It wasn’t like I was going to leave the appointment anyway. I was just uncomfortable with the idea of my man’s ex being close colleagues with the woman who was supposed to be helping bring my baby healthily into the world. But Ashley had raved about this woman, and so had the reviews I’d seen of her online. She was knowledgeable, she was discreet, and she dealt with high-risk pregnancies. Even though my pregnancy hadn’t been classified as such, it made me feel better knowing it was something she could handle.
I would just have to push my concerns about Lena to the side.
Five minutes later, Lena was the last thing on my mind.
Dr. Cho listened intently as I detailed my years of trying and failing to get pregnant, the two miscarriages, and my fears now. She took blood, and did a pelvic exam, gave me a whole spiel about raw meat, and soft cheese, and being careful about where I traveled. All things that were familiar – too familiar – and did nothing to lower my anxiety.
And then… the ultrasound.
Naima brushed off my insistence on recording with both cell phones so that one of her hands was free to hold mine, and I was grateful. My stomach twisted in knots as Dr. Cho inserted the ultrasound wand, and a few seconds later, my uterus was in black and white on the screen in front of me.
Inside that gray mass was a black one, and inside that black one was… a baby. Of course, right now, it looked like a gummy bear with a really big head, but… it was a baby.
“Let’s get some sound going here, shall we?” Dr. Cho asked, and a few seconds later, the room filled a loud, whooshing sort of noise. She made a slight adjustment to the position of the wand, and then there it was… the strong, steady thump of the heartbeat.
I was greatly unprepared for the apparently new technology that put a soundwave image on the screen, tracking the heartbeat. As soon as it started up, something in me… snapped. I put my hands over my face, and broke into sobs that I couldn’t articulate a reason for.
Luckily, Naima and Dr. Cho let me have that moment.
It lasted maybe a minute or so, and then I was okay. Just okay.
“Wil, it looks to me like you’re about nine weeks into the gestational period. Does that sound right to you?”
I cleared my throat, and nodded. “Yes. Exactly right.”
“Very good. Everything looks okay here, and we have a nice strong heartbeat for nine weeks, about 182 beats per minute, which is a good number. I don’t see anything here to be concerned about, but I want you to not be afraid to call me, okay? Don’t be worried you’re bugging me, or anything like that. If something feels wrong, go with your gut, but again… I think you’re well on your way to a healthy pregnancy.”
A bit after that, she left for me to get dressed. Naima must have noticed that I wasn’t saying enough – or very much at all – because she caught me by the shoulders to look me in the eyes.
“Willy… are you okay?” she asked. “How are you feeling? I thought you would be… I don’t know. More excited about this.”
I pushed out a sigh. “I really am happy, it’s just… Mimi, you know I love you a lot, right?”
“Uh… right…” she said, raising an eyebrow. “But…?”
“But… all this did was make me even more scared, honestly. Now that I’ve seen it, heard the heartbeat… I can’t deal. All I can think about is “what if?”, and I really, really want Ramsey here,” I said, just before I broke into a fresh round of sobs.
“Aww, sweetie…”
I was so grateful to Naima for the way she wrapped me into a hug, rubbing my back as I cried. Dr. Cho came back in to give me a little tote bag full of information, prenatal vitamins, and printouts from the ultrasound, and as soon as I’d pulled myself together enough to leave, we got out of there.
I was ready to get home, and curl up in my bed.
I tried not to read too much into the fact that she wasn’t answering her phone. But I’d been waiting to hear about the doctor’s appointment for the whole flight, wanting to know every detail, good or bad. So once I was finally alone, just me and my security, the first thing I did was make that phone call.
And then at least ten more, because she wasn’t answering.
I bounced on the balls of my feet, impatient, waiting for her to open her front door, if she was home. Not answering calls meant showing up to her place, and if she didn’t answer here, I was going to her parents, then her cousin, but somebody was going to point me in the right direction.
Turns out I didn’t have to go anywhere.
Her cousin, Naima, opened the door.
“Ramsey, hey! How was your flight?” she asked, totally casual as she stepped aside for me to come in.
“It was cool. Where is Wil? She’s not answering her phone…”
“Sleeping,” Naima explained, gesturing upstairs, where the bedrooms were. “It’s been a bit of an emotional day for her.”
My eyes went wide. “What? What happened? Is everything okay?”
Naima shook her head. “I’m not going into any details or anything, I’ll let her tell you all of that, but the baby is fine.”
I pushed out a heavy sigh of relief, and Naima smiled.
“Now that you’re here, I’m going to head out. I just didn’t want her to be alone, and if I’d told my aunt and uncle she was having a rough time, they would have turned it into a big deal. So I figured it was best to just wait on you.”
“Thank you,” I told her, and she nodded.
“You’re welcome. Not a problem at all.” She had her purse and cell phone in her hands, but instead of saying goodbye, or moving to leave, she hesitated, giving me this strange look for a few awkward seconds before she spoke again. “Actually… there’s something I’ve been wanting to say to you.”
“Should I be scared?”
