by Stacy Lane
“Grandpa’s going to take all the medicine the doctors can give him, and we’re going to pray and spend as much time with him as we can. That’s all we can do.”
Her sorrowful eyes shine like the oceans glassy surface on a calm and sunny day. The blue glistens in the direct daylight.
Frances returns with our plates in each of her hands. As she’s setting them down in front of us the door chimes. Lifting my gaze over the top of Brielle’s side of the booth, Brady walks in. He beelines to the front counter, flicking his eyes in our direction, and doing a double take when recognition hits.
This is fast becoming the worst weekend of my life. Dad, Luke, and now Brady. Well, Brady for a second time.
We hold each other’s stare, and I groan inwardly. He’s going to approach our table. Brielle’s going to ask him to stay. I’m going to put my mom face on and pretend none of the shit that’s gone down since four-thirty this morning is ruining my life.
“Hey, ladies,” he smiles, walking over and stopping beside Frances.
Brielle’s face turns up and her shoulders sink with shyness.
“Good morning, Brady,” I respond.
“My brother here?” he asks, twisting his head around the room.
“No. Just us girls.” Best to be as vague as possible in present company.
He nods, shoving both hands in his front pockets, rocking on the heels of his work boots.
“Wanna eat with us?” Brielle delivers a sweet smile I know to be holding more frailty than she lets on.
“Uh.” He dashes a quick glance my way. At my subtle nod, he responds, “Sure. Sounds great.”
“You can sit here.” She climbs out and over to my side of the booth. Brady takes her spot.
“The usual?” Frances asks, hand on hip. With the daggers she’s shooting his way, it’s obvious what she thinks of him. Where others around town love the gossip, Frances only cares for truths and lies. Give her one reason to doubt your character and she’s likely to hold it against you for the rest of your life. She’s like an elder female version of Mr. Darcy. Explains why I adore her so much, now that I’ve put it that way.
“Yes, thank you.” Brady dips his chin, fingers beating out a drum-like rhythm on the table. “Heading home after this?”
“We’ll check on my dad, then we’re going home.”
He nods. “How is he?”
“Not sure.” My hand brushes from the top of Bri’s head to the ends of her hair. “It was a concussion. They kept him overnight to monitor him.”
“Hope he gets well soon.”
“Thanks.”
“What’s your usual?” Bri asks.
Brady fiddles in his seat some more, but answers, “Steak and eggs.” She scrunches up her face. He laughs. “It’s not for everyone.”
“Steak is a dinner meal.”
“It’s like when you eat breakfast for dinner, though. One of those foods that’s good anytime of day.”
“Breakfast for dinner,” she ponders this, head tilting.
“Try it some time,” he shrugs.
“We can make pancakes for dinner, Mommy?”
“Uh, no. That’s too much sugar before bed,” I reply with a pointed look at Brady.
“Oh. Right. Probably not a good idea.” Guilt rests on his shoulders when he realizes that was a bad suggestion. And for the most part, I’ve joined the idea of breakfast for dinner with being drunk. Everyones stopped at a Waffle House at least once in their life around two in the morning after partying with friends. If you haven’t, then you should try it.
We eat in comfortable silence, and soon Brady’s order is up and he’s scarfing down his meal. With the way he eats, he’ll be finished at the same time as us even though his came out later. The guy never took the opportunity to actually taste his food.
Patrons start pouring in. Frances comes by to refill our coffee cups, smiling at Brielle and asking, “How ‘bout of piece of pie, sunshine?”
“Can I, Mommy?”
“Yes, but only because Ms. Frances makes the best apple pies.”
“C’mon then. Hop on up to the counter.”
Brielle gets out of the booth, following Frances to the front and hopping on a bar stool two seats down from an older couple. When my eyes drift away once she’s settled, they land on two pinched faces on the other side opposite of us.
Fantastic. Jessica and Stephanie are here.
“I just picked up a new contract out of Houston. I’ll be gone for about three months.”
My initial reaction: What do I care about how long you’ll be gone?
But then I see he’s putting in an effort as the father Brielle should have grown up with. So I take the bite.
“Is there cell service out there?”
“It’s touch and go. Maybe we can Skype. Easier that way.”
“We can do that.”
“I’m sorry I’ve been such a jerk, Liv. I know you don’t have to be as willing as you are, so thank you.”
“It’s for her. If she told me she wanted nothing to do with you, Brady, you wouldn’t be getting a chance at all.”
“Understandable.”
“Why’d you leave her? How could you not have cared to see her at least once?” It’s the question I’ve always wanted to ask, but would talk myself out of because I didn’t want him to see his absence bothered us in even the smallest amount.
“‘Cause I’m selfish.” Brady gazes at Brielle with regret. “I wasn’t ready to be a dad, for the responsibility. And I know that’s not an excuse, I’m just telling you what was going through my head back then. When my mom died I had to take care of Luke, I didn’t get a say. I was shitty at that, too. We’re all lucky he came out as great of a guy he is today. But I resented him. He got to be young and dumb and party at eighteen, while I had to work to pay for food and electricity because Mom’s life insurance only covered the mortgage. When I got with you I was using that time to make up for lost time. You got pregnant and I freaked out. You left Calusa and I saw an opening.”
