by Leah Atwood
On the way out, she passed the waiting room, surprised to see Elijah.
He jumped up and came to her. “How’s the baby?”
“Precious. I decided to leave and give them time alone.” She angled her head. “What are you doing here?”
“After your parents both came home, your dad drove me here and dropped me off. I wanted to be here for the kids.” He stuck his hands in his pockets. “Plus, I thought you might be tired and appreciate a ride home.”
His thoughtfulness overwhelmed her, not hard to do in her emotionally heightened state. She reached out for him, and he opened his arms to her.
Falling into him, leaning against his chest, hearing his heart beat, the words she’d told Lara came alive for herself. She was not alone.
Chapter Thirteen
“Everybody on the bus, now.” Elijah stood by the open door and directed the youth group up the steps and into seats. Once everyone sat down, he walked the aisle and did a headcount, checking off each student on his roster as an extra precaution.
Landon, doubling as a chaperone and the bus driver, turned from the front seat. “Are we ready?”
“I think so.” Elijah found a seat in the middle of the bus, near enough to Trixie to converse with her, but not close enough to draw attention to them.
He had a strong suspicion her sister and brother-in-law suspected a romance between him and Trixie and were watching them with hawk eyes. As if there’s anything to see. He wanted there to be, but fate seemed to go against them at every turn.
After last week, he’d thought the tides had changed. She’d come to him, and they’d shared a moment in the hospital. He’d almost kissed her again, but refused to take advantage of her in an obviously fragile emotional state. Although that day had restored their friendship, they’d come no closer to moving beyond.
Maybe it was for the better.
If he thought for a minute she’d leave her family, he’d consider asking her, but would that be fair? After all she’d experienced, he couldn’t put her in a position to choose between them. Granted, she’d made no indication she even cared for him to that extent. He’d leaped way ahead of himself.
They’d been on the road for thirty minutes when Jessa moved and sat next to him. “Thanks for inviting Landon and me along. We’ve wanted to get involved in a ministry and this gave us the perfect opportunity.”
“It worked out well, especially since Landon can drive the bus.” He winked. “Had I known adding the passenger certification would be so easy, I would have recruited him a long time ago.”
Jessa laughed. “He wouldn’t have minded. Any time you need someone, ask. If it fits into our schedules, we’d be happy to help out.”
“You don’t know what you're volunteering yourself for.”
“I have an idea.” She grinned and waved her hand in a circular motion around the bus. “I was one of these youths a long time ago. I know the craziness that ensues.”
“Chaos. It’s chaos.”
“And you love every minute of it.” She stood up and grinned with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “I’m moving back up front to keep Landon sane—I mean company.”
“Good luck.” He laughed to himself.
The four girls sitting closest to the driver’s seat decided to perform a concert for the rest of the group. Only, no one actively listened to them and they all sang exceptionally loud at the top of their lungs and not a one belted the song on key.
He had a set of earplugs in his bag. Too bad they were in the cargo area under the bus or he’d give them to Landon. Switching his gaze to the rear of the bus, he saw Mike engaging a group of the boys in a conversation about an upcoming all-star baseball game. He continued watching the youth group, making sure no one sat alone, excluded from a conversation.
Enough time had passed that he could move and sit by Trixie without rousing any suspicions. He sat in the empty seat behind her and tapped her shoulder. “Having fun?”
She turned and smiled when she saw him. “Loads.”
“They're a noisy bunch, aren’t they?”
“Yes, but what youth group isn’t?”
“None that I’ve ever known. It’s good to see them happy and carefree.” He leaned forward to hear her better, resting his arms on the seat in front of him.
“I agree. They face more pressures than I ever did at that age. It’s unnatural.”
“We’ll see if they’re still smiling when we tell them about the no phone rule.”
She snickered. “They’ll moan and groan, but will barely miss them once they get busy.”
“Did you get my email with the schedule for the weekend?”
“Yes. I printed it out and stuck it in my purse.”
He pulled his folded copy from his pocket and pointed to the final co-ed event for the night. “After the campfire devotion, gather all the girls and walk them back as a group. Pastor Gray warned me that in the past, this is a time couples try to sneak off.”
“Do we have any couples in the group?” She craned her neck to look around.
“Not officially, but there are a few interested in each other or talking, but not dating. I can’t keep up with their terms for it.”
“I’ll let Jessa know and we’ll keep a close eye on them.” She reached for the schedule. “I’m assuming an outside unwind time is out of the question?”
“That’s up to you. Have you been to this camp before?”
“Lots of times.” Handing him back the paper, she shifted in her seat. “At least once a year from sixth grade through twelfth.”
“Are the cabins close together? It was hard to tell from the online map.”
“The girl’s cabins are spread out, but the boy’s are fairly close. The cafeteria and game room separate the two sides.”
“Anything else you can tell me?”
Her eyes gleamed. “Be prepared to walk and get your exercise for the next week in one day.”
“Why?”