“No,” she laughed. “It’s just… thank you,” she started, a statement that lifted my eyebrows. “Wil is… that’s my heart, you know? Like a sister to me. And seeing your relationship grow from honest-to-God friends to more than that… I like what it’s done for her. I watched her whole relationship unfold with Darius, and it’s crazy to me how different this looks. In a good way. I know it’s probably a little hard to see it, with everything that’s been going on, but you’ve really brought out this light in her, that I don’t think I’ve ever seen before. And I appreciate it.”
I shook my head. “Thank you for that, but I can’t take credit. Wil has been a great friend, supportive, a good listener, a motivator, a muse… all of that. Without her being who she is, I don’t know that I’d be able to be that person for her, so… that’s all her.”
Naima’s lips parted a little, and then she narrowed her eyes. “See?” she said, wagging a finger in my direction. “This is the kind of thing – you – are the kind of man that makes it make sense that women even like men at all,” she laughed. “Many of your brethren are wild garbage, but you, my brother… You’re alright.”
I frowned, feigning offense. “Just alright? Damn, it’s like that Mimi?”
“Who told you that you could call me Mimi?” she asked, propping her hands on her hips.
I lifted my hands. “My bad. Naima.”
“Oh bye, I’m playing with you fool,” she giggled, then laughed harder when I pulled her into a hug. “I know I don’t have to tell you to take care of my girl, but… take care of my girl.”
With two fingers, I gave her a little salute. “That’s absolutely the plan.”
She headed out, and I headed upstairs, finding Wil in the middle of her bed, curled into a ball underneath the covers. Instead of immediately waking her, I jumped in the shower, then grabbed a pair of my basketball shorts from a previous visit from her clean laundry.
Carefully, I lifted the covers back, smiling when I saw that she’d fallen asleep with her hand pressed to her stomach. I crawled in with her, getting close enough to see her peaceful face, then as lightly as I could, ran a finger from her forehead to the tip of her nose.
She frowned a littl
e, shifting position before she settled again. I repeated my same action, and this time she mumbled something under her breath before her eyelids parted. For a moment, she squinted at me, probably still half-asleep. I could tell the exact moment awareness and recognition hit her, with widened eyes and a smile I felt all the way in the depths of my chest.
“Hey,” she whispered, scooting closer to me. “You made it back.”
I cupped the back of her head, bringing her in to kiss her forehead. “Yeah. Heard you’ve had a rough day.”
“A little bit. Better now that you’re here.”
I grinned.
Damn this woman knows how to make me feel good.
“Ditto, Champ. Tell me how the appointment went?”
“Grab that bag,” she said, pointing to her dresser. I climbed out to get it and then came back as she sat up, motioning for me to hand it to her.
As I sat down beside her, mimicking her position with the headboard against my back, she dug into the bag, then handed me several thin, glossy pages. She turned them right side up in my hands, and then pointed at the photo.
“This is our baby.”
Wow.
I hadn’t expected it to look so… real. I listened intently, seeing it immediately as she pointed out what would become arms and legs. “It looks like a gummy bear with a big ass head,” I chuckled, and her whole demeanor shifted as she turned her head to stare at me, instead of the pictures. “I’m sure it’s going to grow into it though,” I added, trying to clean it up. But then another smile took over her face, and she shook her head.
“No, I see it too,” she said, her eyes shining as she looked at me. “Oooh, here!” She reached beside her, for her cell phone, then frowned at the screen. “Oh damn,” she murmured, then glanced up, looking sheepish. “It’s on silent. I didn’t know you’d been trying to call, sorry.”
I waved her off. “It’s fine. I know you’re okay now, which is what mattered. What were you going to show me?”
“This.” She tapped the screen a few times on her phone, and then handed it to me as a video began to play on the screen. She reached around me to turn the volume up, filling the room with a trippy thumping sound.
My eyebrows went up. “Is that… that’s the heartbeat, right?”
She nodded. “Yeah. That’s the heartbeat.”
I couldn’t help smiling as I continued listening, but then a different sound – the sound of Wil sobbing – permeated through the phone, and real-life Wil quickly snatched the phone away, to shut it off.
“Hold up,” I said, trying to get it back from her. “What was that?”
“Nothing,” she insisted, tucking the phone behind her. “I just… got a little emotional. Hearing the heartbeat, and actually seeing it, after having tried so long before. It was moving. I really wished you were there.”
“Ah, babe.” I pulled her into my arms, and she snuggled in close. “I really wish I could’ve been.”
“It’s okay. You had a game, you can’t help that. It’s not your fault your flight got delayed coming back. Gotta do what you gotta do.”
I know she meant for those words to be comforting, but instead, they hit me with a disconcerting sense of déjà vu, reminding me way too much of when my mother would say the same thing when I missed a doctor’s appointment with her. And maybe that’s why missing Wil’s appointment bothered me so much – it was too reminiscent of the reason’s I’d left football in the first damned place.
“What’s wrong?” Wil asked, making me realize that my uneasiness must have been showing on my face.
Quickly, I schooled my expression into something neutral, but the damage was done. Even when I responded with “Nothing”, Wil’s expression was still uncertain.
