“I already said no. I won’t say it again. Now do what you said you or so help me God, I’ll make you wish you were both dead,” I seethed through clenched teeth.
Riley pushed herself to her knees and protectively hovered over Perry, “No. I won’t do it, I won’t do anything, until you promise you’ll let her go.”
I could feel my jaw clenching so tightly that if I wasn’t careful I knew I would shatter some teeth. I took in one deep breath and cracked my neck.
Fine, she wants me to set her free. Then free she shall be.
I went to the bed and grabbed Riley by her ponytail, yanking her viciously to the floor. While she cried in a heap on the carpet, I pulled a pocket knife out and cut the ropes that I had used to tie Perry to the bed with. I hoisted her still unconscious body into my arms and walked toward the balcony.
“Jax! What are you doing?” Riley asked frantically behind me.
“I’m setting her free. You promised to stay with me if I did, didn’t you?” I asked glancing over my shoulder.
“Yes, but –”
“But nothing,” I replied cutting her off. I went to the edge of the balcony and lifted Perry’s sleeping, angelic body over the side.
Goodbye again, sweet Anberlin.
Riley’s scream of horror was still ringing in my ears when I heard the sound of Perry’s small, fragile body crash into the concrete below.
Nineteen
I was lying in the bed, holding Riley tightly against me. I was doing my best to console her, but she was crying so terribly hard, that I was afraid I was only making her feel worse. Of course, it probably didn’t help that I was restraining her more than I was holding her, but I found myself hating to see her so terribly hurt over Perry’s death.
“She didn’t have to die. She could’ve lived here with us if you had only done what you were told to do,” I said to her softly.
Riley struggled against me and I shifted on the bed. I sat up and brought her up next to me, tightening my grip on her. It was important for her to know that someone was dead because of her and not me.
“Would you like to hear a story, Riley?” I asked quietly.
Her response was another violent struggle. I chuckled and kissed the side of her head. I thoroughly enjoyed that she had so much fight in her. It would prove to be very useful to her once I felt that she was ready for my tests.
“I’d like to tell you about how I became the way that I am. Would you like to hear it?” I prodded.
“No! I don’t give a fuck! You killed Perry for no reason! Nothing you say to me can make me feel sympathy for a monster like you,” she yelled through her tears.
I leaned my head back against the headboard and sighed deeply. Maybe it was a bad time to bring it up. Maybe what she needed was some time alone. Time to grieve or whatever the hell it was that she wanted.
But I was never given time to mourn the loss of myself. I was never given a break or a chance to catch my breath. The point was to break me and they did not stop until I was indeed broken.
I glanced down at the angry small woman who was crying in my arms and sighed. Riley was different; she was older than I was when I took her and she had a fighting spirit. It was something that I couldn’t deny and for that reason alone, I decided to give her time.
I climbed off of the bed and left her alone in my room. My room; no one had ever earned that privilege from me before because I had not won that privilege from my mentors no matter how hard I had tried. My growing feelings for Riley were starting to compromise how I was teaching her. We hadn’t started lessons yet, I hadn’t left her in the Alone Room by herself for more than a few hours at a time and now I was giving her my room.
How the hell was I supposed to teach her when I couldn’t bring myself to punish her accordingly? I walked down the hallway toward the stairs with purpose. I had to get to the Alone Room. I had to punish myself for not following the rules as they were set out to me.
I went into the basement and ran down the hallway toward the coded door. It took me three tries and one shout of frustration to open it. I walked in and looked around wildly. There had to be some way to punish myself but none that I could see in the room. Until the glint of Riley’s razor caught my attention. I saw it out of the corner of my eye and walked over to the bed and dropped to my knees to fish it out. I held it in the palm of my hand and stared at it before I did what I knew I had to do.
I got to my feet and walked to the center of the room where the ropes that held Riley and Perry were frayed and still in partial tact. I reached up and wrapped my left arm as tightly as I could before I drew the blade across my forearm and watched the stream of crimson flow down.
I gripped the rope tightly with my hand and quickly cut myself again allowing for another flow of blood to pour forward. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, but not from the pain; from the euphoria I was feeling.
My mentors had never cut me before so I never knew what this felt like, but it wasn’t the act itself. It was because of Riley; it had to be. I had accidentally cut myself numerous times before repairing things and building new doors and I reacted as a normal person would. Scream, cuss, get angry, calm down, and continue on.
But because I was doing this for Riley, it was stirring a new kind of monster inside of me. Now I was left wondering how I would feel if it was Riley herself who drew the blade across my skin.
I quickly undid the rope from around my arm and went into the Last Day room. I used a leather blindfold to create a tourniquet for myself so I wouldn’t bleed all over the damn house.
I’ll find her a new Perry. A better one. One that won’t fight us. One that would do anything for Riley. One that she would enjoy. She won’t be sad anymore because of it. I’ll find one and bring her back to the Alone Room before I ask Riley to cut me. It’ll be so perfect because after she does I’ll take her to her new gift. She’ll never want to leave me. Never.
