Recovering from the surprise but most pleasant embrace, Jeremy calmly explained that he and Austin rescued what was left of her belongings back east and then left them here in St. Louis for safekeeping. Jeremy realized that Martha was embarrassed and he tried to put her at ease. He discussed the trunk and apologized for the lack of contents but Martha was happy with what she had. She knelt once again beside the trunk hugging the silky fabric of the dress to her chest. She rubbed the silk against her cheek, inhaling the familiar scent of roses. This was the first time she had felt any happiness in almost a year and she wanted to prolong this moment as long as she could. Embarrassed but glowing, she savored the wonder of the lost trunk and secretly, the warm excitement growing in her chest. Furtively, eyes closed she relived the feeling of the gentle embrace. Jeremy stood aside allowing her time with her things; he could still feel the softness of her lips on his. A great heat was growing in his loins. He turned away from her.
Jeremy and Martha took the trunk up to her room where Ezekiel squealed with delight when he saw all of the books. “Oh Mama, look at all the books,” he cried, pulling books one after another out of the trunk, unaware of what he had just said. Martha however was very aware that this wonderful little boy had just called her Mama. Eyes watering for the second time in one day, overflowing with love, she hugged the small boy to her breast. Tears of joy ran down her face as she began to realize that there was so much to be thankful for. I will never have to ignore you again my son. I will fill your life with love and affection. Ezekiel's tiny arms hugged her tightly; overjoyed at the wonderful gift she had just given him. After that day, Ezekiel called her Mama and Abraham soon followed.
That evening Austin presented Loretta Langley to his dearest friend, Martha Whittaker. Jeremy watched the exchange with mounting interest. Martha, the slim, lovely brunette clad in her recently recovered, resized bright blue gown and the fashionably dressed blond, curvaceous Loretta in red, eyed each other cautiously. They were most polite in their conversation. Strategic questions were asked and each woman discovered what she wanted to know about the other. Austin and Jeremy sat back and enjoyed their brandy, cigars and the most entertaining interaction between the two beauties. After a few hours, the atmosphere was much more relaxed as each woman found her own place in the scenario. Loretta found Martha to be strong, beautiful and confident. She was impressed with how knowledgeable and mature Martha seemed. Martha, who was only two years older than Loretta, thought that the pert and talkative young Miss Langley was charming, likeable and very sincere. She also realized that Loretta was in love with Austin. Jealousy was not an emotion she felt she deserved to feel with Austin, however they had been inseparable most of their lives and she loved him deeply. After seeing Austin and Loretta together, Martha knew that Austin had made his choice of a lifetime companion and it was not she. She also knew that in spite of herself, her own feelings for Jeremy were growing by the day and was unsure what, if anything would happen between them.
As she lay in her bed that night she pondered the past year. She smiled at her beautiful blue dress hanging on the back of the door. Life was so confusing now. She was finally free of Jebediah but now she had the boys to care for. Am I up to the challenge? She doubted her own competence. Was Isaac really changing for the better or was there more to it? He seemed so different than the boy she had come to know in Wyoming. She was being returned to England, but did she want to go home to her father? Can I ever forgive him? Where did Jeremy fit into her future? Was she so vulnerable to a kind word? She could not put the kiss out of her mind. Could she hope he cared for her and could she trust him? She could not forget that he was Jebediah's brother and although he had been nothing but kind and considerate of her, she knew the Whittakers had a way of fooling people. Jebediah certainly had done a good job of convincing the homesteaders that he was worthy of their respect and loyalty. Only time will tell what Jeremy's true character is. Austin, her love had traveled all this way to save her and now he was in love with someone else. How long will it be before I can recover from those long arduous months with Jebediah, if ever? Who exactly is Martha McGuire Whittaker? The fear of her own survival had been replaced with emotional turmoil and an unknown future. It seemed that peace and tranquility were too much to ask for.
