by Shyla Colt
I place a tiny bouquet of white roses down beside me.
“Look, Daddy, the rose bushes are prospering again this year. Don’t worry. I asked mom if it was okay to take a few to bring to you. She guards that thing with her life. It’s funny. You were the one with the green thumb, and she couldn’t keep a house plant alive to save her life. Now she’s explaining arrangements she’s learned about on the internet. It’s adorable.” I toy with the soft gray skirt that flows down my body and tickles the tip of the toes. “I don’t know what to do Daddy. I was doing fine. I like my job. I have a set of friends I can trust. There are no birth children, but I’m a damn Godmother. I thought I was happy. Then he kissed me and turned my entire world upside down. I don’t know what it means.
I haven’t been with anyone since, Anthony, and he hasn’t’ been with anyone since Rain. Was it a moment of lust by proximity? I’m not a coward. But this scares the piss out of me. He’s my best friend, and those children are my world. This could ruin everything we’ve worked so hard to build over the past few years. Part of me thinks it already has ‘cause I can’t stop thinking about him.” I close my eyes.
The details in my dream increase nightly. I’m waking up wet, achy, and more confused with each day that passes. Phoenix’s questions opened up a can of worms. Now everything between Houston and I is an awkward mess. “I always thought the arrangement Hous and I have benefitted the kids. Now, I’m not so sure. Did I overstep my bounds and warp their sense of things? Has my selfishness prevented Houston from finding a woman who’ll help him raise them as their mother? He’s the only one who understands what I went through and then some. I didn’t mean to hold on to him so tightly.” Guilt wraps around me like a boa constrictor. My throat swells. “I’d never do anything to hurt them. You know that. I’m not sure how to move forward now.”
It’s been weeks since I saw Houston in person and I can still feel his lips against mine, and the weight of his body pressed against me. That scares the living shit out of me. I’m a coward. I admit it. I see the kids on days he’s working late, and their nanny, Brigid has them. I’m out before he comes home.
“I can’t keep avoiding him. We have a weekend trip we leave for tomorrow. What do I do?” I close my eyes and let the tears flow. The relief is immense. A gentle breeze caresses my cheek, and I swear I can feel the ghost of a hug. I know he’s here. I release the anxiety, sadness, and stress, and let the peace settle into my soul. For the first time in weeks, my mind is clear. I have a decision to make. I’m going to go all in or we’re going to pretend this never happened. Either way. I need to speak with Houston before we take this trip. Everyone will sense the discord.
“Thanks Dad, you always know the right thing to say,” I whisper. I wipe away my tears and continue the conversation, filling him on all the things that’ve been going on. It’s been over fifteen years since I lost my father, but I sense him around me constantly, and always see signs of his presence. It’s a comfort to me. While I can’t have him here physically, he’s not completely gone. Finished with my conversation, I kiss my finger tips and place them on his headstone as I rise.
“See you soon, Daddy.”
I walk toward the car refreshed and determined. I’m not willing to risk what we’ve built for a roll in the hay that may or may not turn into more. I hope Houston sees it that way. I check my watch. It’s just after five thirty; Houston will be home. I pull back onto the dirt path and make my way out of the cemetery and into the Austin rush hour traffic.
I steer into the driveway, cut the engine and sit. It’s the only time I’ve dreaded going to the place I consider a second home. Queasy, I put a hand on my stomach and lean back in my seat. I take a deep breath and leave the car before I talk myself out of it. I lift my hand to knock, and the door opens.
“I thought I might have to come out and get you,” he says. His tone is neutral, and his expression is guarded.
“A few more minutes and you might’ve had to,” I admit.
“Are you here to back out of the trip tomorrow?"
“No. I wouldn’t do that,” I say. I'm that he thinks I’d flake.
“You’ve been dodging me lately. What was I supposed to think?” His voice is so cold it could be winter.
“I told you I needed time."
“Yes, which means a few days, not weeks with no contact what so ever.”
