But then he’d phoned and apologised, explaining that he’d been working day and night on a major case and with the bulk of the work out of the way, he was taking time off and wanted to see her. As hard as she’d tried to treat the call casually, Cora had failed. At the sound of his voice, her heart had banged against her ribs like a feral cat caught in a cage. With her heartbeat reverberating in her ears, she couldn’t even think of refusing to see him. She couldn’t, and she didn’t want to.
“It’s just about ready to eat,” she said now, turning to face him and receiving a jolt, once again, because the sight of him did that to her. Every time.
The table was set. He’d already opened the wine and there was nothing to do but serve it up. Oh, and pray that she hadn’t lost her touch and it would be edible, maybe even impressive enough to justify inviting him. How embarrassing if it turned out to be ghastly.
Later when they were, to Cora’s relief, enjoying the meal, Alex said, “This is a nice house. Have you lived here long?”
“Yes, years. My husband and I designed and built it together. We started off in a very small place and then, when the business was doing well and we could afford it, we bought this block of land. It was a few more years before we could start to build, but we knew it was going to be our forever home, so we didn’t mind the wait. Well, not too much. It was worth waiting, anyway.”
“You must have been very happy here together.”
“Yes.” She swallowed. “Very happy.”
“You don’t mind living here alone?”
“But I don’t live here alone. Well, yes, I’m the only one here most of the time, but it’s the kids’ home as well. Fern comes home during the holidays, and for the odd weekend when she can. Justin will be back when he’s finished his travels. So, it’s still a family home.”
“Right. I see.”
“What kind of home do you have? I bet it’s an apartment, one that’s all minimalist and masculine.”
“It’s a house. A renovated Victorian terrace.”
“Really?”
“I have to live somewhere suitable for my daughter, remember? The garden is only small, but it’s big enough for us, and it’s shady, so she can play outside safely. I hope you’ll come and see it. Soon.”
She balanced her knife on the edge of her plate and lifted her wine glass, saying, “Alex, we need to talk.”
“I thought we were talking.”
“I mean, about your expectation that I’ll fall into a relationship with you.” She sighed, shaking her head. “I didn’t mean to give you the wrong idea by agreeing to see you tonight. I still believe it wouldn’t work.”
His gorgeous grey eyes regarded her steadily. “Okay, you said we need to talk, so let’s talk for real. You explain to me why it wouldn’t work. Don’t just tell me that and expect me to accept it. Let’s get all your reservations out on the table, and then we can move past them.”
She lifted her chin. “What’s the point in me talking about my concerns if you’re already planning to dismiss them as if they’re unimportant?”
“I won’t dismiss them out of hand. I’ll listen, I promise, and I’ll consider each one of them on its merits.”
“You sound like a lawyer.”
His mouth twitched. “Is that your first reason?”
“No!” She took a drink, but what she’d meant to be a sip turned into a gulp. At this rate she’d polish off the bottle on her own, and a fat lot of sense she’d make then. She put the glass down. “Okay, for a start, the age difference is a major hurdle for me.”
“Why?”
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“No. If we’re supposed to be getting everything out in the open, you need to explain that statement.”
“All right. Since you’re making me say it, I’m not a young woman any more, and I don’t have a young woman’s body. I have wrinkles and cellulite, and nothing is where is used to be.” She could see that he was struggling to keep a straight face now. “Don’t laugh at me!”
“I’m not laughing at you, I swear. But I’m amused by the picture you paint of yourself, because it’s so far from reality that it’s comical.” He shook his head. “You’re beautiful, Cora.
Exasperated, she said, “I’m not talking about the person you see when I’m fully clothed. It’s easy to hide things like that. The only time you saw me naked the lights were off.”
He was silent for a long moment, then he cleared his throat. “That’s not strictly true, you know.”
“What?”
“I woke up at first light.” He shrugged. “I would have got up and closed the curtains, but I didn’t want to disturb you. It took me half an hour or so to get back to sleep. What else did I have to do but look at you? I’ll say it again. You’re beautiful.”
“Oh my.” She covered her mouth with her hand, too horrified for words.
“So, you see, that argument holds no water and we can disregard it. Now, is there anything else about the age difference that bothers you?”
She tried to drag her thoughts into order. “Well, yes. You could be with a younger woman.”
“I could.” He sighed. “I was married to a younger woman, and believe me, there are advantages to dating a woman over forty.”
“Like what?”
“Well, would you wake me up in the middle of the night to ask me what I’m thinking?”
Her mouth twitched into a smile. “No.”
“No, and you wouldn’t clog up my phone with nonsensical texts either. You’d only message me when you had something to say. I know you wouldn’t whinge if I had to do some work instead of going out, because you’d probably have some of your own to do. And you’re dignified.” His face twisted as if he was remembering something distasteful. “You wouldn’t want a public screaming match, especially over something trivial, would you?”
“God, no. I can’t think of anything worse.”
“Have I answered your question?”