Austin too was feeling confused. Martha had been the only love of his life and now he was feeling such desire for Loretta. Was it just physical? Was it Martha that he should be planning a future with? Jeremy and Martha seemed to be getting closer and maybe Jeremy was Martha's destiny. His own feelings for Loretta seemed very strong and he was much happier now that he was with her again. Would she be willing to leave St. Louis and travel to England? His mind was muddled as Austin tossed and turned in his hotel bed, just down the street from the totally in love, Loretta Langley.
Isaac knocked on Austin's door, early the next morning. “Can I talk with you Mr. Wells? I need to ask you some questions about our travel plans.” Austin was very impressed with Isaac, who appeared much older than his eleven years. With all he had been through in those few years, it was not a wonder that he was more adult than child.
“Of course, I'm just having some tea would you like some? Come in and sit down and please, call me Austin.” Austin poured Isaac a cup of tea and the two sat at the small round table, beside the hotel window comfortable in each other's company.
“What is on your mind Isaac? I suppose this entire situation has you confused and bewildered. I know it does me for reasons of my own.”
“I don't know if I want to go back to England, Mr.. .er’, Austin. I like it here. The hunting, the horses and this is the most beautiful land I have ever seen. I remember England is nice and green but this is something else, so wild and unchartered. Of course, I won't have much choice because Martha is responsible for us and I'm too young to stay alone. I really don't want to go back to England, Austin.” Obviously troubled, Isaac sipped his tea and with furled brow, stared out the window.
“Isaac, we are all in a transition period. None of us knows the future, least of all Martha. I suggest that you return to England and then in a few years you could return to the Americas and live however you want. Martha will need help with your brothers and you are the man of the house now. I know that you and Martha have not been close but give her a chance Isaac. She is a kind and loving woman and she truly cares about you and your brothers. She has had a very rough time this past year and she needs time to recover. I believe that England is the best place for her to do that. You're an amazing young man Isaac and I know that you could be a big help to her.” Austin was most sincere in his assessment of Isaac, who seemed to respect Austin immensely. Isaac seemed to ponder the situation for a few minutes before speaking.
“Thanks Austin, you're so easy to talk to. I'll think about what you said. Could we go hunting anywhere around St. Louis?” Isaac seemed more relaxed and talking of hunting always brought a smile to his eyes if not his lips.
“I'll arrange it and let you know later today, I would ask Uncle Jeremy to join us but just between you and me, he is a rotten shot.” Austin laughed and escorted Isaac to the door. Later that day he discussed his conversation with Jeremy and expressed his thoughts that Isaac deserved some happiness in his life. Uninvited, Jeremy did not go hunting with the pair but he did think about what Austin had said. Earlier, Martha had expressed a hesitation about returning to England and her father. Jeremy had made several good business deals here in St. Louis and was considering opening an office and hiring a manager. Perhaps none of them should go back to England.
Chapter Sixteen- St. Louis
Martha found St. Louis to be quite a change from Wyoming. A bustling city with a theatre, opera, department stores and beautiful homes, it was a welcome sight for her. She was feeling totally confused about her future. The trials and tribulations of the previous year and a half were finally over. Jebediah was dead. It was very disturbing to learn that he had killed Alicia. Martha wondered when he planned to kill her because she
was certain that he would have. She would never forget the horrors Jebediah subjected her to and now that it was over, what should she do? She was responsible for the boys, although she had some money, it would not last forever. She was unsure about England and what she would do there. Women were very limited and could not have professions. The lower classes performed cleaning, sewing and outdoor tasks but the women of society simply entertained themselves with parties, teas and their children. An altered Martha was used to doing her own chores now and didn't really think she could return to the shallow, pampered life of England's aristocracy. She definitely was not ready to rely on her father's financial support. How far she had come. Only little over a year ago, her life was one of parties, dresses and carefree days. It all seemed so long ago and now it seemed so shallow and irresponsible. She thought about her friends in Wyoming, struggling to feed their families and make a life in the unsettled west. Those women were strong and courageous. She admired them a great deal and vowed to do something with her life. Martha knew she would never return to Wyoming and the life of a settler but she could make something of herself here in St. Louis. She must push this lack of confidence aside and convince herself to try something new. Filled with a new optimism and determination, she set out to explore the city and its possibilities.