“I needed to be alone to think.”
“And now?” He arches a brow.
“Now I’m ready to talk.” I’ve never him be so standoffish toward me. It leaves me chilled and uncomfortable. “Don’t be like this, Houston. It’s hard enough.”
“You’re the one person I count on to always be there. You shut me out –
“No, I took some time for myself.” I correct him.
“That’s not what it felt like.” His sharp words sting me. I did the one thing I was trying to avoid doing. I hurt him. Grip his arms.
“Hous, I’m sorry. I took a time out to prevent this.”
“Prevent what?”
“Any hurt. I needed to process to keep my foot out of my mouth.”
“Was kissing me so bad, Liv?” Pain clouds his penetrating gray-blue orbs.
“No, that’s the problem. It was too good.” I owe him honesty.
He blinks. “What?”
“There’s something between us. I can admit that. It’s potent and unexplored. I think it should stay that way.”
“Why?” he asks in an exasperated tone.
“What we have is so good, so precious. I don’t want to put it in jeopardy. Other than my father. You’ve been the only man whose proved I can trust them.”
“You think I’d cheat?” His sounded wounded.
“No. It’s not about that. What if it didn’t work out? Where would we be then?”
“Daddy who’s at the door?” Echo calls.
He sighs. “You staying or going?”
“Staying.”
“It’s Livy.”
“Yay!” the excited chorus tugs at my heart strings.
“This isn’t over.”
I sigh. “I know. Are you going to give me a pass for now?”
“If you promise not to run away after we put them down for the night.”
“Promise.”
“Alright.” He steps back and lets me inside. The intense relief hits me like a wave. I wrap my hands around his waist and hug him tight.
“Are we okay?” I whisper.
He kisses my forehead. “We’re okay, Livy.”
The kids are sitting on the couch, watching a cartoon.
“We were just getting ready for bath and bed time,” Houston says.
“Bubble bath?” Echo asks.
“No, goo bath. It’s my turn,” Phoenix says. I've missed these fights both bubbles versus the magic powder that turns the bath water to a water bead like substance makes my heart sing.
“Since I’m here, how about both?” I ask looking at Houston.
“Normally I’d make you guys work it out and take a vote, but today we’ll do both,” Houston says.
We split up. I run a bubble bath for the girls, and he takes Phoenix. I see the best parts of Rain in the girls. Their sweetness, curiosity, and facial features are from their mother. I’ll never understand how she could leave something so precious behind. Rain and I met in high school when we both held down jobs at the local whippy dip stand and hit it off. She was a breath of fresh air with her quirky personality and different beliefs.
We remained close through the years. I considered her family. As I sit back and let the girls play with their rubber duckies, I’m reminded that you never know what a person is going to do until they do it. This is why Houston and I need to nip this thing in the bud. An hour and two Fancy Nancy books later, I’m parked on the couch waiting for Houston to finish up with Phoenix.
“Are the girls sleeping?” He asks as he sits beside me.
“Almost there.”
“Phoenix was out before Thomas r
eturned to the station,” he says with a gentle smile.
“School tuckers them out, huh?”
“Yes, I can’t say I don’t enjoy the extra quiet time.”
I laugh. He moves closer. His leg brushes mine. I tense.
“I understand why you’re wary. But this is you and me. There’s nothing we can’t do together. If we decide to do this, nothing could stop us.”
“I wish I felt the same way.”
“So we what? Ignore it?”
“Yes,” I say.
He sighs. “It’s a patch job, and you know it. Tell me you haven’t wondered what we’d be like together.”
“Have you?” I ask turning the tables.
“Every damn night since I discovered how soft your lips are.” He traces my lips with his fingertip, and I shiver.
“Houston—.”
“I’m not going to push you.” He leans in pausing a millimeter from my lips. “Neither of us is ready for this. Not yet. But you should’ve talked to me about it not run.” His warm breath makes my lips tingle. I swallow, hard.