I went straight to the den and grabbed Evan’s body. I slung him over my shoulder and left the house through the back door. I walked far out into the back of the property where I had a huge fire pit that I only used one other time before. I had killed one of my lessons accidentally and my mentors made me burn the body and watch. The smell was horrific and I became ill as the skin started to turn black and fall off.
Today I would have to use it again. For Evan and Perry then I would take what was left of them, bag them up, and throw them into the Tasman Sea when time allowed. I threw him on the side of the empty pit and turned around to gather some of the wood I had chopped a few months before I found Riley. I was frustrated that day, emotionally and sexually, so I just spent the day sawing trees down and chopping wood. I laughed when I looked at the pile and realized just how frustrated I must have been to have this much wood lying around.
Nonetheless, I covered him partially in wooden blocks, wiped the sweat from my forehead and went around to the side of the house to collect Perry’s body. It took me a few moments to find her body where it had apparently rolled into the bushes, but when I did, I carried her back to the makeshift pyre and tossed her onto her boyfriend. A few more blocks of wood and some accelerant and they would be ready.
I stretched my arms over my head before I went toward the shed that sat nearby. I grabbed a chair from inside, a bottle of lighter fluid, and a book of matches. I soaked the wood and went back to open my chair. When I was ready and comfortable, I lit the entire book of matches and tossed them onto Perry’s body.
In the distance, over the raging fire, I saw Riley appear in the windows of the den. She had her hands pressed tightly against them and she was watching me, but I couldn’t tell if her face was one of horror, understanding, or wonder.
I watched her small frame pressed against the window for a few minutes longer, with the flames raging between us, causing us to look like mirages to each other. At least that’s how I felt and I didn’t like it.
I got to my feet and started to make my way toward Riley when I noticed that sh
e wasn’t dressed as I had left her. Curiosity caused me to walk faster and when I was finally able to see her clearly, she stole my breath away.
The lace nightgown I had put her in she had ripped a strip off and wrapped it around her eyes. She was wearing one of my button down shirts, but it was open and the only other thing she had on was a pair of my boxers. She had remade herself almost as if it were the first day she had woken up in my home.
But why?
I put a hand to the window that separated us and she slid hers up the glass to mirror mine. She never tore her gaze away from me. It was cold, void of purpose, full of hate, and yet still so beautiful.
Riley moved her right hand to her side and I smiled wistfully. Either she had figured out the codes or I had been dumb enough to leave the kitchen drawer open, which I know I hadn’t.
I reached for the door handle and held it tightly. A smile started to spread across her lips that was so entrancing that I swear to God, I could have died happily on the spot. Slowly, I opened the door and she walked out.
I felt my body go numb when she stood in front of me and looked up at me with her blue eyes. I fell to my knees in front of her when she raised the large knife over her head.
Mother Mercy, let this be over as quickly as it can be, I thought as I looked up into her eyes.
When she brought her arm down, I quickly slapped her arm and the knife flew about twenty feet away. Riley threw herself at me angrily and knocked us both over. I assumed that her sudden strength had come from an adrenaline rush. The moment I was lost in was gone as I began to laugh.
She became so angry at my laughter that she began to swat blindly with all the fury she could muster, hitting me in the face and pounding her fists into my chest.
I only laughed harder.
She had gone from a visually sexual goddess to a viciously angry anti-goddess and I loved it. I loved it because now I knew that she could switch her emotions as quickly as I could since I had been broken.
I didn’t have to do much to her to finally achieve what I wanted. Yes, I may have fucked her in her sleep and stolen her innocence. I may have viciously fucked her on the kitchen counter. I may have hung her in the Alone Room in shame and I may have given her the ultimatum to take Perry’s virginity or kill her, but what worked most was the psychological torments.
I had finally broken Riley.
Twenty
Six months later
We were lying on the couch watching the telly. Riley was lying on top of me on her side, her head on my chest and an arm around my waist. Everything had been calm and quiet since we had taken Evan and Perry’s remains and dumped them into the Tasman Sea.
It took few months for her to get adjusted to her new life here with me, but I think I had her trust now since I had taken her out to help me. I didn’t trust her enough to let her out without me, but we would take walks sometimes and she would hold my hand so tightly that I often wondered if she were trying to break it.
But when we were home alone, she would be the most attentive nurturing captive I ever had. And in bed she had become insatiable. It was sex every night before we went to sleep and if ever there were a time that I fell asleep watching the telly with her on the couch, I would wake up to her either sucking my dick or riding me with such a ferocity that I was worried she would snap it off.
It was absolutely magnificent and perfect, the way our lives were turning out. Almost too magnificent and perfect.
I knew that she was plotting something. I wasn’t stupid enough to think that Riley just suddenly decided to be cooperative to everything and anything that I wanted. That she had forgotten about my kidnapping her, popping her sweet cherry as she lay drugged on my bed, and locking her up in the Alone Room.
I also had no qualms with playing along for now.
“Is it time for bed yet?” she asked with a wide yawn.
“It can be,” I replied running my hands over her hair.
