by Virna DePaul
“It’s going to be okay,” Melina added.
Getting enveloped by both her best friends after fearing they were ganging up on her was a huge relief. Last thing she needed were two more relationships to worry about. “It’s okay, I’m okay,” Grace managed to say. She took each of her friend’s hands, one in each of hers, and squeezed. “We’ll be okay. I just need time to come to terms with this. Max is being Max. He’s giving me time. He has no intention of giving up on me without a fight.” She smiled, and even as weak as it was, Melina and Lucy managed to smile, too.
“The way it should be,” Melina said.
Grace nodded.
They each took their seats again, and Lucy immediately called for the waiter to bring them drinks. Whiskey. Shots. When he delivered them, Lucy said, “No sipping. Down the hatch.” She reached over and tipped Melina’s glass the rest of the way when she saw that her friend was wimping out.
“Good lord, Luce!” Melina sputtered, wiping her chin, as her eyes watered.
Lucy slapped her hands together. “Everybody feel a little better?”
Grace laughed at her friends, so grateful they were there with her. “Yes, actually. I do feel better. This dulls the edge real nice.”
The table remained silent for a moment after they’d had their drinks, and it was obvious her friends were waiting for her to share when she was ready. She finally sighed. “It just feels dishonest to get married without giving all of us a moment to acclimate first. It feels like I’ve misled Max somehow.”
“Misled?” Lucy blinked at Grace. “I’m sorry. When did Max forget how to speak English? When did his IQ revert back to that of a three-year-old? Has he fallen and hit his head? Has he suddenly acquired dementia?”
“Good thing you’re not dramatic, Luce,” Melina muttered then turned to Grace. “I think what our worked-up friend is attempting to say right now is that Max is a grown man. He understands who you are. He also understands that marriage is a leap of faith. And, of course, that both of you are going to change and grow as time goes on. In ways you can’t possibly anticipate. It’s not a betrayal when that happens. It’s life.”
“I know you’re right.” Grace nodded. It was like Max had said—a curtain would always be present even in the best of circumstances. Nobody ever knew what was going to happen. “But I still can’t help feeling the way I do. The whole reason Max and I got together in the first place is because he overheard my plan to find a man to raise a child with. To have a baby whether I was in a romantic relationship or not. Don’t you guys remember?”
“Yes, but that was just the impetus, the excuse he needed to push forward with you. A baby isn’t the reason you got together. He wants you, Grace. He loves you.”
And she loved him. More than anything in this world. That was why she had to figure this out somehow. “I just need time to get used to our new reality. I know I’ll be disappointed not going to Europe with Max, but it’ll be good for us to get a little space. A little perspective.”
Of course, she really thought Max was the one who ought to have the space. Part of her couldn’t shake the belief that once he was in Europe and had time to think things through, he’d realize what a huge mistake marrying her would be. She wanted him to come to that realization before they got married. Not after. It would hurt like nothing before, but it would be the right thing to do. She couldn’t bear the resentment if they were to get married and he’d felt regretful then.
“Well, how much space could you possibly get from one another, honey? You two live in the same house,” Melina said, sucking down some water and crossing her arms.
“No, I mean that we’ll have space when he’s in Europe and I’m here.”
Something uneasy flashed across Melina’s expression.
“What is it?” Grace asked.
“Nothing. It’s really nothing.”
“Melina,” she whispered.
Her friend frowned, then sighed before reaching out to take Grace’s hand. “You’re not gonna get all that space you think you need, honey.”
“What?”
Melina took a deep breath. “I swore an oath of secrecy to my husband, who was sworn to an oath of secrecy by his twin brother. But I guess the cat’s out of the bag.” She bit her lip, and looked regretful for about half a millisecond before she just let it fly. “Max cancelled the tour to stay home with you.”
All of the air left Grace’s lungs and her chest got so tight, she felt dizzy. He did what? “What. Did. You. Just. Say?” Grace asked, the edges of her vision blurring.
