by Graham, Jan
“I know it hurts, Angel, and please forgive me for what I’m about to do, but all wounds need to be tended to when they are open and bleeding. It’s the only way for them to heal properly.”
With that Daniel lunged himself at Angel and scooped her up into his arms. The scream from Angel was deafening, like the screams heard at car accidents, when people were injured so badly that to move them caused excruciating pain. She beat at Daniel’s face and chest, trying to get away from him as he scooped up her legs and carried her cradled in his arms to the sofa. Once Daniel was seated with Angel on his lap, he held her firmly against his chest. Christian joined them, placing Angel’s kicking legs over his lap and holding them to stop her using them as leverage to get away from the bear hug Daniel now held her in. Angel continued to scream and cry as both men told her she was loved and safe.
Tears trickled down Daniel’s cheeks as he felt Angel’s anguish course through his body. He hated seeing anyone in pain or suffer, which was one reason he had studied medicine. Daniel had learnt over the years to remain stoic during times when patients or their families were expressing their hurt and grief, but when it came to Angel, he couldn’t keep hold of his emotions. Every scream coursed through his body like a bolt of electricity. It was all he could do not to scream himself as he felt her pain and watched her struggle against him.
Daniel hated what had happened to Angel, hated that she had been forced to go back and live with a brutal man. To live in fear that had continued until he had finally died. Hated that she had never been able to truly heal from what had happened to her, but most of all he hated that all he could do for her right now was hold her, watching her wrestle with the pain and fear that engulfed her.
When Angel eventually quieted, her body ached from head to toe. It felt like spending three hours at the gym after not exercising for a year. Daniel still held her tight. He hadn’t let her go or loosened his hold of her in what seemed like an eternity. As Angel opened her eyes, she saw Christian gazing at her, his hands gently stoking her tired legs.
“Hello, Angel, welcome back.” Christian smiled when she gave him a brief smile. “How are you feeling now?”
“Sore,” Angel answered, her voice croaky from her hours of screaming and crying. She felt Daniel’s hold loosen on her, and he moved his hand up to brush the hair away from her face. At some stage her clip had fallen out, and her hair lay in a knotted mess between his arms and her back. He gently lifted her away from him, her white dress wet from tears and perspiration. Daniel’s shirt clung to his chest from the body heat of the two of them pressed together. Angel started to shiver as the evening air flowed through the open windows and hit the damp material against her skin.
“Christian’s going to take you to the bedroom and put something warmer on you, sweetheart.” She felt Daniel’s lips brush against her and gently kiss the side of her face before Christian scooped her off Daniel’s lap and carried her down the hall.
She wanted to tell Christian that she’d be fine to walk but really didn’t know if she could. Speaking was hard enough, so she thought walking may be impossible. Christian sat Angel on the bed before getting one of her pyjama sets out of the drawer. He gently undressed her, and she felt immediately warmer after having the damp clothes removed. Once she was dressed, Christian brushed her hair, scooped her back up into his arms, and carried her back to the lounge area. Angel sighed as they reached the lounge room, wondering how long they would continue to carry her around the house. She glanced at the clock and saw it was ten o’clock. Angel had lost all track of time. She felt like she had faded in and out of reality for most of the night. She could remember bits of the conversation that had taken place over dinner. She remembered telling Daniel not to touch her, remembered being held in his lap, and remembered the pain and fear that engulfed her. Angel also remembered Daniel’s words from the other night when they were talking about her scars and Daniel waiting for her to trust him enough to tell him about them.
“When you do that, Angel, Christian and I will both be here to help them heal.”
And tonight they were both here, and despite the pain she had felt, they were helping her. As she remembered his words she looked at Daniel, walking back into the lounge room in a fresh set of clothes. They really did love her. She had known them for such a short amount of time, but she had felt their love every day since she had been there. And tonight, Angel knew she wasn’t just fond of these men. Angel knew she loved them, too.
Chapter Fourteen
Christian had gotten into his bed about : a.m. Both he and Daniel had taken Angel to bed in Daniel’s room to sleep just after : p.m. She had been exhausted from the evening’s events, and even this morning Christian felt solely responsible for how badly the night had gone.
Even once they were in bed, the trauma for her didn’t end. Angel’s nightmares had started not long after they had all fallen asleep and recurred over and over every time she finally lapsed back to sleep. She had cried out for Daniel in her sleep, had snuggled back into his chest over and over throughout the night. The few times she had nestled into Christian’s arms she had woken violently, fighting and hitting out at him when he tried to calm her, and a few times she had even called him Samuel.
“Samuel, no,” “Samuel let me go,” and “Please don’t hurt me.”
Christian’s heart had ached when he looked into her eyes and saw the fear looking back at him, and then she had said his name, not Samuel but Christian.
“Please don’t hurt me, Christian.”
He had decided to return to his own bed after that, and since then she hadn’t woken, hadn’t screamed, hadn’t been afraid. He left the bed, and she finally slept without fear. Christian had checked on them both a few times during the early morning. His own sleep had been fitful, the evening’s events playing heavily on his mind. As he walked past Daniel’s bedroom, he glanced at them again, and even now, four hours later, they were both sleeping soundly, Angel nestled into Daniel’s side.
