by Graham, Jan
“Why don’t we know any of this?” Daniel asked, “We were in our teens, both old enough to know what was happening in the family. Surely we would remember this stuff.”
“You were both in high school. We didn’t think it was a good time to tell you until all the details were sorted out. We kept you both away from Harold when you were younger because he was such an insidious human being. But the three of you have all met before, and you boys did know Angel’s mum. Although I think the last time you would have seen Angel or her mum was when Angel was about two or three.”
“Oh my god, that’s so bizarre. I bet you thought I was an annoying little thing when you two were kids.” Angel laughed.
“Anyway, back to what I wanted to tell you.” Andrew looked between Christian and Daniel before he redirected his gaze to Angel. “Your mother wanted you to live somewhere that was filled with love. She wanted you to be cared for in the way she would have done if she had been able to stay with you. So she attempted to set up her final will and testament to give custody of you to us. She told your father she had organised for a friend to care for you after she was gone, and he didn’t seem to have any objections when he was told.”
“He didn’t want me. I have known that all my life. I felt it from the time I was little.” Angel felt her eyes get moist as she looked at the distress filling Andrew Shore’s face.
“Your mother saw to everything, and the chest that you see before you was put together by her. I don’t know what it includes. All I know is it’s filled with items that she wanted you to have. It was sealed with that gold lock a few days before your mum passed away. The boys’ mums brought it to our house for safekeeping, intending for you to have it once you were old enough to know its importance. It has remained here, locked, ever since.”
“So the message on the front is from my mother.” Angel spoke softly as she ran her hand tenderly over the engraved words. Tears trickled down her cheeks as she dropped to her knees next to the coffee table. Angel’s hand trembled as she placed her palm against the wooded lid.
“Why didn’t you come and get me after she died?” Angel’s voice soft and gentle as she asked the question.
Daniel watched Angel thoughtfully. When she asked the question, her tone wasn’t accusing. There was no hint of anger, just a nervous curiosity. She could almost be asking for a refill of coffee or how someone’s day had been. There was only the barest hint of sadness filling her eyes as she wiped the tears from her cheeks.
Christian reached out to touch Angel on the arm, and she flinched as if the loving caress had hurt her. Daniel remembered what she had said the night they had spoken about Samuel’s attack. “It hurts. Don’t touch me. It hurts.” He sent Christian an unspoken message, a simple nod indicating for Christian to go ahead and continue his intended embrace of Angel. As Christian slipped to the floor and embraced Angel, pulling her close to his chest, she let out a painful cry before collapsing against him and beginning to sob.
Daniel looked over at his father. Andrew Shore, the man who had always been so stoic and in control of his emotions now sat staring down at Angel. His face contorted with sorrow, tears running over his cheeks as he tried to control the obviously painful emotions flooding through him.
“Why didn’t we bring Angel home, Dad?” Daniel’s question was greeted with a similar silence to the one Angel had asked.
“Dad?” Daniel prompted his father again, hoping he would answer the question.
“We got a phone call from Harold. He told us that Angel’s mum had died and he was leaving Angel at the hospital for us to come and collect. He was taking the boys home and said he would leave Angel in the waiting room. For God’s sake the man had no shame.” Andrew shook his head and rubbed his hands over his face. “I wanted to drive to the hospital, but your mothers insisted on going. They said that Angel knew them better, so it was more appropriate for them to go and collect her.”
“I remember that.” Angel said sadly. She glanced at Daniel before turning back to face Andrew. “I didn’t understand it, but I remember it now. Harold called someone and said, ‘Faith is dead. The boys and I are going home. The little bitch will be sitting in the waiting room ready for you to collect.’ Then he walked away. He didn’t even say good-bye.”
When Angel’s eyes met those of Andrew Shore, Daniel saw a flash of horror fill her face. She was obviously realizing what had become painfully clear to all of them. Daniel watched as Angel moved closer to Andrew and knelt before him, placing her hands on his knees.
“Please don’t tell them it was my fault.” She pleaded. Daniel’s heart clenched. It was like Angel was begging his father to change the past. Daniel felt his chest tighten further. He knew what had stopped Angel from being collected that night. He knew why no one had arrived at the hospital.
“It wasn’t your fault, sweet woman. Please don’t think it was.” The pain in Andrew Shore’s eyes was all consuming. “I have to say it, Angel. They need to know what happened as much as you do.” Daniel watched his father’s gaze alternate between Christian and him. His father didn’t have to tell him anything, and from the look on Christian’s face Daniel knew his brother had realised the truth as well. Everyone in the room was well aware of what was coming.
Daniel shook his head slowly. He remembered his father’s words when he told Christian and him that their mothers had died.
“Tonight we have lost the most loving women in the world, all three, gone in one night.”
Daniel had been too shocked to question his father at the time but he assumed it was a mistake spoken in grief. All three…not two…all three. The boys’ mothers and Andrew Shore’s wives, Caroline and Francis Shore, as well Angel’s mother, Faith Wylde, the three most loving women in the world.