“I said that—”
“I heard you.” Grace shook her head vehemently. “No. No way.” Abruptly, Grace stood up, snatching her purse off the back of her chair. “Excuse me, ladies. But I have to go make a phone call. And when I get back, there better be two more fingers of whiskey in this glass.”
“Grace—”
Before she could hear what Lucy had to say, Grace stormed off.
Outside the restaurant, she called Max and paced back and forth on the sidewalk. What the hell was he thinking? Canceling a European tour? To stay at home for her? Was the man insane? This was his career they were talking about! And not only that, it was something he’d been dreaming about for years. And he was just going to throw that away without even talking to her about it first?
Hells. No.
Yet in the seconds while the phone rang, Grace had to admit she hadn’t been the easiest person to talk to recently. She understood why he’d played this one close to the vest. He’d been doing such a good job being patient and giving her time, but she should have known that in the end, Max would do whatever it took to solidify the link between them.
All her rational thinking, however, went out the window when she got Max’s voicemail. Anger descended over her like a scratchy hot blanket that she couldn’t wait to kick off her body.
She called him again. On the third ring, a small drop of fear trickled down her back, dousing the flames of her anger. Why wasn’t he answering?
He always answered her calls when he wasn’t performing. In fact, Grace could only remember getting sent to voicemail on two other occasions. And those were times that she’d forgotten and accidentally called during a show. He’d literally been on stage.
Quickly, Grace exited out of the call and scrolled to their joint e-calendar on her phone. Maybe he had an appointment that she’d forgotten about? But no. Besides lunch with Rhys, his afternoon was free and clear. So where the hell was he?
Had he decided to take that space she’d been offering him? It was funny, as much as she’d felt he needed it earlier, now that he wasn’t answering her calls, it made her plain crazy.
Fear hit her, not in a trickle but a full-on deluge. What had she been thinking? Space was dumb. Space was the worst. Space was the opposite of what she wanted. Just feeling unsure and insecure about where he was this moment told her that she was still, and would always be, in love with him. That she couldn’t possibly live without him.
Grace walked back into the restaurant, hoping her friends could talk her down from her panic. But Melina had her phone to her ear, and Grace knew as soon as she saw her friend’s face that something was wrong. Terribly wrong.
“Something bad happened to Max,” Grace whispered, barely able to choke the words out.
“Drink this now,” Melina said and pushed the refilled whiskey toward Grace. “Now!” she added sternly when Grace hesitated.
Despite her shaking hand, Grace swallowed it down in one gulp, her eyes never leaving Melina’s stricken face. What had happened to Max? She couldn’t bear the thought of losing him.
“Lucy, call a cab or Uber or whatever. We have to get to the hospital now.” Melina turned and gripped Grace’s hand. Grace barely felt it. Her entire body had become ice. Hospital? “Rhys just called me. He and Max were in a car accident on their way home from lunch. Max is unconscious and an ambulance took him. That’s all he knew. We need to go to the hospital now.”
Grace
heard the words like they were coming through a cloud. Floaty and non-linear. Surreal. But there was nothing cloud-like about the way she was suddenly charging toward the door of the restaurant. Her man was hurt. Nothing else mattered in the entire world. She’d run to the fucking hospital if she had to, but she’d be there for him.
Same way he’d always been there for her.
Chapter Six
Grace charged through the hospital like an army general on a mission. She’d left Lucy and Melina in her dust. The words ‘no access’ meant nothing to her. Less than nothing. She would stop at nothing until she was by Max’s side.
“Ma’am! Ma’am!” The calls echoed after her as someone tried to stop her. But Grace was having none of it. When someone placed a hand on her shoulder, Grace whirled on the man and immediately read his nametag.
“Sid,” she growled. “If you don’t bring me to my husband in the next thirty seconds, I’m going to pull your head off like a dandelion. And then I’m going to feed it to a motherfucking pig. Are. We. Clear?”