Christian was never a man for regret. He believed that once something was done or said, then that was it. The repercussions either faded away and rectified themselves or lasted a lifetime. Both he and Daniel had been raised to speak the truth and stand by their actions. Neither of them were men that shirked responsibility. As he made his morning coffee, Christian hoped his spur of the moment actions last night wouldn’t end in being the first decision he had made that caused him true regret.
Christian had accepted a few days beforehand that he loved Angel with all his heart, and somewhere inside he knew that she loved both him and Daniel as well. This morning he believed that Angel was definitely closer to admitting that to Daniel than she would be to him. He was going to have to work a bit harder to repair the trust that had slowly built between he and Angel over the last week, and the first step would be another heartfelt apology as soon as she awoke.
Christian didn’t hear Daniel walk into the room. All he heard was a tired “Yes, please,” as his brother sat down at the kitchen island. Christian poured two mugs of coffee and placed them on the counter.
“Is she okay this morning?” he asked.
He stared at Daniel. His eyes were bloodshot, and he could see concern and worry still on his face. Christian thought Daniel hadn’t appeared this exhausted since he used to do twenty-four-hour rotations at the hospital during his intern years.
“She’s still sleeping. It looks like the nightmares have stopped. She stirred a few times after you got out of bed, asked me where you were. I said I’d get you to come back to bed at one stage, but she fell asleep again, so I thought I’d let you just sleep wherever you had fallen. She hasn’t woken up for about two hours now, so we just need to let her sleep. What time did you get out of bed anyway?” Daniel asked as he drank his coffee.
“I got out of bed about five. Right after she asked me not to hurt her.” Christian stated wearily.
“She didn’t mean you, Christian. She was having nightmares for God’s sake. She’d
been in emotional turmoil for nearly twelve hours by that stage. I’m positive she didn’t mean you.”
Christian didn’t believe a word Daniel had just said. But he listened as his brother continued explaining the effects of trauma on people and what sleep deprivation could do to a person’s ability to be rational under stress. It didn’t help much. Christian still felt like he’d lost the most valuable thing he’d ever owned.
“I hear what you’re saying, I understand it should make sense, but I still think I’ve damaged my relationship with Angel, and that will take some time to fix.” Christian went back for a second coffee. “At the moment I just feel like shit, and I want to hit something. It’s all my own frustration. I know that, so I’ve decided to work on the car today. What do you think? Feel like belting the shit out of an old car with me?”
“Why not? I could do to rip something apart, and given Barnard is no longer around, that V will be the next best thing. First I need to eat though, and that leftover roast has my name on it.” Daniel went to the fridge and pulled out the plate of leftover meat.
“You know you were right, this does taste exactly like the roast our mothers used to cook when we were young,” Daniel stated. “And if we need anything right now, apart from Angel to be all right, it’s something that reminds us of the love only a mother can give. So eat.” Daniel held out the plate to Christian.
As both men plowed into the leftover roast, they discussed the car. The Chevy Bel Air Sport Coupe they had purchased was their dream car. The highly sought-after V had been a bargain. Fully renovated, the car would have cost them three times as much. Restoring it to its original condition was something the boys had slowly been working on for quite a few months now. They’d had no trouble fixing the dents and removing the rust. Daniel had just finished respraying it in its original colour of Onyx Black not long before they had met Angel.
Today they had decided to put the engine back in, no small feat for the two of them. The thing weighed a ton, but they had the hoist and once the engine was hooked back up they were close to finishing. Christian headed down to the shed as Daniel wrote a note and placed it on the bench so Angel would know where they were when she finally woke up. Christian hoped she slept for a while yet. She had been through hell last night, and by the time she had finally fallen into a deep sleep, she’d looked drained and exhausted.
Angel awoke around lunchtime. She felt like she had been hit by a bus, her eyes were sore and gritty, her head ached, and she felt sick in the stomach. She knew it was just her normal stress reaction. She had lived through it before. Still, it was never easy to cope with. A night of violent dreams always left her feeling ravaged the next day. She looked around the room. Daniel and Christian were gone from the bed. She wondered if they had slept at all. Angel felt guilty about keeping them awake. It was just lucky that neither of them were working for the next couple of days.
Even though she felt ravaged by the night’s events, Angel knew something was different for her. She had awoken filled with a sense of safety, remembering the comfort she had felt knowing that each time she had woken from her nightmares one or both of the brothers had been there to hold her and ease her fears. Angel hoped a shower would make her feel less of a wreck so headed to the bathroom before dressing and going into the living area to find her two favourite men.
To Angel’s surprise, instead of finding the brothers, she found a note.
Good morning Angel,
We are in the shed working on the car. If you want to see us or need us for anything either, ring the mobile or come and visit us down the back.
Love you & need you always.
