by Perry, Marta
“Ya, Katie. That’s what I want,” he said, ignoring her hand and continuing to hit the metal form.
“But why? I don’t understand.”
“Look inside but do not go in. Stay on the porch with me until help comes.”
Katie moved toward the door. He saw her pick up the lantern and hold it high against the darkness inside. Within seconds she lowered her arm and leaned heavily against the doorjamb. Joshua could see the color drain from her face.
He knew what she saw.
Someone had ransacked the house. Broken pieces of furniture were strewn across the floor. Books ripped. Pillows emptied. A two-foot-high word clung to the wall over the fireplace—Leave!
Why was this happening to her? Joshua wondered. Someone had burned her fields, sent her threatening notes, pushed her off a ladder and now this...
Katie, her clothes splattered with her own blood, met Joshua’s gaze. He could see the terror in her eyes. But he also saw the subtle squaring of her shoulders.
There she was! The Katie he knew. The Katie who wouldn’t run, who would find the strength to get through anything God sent her way.
She looked away and bowed her head. He saw the slight movement of her lips and knew this was exactly what she needed.
Katie was praying.
*
The flashing strobe lights of the police cruiser and the red lights of the ambulance danced in circles across the porch.
One of the paramedics cleaned and bandaged Katie’s head wound. “You’re lucky,” he said, squatting down to close his bag. “You could have been seriously hurt. I can’t find anything more than a few bumps and bruises,” he continued, “but with a head wound, we should take you to the hospital for a more thorough checkup.”
“That will not be necessary,” Katie said. “The good Lord protected me. I have no need to go anywhere but inside my own home. Danki.” She gave him a dismissive smile.
The man acknowledged her words with a nod and carried his bag back to his rig.
“How could such a terrible thing be happening here?” Amos Fischer, bishop of their small district, asked. “We are a quiet, peaceful community.”
“Evil happens everywhere, Amos, even in God’s country,” Joseph King replied.
Several other neighbors, gathered in small groups on her porch and at the base of the steps, agreed as they watched the paramedics and the police finish their work.
“How are you feeling, Katie? Did you see who did this to you?” Levi sat down beside her. “I am grateful to Joshua for finding you when he did. I hate to think what could have happened if you had lain there all night with a bleeding head wound.”
Levi looked up at Joshua, who stood behind Katie and had been silent this whole time. “Why were you here at such a late hour, Joshua?”
“I was returning home later than planned from a job I had done for Eli. I could see the barn lights from the road but there were no lights in the house. I found it strange that Katie would be in the barn at such an hour and I came to see if everything was all right. I am glad that I did.”
A murmur of agreement moved through the crowd.
“You must have fallen on your head to receive such an injury,” Levi said. “I checked the barn. The ladder was still standing and there was nothing on the floor for you to hit your head on.”
“She didn’t hit the floor. Someone hit her from behind.”
Everyone turned toward the sheriff as he walked across the yard and joined the group at the edge of the porch.
“I believe this could put a healthy dent in anyone’s head. I found it tossed in the back of one of the horse’s stalls.” The sheriff held up a shovel covered in dried blood.
Esther, Amos Fischer’s wife, gasped. “Come with me, child. You shouldn’t have to see this. Let me get you inside. I’ll make you a hot cup of tea while you get ready for bed.”
Katie rose. She was grateful for the help. Grateful not to have to look at the shovel. Grateful not to think about who hated her so much that they swung a shovel to the back of her head.
Her eyes sought out Joshua. He leaned against the porch wall, arms crossed, listening and not saying much.
But that was the Joshua that Katie remembered. Always standing in the background. Quiet. Yet ever present.
His dark eyes stared intently at her.
“Danki for helping me,” she whispered.
Joshua nodded. Always, Katie, he mouthed back.
*
Katie woke hearing voices coming from downstairs. She went down to investigate. When she reached the bottom of the steps, she could see several women from the district cooking in the kitchen. Others were cleaning the remnants of the mess from the night before.
Esther looked up from sweeping broken glass from the living room floor. “Guder mariye, Katie. Are you sure you should be up?”
Katie smiled. “Ya. A little headache and a couple of bumps and bruises. Nothing to worry about.” She noted that someone had already scrubbed away the word that the intruder had scrawled over the fireplace. What could be salvaged of the furniture was back in place, and the delicious smell of bacon and eggs mingled with those of casseroles the women had prepared for dinner. The enticing scent wafted from the kitchen and her stomach growled.
“I appreciate everyone’s efforts.” Katie smiled at the women. “Danki.”
“This is what we do,” Esther said. She wrapped her arm around Katie’s waist and continued talking as she led her into the kitchen. “We take care of our own.”
Several yas came from the other women.
Katie enjoyed the breakfast. She thanked the women for the two casseroles fresh from the oven. She was grateful for their help but right now she just wanted everyone to leave. Her physical wounds might not be severe but her emotional wounds were taking their toll.
She had barely slept last night. She had no idea why someone wanted her to leave this district, to leave her home, but suddenly Katie found herself giving serious thought to the suggestion. She had some distant cousins on her mother’s side living in an Ohio district. Maybe she could go there.