“There’s a hill nicknamed Cardiac Ridge because of how steep it is. It runs between the main camp and the the big pavilion, so there’s no avoiding it. ” A loud squeal distracted her for a moment and made her glance up front, but she turned back to him realizing it was girls being girls. “I ran for the track team in high school, and I even found myself out of breath some days after running up it.”
Thinking about some of the youth, his mouth tightened. Jake had asthma, Melanie was recovering from a broken leg, and Keegan had a weight problem that prevented him from too much physical exertion. He didn’t want the trip ruined for them if they couldn’t make it up the hill. “Are there any considerations for those with physical limitations preventing them from going up?”
“They have a utility cart that shuttles kids up and down.” She smirked. “Will you promise not to think less of me if I admit I used it a few times when I didn’t need to?”
“Nope, because I plan on using that service myself if it’s available.”
She cackled. “Old man.”
He raised his brows. “Careful there. You’re the same age.”
She shot him a sideways stare. “Didn’t you turn twenty-four in April?”
“Maybe.” He dragged the word into three syllables.
“Hmm.” Her eyes sparkled with victory. “Which means until August, we’re not the same age.”
He shrugged. “It’s a small technicality.”
Her chin jutted in the direction of the largest gathering in the bus. “One thing’s for sure, we’re both old in their minds.”
“That, my friend, is the absolute truth.”
Their conversation flowed until they reached the gates of Living Waters Camp. Elijah stood and directed the teens to check their areas, clean up any trash, and gather their belongings when the bus came to a stop. “Once we leave the bus, we won’t return to it until tomorrow evening.”
Renewed energy filled the air. He unlocked the cargo department and handed the kids their bags. How much did they need for an over
night trip? He hated to see how much they would bring for a full week of summer camp in late July.
The day passed quickly. After registration, they took a group hike to one of the smaller mountain peaks. A paved pathway and slow ascent gave a prime opportunity for a relaxing time, enjoying God’s creation in person. Several kids grumbled about not having their phones, but most went with the flow—other than a few comments of wanting to take pictures.
After the hike, they cleaned up and went to the cafeteria. Corndogs and mac and cheese weren’t his ideal meal, but he filled up and threw in a bowl of apple slices for good measure. The kids enjoyed the food, but he had to stop five of the boys from sword fighting with the empty corndog sticks.
When it came time to climb Cardiac Ridge for the group meeting, he regretted eating so much. The heavy food combined with the heat were not conducive to physical exertion. Pride made him hide his shortness of breath. He didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of Trixie, who had made it with no problem. Then again, he’d noticed she’d chosen the healthier option of a salad. Her years of attending during junior and senior high must have prepped her for that smart choice because he knew she loved mac and cheese.
Five hundred students and their leaders from around the state crammed into the enclosed pavilion. A worship team played loud music, pumping the kids full of energy. As they progressed, the music slowed, bringing a reverent air to the room and then a hush.
Hank Yingling, the speaker for the week and a former country music singer, came on stage. He shared his testimony then tied it with a message about truth. “We live in an era when we’re told Truth is relative, but for that to be correct, it would mean there is no Truth. There is a Truth we can always count on, and that is found in Christ. In fact, Christ says, He is the Truth. In order to live full lives with healthy relationships, we have to acknowledge that Truth, see that Truth for what it is, and live in His Truth.”
Elijah listened, conviction storming his soul. He hadn’t been living truthfully when it came to Trixie. He had to tell her how he really felt about her, but more importantly, he had to let her know he’d accepted the position in South Carolina. If she found out from someone other than him it had the possibility of destroying the trust they’d built.
He committed to telling her tonight. Whether before group devotions when the kids had a canteen break, or after everyone had gone to bed. It was time to have a serious talk.
The chance didn’t come during the canteen break. One of the girls needed to talk and Trixie took her to a private area. Elijah didn’t see her again until the devotion time when they circled around a campfire with their church group. Knowing she’d have her hands full immediately after, he sidled up to her before they started. “Can you meet me back here after everyone’s in bed?”
Surprise flickered in her eyes. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes, but there’s something I need to tell you, and I don’t want to wait.” His stomach churned with nerves.
“I guess. I won’t get in trouble for coming here after lights out?” Her tone filled with curiosity and her voice shook, taking away the effect of her joke.
“Not if you’re a leader.”
She put a smile back on her face. “I’m starting to see the advantages of coming as a chaperone.”
“I’ll see you then.” A quick spin of his head revealed he’d lose control of the group if he didn’t get this started. He stood and went closer to the fire. “Everyone gather around.”
Although he had a devotion prepared, he opted to open the floor to anyone who wanted to share a matter on their heart. He’d discovered the most powerful lessons for his students often came from their peers.
Mindy Reyes stood up. “I realized tonight that I haven’t acknowledged God for Who He is. I’ve often treated Him like a genie in a bottle, then got upset when I didn’t get my way. Like not making varsity cheerleading. Tonight opened my eyes to the sovereign God He is, and when life doesn’t work out how I want, it’s not that my prayers aren’t answered, but that God is protecting me or leading me in a different direction.”