Dan & Chris
Angel smiled as she read the note. Even after all the shit of last night, they ended the note with “love you and need you.” Angel would have been less generous with her words had she been the one suffering from lack of sleep, but then no sleep made her really quite impatient with others and usually put her in an incredibly bad mood. Angel made a mental note to see if their tired mood was actually as chipper as the note indicated. Maybe they were just trying to be nice to her after her crisis last night, but she doubted it. They had never misled her with their moods or behaviour to date, and she doubted a night of little sleep would change that.
As she walked out the back door, she glanced around and found a pair of old shoes sitting near the steps of the veranda. She slipped her feet into them and headed down the steps into the backyard. Angel had always known the shed was down the back but had never been there. It was a fair distance from the house, in fact so far that Angel could barely hear any noise coming from its direction at all. As she got closer, the flopping sound of the oversized men’s joggers she wore was slowly erased by the sound of music, AC/DC if she wasn’t mistaken.
As she reached the open door of the shed, she looked around in amazement. It looked a bit like the mechanic’s shop where she took her car to get it serviced. All manner of hoists and tools were strewn about the space, wooden work benches were scattered with odd, metal-looking objects that she assumed belong in a car engine. There were dirty cloths with oil and grease stains. This was definitely not somewhere she could see herself spending a lot of time. There were car seats sitting on the floor. The car doors were open as was the bonnet.
The car itself was black. It had fins at the back end with whitish-coloured inserts running toward the boot area. The chrome on the back bumper and around the lights was dull, but she imagined once the car was finished it would sparkle. Angel knew nothing about cars. She had never taken an interest in them even though most of the men she had been with throughout her thirty-four years had a passionate knowledge of all things auto. Angel thought it must be a male thing, part of their training as children which resulted in the ability to bond with other males over discussion about motor vehicles. Even though she knew nothing about them she knew this car was old. It reminded her of something from old TV shows like Happy Days, or movies like American Graffiti. Angel hoped she didn’t have to dress the part in order to go for a drive in it when it was finished. She definitely wasn’t a poodle skirt, bobby socks, and sneakers kind of girl.
She couldn’t see Christian or Daniel as she stood in the doorway and ventured further inside. She heard the clank of metal and then heard Christian swear from under the bonnet. He let out a string of expletives before standing up and turning quickly to throw a wrench at the back wall. Angel was taken aback. She had never seen Christian show anger before. She trembled a little at the display of aggression and wondered if she should turn back to the house, but deep inside she knew Christian would never be aggressive like that with her. She did feel a bit sorry for the car though.
“Is the engine not behaving itself?” Angel watched as Christian spun back around to face her.
She smiled at him as she stood just inside the doorway. From the speed he had turned around and the shocked look on his face, he obviously hadn’t
heard her approach.
Christian gazed at the beautiful woman before him. Her hair was wet, and the moist waves rested easily at the sides of her face, falling down over her shoulders before disappearing behind her. She wore a black singlet and a short, straight, denim skirt. The singlet held her breasts tightly but still allowed them to sway gently as she moved toward him. Her skirt hugged her hips and ended midthigh with a frayed hemline. As she walked over to him, he wondered if it was just her bra she had neglected to put on or whether her undies were also missing in action.
He felt his cock stir as he watched her. If he wasn’t so unsure about how she would react, he would have rushed over to her, stripped her in the middle of the shed and slid inside her before she could say another word. But after last night, he knew he needed to be less forceful than his horny body was instructing him to be.
“Nice shoes.” He laughed, staring down at her feet as she stood before him.
She had just showered and smelt divine, much better than the grease and engine fluid he’d been working with most of the mo
rning. He watched as Angel kicked off the shoes, making a statement about the latest fashion in Paris. She was even sexier with no shoes on. Now if she would just lose the skirt and singlet, he’d be even happier.
Angel moved closer and kissed him on the cheek. Christian didn’t think she appeared nervous, but she certainly didn’t look as relaxed as normal standing this close to him, and he thought he felt her hand tremble as she touched his arm when she was kissing him.
“Where’s Daniel?” she asked as she started to move around the shed, picking up things and inspecting them curiously.
“He’s gone to get some parts for the car and to pick up some lunch, he was going to wake you when he got back.”
Christian tried to tell himself it was just a simple question and he shouldn’t read anything into it, but in the back of his mind he wasn’t sure if things had changed between them.
“How are you feeling today? You had a rough night. I feel awful about making you so scared last night.”
“I’m a bit drained, but I’m okay. I’m sorry you didn’t get much sleep with me waking the two of you up so often. I can be a bit annoying like that sometimes. I have the nightmares some nights even when nothing has happened, so it’s not really last night that made me have them. I’ve always had them.” She leant against one of the work benches, looking at him briefly before her eyes darted away from his gaze. Christian noticed the look of embarrassment on her face and heard the uncertainty in her voice.
“It’s all silly really. I mean, everything happened so long ago, and now Samuel is gone I shouldn’t let any of what happened upset me so much. Anyway, I’m sorry you and Daniel had to put up with me being so upset.”
“Angel, you have nothing to apologise for. I should be the one saying sorry, not you.” He walked over to her and lifted her chin so she was looking directly into his eyes.