Probably seeing her fatigue, the women wished Katie well and took their leave.
Esther, the only one to remain behind, invited Katie to sit down at the table, then turned to retrieve two cups from the cupboard.
“Katie!”
At the sound of her name, she turned to see Levi, obviously agitated about something, tramp through the living room and into the kitchen.
“Did you ask these men to come?” he queried, waving his hat toward the window.
“What men? I don’t know what you are talking about, Levi.”
She made her way to the window. One glance outside and she felt a wave of anger. Joseph King and Mr. Adams were having an animated conversation. “No, Levi. I did not ask these men to come. Could you please ask them to leave?”
“Gladly.” Levi shoved his hat back onto his head and stomped out the door.
Katie watched for a moment, sighed heavily and returned to the table. She looked down at the cup Esther set in front of her.
“Chocolate, Esther? This early in the morning?” She smiled at the older woman.
“It is never too early for chocolate, child.” Esther patted the seat beside her. “Come. Sit. Levi will handle whatever the problem is outside.”
Katie didn’t need a second invitation. She sipped her drink and then ran her tongue over the chocolate foam ringing her lips. Both women laughed.
“See,” Esther said. “Chocolate can make all your problems disappear.”
“I wish it was that easy.”
Esther gave her a puzzled glance.
Katie took another sip of her drink before Esther asked, “And which man is going to buy your land?”
She looked up in surprise.
“This is a small community. You know that. Besides, Mr. Adams has been approaching all of us with offers for our land. Joseph surprises me but I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. Your property
touches his. It makes perfect sense that he would rather expand than share a border with an Englischer.”
“What makes you think that I’m going to sell? Do you, too, want me to go?” Katie knew her tone was defensive and held a bristled edge, but she couldn’t help it. She felt alone and unwelcome in her own community, and it hurt.
Esther simply smiled and placed a hand on top of hers. “You know better than that, child. None of us want you to leave. But what choice do you have?” She patted her hand. “It has been a year and a half since Jacob’s death, ya? You have turned down every man who has tried to come courting. You cannot do this work all on your own.”
“I am not doing it alone. Levi helps.”
“You and Levi have done a fine job trying to keep the farm running. But, Katie, Levi has his own farm that he has been tending. Everyone can see it has taken a toll on him. He won’t be able to help you forever, even if you are family.”
Tears burned the back of Katie’s eyes. “And if I choose to stay?”
Esther shrugged then picked up her mug and took a sip. “That is surely your choice.” She gestured with her hand toward the fireplace easily visible from the kitchen. “But someone wants you to leave. It might be wise for you to take the money and go while you still can. Get a fresh start. Start a new life.”
Katie caught Esther’s eyes. “Why is someone doing this to me? Who do you think it is?”
“It must be the Englischer. I’m not particularly fond of Joseph King, but he is one of us and I cannot believe that greed would make him cross that line. But no matter who it is, I do not believe they intend to stop.” Esther’s eyes glistened with unshed tears. “I don’t want to see anything happen to you.”
Katie clasped the older woman’s hands. “Danki, Esther. You are right. I must make a decision soon on what to do with my life.” She sighed heavily. “I’ll talk with Levi and see what he would advise.”
“Gut. It is necessary to talk with family when you have to make such an important decision.” She pointed her index finger toward the ceiling. “But it is best to talk to God. Let Him direct your path.”
Esther took a last sip of her chocolate. A twinkle appeared in her eyes. “Of course, you would not have to sell your land if you married again. Joshua Miller, perhaps?”
Katie gasped. “Joshua? Whatever makes you say such a thing? Joshua is a childhood friend.”
“Ya.” Esther nodded. “But he is not a child anymore. He is a grown man and from what my eyes can see he is dependable, hardworking and handsome. That cannot hurt, ya?”
The memory of Joshua’s voice flooded back.
Katie! Come on, lieb. Don’t do this to me. Wake up.
Esther stood and placed a hand gently on Katie’s shoulder. “It seems you have many things to pray about, child. I will leave you to it.”
Katie followed Esther onto the porch and waved at the buggy as she pulled away.
Levi approached from the barn. “I told both men to leave and not to come back again.”
“Danki for handling that for me, Levi.” Katie sat down. “Could you spare me a moment, please?”
Levi sat down opposite her. “What is it? Do you feel ill? Do you wish for me to take you to a doctor?”
“No.” She waved her hand. “I’m fine. Just a small headache. It will go away.”
“What, then?” Levi asked.
“I need your council.”
Levi waited silently.
“You are Jacob’s brother and you have done a wonderful job helping me after his death....”
“That is my job. The Bible says when a brother dies then the oldest should step up and take his place. I am the only brother Jacob had. It is my duty to provide for his widow.”
Katie felt a twinge of guilt. Levi tended his own farm and then did his best to run hers, as well. Lately he had started hiring people when the workload became more than he could handle. People like Joshua.
Her gaze wandered to the open barn door and Katie couldn’t help but wonder if Joshua had arrived and might be already working inside.
