.
Natalie stood and wrapped her arms around her stomach, trying to do her very best to keep from throwing up in front of their guest.
She assumed what she hoped was a perfectly normal-looking smile. “Thank you for your thoughtful consideration, Missy. I appreciate it. Truly. This is something we will need to discuss as a family. Once we make a decision, we can get back to you.”
“Absolutely.” Missy stood, brushed invisible wrinkles off the front of her skirt, then reached into her bag and pulled out a business card. She handed it to Natalie. “Feel free to reach me at this number at any time.”
After walking her to the door and bidding her goodbye, Natalie returned to the living room, flopped on the spot Missy had just vacated and buried her face in her shaking hands.
Mom sat next to her and placed a hand on her back. “Before you start freaking out, let’s remember a couple of things—your face was not shown and it’s been twenty years, Natalie.”
“I know, Mom. I do. And it’s starting to sink into my thick head, but I’ve carried that fear around me like a security blanket.”
“But, honey, a security blanket is a comfort measure. This hasn’t brought you comfort. It’s fed the fear inside you, limiting what you can do with your life. You’ve created a wall of protection around yourself, letting very few people in, but also limiting your true potential. You heard Missy—you are a natural when you’re working with the dogs. Your skills will be a blessing to someone else.”
Dad moved from his spot on the couch and sat on the edge of the coffee table. He took Natalie’s hands in his and rubbed his fingers over her knuckles. “Natalie, when you came into my life, I knew you were someone special. I’ve loved you with my whole heart as if you were my daughter from the day of your birth. But the love I feel for you pales in comparison to how much God loves you. He created you with that beautiful brown hair and those compassionate green eyes. He filled you with gifts and talents that can be used to further His kingdom. Despite what you may think, He has never abandoned you. You say your prayers went unanswered, but I disagree. He answered your prayers by keeping you safe across the country from a man who was no good for you. Your mom gave you a new name, but when you trust God and believe in His promises, He gives you a new identity—daughter.”
Her father reached into his back pocket, pulled out his wallet and removed a business card. “This is the name of a local Christian therapist who specializes in post-traumatic stress disorders, even those manifested from childhood trauma like yours. Since you’re planning to stay in Shelby Lake, you should see someone closer to home.”
Natalie took the card and rubbed her thumb over the embossed lettering. “Thanks, Dad. I’ll think about it.”
Her mother reached for the business card. “Joanna’s mother is a good friend of mine. When I moved back to Shelby Lake, my parents put me in touch with her mother, who is also a therapist, and she helped me learn how to prevent my past from debilitating my future.”
Natalie looked up at her mother, whose face radiated serenity. “Is that what you think I’m doing?”
She gave Natalie a gentle smile. “Yes, honey, I do—you’ve allowed your fears to prevent you from being with the man you love. You’re living your life in a bubble, and that’s not what God wants for you. You need to continue getting professional help in order to learn how to take control of your thoughts. The Holy Spirit gives us that power. But God also equips others to help us through difficult circumstances.”
Hearing the words from her parents threaded with their concern caused the wall inside Natalie to shift.
“I just keep thinking over and over of Aidan and how he kept telling me how brave he was—he was so proud of his actions. He had complete trust in Evan’s confidence in him. I realize I’ve been holding my son back from experiencing things because of my own fears.”
Dad gave her hand a little squeeze. “But now you’re recognizing that. When you guard your mind against those fearful thoughts and allow your faith to be greater than your fear, you will see how God heals you and grows you to live your best life for Him. That’s all we want for you.”
“I don’t even know where to begin, Dad.”
“Punky, that’s the easiest part. Just talk to Him. Have a conversation as if He were sitting next to you on the couch. Prayer isn’t about perfect words and a pious attitude. It’s about meeting Him in the middle of your mess. Trust Him the way Aidan had to trust Evan to save him from the water. Get your brave on and run through the darkness toward home. Then, and only then, will you be able to move past this fear that is keeping you from what you truly want. As you allow God to shelter you in His embrace, He will heal you from the inside out and give you peace from the past.”