She pushed herself up with her hands and looked tiredly into my eyes and nodded. I smiled and brushed her hair back. If only this were real I would be so damn happy.
“Come on then, off to bed we go,” I said, gently smacking her ass. She giggled and pushed herself off of me, waiting patiently. I turned off the television and set the remote down in its usual place.
As we exited the living room, Riley took my hand and we walked up the stairs toward the bedroom. I pushed the door open for her as was our usual routine and locked the door once she had climbed into bed. Riley always slept facing away from the window; I knew it was because of Perry but I doubt if she would ever confess that much to me.
I opened the balcony doors slightly and hooked the bottoms together so that they wouldn’t open any further unless I loosened them up and lay down behind Riley. I put my arm around her and held her close to me waiting for her to start her usual hand roaming when instead she just sighed.
“Do you know what tomorrow is?” she asked quietly.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“It’s nine months to the day that I woke up here,” she replied.
I grunted. I honestly thought we were past the whole hostage situation, but I had guessed incorrectly.
“Did you know that Jax?” she asked turning slightly.
“Nope.”
“It is. I’ve been counting the days. I thought by now it would be easier, especially since we’re ... together, but I just miss home so much sometimes that I can’t stand it,” she said softly.
“What can I do, Riley? To make it better?” I asked.
“Nothing,” she whispered.
I rolled onto my back and ran my hands through my hair. I knew that the only thing that would truly make Riley happy would be to let her go, but I couldn’t risk it. It wasn’t so much that I feared that she would turn me in, it was that I feared that my want – no my need for her would kill me if she weren’t here with me.
Still ... It can’t hurt to ask.
“Do you want to leave? Me? New South Wales? Do you want to go home and work in your book store and visit your family?” I asked.
Riley cleared her throat but didn’t say anything. Not at first; instead she sat up and crossed her legs underneath her. I watched her push her hair behind her ears before taking a deep breath and letting it out.
“No.”
What?
“No one there cares about me. No matter how much I miss them or how much I miss running around that book store, none of them care. If they did there would’ve been a manhunt looking for me by now. Sometimes when you leave, I watch the news just to see if maybe, just maybe, there’s something about a missing American girl or pleas from a family for her safe return. And do you know what I see Jax? Do you? Everything but. It kills me to know that they don’t love me anymore and have probably forgotten about me and yet I still love and miss them all so much. But, even though this is never a situation I thought I would be in, and even though I know you don’t love me and that you probably never will. I know that you only keep me around to ‘play with’, but goddammit Jax, I at least feel wanted when I’m with you,” she explained quietly.
I stared at the ceiling. I couldn’t think of a single fucking thing to say to her. How could you tell someone who had just poured their heart out to you that they were only half right? That what they were feeling wasn’t how they should be feeling at all? That you were the worst possible thing for them but couldn’t bear to watch them walk away?
She sighed unhappily and climbed off the bed. I kept my eyes trained on the ceiling while she walked over to the balcony doors and began to fidget with the loops.
“Up and to the left,” I said softly. Since I couldn’t respond to what she had just said, I figured I could at least tell her how to undo the locks that held the doors together.
Riley undid the loops and tossed them aside. The blast of cool air struck me like a knife to the side when she pulled the doors wide open and I shivered. I turned my back to the doors and pulled the quilt up from the en
d of the bed and wrapped myself securely in it. She wouldn’t jump so I had no reason to worry about her being on the balcony alone.
As I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, one thought kept floating through my mind. Does Riley care enough about me now to cut me? I chuckled after the thought crossed my mind for the fifth time.
“Jax?” Riley called from the balcony.
“Yeah?”
“Nothing,” she said after a few seconds of silence. She punctuated it with a heavy sigh and I opened my eyes.
Obviously nothing means something, I thought pushing my quilt off. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and sat there waiting for her to continue, but she kept her back to me as I had to her and didn’t speak.
“What would you do if I jumped?” she asked suddenly.
“I’m faster than you think, Riley. You’d never have the chance,” I replied.
She glanced over her shoulder at me before grabbing onto the railing and hoisting herself up. I was off after her like a bullet. She had managed to get one leg over by the time I grabbed hold of her and pulled her back, falling onto the balcony floor.
I was shaking, not because of what Riley had just done, but because I let her test me. That’s not how this was supposed to go. She wasn’t supposed to be the one in charge and I just ... I shoved her off of me and stood up. She looked up at me with her perfect blue eyes, a smile dancing in their hollowness. The hollowness that I had carved out of her from almost a year of captivity and I wondered if I had broken her mentally more than any of the others. But the others never would have lasted this long, I reminded myself.
“What’s wrong?” she inquired in a small voice.
“Everything,” I shouted. “This isn’t supposed to work like ... like ... this! You’re not supposed to want to be here Riley. You’re supposed to be fighting me every step of the way and I shouldn’t be tested. How dare you test me?” I began to pace quickly back and forth across the carpet in the bedroom.
“This is how I am, Jax. If you can’t handle it then you’re going to have to just do something about it,” she retorted defiantly.
Save Riley Page 10
