by Leah Atwood
“I can’t wait to meet her. You should show her pictures of me now, and tell her it’s Uncle Hunter so she’ll know me.”
She chuckled. “I’ll make sure to do that.”
He asked more questions about the time she’d been gone, and she shared stories of Alice’s antics that made him laugh. Too soon, their time ended, and a guard escorted Hunter back to the cell.
Trixie blinked back tears, promising herself to come as often as possible in the next two months. She gathered her belongings from the locker and drove home, replaying their conversations in her mind. They’d had a good visit, and she hadn’t realized how much she’d missed him. There had been serious moments, but also lots of laughter and heartwarming ones. The smile stayed on her face the entire trip home to Jasper Lake.
Until she pulled into her parents’ driveway and saw Elijah’s car.
She’d temporarily forgotten about him, but now the confusion rushed to the surface. Why was he here already? The dash clock read three-thirty, and she knew it was accurate. Ugh, ugh, ugh. She didn’t want her good mood ruined.
Was it possible to avoid him the entire afternoon? What would they talk about outside of church? She could give him an update on Lara although nothing had changed since they’d discussed her last. Aiden tried to get back together with her, but they’d decided they needed to progress slowly. That was at the beginning of April, and Trixie hadn’t spoken to her since.
One thing was certain—she couldn’t stay in the car all afternoon. After all she’d gone through, facing Elijah outside of church shouldn’t be this big of a deal. She’d lived by herself for over a year and had given birth with no one to help her. She’d lived off nothing, and she’d swallowed her pride to come home.
She’d developed an inner strength and independence that contradicted the weakness in her stomach when she thought about Elijah.
If only she could go back to that night and pull away before their lips had touched, then she wouldn’t be in this predicament.
Taking a deep breath, she braced herself for whatever was to come, and got out of her car. She didn’t exhale until she had a hand on the front doorknob. Female voices drifted from the kitchen, and Trixie walked directly there with tunnel vision. If Elijah was in her path, she didn’t want to know and didn’t care how much of a chicken that made her.
Jessa spotted her first. “How’d it go?”
“Really well.”
“I couldn’t believe it when Mom told us you went, but I’m glad.” Jessa stirred a pot on the stove as she spoke.
“Me too.” Phoebe poured the carafe of hot brewed tea over a pitcher of ice. “How is he?”
“Good. Excited to get out.” She handed Phoebe the lid. “He looks so much better than I expected.”
“The first year was rough before he adjusted, and then in the last six months he’s changed leaps and bounds.” Phoebe stuck the tea in the fridge. “He’s going to be all right.”
“I think so too.” She scanned the kitchen. “What can I help with?”
“We’re set. I’m about to pour the cheese sauce over the potatoes and pop them in the oven.” Jessa turned off the stove burner. “That’s the last thing until it’s time to serve.”
“Where’s everyone else?” Specifically Elijah so I can avoid him?
“Outside setting up croquet.” Phoebe finished washing her hands and dried them on a dishtowel.
“Alice?”
“Toddling around with them.” Jessa set a tray in the oven and stood upright with a smile. “I daresay she’s going to be a flirt. She has Landon and now Elijah wrapped around her little fingers.”
“Literally.” Phoebe laughed lightly. “She woke up cranky from her nap, then saw the guys and did a one-eighty. Insisted each hold one of her hands when they went outside.”
“Oh, goodness.” She heaved a dramatic sigh. “That’s the last thing I need on my hands.”
Jessa stepped toward her. “It’s sweet. Even though Landon’s not her dad, he can be a strong male role model in her life.”
“I do appreciate that. She’ll need one, especially as she gets older.”
Phoebe nudged her. “And Elijah?”
“He’s leaving in a few months. Alice is young enough that she probably won’t remember him.” The statement was a double-edged sword inside her.
“How do you feel about that?” Jessa’s gaze leveled with hers, searched for answers Trixie didn’t want to give.