Elijah gave her a modest side hug, proud of the young lady she was becoming. “That’s a powerful insight.”
She returned to her seat, and Elijah allowed a turn to each person who wanted to speak, even when they ran out of time. Sharing was more important than sticking to a rigid schedule. The response of the group testified to their desperate need for Truth in a world run amok. He couldn’t be more proud of them and couldn’t wait to see how God continued to work in their lives.
You won’t be here to see.
He tried to ignore the pesky thought, but it pervaded his mind and wouldn’t let go. Why couldn’t he shake the sense he’d be abandoning these kids he’d grown to love in the last year? They were his Timothy, and he was Paul. Not that he’d ever consider himself worthy of a comparison to the great apostle, but he considered these teens his spiritual children to invest in and grow.
Leaving them would be the hardest thing he’d ever done.
No, that would be leaving Trixie. But maybe…
His mind traveled from possibility to possibility. Too unfocused, he let Mike and Landon take care of the unwind time, which was a free time that required a quiet activity. He skipped out early and returned to where they’d gathered for the campfire. Not an ember remained, but he had the light of a full moon.
He bowed his head. “I thought I’d made the right decision to accept the position back home, but I’m not at peace with it now. Is it my nerves or are You telling me something? Give me clear direction, please … and let my choices honor You.”
How we wished God would appear before him and speak to him directly. Life would be much easier that way. He drew aimlessly in the dirt with his foot, only realizing when he finished that he’d drawn a heart. He hurried to rub his foot over the shape and cover it up.
After a while, he heard footsteps that he recognized as Trixie’s, then he saw the light shining from her phone.
When she came into view, he clucked his tongue, but smiled before speaking. “Breaking the rules I see.”
She put a finger to her mouth. “Don’t tell anyone, but I’ve had it on me all day.”
“Did you hear from Phoebe?”
Trixie smiled in the moonlight. “She’s texted me every hour with an update on Alice, including a picture.”
“Everything’s going well then?”
“Yes. Alice is such an easygoing child. I’m blessed.”
He pointed a hand toward the wooden benches, indicating for her to sit.
She followed his guide and crossed her arms. “I miss her dreadfully. I know this is good for her and I’m having fun, but I can’t wait to get home and see her.”
“You’re a great mom.” He lowered himself to the space beside her. “I appreciate your sacrifice to be here.”
“I’m glad I came.” She dropped her arms and crossed her hands in her lap. “After witnessing the impact on the youth, I see what a mistake it would have been to cancel it.”
“I’m proud of them. Each of them has grown, even if they don’t realize it.” His gaze dropped to the ground, and he drew the tip of his shoe through the dirt again. Nervousness continued to build.
Trixie reached out and laid a hand over his. “What’s wrong? You’re acting strange.”
He drew a long breath. “There are a few things I need to tell you.”
Her features tightened. “Like what?”
“I’m leaving in August.” He choked on the words, underestimating their weight.
“That was always the plan … wasn’t it?” Disappointment shadowed her eyes, hinting she may have held out hope he wouldn’t.
“Yes, but I’ve accepted a position at my childhood church. They need a youth pastor and they’ll pay my way through seminary.”
“That’s amazing. Congratulations.” Her cheer came out forced.
“Thanks.” He pulled his hand from under hers so he could wind their finge
rs together. “I didn’t think leaving would be this hard.”
Her throat constricted. “Do you have to? Couldn’t you stay here?”
“I wasn’t asked.” He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. “And this is a great opportunity to work, doing what I love, while attending school.”
“I’m happy for you.”
A cloud that had covered the moon floated away, providing more light. To his dismay, he saw a tear in her eye. He gently wiped it away. “Come with me.”
“What?”
“Come to South Carolina with me.” The offer was out, one he’d debated on, but putting it out there, he had complete peace about it.
“I—I can’t.” She breathed in deep. “I can’t uproot Alice like that, not after working so hard to give her stability.”
He grabbed her other hand, held them against his chest. “I can give you that stability.”
Standing up, she broke their contact and crossed her arms over her chest in a vulnerable stance. “Can you?”
It wasn’t so much a question, but a hope, a dream—one that he could give her. He wouldn’t let her fears come between them, and he stood in front of her, his hands tenderly pressed against her arms. “Money will be tight at first, but we can make it on my pay. I never expected to fall in love, but as I’ve spent time with you, I’ve come to admire your inner strength, dedication, and desire to follow God in all you do. When I thought about leaving you, it made me sick, and I realized that admiration had turned to love.”
“Money isn’t the stability I need.” She blinked and cleared her throat. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but now I have Alice to consider.”
“I understand, and I promise to love Alice as my own daughter and to lead our family only in a manner to honor God. We’ll come to Jasper Lake as often as we can to see your family and have an open door policy for them to come as often as they’d like.”
“Our family? This is so sudden.” Her airy voice tickled his cheek as she leaned in close with a hesitant but promising sigh.
