"We wouldn't want you to, either," Marc said, his tone genuine and honest because his words were the truth.
Ryan sighed. "This entire situation is nuts. Right from the beginning, it's been a whole boatload of crazy, and I know I can speak for all of us when I say, categorically, I wouldn't change a damn thing. Having El in our life is more than worth having to deal with so many tons of fucked up." He rubbed his forehead. "Of course, that doesn't mean I don’t also wish things were a little easier. The Pride isn't going to like the fact a Pantera is the First Lady. It's not the first time it's happened, where species have crossed, but never so high up in the ranks."
Marc grunted. "In the end, it might be for the good of us all."
"What are you talking about?" Trip demanded. He took a seat opposite Shawn and propped his head on a weary hand. "Surely not even you can put a positive spin on this?"
"Just try and stop me," Marc teased. Leaning back against the window, the chill of the glass was pleasantly cool against his spine. He folded his arms across his chest, mimicking Ryan's posture, and explained, "Things have always been dicey between the Pantera and us. At least this way, we are united in one thing. They're not going to want to do anything that will put one of their own jeopardy. Am I right?"
Ryan huffed out a breath. "You could be. Things have been tense ever since we snapped up that land from them."
"What land?" Shawn demanded.
Trip wrinkled his nose. "It’s kind of my fault. I bought a property development company that was going cheap because the owners were close to bankruptcy. Because of it, I sneaked a plot of land out from under the Pantera's nose. They had a deal with the original owners, and because I'm a dick, and I dislike the Pantera, I didn't make good on the deal." He shrugged. "To be fair, everyone was in agreement. We used the land to build Feral as the plot was just perfect for our needs. I think they wanted it for a place to run... Plots that good are hard to find. They’ve been pissed ever since."
Shawn scoffed, "Surely that's just business?"
"The Pantera have a funny way of seeing business." Ryan rubbed his chin. "Thankfully, mate bonds are just as sacred to them. Once they realize that El is ours, they should back off."
Marc nodded in agreement. "Because of that, I really think you should go see the Pantera Council first. Upon consideration, I reckon it's not down to us to talk to Joseph, not really. If anyone deserves answers, it’s El. And she has to be the one to pose the questions. Her entire life has been a lie. Right down to the very basics, so she is bound to feel like she is on shaky ground. Us going in there and trying to find out the truth isn't going to do any good at all. If anything, it could piss her off and make her angry with us.
"On top of that, the Pantera Council is going to want to deal with you, Ryan. They're not going to believe anything without your sanction. Plus, they know Trip. They will be pissed he's there, but the fact you brought him along will add weight to your position."
"How do you figure that?" Trip grumbled scornfully.
"Trust your elders," Marc mocked. "But seriously, you wouldn't take Trip along if the situation didn’t hold weight, would you, Ryan? His presence is going to stir up some serious tension, so his being there is like a kind of backhanded olive branch."
"I can see that logic," Shawn admitted.
Trip snorted. "I wonder why that is?" He rolled his eyes. "I’d say you were throwing me to the lions if I weren’t one myself.
“And though it pains me to admit it, Marc does calm her down, and she has known Shawn far longer than she has known any of us."
Ryan grimaced, then nodded. "We'll head out and see them tomorrow."
"We should probably get to bed. It's been a long day, only God knows what tomorrow will bring. I sure as hell never imagined that after today's ceremony we'd find out our mate was a panther shifter." Trip yawned, then got to his feet, and with another grumble, said, "Night." He ambled off without waiting for a response.
Ryan shot Marc a look, then turned his attention to Shawn. What he was looking for, Marc couldn't say, and he also couldn't discern whether Ryan found it. He jerked his chin up at them both and murmured, "Same."
Once the two of them had left for their own quarters, Shawn leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. Bowing his head, he murmured, "I never saw any of this coming."
"You weren't supposed to," Marc tried to comfort. "You were assigned to a human. That was your detail. If her father had wanted you to know, then he would have told you. Instead, he kept El’s heritage a secret."