To be honest I didn’t expect the truth out of him. But I believed he was giving me just that.
“So why should I believe you’ll stick around this time?”
“Don’t really have an answer for that one. I just hope you still have enough faith to give me a shot.”
I have no faith in him. Before today I would have conjured up some belief for Luke’s sake. Luke won’t be in my life like that anymore so…
“Don’t ever break her heart, Brady,” I give warning to the only real reason I have left to trust him with.
He nods.
As discreet as I can be, I lift the warm mug to my lips and sip while glancing at our future generation of town gossipers. When I arrived back in Calusa three months ago I walked through town, avoiding shops and stares. I was afraid to be recognized, to become their latest target. I had enough of that growing up as the daughter of the town drunk. Now I sat here having breakfast with a coveted Bennett brother who is the father of my child and a story every person in town knows to be a juicy one at that. Just wait till they hear Luke and I are over with.
My chest pinched and ached, but for all the right reasons as weird as that may sound. Because I desperately love Luke Bennett and am heartbroken how we ended things and none of my hurt is even remotely involved with how the town will react. Let them gossip. I no longer care. My backbone is plated in titanium.
“So what’s the real reason you and Brielle are here alone?” Brady interrupts my one way stare-down with Stephanie and Jessica.
“I’m a single mom. I do everything alone.” My mug thumps on the table as I set it down.
“Not when my brother is in love with you.”
Scratching at an invisible itch, I reply. “Yeah well your brother is not as perfect as I thought him to be.”
Why did I just confide that with him?
“He’s the closest you’ll find.”
“I don’t need perfect,” I speak low and with all the sadness I’ve held back for
the last hour. “I need honesty.”
“I think I called it when I said there was too much history between you and him.”
I shoot him with the deadliest of glares I’ve ever delivered.
“Sorry,” he back tracks. “All of y’all have history, but you’re all really good friends too. You just have to remember why and hold on to it.”
“That’s…very insightful, Brady.”
“I know I’m an ass, Liv, but I love my brother. I want him to be happy. You make him happy.”
“I just need some space to think.” My head falls into my hands.
“You needed space last time things got complicated, and look how that turned out.” Fingers spread out to shoot a distasteful glare at him. Brady lifts his hands outward. “I’m finally in your favor again, so I’m gonna stop there.”
“Never said you were back in my favor.”
He grins, the charming twinkle in his expression so much like Luke. “I can feel it. It’s gonna happen.”
This is the guy—smooth talking, panty dropping smile guy—I liked in the beginning of our dating years. Brady gifting me a glimpse at the real him, or old him, has promise our future as Brielle’s estranged, coexisting parents will work.
Despite our differences, I return the smile.
Chapter Twenty Seven
“You back with Luke yet?”
The consistent click-click-clicking of my pen opening and closing halts with the appearance of Gio.
“No.” A bored tone and a bold eye, I respond, “When are you going to stop asking me that?”
“When you and Luke get back together.” He steps inside my office, taking a seat in front of my desk like he does all the other twenty times in a day. Crossing a leg over the other, Gio holds my gaze just as bold as my own.
Except, I lack the humor that sparkles in his warm brown eyes.
“It’s been three days. When’s the last time you spoke with him?”
“Sunday night.” I toss my pen with too much force. It skips across my desk, smacking into the monitor. “When he text me about having breakfast with his brother.”
“Can’t blame him. You stormed out and the next thing he hears, you’re getting cozy with Brady.”
“Okay, one, you sound like the other little gossips in Calusa—”
“I’ll fit right in when we move there.”
“Two, I stormed out of Luke’s house for good reason.” The two fingers I have raised turn in to flailing hands. “And lastly, we are not moving anywhere.”
“Good reason at the time, but not good enough to break up with the guy.”
“He lied!”
“No,” he shakes in denial. “What he did was different than liars lying. And mark my words, you’ll find a job and be living in Calusa before the new school year. Then I’ll have to find a new job down there, because I’m not driving two hours one way every day like I’ll convince Matt to do. He makes fantastic money at his restaurant. He can afford the gas bill.”
“You have all that planned out like its been in the works for awhile.”
“That’s because it has. After I met Luke I knew you wouldn’t be here for much longer.”
“But you told Della you’d give me a crazy raise I couldn’t refuse.”
“I said that just to get under her skin.”
“Damn.” Kind of looked forward to a fat raise. “Not sure if I should feel more disturbed you’re following me to a new town, or happy that you are because I love you and Matt too much to lose contact with you.”
“The feelings mutual, babe. Did you even notice you used moving as present tense?”
“I-I…”
“Mm-hm.”
“You’re my friend. You’re supposed to be on my side. Not Luke’s.”
“I am on your side. And getting back with Luke is what’s best for you. He could move here instead of you moving there, but I’m still going to push for you guys to reconcile.”