“It is what it is. I’m neutral.”
“Mom said you flipped out when you found out she invited him.” Phoebe crossed her arms, a dare for Trixie to tell the truth.
“I didn’t flip out.” She rolled her eyes and pursed her lips. “But I don’t understand why we have to bring him under the fold of our family.”
Jessa’s mouth curved into a slow smile as she sang a playground taunt. “You really like him.”
“No, I don’t.”
“We’re your sisters, Trix.” Phoebe’s eyes shadowed with hurt. “I thought we’d agreed no more secrets and lies.”
She left the counter and sat on a stool. “Okay. Maybe a little, but nothing can come from it.”
“Why not?” Jessa lowered herself onto the other seat.
“Where do I start?” She extended a hand and ticked off her fingers as she named reasons. “We’re complete opposites. He’s leaving at the end of August so it wouldn’t be fair for either of us to invest ourselves in each other. Most importantly, I went through a huge ordeal that knocked me off my feet. I need time to fully recover from that before I jump into a relationship.”
“I’ll grant you the last reason, but Elijah is one of the good men.” Jessa slid a supportive arm around her shoulder. “As for the other excuses, opposites often attract. It keeps the relationship dynamic and interesting. And it’s not written in stone that he’ll leave. If he had a good enough reason, he might consider staying.”
Phoebe stared at her. “There’s more to this story. What aren’t you telling us?”
“What do you mean?” Her heart beat faster. Phoebe couldn’t possibly know about the kiss, could she?
“You’re skittish about seeing him, and I know you too well. If it was only about your feelings for him, you would simply ignore it.”
She squeezed her eyes closed. Why did her sisters have to be so intuitive? She might as well out herself, but it wasn’t that easy. When she opened her mouth, nothing came out. She cleared her throat and tried again. “He kissed me last week.”
“Whoa.” Jessa’s jaw dropped.
“I knew there was more, but I didn’t see that coming.” Phoebe leaned in close. “What happened after?”
“Nothing.” Her cheeks warmed at the memory. “Pastor Gray walked in, and I ran out, humiliated. With my reputation, I should have stopped it before it happened.”
Jessa shoved a palm in the air. “Stop right there. What do you mean ‘with your reputation’? You made a mistake, but you’re not that person anymore.”
“Maybe not, but it doesn’t mean people won’t judge my actions more harshly.” She laced her fingers and twiddled her thumbs. “And now Elijah’s drawn into it.”
“Did Pastor Gray say anything?” Phoebe pulled a third stool over and sat down close to her.
“Not to me. I don’t know about Elijah.”
Phoebe put a hand over hers to still them. “Pastor Gray has always been a very direct person. If there was a problem, he would have addressed it.”
“What did Elijah say?” Jessa asked.
“Nothing. We haven’t talked about it. Both of us have acted like it never happened.”
“Good grief.” Phoebe shook her head. “You know that’s not healthy. At some point you’ll have to work this out with him.”
She smirked at her sisters. “Says who?”
Phoebe laughed. “That’s the sister I’m used to.”
“In all seriousness, Phoebe is right.” Jessa’s gentle smiled offered comfort and assurance as she put her
arm around Trixie’s shoulder. “The air needs to be cleared for the sake of both of you. Even if nothing comes of it, you can’t let this hang over your heads.”
“I’m not ready yet. When I do talk to him about it, I don’t want to be confused like I am now. Does that make sense?”
“It does. You know we’re here for you if you need a listening ear. Sisters stick together through thick and thin.” Jessa dropped her arm, but not before giving her shoulder a comforting squeeze.
“Thanks.” She looked at Jessa, then Phoebe. “You’re the best sisters a girl could ask for. I’d be lost without you.”
Chapter Eleven
Palm trees lined the streets. A haze lingered over the suburbs of Charleston and humidity hung heavy in the air, not a good sign of the summer to come when May had barely begun. Elijah turned the air in his truck on full blast, struck with amusement. When he’d left Jasper Lake Tuesday morning for a weeklong trip home, he’d had to turn on the heat.
