by Katie Dowe
“I want you sleeping in my bed,” the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them and he almost kicked himself.
She lifted her tapered brows and looked at him in amusement. “Is that so?”
“Look Deidre,” he came to stand before her and gripped her arms with his hands. “We are good together in case you did not pick up on that and I want us to be exclusive.”
“You mean relationship exclusive?” she asked him.
“Yes, dammit!” he muttered. “I know you said that you did not do the relationship stuff, but we are in a relationship and you might as well acknowledge it.”
She pulled away from him and went to get her coat.
“What are you doing?” he demanded coming up behind her.
“I am going home, and if you want you can come with me.” She pulled on her coat and turned to face him. “I already told you how it is and you said you were okay with that. You have no right to change the rules now, Jeremy.”
“I am not changing the goddamned rules!” he bit out blocking her way as she made to leave. “I am trying to make you see that we belong together.”
She pushed at him but he would not budge. “We have incredible and unbelievable sex and I love it. I have never had it that good with anyone before. I am not interested in anything else, and I want you to get that into your head. Now would you mind? I would like to leave.” He turned and she moved past him. “Are you coming?” she asked him.
“I would like to sleep in my own bed for a change,” he told her bitterly. “Drive safe.”
Deidre saw the grim expression on his handsome face and for a moment felt her heart stuttered! She turned and walked out of his life without a word.
****************************
That night he could not sleep in his room. She wore a subtle flowery scent that permeated the air in his bedroom and he could not get rid of it, not that he wanted to. She had left her ruined leggings and he took it up inhaling the essence of her, his face anguished. He had fallen in love with her when he was only supposed to use her to get an heir. The joke was certainly on him!
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Deidre hurried into the house quickly to get out of the cold. Her legs were bare because she had left her leggings in his room. She had been tempted to stay! How much she had been, but there was something about that place that gave her the creeps. She had no idea if it had been the grim looking picture of his dad hanging on the living room wall or the silence in the manor, but something about the place gave her the willies. She had told him she was not interested in a relationship and she had spoken the truth. She had seen her mother with her father and had seen the love there and she wanted something like that but not now. Relationships tend to distract a person and she had no intention of being distracted. She was at her best when she was working and she wanted to keep it that way for now. She peeled off her boots and his socks, her touch lingering on the high quality silk before folding it carefully and putting it in one of the drawers before flopping back onto the bed. She really missed being with him, but if it was over, then so be it!
*******************************
Deborah was dissatisfied. Larry had come over and they made a go of it in the living room, leaving her exhausted. He had left soon after claiming that he had some work to do but she knew he was seeing other women. She suddenly did not feel anything anymore but felt empty and disillusioned. Her second husband Gregory had told her that she should never allow anyone to make her feel as if she was not worth something. He had told her that she was beautiful and loving and she should always remember that. She had forgotten about that when she allowed Larry to have empty sex with her over and over again. They never talked, but as soon as he was finished he was gone. She felt the tears coming as she wandered inside the elegant living room to look at a picture of her husband. His hazel eyes so much like Deidre’s sparkled with life as he smiled for the camera. She took down the framed photo and passed her hand over it. She had gotten a glimpse of what it meant to be truly happy and it had been snatched away from her.
“Don’t dwell in the past my love,” it was as if he was standing there whispering to her. “Find happiness where you can and never sell yourself short.”
She collapsed on the sofa and hugged the picture to her feeling the tears in her eyes. “Greg,” she whispered and bending her head she gave in to the grief and loneliness swamping her!
Chapter 6
He did not see her for a week and he did not call her. He was suffering badly, but he had to stand his ground and show her that she was not that important to him. But he was fooling himself and not doing a very good job of it! He was in love with her and he missed her so much that he could not sleep. Every time his phone rang, he expected it to be her. He had asked his mother casually if she was not supposed to be coming around, and she had told him that Deidre had said she had something to finish up before she started.
He was seated inside his office the Friday before Christmas when his door was pushed open without an invitation. He looked up and the breath backed up inside his throat. Christ! He never believed it possible to love and need someone so much.
“Your secretary was not at her desk,” she said without preamble. She had an agitated look on her beautiful face as she strode in wearing brown leather knee length boots, faded denims and thick black sweater that looked great against her skin. Her hair was loose around her face and she had a scarf around her neck.
“Deidre,” he got to his feet and came around his desk to meet her. “How have you been?”
“How have I been?” she laughed shortly as she stood in front of him. “Let’s see:” she placed a finger against her lips as she pretended to consider. “I have been ignoring the feeling of fatigue for the last few weeks and the fact that I was turned off from my favorite deep-fried chicken. Can you imagine my surprise to find out that I am with child?”
Jeremy stared at her. She was pregnant with his child! He had stopped thinking about it because he had other issues, but now! “You are pregnant?” he whispered.