Shawn shook his head, obviously dazed by the evening’s events. "All this time, I just figured she was a target because of her wealth. Instead, it's because she's Pantera."
Marc sighed. "No, we don't know that. I'm certain she'll always be a target because of her money. Let's face it, that one time the kidnapping was successful, that was about money. If it had been Pantera, they'd have stolen her and kept her with them. No amount of money would have induced them to return her to her family. But I'm also certain that the threats will drop in their number now.
"We’ll know more tomorrow after Ryan speaks with the council. I have a feeling in my bones that her mother is somebody pretty important to somebody on there."
"What makes you say that?"
Marc shrugged. "Instinct? Also, only somebody on the council could sanction an abduction like what Jamie and Enrique had organized. When the Pantera said they'd had nothing to do with the kidnapping attempt, it was obviously bullshit. That doesn't surprise me. Ryan himself said that just because the council had denied any involvement, didn't mean that was the case. Proof can be manufactured and doctored for the right price."
Shawn rubbed his eyes. "For El’s sake, I wish this wasn't so complicated."
"I think you underestimate her strength. And I mean no offence by that," Marc tagged on softly. "Her life has been nothing but complicated. And she's never had a concrete answer or justification as to why she's targeted more than anybody in her family. Sure, she is the richest. Technically. But technically doesn't count. Her money is tied up in trust funds. Other people in the family have far more access to their wealth. She'll know that. And she’ll feel guilty as fuck for wishing that some son of a bitch out there was targeting somebody close to her rather than El herself.
"At least this way, she’ll have a reason. Also, she’ll have a place. I feel like she's never had that before. If Annabel isn't her mother, it's no wonder there's never been any kind of connection between the two of them. If anything, Annabel would never have liked El. She's a cuckoo in the nest."
"I think it's time to go to bed. You're making far too much sense."
Marc snorted. "Get used to it. It happens quite a lot."
“How do we do this?” Shawn asked quietly. “You want to be with her, and I do too.”
“Then we be with her. Never had a slumber party before?”
Shawn froze, stared at him, then ducked his head to hide a snicker. “We fourteen-year-old girls now?”
“This connection between all of us… it’s only sexual where she’s concerned.” He shrugged. “I can see you in the raw, and you don’t have to worry about whether I want to fuck you or not. You can see Ryan fucking El and be turned on. For any of this to work, we all have to be at ease with one another, as well as be comfortable with the knowledge that we’re all going to be fucking El at some point or another.”
Shawn winced. “You aim for the jugular, man.”
“No. I’m just a realist. Embrace the uniqueness of our connection,” Marc advised. “If you don’t, it will probably drive you nuts.”
“Isn’t that like a threesome? If you fuck El and I watch? Or, I guess, vice versa?”
Marc shrugged. “It’s a mate bond. There are no other names for it outside that.”
Shawn pursed his lips. “Has no Triad in history ever fucked one another?”
“Technically, no. They’re not supposed to. But technically, humans aren’t supposed to either, are they? But
they do. We just never have.” He rubbed his chin. “I think Angel and his Triad fuck. Could be wrong though.”
“So, they’re bi?”
Marc rolled his eyes. “Want me to walk through all the different sexualities out there? Look, I can understand why you want to make everything fit in this particular pigeonhole, but you can’t. We’re different. Not just because of what we can do, because that changes us integrally. But in ways humans can’t even begin to comprehend.
“So, if Angel fucks his Triad, to humans that makes him gay. To us, that means he’s just really into his Triad brothers.” He shrugged his lack of concern. “I don’t give a fuck who he fucks as long as he leaves me the hell alone. Before they find their mate, he might fuck both men and women, but when they meet the one, it will become exclusive. No more messing around.”
“With each other too?”
Marc pulled a face. “I highly doubt it. Truth is, I think a lot of mates wish Triads were bi.” His grin was wicked. “It gives them a break after all.”