“No more disappearing?” he asks.
“No,” I whisper.
“Good. Next time I’ll chase your ass down.”
I know he means every word.
“We’re all right?” I ask breathlessly.
“We're all right.” He pulls back.
“I need to get out of here and pack. I've been working late every day to finish things up, so I don’t come back to a mess.” I scramble from the couch desperate to put space between us. My heart and my mind are waring. Part of me is bucking the thought of ignoring the attraction simmering between us.
“Now I think I’m the one who gets to say you work too hard.” He teases as he walks me to the door.
I flash him a smile as I slip out the front door.
“Leave the presents in your closet, and I’ll stop by tomorrow while they’re at school and wrap them.”
“They’ll be waiting for you. I managed to get us two houses. One for us and the kids and one for Mom and Dad. Braedon and Neve are going to meet up with us at Schlitterbahn.”
“So it’s Maloney mini family reunion, then?”
He laughs. “Pretty much.”
“Alright, I’ll get my mind ready and my stomach. You guys drink like fish.” I wink, and I’m out the door running on the fumes of courage and acting skills.
***
Houston
The car is quiet as the night settles in and the sky turns into a star-dotted landscape of indigo. One of the things I love most about Texas is the sky. We’ve been a lot of places with Dad, but this will always be home. I sneak a look at Liv. She’s passed out in the passenger seat. Her shorts have ridden up to reveal a tantalizing amount of thigh. I want to reach over and see if her skin is as soft as her lips were.
I lied to her and maybe myself last night. Ignoring this is only going to last so long. She’s a virus that got into my system, and I have no clue how to cure myself. I shift in the driving seat and will my cock to calm down. I’ve been rock hard since I got home and saw her wearing those ass-hugging khaki shorts and a white tank top.
She has her hair up in a curly puff that leaves her graceful neck bare. I want to bit it and mark her as mine. The feelings I hold for her disturb me. They’re more mature than the ones I once had for my fiancée. Liv and I have been tried and tested. Perhaps that made the difference.
When Phoenix asked me about Liv being his mother, it struck me. I do consider live their permanent mother.
She’s bathed, fed, and changed them for the past three years. Her not living with is a technicality. She’s over our place more than not. It’s why she has a room. When anything happens, good or bad, she’s the one I turn to, and she’s never let me down. Would becoming an us be a bad thing?
I can’t stand the thought of putting my emotions out there, but I’m already invested in Liv. It’d hurt more to see her leave. She thinks she’s hurting the kids with our arrangement. I saw it in her eyes. She’s stubborn as a damn mule. Once she gets an idea in her head, she won’t relinquish it without a good reason to. I’m a strong man, but this situation has me damn near ready to toss my cookies. I’m rusty at romance and relationships, and Liv deserves better than some half-ass attempt to win her over.
I curl my hands around the steering wheel and grind my teeth together. The little bitch is still fucking with my life. I’m emotionally constipated. There's no such thing as doing better than Liv Cole. I know it. Yet, here I am scared to take the next step. She took on the weight of the world to help me with the children when she didn’t have to. What could happen at this stage to make her cut and run? Short or me cheating, which would never happen, we can weather it. I continue the debate as the GPS system guides me into the heart of New Braunfels I realize I might be ready to try. We pull up in front of the tiny electric blue home with white shudders, flower boxes full of colorful blooms and the fairy garden I knew would be a big hit. I can’t wait for everyone to see it during the day.
I reach over and run my knuckles down Liv’s face. Her skin is butter soft.
“Hey, It’s time to get up.” I lean in and inhale her scent. She smells sweet and fresh. I want to bury my nose in her neck and inhale her scent and feel her body pressed against mine.
“Hmm.” Her eyelids flutter open, and she gives me a drowsy smile. “We’re here?” She clears her throat, sits up.
“Yeah. I’m going to unlock the door and turn on some lights. I’ll be right back.”