She moved away from him and started to pace. “This was not the plan!” she walked to the large bay window and looked out at the grey sky feeling in tune with the weather. “I never wanted children until I was in my middle thirties, that was the plan. Concentrate on my career, and then when that is established, I do the mother thing and maybe the wife thing. Now everything is screwed up!”
She sounded genuinely upset and he walked over to her carefully. “You can still do all that. We could get married.” He suggested.
She turned around to face him, an angry expression on her face. “That’s your solution to this mess? Get married?”
“I had no idea that it is a mess.” He said deeply hurt by her callousness.
“Look Jeremy, I know that this is probably a life-defining moment for you, but it is not for me. I don’t want to be pregnant.”
He stood there looking down at her not knowing what to say. She did not want to carry his child. He had never thought it was possible to feel such pain. “What do you want to do?” he asked her wearily.
“I don’t know,” she shoved her hands into her pockets and turned back to look out the window, missing the look of despair on his face. “I need time to think, I just wanted to let you know.” She moved away and took up her coat.
“Where are you going?”
“To do some work.” She told him shortly. “I have to get my mind off my problems for a minute or two.”
“It does not have to be a problem Deidre,” his face was stark and she realized she had hurt him unintentionally.
“I know” her expression softened. “I am sorry Jeremy, but this is not something I want right now.”
She left him standing there in the midst of a despair that threatened to make him crumble. She was carrying his child and this should be the happiest moment in his life, but instead here he was wondering if she was going to get rid of it! He had fallen in love with her with
out even being aware of it and now he felt as if his entire world was crumbling around him.
With a strangled oath, he walked from his office. “Your three o’clock meeting is on his way up Jeremy.” His secretary told him as soon as he came out.
“Cancel it!” he told her sharply. “Is my grandfather in his office?”
“Yes, he just went in.”
He nodded and walked the length of the foyer to the suite of offices his father had occupied and his grandfather had taken over when he died. He pushed the door open and went in. “Jeremy, just the person I wanted to see,” he began jovially. “We need to sign off on the- “
“I am not interested.” He bit out. “She is pregnant grandfather! Are you happy now?”
“Apparently you are not,” Robert said slowly seeing the stark expression on his face.
“She does not want the child.” Jeremy said with a short laugh. “The joke is on me. She strode into my office a few minutes ago and accused me of getting her pregnant and she had no time for a child at this point in her life. She did not want to get married, and she certainly does not want a child. So what do we do now grandfather? You are the expert and you planned all this, so now what?”
“She wants to get rid of it?”
“Were you listening to me just now?” Jeremy’s voice lashed at him and he saw the pain on the young man’s face. “It was just sex for her.” He took a deep breath and sat heavily on one of the sofas in the office. “You got what you wanted. I hope you are happy.”
Robert came and sat beside him wondering if he should reach out and take the boy’s hand. He had not done so since he was a little boy and had skinned his knee when he was playing baseball. “You are in love with her.”
Jeremy opened his mouth to deny it and closed it at the shrewd look on the man’s face. He nodded bleakly looking down at his clasped hands.
Robert wanted to shout for joy in spite of the gravity of the situation. Finally, a Langley breaking the mold! “Son, you are going to have to swallow your pride and go to her.”
“She does not want to see me.”
“You are going to give her a little space and then call her.” He said softly. “I know Deidre, and I know that there is no way she is going to get rid of the child. Give her a little time to cool down and then call her and insist that you be there for every doctor visits. Use your charm on her and she will come around. You love her, so fight for her.”
Jeremy looked up and stared at the man he had considered his enemy for so long. “Were you ever in love?”
“A long time ago,” Robert said with a small smile. “She was young and so was I, and the war happened. I left without telling her anything, and when I came back she was hitched to someone else. I met your grandmother and my parents thought she was suitable to bear the Langley name and we got married.”
“You never loved grandmother,” Jeremy said astutely.
“I respected and admired her, but love was not there for either of us.” He smiled humorlessly. “I wanted better for you. It’s painful to lie with someone you do not love. That’s why I am telling you to fight for her. She will come around.”
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“Not talking about it will not make it magically go away honey and you need to start eating right.” Deborah told her daughter firmly. She had called her to come over after she had heard the news from Robert.
“I had every intention of telling you myself. Robert had no right to tell you.” Deidre said furiously tapping the sofa with her fingers. It had been several days since she had told Jeremy and gave him the impression that she was going to get rid of it, which she should not have done.
“He had every right!” Deborah said firmly wanting to do a jig of happiness. “It’s not the end of the world, Deidre, and I don’t see why you are not over the moon about this.”
“You expect me to be rejoicing because I got knocked up?” she stared at her mother incredulously. She was supposed to be working on Rosalind’s suite, but she did not have the heart to go over there and face the woman whose grandchild she was carrying and pretending that she was happy about it.