Shawn snorted, and for the first time felt he could relax a little. Marc was so frank, so at ease with this fucked up situation, and because he wasn’t, dealing with someone who was helped a lot. “Yeah, I can see why they’d like a rest.” He wrinkled his nose. “She’s going to be sore for a while. I can count on one hand how many times she’s had sex this year.”
“You counted?”
At Marc’s bemused look, Shawn just shrugged. “Not intentionally. I just had to vet each guy, and hell, I was in the same apartment when it happened. Not that it did often.”
Marc rubbed his chin. “We probably need to be gentle with her.”
“Might be wise.” Shawn sighed. “I can’t believe I’m talking to you about this and not wincing. That’s definitely a step up from yesterday.”
“Take each day as it comes,” Marc advised with a small smile. “That’s all any of us can do, right?”
Chapter 17
"Persia?"
"Maryellen? Where. The. Hell. Are. You?"
El swallowed thickly. What did she say to that? Persia's concern echoed down the line, filling Ellen with both regret and warmth.
She'd always kept herself apart from other people. Even though she considered some friends, she never let herself become too close to them. Trusting people wasn't something she was capable of doing, because she'd been taught from birth that not even family could be relied upon.
"El?" Persia's voice was a screech. "Are you still with that guy from the dating site?"
Lifting a shaky hand, El covered her eyes. She was crouched on the floor, her back to the side of the bed, her position defensive with her vision aimed at the door.
Not that she had to protect herself from anybody in this house.
Oh no, that lesson she learned as a child, that family couldn't be trusted? Yeah, that lesson had been hammered into her today.
Croakily, she whispered, "I'm fine."
Persia scoffed. "Yeah, you really sound it. Where have you been? I've been worried sick."
"I'm sorry I haven't been answering your calls, and I know I said I would, but things have been just…" They'd been what? Questionable? Impossible? Para-freaking-normal?
"Just tell me you're okay."
"I-I am, but it's just… I have learned some things, and I really don't know what to do about them."
"What kind of things?" In the background, El could hear the busy bustle of the bakery Persia owned. Sheet pans clanked noisily as they were pushed into scorching hot ovens, and a mixer whirred as cupcake creations were magicked up on site.
"I'm sorry, Persia, I should have realized you'd be busy."
Persia snorted. "When aren't I? Look, I'm worried about you, and I know that you have never been all that open and forthcoming regarding certain parts of your life… I've been fine with that because I know your past and your family life is crazy. But you've never been this closed off before. I really mean it when I tell you that I'm worried."
"This is so beyond anything even I'm used to, Persia. I have no idea how to share it all with you. I don't even know if I can. I just, well, needed to hear somebody normal."
Persia's laugh echoed down the line. "Only you could call me normal, and only you could make me feel normal."
Her lips twitched because it was kind of true. Persia was… definitely unusual. "How's everything?"
She sighed. "My parents are arguing over the mortgage on their new place, my sister's heart’s been broken by a jock at her school and I want to kill him, and this place is finally doing more than breaking even. Now, get back on topic. What's going on?"
"It's not all about me, Persia. That isn't how friendship works."
Persia snorted. "You don't have to tell me that, El. I'm not the one in crisis here either, so you're entitled to be a little bit selfish and hog the conversation. So, spill."
There was no way El could share the whole truth with Persia. Mostly because the whole truth was insanity itself, and that was without the whole shifter mate thing. Throw in the fact that El herself had just shifted and it was a whole other kind of fucked up.
Trying to sanities recent events, she settled on, "I got married."
A shocked gasp echoed into her ear. "You got married? To who?"
Though it was a lie, it wasn't in this culture. "To the dating site guy."
"Oh, my, God! Are you insane?"
Ellen grimaced. "Maybe. But marrying Ryan is the best thing I've ever done. But marrying him, well, it’s opened up a can of worms so big, I don't know how to get over it." Silence fell at her statement.
Then came a long sigh. "Why do I feel like that's all you going to tell me?"