“That was the night they died,” Christian stated. “They had the car accident on the way to the hospital.”
Daniel could have sworn there was a rush of relief that blew through the room like a soft breeze. Christian had stated what his father was finding so hard to say. Daniel didn’t need to hear or see any confirmation from his father, none of them did. He didn’t need a nod or a yes. There would be no other reason that Angel hadn’t been collected from the hospital. Christian had spoken a statement rather than asking a question. They all knew what had happened, it was just Christian who had put a voice to their collective truth. Daniel watched as his brother pulled Angel back into his arms, placing his finger over her mouth as she began to speak.
“There is no apportioning blame in this story,” Christian stated, “and no need for apologies from the innocent victim that night created.”
As silence consumed them with its shared grief, Angel thought back to the night she sat alone in the waiting room. She had no idea how long she waited listening to the whispered voices of the nurses who assumed she had been left behind as a result of her father’s grief over the loss he had experienced. She remembered hearing the footsteps in the empty corridor growing louder until Harold’s chauffer appeared at the entrance to the waiting room. She hadn’t raised her head to look at him as he had taken her by the hand and led her out to the car. She hadn’t spoken as he delivered her to the door of Harold’s home and watched her walk inside. Angel felt a shiver run down her spine as she remembered her brother staring at her as she sat quietly on the stairs leading to the upper level of the house
“Angel’s back, Dad,” Justin had stated, his voice emotionless, his eyes filled with disgust.
“Yes, it appears we can’t even give her away,” Harold had replied as he walked past her, the boys following him upstairs to go to bed. Angel remembered the click of the light being switched off and everything going black and for the very first time fear and pain engulfed her tiny, seven-year-old soul.
Angel tuned back into Andrew’s conversation. Daniel and Christian were listening in silence as their father continued to explain the attempts he had made to secure Angel’s freedom from Harold Wylde. Legal battles that had continued for two years
until there was no other process of appeal left for Andrew to follow. Every court had upheld the right for Harold to keep his “beloved” daughter, or at least that was the face Harold had presented to both the legal establishment and the Children’s Services Department. All the while, Harold had taken every opportunity to ensure Andrew knew he was only keeping Angel out of spite. Eventually Andrew had no option but to cease the legal battle and hope that eventually Harold would decide to allow Angel to come and live with him as the three women had planned.
Angel remained silent as she listened. Her tears had stopped, she didn’t know how to react to what she was hearing, and she just felt sad for all of them. The only thing that kept her grounded and present in the room was Christian’s touch as he rubbed her back tenderly. Eventually Andrew Shore stretched out his hand and pulled her from his son’s arms, hauling her up onto the sofa to sit beside him. He placed the key in her hand and kissed her cheek before drawing her into his side and wrapping his arms around her. Angel curled her legs up onto the couch and relaxed against Andrew’s embrace.
“Thank you for trying to save me.” She spoke quietly as she nestled against him, his chin resting on the top of her head. “I appreciate everything you did for me, so much. Thank you.”
“I should have done more. I have lived my life knowing I didn’t do enough.”
Angel noticed Daniel observing them. He had a look of concern etched into his face and Angel knew his heart ached for his father. Andrew had obviously been through so much more with their mothers’ deaths than Daniel or Christian had ever realised.
“No, you did more than enough.” Angel raised herself up to look into Andrew’s eyes. “Please don’t think there was any more than you could have done. I’m so thankful for what you did. You tried to help me and you did everything you could do to protect me. You were the only person who cared about doing anything, and for that I will be eternally grateful.”
Angel cupped his face with her hands and planted a kiss on his nose. Andrew laughed and hugged Angel so hard she felt like she might snap.
“I’m so happy that you are finally where your mother always intended for you to be, a part of our family. And if my boys ever give you any grief, I expect you to tell me immediately. I’ll ensure Mercedes punishes them thoroughly.” He laughed as both Daniel and Christian protested loudly at the notion of their baby sister being able to administer any sort of punishment to them.
Angel decided not to open the chest her mother had left her straightaway. All three men seemed understanding of the fact that she felt she had experienced enough emotions for one day and agreed that it may be better suited for Angel to open the chest at home when she was better prepared for the feelings that may arise from whatever its contents may hold.
The drive home seemed to take forever. Angel sat silently in the back seat nursing the wooden chest in her lap, the key hanging around her wrist like a bracelet. She periodically ran her hand over the engraved message, tracing the letters of each word lovingly with her fingertips. Daniel and Christian discussed their father and the concern they felt for him after the emotional afternoon they had all shared. Angel listened with slight surprise as Christian pondered why his father had never asked him to try and track Angel’s whereabouts after he had joined the police force.
“There’s nothing I can’t find out about people with the information I have access to,” he had remarked as he drove down the freeway.