Peace from the past.
And hope for the future.
Two things she wanted so badly, but before she could have them, she needed to take the first step toward receiving God’s grace.
* * *
Evan was right back where he’d started.
He had hoped by month’s end he’d be preparing to return to the water, but after the difficult conversation with the surgeon, his paddling career was most definitely over.
Without his career, he wouldn’t be able to make the payments on the house he’d purchased in order to offer a home for his son when they were together.
And Natalie could use that to keep Evan from being with Aidan.
He sat on the tailgate of his truck and stared at the poured foundation curing in the midafternoon sun. The contractor had arrived as scheduled while Evan was recovering from surgery and couldn’t call to change the date.
With a new house coming, more contractor fees for the utility hookups and rising medical bills, the financial burden weighed on Evan’s shoulders.
Even if he wrote articles using the hunt-and-peck method with his right hand, he still wouldn’t make enough to meet his budget. He’d used most of his savings for the down payment. What was left could keep him going for a month or two, and then he needed to find a job. Something, anything, to help make a dent in the bills that would be rolling in.
His eyes sliced to the Water Wagon. He could sell the RV for a couple of grand.
Man, the thought of doing that caused a burning in his gut.
That would mean shacking up at the farmhouse until his house was finished. As much as he loved his family, he also loved his own space.
But a part of trusting God was leaving all of this in His hands and allowing Him to work it out.
Easier said than done, but he needed to try.
Evan slid off the tailgate, careful not to bump his bandaged arm in the sling, and whistled for River and Toby, who were sniffing around the foundation.
Their ears perked, and they raced over to the truck.
Evan lifted a finger and they sat, their eyes on him.
“Good boys.” Evan rubbed their heads, pulled a treat from his pocket, broke it in half with one hand and fed a piece to each of them. “Want to head back to the farm?”
He opened the passenger-side door for them to jump into the back seat. A car crested the hill and pulled in next to his truck.
He rounded the front as Natalie
stepped out of her SUV, wearing the same pink LOVE shirt she’d worn the day he’d returned to Shelby Lake. Her gorgeous hair fell around her shoulders and he wanted nothing more than to run his fingers through it. She moved to the back of her SUV, opened the back hatch and lifted out a piece of fencing.
After closing the hatch, she returned to where he was standing. She rested the fencing against her car, slid her sunglasses onto her head and gave him a timid smile. “Hi.”
“Hey, Nat.”
“How are you feeling?”
He shrugged. “Fine.”
She looked over his shoulder at the foundation, then directed her attention back to him. “Can we talk?”
“Sure. What do you want to talk about?”
“First and most importantly, I wanted to thank you for saving Aidan. That was the scariest night of my life.” Her eyes brightened with unshed tears. She dropped her gaze to her feet, then looked at him again. “When he burst through the door, it was an answer to prayer. Then he was so insistent about finding you. He kept telling me over and over how brave he was.”
Evan smiled. “He’s one courageous little dude.”
“He’s been asking about you. Wants to see you.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve been pretty out of it for a few days.”
She nodded. “I know. I’m so sorry about your shoulder.”
Shaking his head, he scoffed. “Your wish came true. My career is over. I won’t be returning to the water. I’m staying put in Shelby Lake.”
She lowered her gaze again. “I’m sorry. Believe me, Evan, that’s not what I wanted for you.”
“What do you want for me, Nat? Seems to me, you want me on your terms, but I can’t live like that.”
She shook her head. “No, I don’t want that, either. Missy Chapman visited us this morning and said the service dog clip had gone viral and was being picked up by major news networks across the country.”
“Oh, wow, Nat, I’m sorry. That’s the total opposite of what you wanted.”
She nodded. “Yes, I know. After she left, I was on the verge of a panic attack and had a very long talk with my parents. I have a lot of fears, Evan. You may have noticed.”