El closed her eyes because she wished Persia wasn’t bang on the nose, and licking her lips, she admitted, "I can't." She cleared her throat, and fell back on an excuse that had served her well in the past. "Security, you know?"
Persia hissed. "I knew you were going to say that."
"I'm sorry. I wish I could tell you more."
"If wishes were horses, babe…" She blew out a breath. "I'm not sure how I'm supposed to help you if I don't know what the fuck is going on."
Guilt speared her at the impotence in her friend' s voice. "You've no idea how much it helps that you are just here for me." She broke off to whisper, "Same goes, you know? I promise, if you call, I will answer."
Raised voices appeared in the background, and El frowned at the Spanish curse words as well as the grating noise of something flying into the tiled floors.
"Shit! I'm sorry, El, I have to go. Rico has got a nasty burn. I'll speak to you later, yeah?"
But before El could reply, the line went dead.
El ran a hand through her hair. She hated, and always had, not being able to share things with Persia. Persia was really the only friend El felt that way with. But in the past, things she hadn't been able to share had centered around her safety and the protection detail she had with her at all times. Now?
She had no idea how to go about even rationalizing this situation to herself, never mind to somebody else.
El was well aware that she'd accepted this situation with the Triad so easily because of the pressure cooker environment in which they'd all met. Maybe that wasn't healthy, some might even say that it was wrong, but their opinions didn't matter. They couldn't matter because the rightness of what she felt for her men was something only somebody in her shoes could understand.
It seemed like the time she’d had with her men had been nothing but a rollercoaster. She feared that they'd yet to reach the highest peak of the ride though.
Just putting the uneasy feelings she had into thought trebled her concern.
Lifting her knees against her chest, she pressed her forehead into the bony joints.
The door opened, but she didn't bother looking up. "El?"
Shawn.
"Baby?" Marc.
The breath she blew out rebounded on her face, bathing her in its clammy warmth. "Yeah?"
O
ne of them crouched down beside her, pressed his hand to the back of her head, and gently stroked her there. "Are you going to look at us? We want to see your beautiful eyes, baby."
"Now we know why they're beautiful," she scoffed. Gulping, she whispered, "What am I?"
Her other male crouched down to her left. He ran a hand up and down her calf, trying to soothe her. "A panther," he confessed.
Of course, she thought almost ruefully. A panther.
Jesus. Could nothing be simple?
The breath she sucked in, even to her own ears, sounded panicked. That was probably because of the hyperventilating she was about to do.
Yet again, she was a cuckoo in the nest.
"Well," she whispered, "at least this explains why my mother hates me. She isn't my mother." There wasn’t a doubt in her mind that she was her father’s child. Her grandfather would never have let a stranger inherit the family wealth, and Annabel would have simply had an abortion if she’d found herself pregnant from an affair knowing that Joseph would never accept another man’s child in the house.
Shawn let out a hiss. "With any other woman, I'd say that wouldn't matter. But she hasn't been a mother to you. So, it isn't bad news, El, that she isn't your mother."
"Fucking hell, Shawn," Marc spat. "Remind me not to give you any diplomatic jobs."
Though his words had been like a spear to the gut, that was only because Shawn was right. Her bitch of a mother could no longer be labeled that. Bitch would now suffice.
Lifting her head, she peered at her men with watery eyes. The crazy thing was, now she knew she was a panther – what had they called them? Pantera? – what scared her more than anything, even more than the realization that she could turn into a fucking cat, was the fact they might not want her any more. A notion that was given power because of Trip and Ryan's absence.
Her mouth trembled as she whispered, "Do they not want me anymore?"
Marc let out a sharp gasp, and immediately swiped his head to the left in rejection of her question. He squeezed her calf and gritted out, "You are our mate. Nothing, and I mean nothing, changes that. Do you understand me? I have been searching for you for a hundred years. Waiting… And you think that this news puts our bond in jeopardy?" He shook his head. "You're crazy."
Finding Luna: A Lion Shifter Reverse Harem Romance (PRIDE Book 1) Page 24