“It’s not like he is a married man,” Deborah said impatiently. “The man is handsome and unattached, who also happens to be a billionaire.”
“Money is not the problem, because I can take care of this baby by myself. I am more furious with myself than I am with him. I should have used protection!”
“Then why didn’t you?”
“Because all my life I had been told by my doctors that I have a hormone problem. I have irregular periods as you well know and the possibility of me getting pregnant was very slim. Shows that they do not know a damn thing.” She said with a sigh. “I should sue the lot of them.”
“Honey, you are being irrational. I for one am extremely happy about being a grandmother.” Her eyes sharpened suddenly. “Have you told your sister yet?”
“I am not going to,” Deidre said with a heavy sigh. “Life is such a bitch! She is the one who wants to get pregnant and I am the one who ends up being pregnant.”
“She has no right bringing a child into that hostile environment,” her mother said firmly.
“I hope you did not tell her that.”
“Of course not.” Deborah said with a sigh. “She already hates me enough as it is.”
*********************************
He gave her two weeks and then called her. He had been planning to spend Christmas with her but had heard from his grandfather that she had gone out of town for a week. He was wallowing in misery that she had not seen fit to let him know that she would have been out of town, but he was moving away from that, and he was following his grandfather’s advice to fight for her and his unborn child.
“How are you?” he asked her as soon as she answered.
“Puking in the mornings and in the afternoons but fine just the same.” Her voice was cool and detached and he closed his eyes and breathed out slowly.
“I am sorry to hear that. Deidre, I know this is not something you wanted to happen, but the fact is we are going to be parents together and I want to be a part of that.”
“Can you switch places with me?” she asked him grimly.
“I wish I could,” he told her sincerely. “I wish I could take away all the discomfort that comes with carrying my child.”
She was silent after that. He almost thought she had hung up but he could hear her breathing.
“I want to come to the next doctor’s visit with you.” He continued hoping against hope that she would let him continue talking to her and eventually see her. He missed her so much that he was unable to sleep at nights. He had never suffered so much in his life and he guessed it was his punishment for being so sure of himself before.
“My next appointment will be the fourth of February.” She told him slowly. “Jeremy?”
“Yes, Deidre?”
“Can you come over later?”
Jeremy felt his heart pounding and had to take a deep breath before he could respond. “Of course.” What time?”
“When you leave the office. I am finishing up where I am and going home early. I am feeling a little tired.”
“Want me to bring anything?” he asked her softly, pathetically grateful.
“Some milk and fruits. I did not have time to go shopping.”
“Consider it done. I will see you later.”
He hung up the phone and put his head on the desk, his body trembling. This was a start and he was going to be very careful!
**************************************
“I wanted to tell you before you heard it from someone else.” Deidre told her sister as she took a seat in the elegant living room. She had called and asked her if she was going to be home, and Deena had told her yes even though she had a function to attend later. Deidre had left the house she had been redecorating early and drove straight to her place. Snow covered the grounds and she had made her way carefully among the cobbled drivewa
y and up to the front door.
The maid had brought them tea and Deena poured it into tiny cups like the lady of the manor she was.
“What is it?”
“I am pregnant,” she just came out with it figuring that it was the best thing to do.
The cup clattered on the saucer as her sister stared at her. “How could you possibly be pregnant and you don’t even have a man?”
“I have been seeing Jeremy since last August.” Deidre told her.
“Jeremy Langley?” Deena’s expression was wintry as she stared at her beautiful sister. One more thing to hate her for!
“I am afraid so.” She said with a shrug. “Look, I know you want to have children and I wished it was you because I am not ready to be a mother yet.”
“How right you are!” Deena said furiously. “But everything good always happens to you, right Deidre? Woe is me! I am pregnant for the hot and handsome billionaire and I don’t know what to do with myself.” The words ended in a sneer.
“That’s not fair and you know it.” Deidre felt sorry for the girl as she looked as if she wanted to cry. “It was not something we planned. It just happened and I am trying to adjust to it. I am sorry your life is not working out the way you planned, but you have the power to change that.”
“By divorcing my husband and starting over?” Deena shifted the spoons on the tray agitatedly. “You sound like our mother! But why shouldn’t you? You have always been her favored daughter and I am the disappointment who came from a father she hated!”
“You need to let that go, Deena.” Deidre said wearily putting away the ridiculously tiny cup and feeling ready to leave. “Those thoughts will only harm you in the long run. Mom treated both of us the same way so I don’t see what your problem is.”
“Of course you wouldn’t!” Deena sneered. “You are always the beautiful one, the one with the light complexion and beautiful eyes. The one with the shape and grace and now the one with the billionaire for a baby father!”