“Are you sure? You’re not having second thoughts are you? Because—”
“No,” I said, grabbing her hand. “I am not having second thoughts. Just… hoping that I don’t let you down. Hoping that I’m not letting you down.”
She scoffed. “I’m not even sure you’re capable of such of thing,” she said, sitting up, and then moving to straddle my lap.
“I’m glad to hear you have that kind of faith in me,” I told her, resting my hands on her hips as she draped her arms over my shoulders.
“Only because you’ve earned it.” She leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to my lips before she sat back. “We’re due in April. I’m nine weeks along right now.”
My eyebrows lifted. “Damn, really?”
“Yep. It doesn’t even seem like Bali was that long ago, does it?”
“Not at all,” I said, shaking my head. “Bali was amazing though.”
“Wasn’t it?” She moaned a little as she leaned in again, this time resting her head on my shoulder. “Had to be, if we went down there and made a baby.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I would imagine so.”
For a while after that, we just sat in comfortable silence before she lifted her head to look at me.
“Hey, so…” she started, then hesitated for a second. “My parents want us to come to their house. For like a cookout thing.”
I frowned. “Okay… but why do you sound nervous about it?”
“Because… what was actually said was, “Bring that nigga over here, since he suddenly forgot the address. I need to talk to him.” Or… something like that.”
“Oh, damn.”
She nodded. “Right, damn.”
I chuckled a little. “Okay, well… I guess I can’t really refuse an invitation like that. When are we supposed to go?”
“This week. Since you guys have a home game. Yeah – he checked the schedule.”
“He must really have something on his mind,” I laughed. “But that’s cool, set it up. I’m sure it’s a “what are your intentions with my daughter” kind of thing, which I can handle.”
She raised an eyebrow. “You sound mighty confident about that… like you know what your intentions are.”
“Do you really want to have that conversation, Champ?” I asked teasingly, already knowing the answer. “Because we can definitely have that conversation.”
“No, I’m good,” she laughed. “Keep it. I’m perfectly content to let you and Jackie Cunningham have your sexist conversation among yourselves.”
“Oh, it’s like that?”
“It’s absolutely like that,” she said, giggling. But then she cupped a hand over her mouth, and suddenly launched herself out of my lap, bolting to the bathroom. She closed the door behind her, but I cringed as the sound of her retching carried into the bedroom anyway.
At the bathroom door, I knocked and then waited for her to respond. A few seconds later, the toilet flushed, and then the door swung open. The look on her face before she went to the sink and turned it on made my chest hurt.
“I’m sorry you’re feeling bad, babe,” I said, stepping up to rub her back as she rinsed her mouth out.
Once she was done, she shook her head as she turned to face me. “Don’t be. I will gladly pay this price to have our baby.”
“Damn.” I wrapped my arms around her waist, pushing her back against the vanity. “If you weren’t already pregnant…”
She smirked. “Yeah, but… we could definitely practice for next time… after you go grab me some wings or something. I’m starving.”
“Come on back here to the grill.”
I followed Jack out of the back door, leaving Wil in the kitchen with her mother in favor of facing whatever it was he wanted to talk to me about head on. I’d been expecting this conversation since the whole picture scandal, and had been dreading it since the discovery of Wil’s pregnancy.
Wil’s parents liked me – I was sure about that. And on more occasion than one, especially after she and Darius broke up, they hadn’t made it a secret that they would like to see us together. But with that said… it was a little different now, with me being the man the whole world quite possibly saw getting their daughter pregnant.
Their reception of me lately had been
cordial, sure, but not quite as warm as usual. And though I’d been legitimately busy for the last two and a half months, it was time to stop putting it off.
The conversation was going to have to happen sooner or later.
“What you know about that, young man?” Jack asked me, lifting the cover on the grill to show off two slabs of ribs on one level, and countless chicken wings on the other.
I whistled. “Man, looking good. Smelling good too,” I told him, and nodded.
“You going to be able to eat? Or do they have you on a restricted diet?”
I grinned. “Protein is always on the menu, so I don’t see a problem.”
“There you go,” he said, clapping me on the shoulder. “That needs a few more minutes though. Come on out here, let me show you around Carla’s garden.”
Although I wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d taken me around the deck to show me a shallow grave he’d dug for me, as an attempted intimidation tactic, he did lead me to a large, neatly cultivated garden. Stopping in front of several huge tomato plants, he turned to me, crossing his arms.
“So… gonna be a father, huh?”
Squinting my eyes against the glare of the late summer sun, I nodded. “God willing.”
“That’s always the determining factor there, isn’t it?” he asked, then turned his gaze out toward the garden. “Learn from it. Grow closer to him. Even when it hurts, it always comes down to that. That’s a valuable lesson to remember – especially when it comes to the people you love. You want to protect, and shield, and intervene… even when you’re supposed to be letting them do their learning, their growing, their hurting.”
I mimicked his stance, turning out to the garden. “Is that what happened with the show?” I asked, remembering something that, even though she hadn’t mentioned it in a while, Wil had been bothered by. “You wanted to protect her from the chance of failure, or rejection?”
Determining Possession (Connecticut Kings Book 3) Page 27