If his ashen face was any indication, she had been extremely clear. “Yes, ma’am. Now, if you’ll just follow me, I’ll look up your husband in the system, and then I can tell you what room he’s in.”
Much better, Grace thought, following the young man over to a kiosk where he clacked on the keyboard long enough that Grace truly considered the merit of her dandelion idea.
“Your husband’s name?” Sid asked.
She thought about telling him that Max was her fiancé, but decided against it. In every way that counted, Max was already her husband. He had been since he first told her he loved her, since the first time they’d made love, since the moment they’d bought their home together. “Max Dalton.”
Hearing his name in the context of this emergency made her tear up. She couldn’t believe she was telling a hospital clerk her fiancé’s name to find out where he was in this hospital. Sid looked back at the screen and clicked around a bit.
“He’s in Room 512, which is on the 5th—”
Grace raced through the hallways, dodging wheelchairs and nurses and doctors, worried family members and food carts, fast enough to medal in the Olympics. The elevator moved much too slow for her taste, and when the doors slid open, the group of people waiting became another hurdle to jump over. “Excuse me, move, please…”
She didn’t know where she was headed, as she had never felt so lost without Max, but her pure instinct and their connection would bring them together. Minutes later…
“Dixie!”
Grace screeched to a halt, almost taking out a group of doctors standing in a clump in the hallway. She didn’t bother to apologize. Instead, she retraced her steps to the door she’d just barreled past, then sagged in relief against the door frame. “Baby,” she breathed, the tears she’d kept locked up threatening to spill over.
Max was lying in a bed, a bandage over one eye and bandages wrapped around his left arm. He looked like total shit but beautiful and alive, never sexier, always gorgeous, and smiling at her.
Smiling.
“Oh, God, Max.” The tears coursed down her face now. She rushed to his side and knelt beside the bed. His hand instantly came to her cheek, and she gripped his hand. His beautiful hand, the one she feared she’d never feel again just a short while ago.
“I’m alright. A little worse for the wear, but I’m going to be okay.”
“Rhys said you were unconscious.” Her voice hitched even though she worked to keep it calm. Some things just couldn’t be helped. Not in moments like this. Which was the same reasoning she used when she crawled onto the bed with him and curled up like a cat by his side. She was careful not to jostle him but she needed to touch him. Feel him. Feel his vibrant, important life under her hands.
“We were T-boned,” he explained. “I hit my head and have a bit of a concussion.”
She instantly pressed her hand to his temple. “What’s going on with this bandage here?” she asked gently, tracing the edges of the one over his eye.
“A scratch. I needed a few stitches above my eye. I think the nurse is a newbie. She went a little overboard.” He stroked a hand over her back. “I’m really fine. A few scratches, a few bangs, one night of observation and then I’m free to go home.”
“What happened?” Grace asked. “What happened in the accident?” She wasn’t sure she even wanted to know. But she also couldn’t NOT know, which of course made her feel even more guilty about not telling Max about her autoimmune disorder when he wanted to be included.
Max shrugged. “Some jackoff ran a red light, came through the intersection. It may have been his fault, but I should have seen him. If anything had happened to Rhys…”
“Forget Rhys! What if something had happened to you!” Grace exclaimed.
“Nice to know I’m loved,” a voice said from the door, and Grace turned to see her brother-in-law standing there.
“Oh, Rhys, I didn’t mean—”
“I know what you meant, beautiful.” Rhys walked in and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “I caught Melina and Lucy and assured them Max was fine. But they want to come up and see for themselves. Just wanted to warn you, but I’ll hold them off for a few minutes. So you two can talk.” He gave them a serious look that encompassed them both, then winked at Grace before turning and leaving the room.
Grace turned back to Max and couldn’t help but run her knuckles over his five o’clock shadow. She loved him so much, she couldn’t believe she’d almost lost him. Just a fraction of a second sooner or later, had the car caught them at a different angle, he might not have been here.