“Well, yes. But my daughter’s boyfriend is older than you.”
“Is he?” He shrugged. “I’m sorry, but I can’t do anything about that. Still, I think your issue is with him rather than me.”
“Yes, that’s true.” She nodded, blowing out a breath. “I have a big problem with him and he knows it.”
Alex returned to his meal. “This Beef Wellington is great, by the way.”
“Thanks. I’m glad you like it.”
After several moments, he said, “So, is that all? Have we finished discussing your concerns?”
“No.” She hesitated, picked up her glass again and sipped at it. “You see, I hate the thought of people gossiping about me, especially my employees. I have an image to maintain.”
“Right. Well, nobody likes to be subject of gossip. Why would people gossip about us, though?”
“Not about you. The fact that you’re younger than me is only part of it. I’d probably feel the same way about being seen with any man, no matter who that man was, to be honest. Paul was well-known and well-liked in this town, and I’m still thought of as his wife.”
“Do you still feel like his wife?”
Slowly, she said, “Yes, I guess I do, despite the amount of time that’s gone by.”
He stared at his plate for a moment before raising his eyes to meet hers. “Maybe you’re not as over your husband’s death as you thought you were? Did you feel guilty after our night in Sydney? Did you feel as if you were betraying him?”
“No,” she said quickly, then she frowned, considering his question. “Well, yes, I suppose there was some guilt mixed in with everything else I felt, if I’m honest.”
“Please be honest with me. Do you still love him?”
This felt too personal. She didn’t want to discuss her most deeply-buried emotions with this man, as much as she liked him. She didn’t know him well enough. It took time to develop the level of trust she’d need to feel able to talk about such private feelings.
She sighed loudly. “I ca
re about what other people think of me. I can’t help that.”
He took the change of direction in his stride. “And you really believe that people will judge you for dating again after six years of living alone?”
“Some of them will.”
“Do those people matter?”
“Some of them do. Especially my children and my sisters.” As she spoke she remembered Lily encouraging her to see Alex, and Gwen might react the same way, but her children wouldn’t, she was sure.
“Your family would want you to be happy, wouldn’t they?”
She didn’t answer his question. Instead, she said, “I can’t afford to get distracted, or sidetracked. I’m trying to run a business. People rely on me for their wages.”
“I understand. But a little relaxation makes for a healthier mind, don’t you agree?” He looked at her expectantly. “Surely that’s a good thing?”
He did have a point. And if that relaxation included fantastic sex — her eyes closed as memories overwhelmed her — then it could be a very, very good thing. With a little gasp, she pushed those thoughts back into their box, and opened her eyes. She saw his triumphant smile, and okay, it did seem a waste to let him fly back to Sydney when she had this big, empty house, and a big empty bed. And good, thick curtains on the windows which she would definitely close before they went to sleep so that no early morning light could sneak in and wake him.
Chapter 7
Waking in her own bed with Alex was nothing like regaining consciousness in the hotel. She had no intention of escaping this time, and he clearly had no intention of letting her get away either. One arm clamped around her waist while he spooned her was evidence of that.
“Are you awake?” she asked, keeping her voice low.
He nuzzled the place where her neck joined her shoulder and a tremor coursed through her.
“I’ll take that as a yes, then,” she said.
He shifted slightly, allowing her to roll onto her back, then he lifted himself up on one elbow. She loved how relaxed he looked in her bed. His face was shadowed by the overnight growth of stubble and he was too sexy for words. “Good morning,” he said, smiling down at her.
Yes, it was a good morning. Very, very good. “Are you ready for breakfast?”
“Not yet.” He kissed her shoulder and said, “Do you have anything urgent to get up for?”
“No. It’s not a work day. I don’t have to be anywhere.” She shivered when he ran a line of kisses across her collar bone.
“Are you cold?” He tugged the covers over both of them and pulled her into his arms.
She hadn’t known she was cold until she felt the warmth of his skin on hers and she snuggled closer, wanting more, wondering how she’d managed so long without the sensation of a man’s arms around her, keeping her safe—
“Mum! Where are you?”
Cora froze.
“Aren’t you up yet?”
The bedroom door flew open before Cora had had time to react. “Fern!”
“Mum!”
Cora lurched out of Alex’s arms and clasping the bedclothes at her throat, said, “What are you doing here?”
Fern gave her a disgusted look. “What am I doing?”
“You’re not supposed to be here this weekend.”
“Russell and I thought we’d surprise you, and take you out for lunch.”
They’d definitely succeeded in surprising her.
“Is this what you do all the time when I’m not here?”
“Fern, don’t be ridiculous.” Cora spied Russell smirking in the background, and snapped, “For goodness sake, close the door. I’ll talk to you later.”
The door slammed and Cora let her head drop back against the pillow. “Oh, no. Oh, no. This is terrible. I can’t believe this has happened.”