I walk up to the home and find the rental keys in the mailbox, where they said they’d be. I unlock the white wooden door, step inside and go through turning on the lights and turning down bed sheets. When I return to the car, Liv is standing outside the car.
“I got them all unbuckled,” she says with a soft smile. In the moonlight, she’s an ethereal goddess. I want to step closer and take her mouth and show her everything I can’t manage to say. I look down instead.
“Thanks, let’s get them in bed, and then we’ll bring in our stuff.” We work together quietly depositing the little bodies in their bunks for the evening. We creep out onto the porch, and I stretch my arm over my head.
“Sorry I was a crappy road trip partner,” she says.
“It’s alright. I knew you were tired,” I say.
“You’re too good to me,” she says.
I cup her face, and she leans into my touch. My mouth goes dry.
“Liv.” I breathe her name. She straightens. Her brown eyes darken with the want I feel to my core. I wrap my hand around her neck and pull her to me. She tilts her head back, and I lower my mouth to her lush lips. She moans and I dart my tongue in, taking what I’ve been long denied. She’s sweet, hot, and so feminine it hurts. Her curves press against me, fitting like we’re two pieces of the same puzzle. I run my hands down her body and palm her firm ass, massaging the globes.
She rocks her hips into me, and my cock strains to get out of my pants. I tear my lips for her.
“Careful. You keep moving against me like that, and I’m not going to be able to stop myself from taking you right here on this porch.”
She mewls. “It’s been a long time for me, and right now all I can think about is how good you’d feel wrapped around my cock.” The words are coming out faster than I can try to contain them. She bites her bottom lip. I locked the beast away inside myself the day I was stood up at the altar. Now, he’s unleashed and ready to make up for lost time.
“You shouldn’t,” she whispers. Her voice is husky, and her eyes are unfocused.
“I shouldn’t want you?” I move my hand around the front of her body and cup her pussy through her shorts. “Or I shouldn’t touch you.” I rub my palm against the heat coming through her khaki.
She grips my biceps. “Oh, Hous.”
The sound of my name spilling from her lips has my dick leaking pre-come. She rocks her hips, and I know I’m hitting the right spot. She mewls.
“Are you wet fo
r me right now, Kitten?”
“So wet.”
“Fuck, I bet you taste like spun sugar.” I make smaller circles. She bucks against me. Breathe escapes her parted lips in tiny puffs of air. “That’s it, let go for me.” She leans forward buries her face against my chest and releases a muffled cry. My cock jerks and yields more liquid than I wanted. I growl. “Got me about to come in my pants like a boy who just hit puberty.” I kiss the crown of her head.
“Daddy? Livy?” Echo’s voice cries out. We jump apart.
“Take a minute, I got it.” I adjust my cock in my pants and go to see my daughter. Round one goes to me.
***
In a black bikini top and black shorts that hung low on her hips, Liv looks downright edible. I take a long draw of my bottleneck to quench the fire raging inside me. She’s my drug of choice. Tasting her lips and coaxing one orgasm from her, will never be enough. My sister, Neve pops a bottle of wine across the table, and they continue to chat.
My parents have the kids tonight, which gives me the incredibly rare evening solo.
“Do you have something you want to tell me, bro?” my brother, Braden asks.
“Like what?” I lean back in the lawn chair we’ve set out in the back. We don’t get together as much as I like. With Neve working a job as a pharmaceutical rep, and Braden in the Marines, it’s special when we can sync our schedules.
“That fact that you’re aware of the sexual tension that exists between you and your sexy as fuck best friend.”
I snicker. “Still harboring that crush, Brae?”
“Crush nothing. I have good taste. I’m relieved to find you do too. I wasn’t starting to worry about you there. It’s been a long time since you showed interest in the fairer sex.”
“You surprised about that?”
“No, but I do think it’s time you get back on the horse. And I approve of your choice. Only reason I never tried with her was because I knew you’d break my neck.”