Levi frowned when he saw the direction of Katie’s gaze. “I do not have time to waste.” He stood. “Do you have something you wish to ask me or not?”
Katie blushed when she realized Levi knew where her eyes—and her mind—had wandered.
“I have two considerable monetary offers on the farm, Levi. Enough money that I could leave this place and never have another financial worry.”
Levi looked as if she’d slapped him. “Do not tell me that you are thinking of selling? Why, Katie? Haven’t I been running things to your satisfaction? Haven’t I been working hard enough?”
She jumped to her feet and put her hand on his forearm. “Levi, you have done a wonderful job. I don’t know what I would have done without you. But...” Her words trailed away.
“If you want to leave, then leave. I will not try to stop you. If you need money to leave, then I will give you money.” His eyes hardened. “But this is Lapp land. It does not belong to Joseph King and it certainly does not belong to an Englischer.”
He turned, bolted down the steps and disappeared behind the barn.
“That didn’t go well.”
Katie jumped and turned toward the sound of the voice. “Where did you come from? I thought you’d be working in the barn.”
Joshua hopped over the porch railing on the far side. “My work in the barn is finished. I am beginning my repairs on the house.”
“You’ve got to stop sneaking up on me. You’ve scared me twice now,” she scolded.
Joshua laughed. “You never used to be afraid of me.”
“That’s because you never sneaked up on me. I always knew you were nearby.”
“How so?”
“Don’t you remember?” Katie teased. “I nicknamed you The Shadow because you always seemed to be right behind me.”
“And now?” Joshua stepped closer.
She could feel his breath on her face and smell the minty tang. She stared at his lips and couldn’t help but wonder what those lips would feel like pressed against her own.
“Are you going to kiss me?” she whispered and then wished the words had not escaped her lips.
His expression darkened. “You are Jacob’s widow. I have no right to kiss you...now or ever.”
Katie colored. “I was simply teasing you, Joshua. You are standing so close and you always were so shy....” Her voice trailed off as they stared at each other.
“Make no mistake. I am not that shy teenager anymore, Katie.” The huskiness in his voice held a deeper meaning. The intensity of his stare challenged her.
Joshua wanted to kiss her.
She could see it in his eyes. She could sense it in his tense body language.
And she wanted to kiss him back.
The thought scared her to death.
Both of them stepped away almost simultaneously.
What was happening to her? She couldn’t afford to let another man into her life or her heart. She refused to forfeit control over her wants and needs and become a submissive wife again. She’d lived in silence through a bad marriage, a horribly abusive marriage. She’d kept Jacob’s secret. But at what cost to herself?
No, never again.
She’d never trust another man. She’d never relinquish control. Never.
But her heart thundered in her chest when her eyes locked with Joshua’s. Her stomach clenched and her pulse raced like wild horses.
She could trust Joshua, couldn’t she?
Katie took another step back. Once upon a time she had thought she could trust Jacob.
“I...I have to go.” She backed toward the door. “I...I have to tend to things on the stove.”
Katie turned and practically ran inside.
FIVE
Enjoying the twilight—and the silence—Katie closed her eyes, leaned her head back and tried to ignore the familiar tightening in her chest. Autumn and spring were the worst times. So many allergens triggered h
er asthma during these seasons that she’d lost count of the list of things the doctor had warned her to avoid.
Of course, stress headed the top of the list and she had to admit she was on stress overload these days.
She practiced taking long, deep breaths through her nose and then released the air slowly through pursed lips.
Diaphragmatic breathing, the doctor had called it.
She didn’t care what he called it. She only knew that sometimes it helped to ease an impending attack—that and a puff on the inhaler she carried with her at all times.
This time the breathing wasn’t helping. She still felt as if a giant fist was inside her chest and squeezing the air right out of her.
She withdrew the inhaler and drew a puff into her mouth. She hated depending on medicine. She hated showing any sign of weakness at all. She was finished being weak.
Four nights had passed since the incident in the barn. Three nights of being almost constantly under Levi’s and Joshua’s watch. At first, it had annoyed her. She was perfectly capable of taking care of herself. But both men seemed determined to make sure nothing and no one would hurt her again. Once she got past her pride, she was grateful for the attention and the company.
The men worked out a schedule between them. Tonight, guard duty fell to Joshua. A smile touched her lips. If Levi had any idea how dangerous her feelings were every time she was around Joshua, he would have probably provided her with a guard dog instead.
“It’s good to see you smile again.”
This time she didn’t startle. Although she hadn’t heard him approach, she was becoming accustomed to his presence. During the day, when she could hear him hammering away on the roof, she knew it wouldn’t be long before the hammering would cease and he’d steal a moment to check on her before returning to his work.
It probably should have upset her—that feeling of always being spied on, the inference that she needed a man around and couldn’t cope on her own.
But it didn’t.
It made her feel safe. Protected.
She opened her eyes.
Joshua stood in the shadows but she hadn’t had to hear his voice to know it was him. Just one glance his way would have told her. Even in shadows she knew his height, the breadth of his shoulders, the way his energy filled a room—or a porch—with his presence.