Alex leaned on one elbow and looked down at her. He brushed her hair tenderly from her face with his fingertips. “Don’t worry. I know this isn’t the ideal way for her to find out, but now you don’t have to stress over the best way to tell her.”
She narrowed her eyes. “I wasn’t going to tell her.”
“Maybe not so soon.”
“You don’t understand. This is the worst thing that could have happened.”
“Now, you’re exaggerating.”
“I’m not.” Cora sat up, bunching the bedclothes around her. “I need to talk to Fern. Will you get dressed and leave while I’m trying to undo some of the damage we’ve done? Please?”
“We’ve done nothing wrong. We’re both adults.”
She gave her head an impatient shake. “That’s not the point.”
“Let’s talk to her together—”
“No! Please…just leave us alone.”
With an exasperated sigh he swung his long legs over the side of the bed and rose, dressing quickly. Only once he was fully clothed did he turn and look at her again, his expression grim. “Shall I call you before I leave town?”
She shook her head. With her heart jamming her throat, speaking wasn’t an option.
“Fine. You want me to leave you alone? That’s what I’ll do.” He headed for the door without another glance.
When the door closed behind Alex, a spear of regret stabbed her stomach and she doubled over. What had she done?
After several moments of wallowing, she slowly straightened. She knew what she was doing. Her children were her first priority. They were the most important people in the world. They were her world.
That was how it worked as a parent, as a mother especially; it was impossible not to put them first. And if Alex couldn’t understand that, then she’d been right about a relationship between them not working. She should never have caved in last night. She should have been strong in the face of his logic. She should have resisted the look in his grey eyes instead of letting it act on her like a drug.
She was ashamed of herself for letting desire cloud her vision, but all she could do now was attempt to put things right with Fern.
Chapter 8
“It won’t take Becky long to settle in.” Cora looked at Gwen over the rim of her coffee cup. “Once you get her into school and she starts making friends.”
Gwen sighed. “I hope you’re right. I thought I was doing the right thing moving her away from Stuart now that he’s engrossed with his new family and ignoring her, but you’d think I was the worst mother in the world the way she carries on.”
Cora laughed briefly and said,. “Join the club. Fern hates me at the moment. I only hope it’s not permanent.”
“Oh, Cora,” Lily said. “She doesn’t hate you.”
Gwen flicked her long dark hair over one shoulder. “Is this about the man that Fern caught you in bed with?”
Cora shot a glare at Lily. “Thanks for keeping that quiet.”
“I haven’t told anyone but Gwen and she doesn’t count. She’s our sister.”
“What happened to him, anyway?” Gwen said.
“Cora sent him away.”
Cora shrugged. “Lily thinks I’m being ridiculous.”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” Lily said. “I don’t think you’re ridiculous to care about Fern’s feelings, obviously. I wouldn’t want anything to hurt Emma either. And I know you’re extra protective of Fern because Paul’s death hit her so hard.” Lily added a low-calorie sweetener to her own coffee and stirred.
“But?”
“But, you do have to think of yourself as well.” Lily sipped her coffee then put the cup down again. “I mean, Fern is already an adult. It probably won’t be long before she settles down and starts her own family.”
Cora grimaced. “Don’t say that. Oh, god, I hope she doesn’t think of settling down with Russell. I couldn’t bear it.”
“You would, though. You wouldn’t like it, for sure, but you’d accept that he was her choice and get on with it.”
“I don’t know. I think you have far too much faith in me, Lily. I’m not sweet and forgiving like you.” Cora scanned the coffee shop, che
cking that no one could overhear their conversation.
“No, I haven’t. You love Fern, and it’s more important to you to have her in your life than it is to see Russell out of it.”
“Now you’re giving me a headache.”
Gwen rolled her eyes. “Cora, all Lily is trying to say is that Fern will get over seeing you and Alex together, and you have a right not to be lonely.”
Cora tipped her cup and swallowed the last mouthful of coffee. She pushed the cup and saucer away. “I’m worried that she’ll feel as if both parents have abandoned her — her father, physically, and her mother, emotionally.”
“I think she’ll come to realise that you don’t love her any less just because you have a man in your life,” Lily said, “and when she sees how happy he makes you, she’ll have to admit that he’s good for you.”
“He does make you happy, doesn’t he?” Gwen asked.
Cora felt her face heat up and covered it with her hands, groaning softly. When she parted her fingers and looked at her sisters, both of them were grinning.
Chapter 9
Cora sat at the breakfast table. She was going to be late for work, but for once she didn’t care. Well, she did, but she was determined not to hurry. She was about to have a long overdue conversation with Fern who was home for the holidays. She’d done a lot of thinking since her coffee with Lily and Gwen the week before, and she’d made some decisions.
Fern breezed in. “Still here, Mum?” She wrinkled her nose. “Coffee? Thought you only drank tea in the morning?”
“I do, normally.” Cora lowered her mug. “I fancied a change.”
“Tea’s better for you.”
More Than Just One Night (The Selwood Sisters Novellas) Page 4