“It’s a good thing you canceled your tour, because I’m not letting you out of my sight until you’re back to a hundred percent. Strike that—two hundred percent.”
Max narrowed his eyes at her. “How did you know that I canceled my tour?”
“Melina let it slip over lunch.”
Max eyed her warily and sighed. “So, how do you feel about that?”
“At first I was angry. That’s when I called you a hundred times, and you didn’t pick up, and I knew something had happened to you. Then Melina told me about the accident and… God, Max. I’ve been so unbearable and annoying and indecisive. Can you ever forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive, Grace. You’ve been dealing with a lot and worried the news about your condition would make me feel differently about us. But it doesn’t,” he said fervently. “If anything, I love you even more now because children or not, I can’t lose you, Grace.”
She squeezed his hand tighter. “I trust that now. Lord, even if I’d come here to find you’d lost all your man parts—”
“Hey, watch what you’re jinxing there, Dixie!” he exclaimed, horror and amusement in his eyes, and she laughed.
“Well, it’s true. I would still love you anyway. And I’d never jinx your man parts. I’m partial to ‘em.”
“You and me both, kiddo. But please, finish your thought, just so I know we’re on the same page. You don’t know how badly I’ve been needing to hear this. If anyone’s been scared of losing the other, it’s been me, scared of losing you, Dixie.”
She nodded. “If you could never give me children, it wouldn’t matter to me. I’d still love you. And need you. You’d still be you. And I wouldn’t be settling for anything by being with you. I’d still consider myself the luckiest woman in the world.”
He stared at her, intense love coming off him like a tidal wave, dousing and drowning her. But he didn’t interrupt, and she was grateful for it. “I can see how you might’ve been feeling the same way. About me.”
He growled. “Might’ve? Not good enough.”
She laughed. “Okay. I see how you DO feel the same way about me. I’m just sorry it took this happening for me to realize it.” Her voice broke then, and he pulled her into a tight hug.
Nothing in this life was guaranteed. She knew that now and reveled in Max’s strong arms, here, today.
“I love you
. There’s nothing that could make me stop loving you. We might never have children together, and I would still love you until the day I die. Or you could get pregnant with septuplets tomorrow, and I would love you forever.”
“Bite your tongue, baby.”
He chuckled. “I would love you if you got plastic surgery to look like Mick Jagger. It’d be weird but I’d love you. I’d love you if for some reason you could only speak in limericks for the rest of your life. Yeah, it’d be annoying as fuck, but I’d love you.”
Grace laughed out loud. She could listen to Max crack jokes forever. She couldn’t imagine being without him.
“I’d love you if you woke up tomorrow with duck bills for feet. Newsflash, Dixie. You’re STUCK with me.” He pulled back to gaze into her eyes. “I can’t give you everything, as much as it pains me. I can’t take this disorder away for you. But I can cancel this fucking tour and drive you to doctor’s appointments…”
“No, you can’t, Max. It’s your career.”
“And commiserate if there’s bad news,” he interrupted, “and celebrate when there’s good news. Just let me do this, Dixie. Let me be a husband to you.”
She hated that she was burdening him with this. And here he was, acting like it was a joy. But she finally understood that it would be a joy for him. To take care of her. The same way it would be a joy for her to take care of him.
“I let them think you were my husband already.”
“What?”
“Out there,” she pointed to the hallway. “When I was searching the hospital for you. I let them think you were my husband.”
“Is that bad?”
“No.” She shook her head. “That’s just it. It felt natural. It felt nice to say it. My husband—you’re my husband. And why not? You already love me like a husband. A partner. Max, it’s time for me to fully accept it. I need to let you in and help me deal with whatever comes in life, even the hard parts. Like you said, we don’t know what’s coming, yet I damn near had my headstone engraved without even realizing it. Well, no more. We’re alive, we’re together, and we’re going to be married. And as for your tour…” She tilted her head to study him. “I think that the scar from the stitches, all the light bruising, you’ll be able to work it. You are a bad boy magician, after all.”