Angel felt her stomach lurch at the thought. She had never even contemplated that if he wanted to, Christian could find out about her involvement with Adrian Hastings. Her head began to throb with the realisation that she needed to come clean about her situation before Christian inadvertently stumbled across the truth. Soon, she decided. She would sit down and ask both men what she should do and see if they would help her, but not tonight. Maybe the next time they were all at home together. After they had all had a chance to digest the information they had learned today, once their emotions weren’t so raw and they were all able to think clearly.
Angel still felt responsible in some way for Christian and Daniel losing their mothers that night. Her rational self knew that she wasn’t to blame, and all three men had stated that repeatedly throughout the afternoon. Still, Angel could not stop felling twinges of guilt rush through her when she looked at the two men, and she hoped that over the next few days those feeling would go away.
As they sat at the dining table with the numerous containers of Chinese takeaway they had picked up on the way home, Angel was silent. It amazed her that both Christian and Daniel were able to eat after everything that had happened. Angel pushed a few cashew nuts around her plate. She was startled when Daniel leant over and speared a large piece of chicken from under her gaze, quickly popping it into his mouth.
“Yum.” Daniel smiled as Angel looked up at him with surprise. “What? You don’t appear to be eating it.”
“I actually thought you must have lost something in it the way you’ve been pushing it around your plate,” Christian added. “I thought chicken and cashew was your favourite?”
“I’m feeling a bit sick.” Angel gave a slight shrug.
She was still feeling guilty, and that, combined with an overwhelming desire to ask them what to do about Adrian and his stupid ledger, was making her stomach churn. She had been with Christian and Daniel for just on a week now. Adrian had given her a two-week deadline to find the ledger. She only had six days left until Adrian would be expecting an answer. Steve had told her to give the ledger to him and in turn get protection from Adrian. Angel knew no one could give her protection from Adrian. The man had police on his payroll for God’s sake. Angel’s time was nearly up, and she knew the only thing that was keeping her safe at the moment was being with two men who had no idea what danger she was placing them in if Adrian found her here.
“What do you need to talk to us about?” Daniel’s tone was firm as she turned to look at him, a firm tone to his voice but his eyes filled with compassion. Angel wondered at the dichotomy of that as she stared at him.
“I do need to talk about something, but I don’t want to do it tonight,” Angel stated emphatically.
“You can’t say that, Angel, and expect Daniel and I not to want to know what it is.” Christian glanced over at her as he continued to eat.
“Well, I’m worried about something, but I need time to figure out how to tell you.” She looked back between Daniel and Christian.
“That doesn’t ease our concern, Angel.” Daniel reclined back in his chair. “Why not just start talking about it and see how you go?”
“Or we could all just forget about it and have sex instead.” She smiled.
“Nice try, sweetie, but no thanks.” Daniel laughed.
“What about this?” Christian grinned. “You tell us what’s worrying you, we sort whatever it is out, and then we all have sex.”
Angel knew she shouldn’t have mentioned anything, but she was having the overwhelming urge to spill her guts about everything. She didn’t want to talk about Adrian though, not yet, not tonight. Angel knew she had to figure out something to say if only to appease their curiosity. It had to be something that would be serious enough to be causing her to worry, but nothing like the truth of her problem in relation to Adrian.
“Okay, well, I was wondering if you would want to have a baby if we were to, um you know, stay together like this.” Angel waved her hand around dismissively between the three of them. “Because I don’t think I can. And I wanted to tell you before you thought about me in the permanent position of…” Angel trailed off as she looked between the two men.
Probably not a good choice of topic to pick, but it had been something she had wondered about over the last week. Angel didn’t think she could have children. She had been told when she was in her late teens that she may have trouble if she ever decided to try and conceive. She knew it was a legitimate concern for her. And with these two men who were family oriented, Angel was sure they assumed she wo
uld give them children if she stayed with them in a permanent capacity.
Daniel and Christian looked at her in surprise. She hoped they didn’t think her decision to suddenly talk about what was wrong came too quickly. Maybe she should have bantered with them a bit more before conceding to tell them what was wrong. Both men stared at her in silence for a long time. She was getting to know them by now. They were both thinkers, intelligent men who seemed to be able to read when something wasn’t quite right. She hated not being able to know what was going on in their heads.
“Okay, well, that went down like a lead balloon.” Angel finally broke the awkward silence. “I guess that means that sex is the next thing on the menu.” She smiled at Christian, who was looking at her suspiciously.
“Not yet,” Daniel replied. “I have some questions.”
Angel sighed. Of course Daniel would have questions. Daniel had questions about everything. Sometimes Angel looked at him and could have sworn she heard cogs turning in his head as he sat, quietly contemplating whatever had caught his interest.
“All right, what would you like to know?” Angel expected there would be questions, and the main one she had was why Christian was looking at her with suspicion.
“I also have a confession to make,” Daniel stated matter-of-factly. “I looked up your medical records at the hospital. I knew about the assault and also about the injuries you received when your father pushed you down the stairs.” Angel stared at Daniel in shock.