Sunday afternoon I received a text from Luke. My heart jumpstarted, reviving itself at the mere thought he was going to try to fix things we both screwed up. The two hour drive home with nothing but my thoughts as company made me wonder if I overreacted. Never would I condone secrets between us again, but we had a lot to learn about each other.
I still needed my space. Space is what I’m used to. Being left alone with my worries and challenges has been my life for a long time. And Luke needed to learn the impact of keeping secrets from someone you loved. If I gave in and caved every time we reached an impasse then we’d be that couple ten years down the road not knowing how to communicate in a relationship at all.
Not that I’m perfect either. I had a lot to learn being a part of a serious relationship too. Like not running when it gets hard.
But Luke only texted me that afternoon for one reason. Stephanie and Jessica got word out to Della about Brady and I having breakfast with our daughter. Sitting alone, smiling, yada yada yada. They told a tale of hearts and rainbows. Della retold every detail to Luke.
The fact that he questioned why I was there with Brady, instead of asking for the truth, cut me deep.
It turned all my pardonable thoughts on the drive home sour. I hopped out of the frying pan filled with my tears, and straight into a fire of anger. He chose to listen to Della again over me.
My dad is back home, and soon I’m going to be talking to him about moving here to Tampa.
Despite what Gio thinks.
“I won’t be in a relationship with someone who lies or believes what others tell him over me.”
“Couldn’t agree more. The Della strings need to be cut.”
“Thank you,” I say with oomph.
“She can’t be all bad, Liv.” He grows soft and serious. Eyes smiling as he gets me to see the other side of anger. It works swiftly.
Shedding the final, tense ropes I’ve wrapped myself in, I fold my arms along the top of my desk and thump my head down with a sigh. “Della’s nosy and has no boundaries, but it’s because she cares so much. I don’t want to paint a bad picture of her.”
“Oh, no, I’ve been around a couple of times when you spoke to her. Trust me, she’s the artist on that project.” My head rolls to the side at his response. “What I mean, she can’t be all that bad if you are friends with her. Because you, Olivia Benson, are a great judge of character. You’re strong, a wonderful mom, and always putting others needs before your own.”
“Gio.” I sit straight, pursing my lips in a wobbly smile. “The truth is I don’t have friends. How can I be a good judge of character when I don’t give anyone the chance to be my friend? Della was my last true friend and I fell in love with her boyfriend. I couldn’t even summon enough energy to try and make friends with the people we work with. Until you.”
“Honey, the people we work with are absolute bores.” His eyes widen with understanding. “You think Matt and I have a long list of friends? We don’t. The people we tried hanging out with love the party life. We want a family. You and Brielle are like our family now.”
“I’ve always thought something was wrong with me. If it’s this hard to find friends then what am I doing wrong. I considered myself a good person. The people I tried hanging with when Brielle was a toddler didn’t want a kid around. I was so alone.”
“Well, you’re not anymore.”
I reach a hand out. He sets his large palm over mine.
“Luke was my best friend,” I say in a quiet, teary-eyed voice.
“Is. Not was. Luke may have lied to you, but he’s not a liar. Liars do it to make themselves look good. They lie for selfish reasons. Luke withheld the truth because he thought it was better for you, not him.”
“I miss him.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
I wanted Luke. I wanted love and friends and family. I want to be in Calusa with him and my dad and even Della.
I want to chase after the life I’ve been searching to find this entire time.
Leaving Calusa six ye
ars ago is what was best for me then. Running home to Luke is how I want to spend the rest of my days. Every day, right to the arms of the only person who has made me feel like I could be the real me without reserve.
Luke was either giving me the space I needed, or letting me go. Either way, it’s time for that to end. I had to be the one to fix things. After all, I was the one who ran away for the second time.
“I’m going to talk to Della.”
“Okay. Not what I thought you were going to say,” Gio trudges.
“I can’t move forward with Luke until I fix things with her.” Fix isn’t the right word, per se. We can’t change who we are, but I believed the same girls who became friends in elementary school were still inside us. I needed her in my life. To others she’s pushy and vain and I’m one of the few in this world that knows how to tolerate it. The important part is that I’m willing to tolerate it. I just had to be reminded, is all.
“You want me in here as back up in case she goes on the defensive?” Gio asks with full support.
“I’m not doing it by phone. I’m gong to Calusa.”
“Right now?”
“Yes.” I stand, chair spinning round and round at the speed I stood.
“Liv, it’s eleven o’clock. Everyone is at work. Including you.”
“Connor’s busy on that new account he thinks will change the entire dynamic of the company. He won’t notice I’m gone. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
“You sound exactly like him.” He gave me a sketchy look.
“That’s because he walks around chanting those same words likes it’s a ritual.”
“I’ll know you’re gone, and I’m technically your boss.”
“Okay.” I pause on shoving my belongings in my bag to stare down at him from above. “What do you want more? Me and Luke back together, or me sulking at you the rest of the week because I’ll have to wait till the weekend and by then he may have made up his mind and not want me back at all—”
“Dammit, woman, that’s low. You know I’m a romantic.”
“No, you’re a horny perv, but your boyfriend is a romantic and will kick your ass when you tell him you made me stay at work.”
“Ugh! Go!”