The stark differences between upstate New York and coastal South Carolina stood out strong. After eight months away, he’d forgotten the beauty of his home state, but he’d also discovered the beauty of the Adirondacks. Somewhere along the way, he’d started to think of Jasper Lake as home, and that concerned him.
He only had three more months there before moving to begin seminary. At this rate, he’d leave a part of himself behind, and he didn’t like that idea. He wanted to start his new life whole without any encumbrances. But what kind of pastor would he be if he didn’t know how to care about his flock?
His thoughts drifted to Trixie. As of the time he’d left, they still hadn’t talked about what happened. He’d hoped for a chance at Easter, but she’d succeeded in avoiding any one-on-one contact with him. They didn’t have any reasons to talk at church, so she evaded him there as well.
It frustrated him to leave Jasper Lake, even for a week, without anything settled between them. He could have approached her, but she’d obviously gotten spooked. To his chagrin, he’d have to wait for her to initiate the talk. Who knew when that would be, if ever.
He sighed as he pulled into the church parking lot. If only he’d kept his lips to himself. But you don’t regret the kiss. That was true. Despite the complications it caused, he wouldn’t take it back if he could. Trixie and he shared a connection, and they owed it to themselves to explore it.
All the arguments against a possible relationship shot to the forefront of his mind. She lived in Jasper Lake, and he didn’t plan to stay there past August. She wasn’t the ideal pastor’s wife he’d always imagined marrying.
As soon as the thought entered his mind, his stomach rolled with guilt. There he went, judging her again. So what if she wasn’t a textbook life partner for a minister? She loved God and strived to live a Godly life. Demure wasn’t in her vocabulary and her spunk kept life interesting whenever he was with her. Her past helped her relate to people, and that could be an asset when he counseled his members.
You’re jumping way ahead of yourself. Any idea of marriage is a long way off.
He groaned loudly. Focus on the present and enjoy this visit with your pastor whom you haven’t seen in months.
Hopping out of his truck before his thoughts could take him captive again, he searched the parking lot and scanned the front of the property, letting the familiarity wash over him. He’d attended this church since birth and had run the halls as a kid. He and his siblings had played hide and seek while his parents attended meetings, and later on had hung out in the youth buildings many hours after services. His brother, only a year older, had showed him how to unlock the gym door so they could play basketball when they were supposed to be studying lessons. He laughed loudly, remembering how dumb they’d been. Neither had considered how loud they’d been, and ten minutes later had been marched to the pastor’s office.
Much of his life was tied to this church and held a special spot in his heart.
He opened one of the white double doors and walked inside. The familiar scent of saltwater mixed with clean linen hit his nostrils, instantly injecting him with a sense of calm. He picked up a leftover bulletin from Sunday and browsed the inside pages. Not much had changed. Same programs, same schedule. Women’s Bible study on Tuesday mornings and senior adult luncheon on Thursdays.
A small block on the upcoming events announced graduation Sunday for this coming week, the reason he’d held off on taking a vacation until now. His sister Sara would graduate high school tomorrow night and be recognized in church on Sunday for the achievement.
He folded the bulletin and stuck it in the pocket of his khaki shorts, a small souvenir of the trip down memory lane. Leaving the foyer, he made a left and went down a long hallway containing the church offices. He stopped in front of Pastor McCann’s door and knocked.
No one answered, and he checked his watch. I’m right on time. He didn’t have an appointment per se, but a time to visit with his mentor and fill him in on Jasper Lake and the position there.
The secretary’s door opened, and Mrs. Thames walked out. When her eyes landed on him she smiled and shuffled her robust body toward him. “If it isn’t Elijah Brewer. I do declare I thought you’d never come home.”
He grinned and threw his arms around the older lady who was a staple of the church. “It’s good to see you. How’s the mister?”
She returned the hug, squeezing him tight. “Doing just fine. He retired in February, but you’d never know.”
“Working in that garden all day, I bet.”
She nodded. “Come for a visit if you have time and your mama will spare you.”
“I’ll fit it in.”
“Did you come to see Pastor McCann?” Her gaze flicked to his office.
“Yes. He asked me to stop in and said he had this afternoon free at two.”
“Hmm. He always tells me when he’s leaving the building, and he didn’t mention anything. Chances are, he’s elsewhere in the church. Hold tight and I’ll give his phone a ring.”
Before she made it to her office, Pastor McCann entered the hallway. The larger-than-life figure left an imposing impression everywhere he went. He stood over six feet tall and had a large, broad frame. His voice was deep and commanding, and when he spoke, one dare not ignore him.
Despite his intimidating appearance, Elijah admired the man and knew his heart for God. He had a reputation for being firm but fair and ran the church with strict guidelines for leadership.
They exchanged pleasantries in the hallway, and then Pastor McCann invited him to the pastoral office. “Have a seat.”
Elijah sat in an oversized leather chair with brass studs, the same one he’d often occupied during high school and college when he sought advice from wise counsel. “This place almost feels like a second home.”
“We have had many a great conversation here.” A fond smile spread across Pastor McCann’s mouth. “Tell me, what do you think of your time as a youth pastor?”
“It’s been a learning experience, but I’ve enjoyed the position.”
“What have you learned?”
He let out a long breath. “Humility. Lots of humility.”
Chuckling, the pastor nodded. “A most important lesson. You’re fortunate to have learned that early.”
“I almost lost a church member due to my pride, but by God’s grace the situation revolved and I’ve formed a friendship instead.”
“That speaks volumes.” Pastor McCann leaned back in his executive chair and crossed his hands over his chest. “What challenges have you faced?”
“What haven’t I? It’s been a crazy eight months.” Different situations rose to mind. “Unsupportive parents, unhealthy habits, online addictions, teen pregnancy.”
“It’s a hard world out there for today’s teens. We’re seeing more problems than we ever have, which is why it’s so important to have strong, Godly leaders in our church to lead these children and youth.” Pastor McCann tapped his fingers against each other. “How would you rate your
response to those challenges?”
“To be honest, I struggled at first. Once I started seeing each youth as an individual in need and not just a churchgoer—that’s when I began seeing a difference.” He thought of Simon, who often disrupted class. “Most of the ones we would call bad come from a bad situation. Simon is one of my challenging boys, but I found out his mom abandoned him and his dad is an alcoholic. One day I invited him for ice cream after Wednesday night services and he started to open up. Since that day, he’s improved. He’s not perfect and still acts up, but he’s making progress.”
“Taking a personal interest in them is a great first step to building relationships. There’s an old saying that people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Pastor McCann leaned forward. “After thirty-five years of pastoring, I can attest to that truth.”
Trixie came to mind, but he wouldn’t let himself think about her now. “You’ve always done a great job of showing your congregation how much you care. It’s one of the qualities I admire most about you.”
“Thank you.” Leaning back again, Pastor McCann appeared deep in thought for several seconds. “What about the teen pregnancy? How did you handle that?”
“I’ve met with the parents of both teens, and I’ve also established a mentoring relationship for the teen mom with a lady who has been in a similar situation but has turned her life around.”
“That’s good, but tread carefully. You won’t want to appear to condone premarital relations.”
Elijah’s stomach clenched. He sensed the same attitude from his mentor that he’d had himself a short time ago. How did he share what he’d learned without offending the man he greatly respected? “My goal is to have both the mother and father remain in church so they can be a strong example for this child they’re bringing into the world.”
“A noble and worthy goal.” Pastor McCann rubbed his jaw. “I didn’t ask you here today simply to chat and catch up. After serving this time as a youth pastor, do you feel God has called you to that instead of a senior pastor?”