The boys were finding many interesting things in St. Louis. “I don't think this place is so bad Abraham. There are lots of surrounding woods full of wild life and this river has lots of different fish. Me and Austin are going fishing this afternoon.” Isaac threw a rock into the Mississippi.
Abraham had already visited the stables and blacksmiths and realized that although this was a city, animals were still a big part of the community. “You should see all the horses in the stables outside of town. Mr. Langley keeps some of his wagons and horses corralled just behind the blacksmith shop.” Abraham enjoyed talking with this new and more open Isaac. He picked up a rock and threw it, watching the water splash as it skipped the surface.
Ezekiel found the library and when he entered he was in awe. Thousands of books on hundreds of shelves filled the space. The building was large and spacious with comfortable tables and chairs for reading. The oiled wooden walls shone, heavy fabric drapes hung over the tall windows. Several people searched the shelves for books. Some sat at the long tables with pen and paper in hand researching some project or another. This was heaven to a boy with only three dog-eared books and an insatiable appetite for knowledge.
Martha and Loretta got better acquainted and became close friends. They shopped together and Martha was rebuilding her wardrobe with fabrics purchased in the large department stores. The new clothes supported her in her inner battle against fear and failure.
“The retail shopping center is at the upper end of Fourth Street near Washington Avenue. We have Scruggs and the Barr Dry Goods Company and I'm sure you can get some fine fabrics there.” Loretta told Martha. “Afterwards we can stop at the hotel for lunch and then more shops.” Martha was happy to have such a good friend and confidante. She was beginning to feel much better and was enjoying the shopping and city life very much. Traces of her old confidence were returning but now peppered with a maturity and determination she had never known in England.
Jeremy investigated property in St. Louis and considered buying a large building for his business. Even if he decided to return to India, this would be an excellent place for a branch office. His brother was dead and Jeremy felt some responsibility for his nephews. Any money that was left in England by Jebediah would by law, go to he and the boys and not Martha. Jeremy would see that the money was put in trust for the boys and some of it was sent to St. Louis to help Martha get settled. Knowing Jebediah as he did, Jeremy was sure there would be a sizable amount of money to deal with. He was concerned about the way the boys had just stopped talking about their father. He knew that Jebediah had beaten the boys as a form of discipline, however he found it odd that they chose not to mention him at all. Perhaps they were aware of Martha's feelings and wanted to spare her or perhaps they simply didn't want to deal with it. Jeremy's feelings for Martha were confusing. He was very attracted to her and would like to get to know her better, often reminiscing over their kiss in the hotel. Jeremy could sense reluctance on her part. His brother had beaten her down physically and mentally, leaving her full of mistrust. He understood that Martha would need time to heal. He would have to win her trust and see where their relationship would lead. In the meantime, Jeremy looked at property and arranged for shipments to and from India.
Austin was a big help to him and decided to stay in St. Louis as well. Of course, his motives revolved around Loretta Langley. Her parents were very impressed with Austin and were hoping for a wedding in the near future. Austin felt a responsibility for Martha and wanted to be sure she was settled and the boys were taken care of. Austin tried to spend time with Isaac whenever possible. He felt sorry for the quiet solitary boy and since Isaac seemed to enjoy his company, Austin spent as much time as he could with him. The incident in the church was never mentioned and neither was Jebediah. It was as if he had never existed. Austin also noticed that Jeremy seemed to be very enamored with Martha and was hoping for a development in that relationship. Austin wanted Martha to be loved and happy the way he felt with Loretta. She had suffered over the past year and deserved some happiness, but she was also very stubborn and would have to make her own choices. Austin had watched her grow from a child to a woman and even he would never try to change her mind or influence her in any of her decisions.
“You really should come to the country club, Martha. Mother would be happy to introduce you to several eligible bachelors. Unless of course, a certain brother-in-law has your eye these days.” Loretta teased over lunch. She, like Austin, wanted to see Martha and Jeremy together. Martha had confided in her about Wyoming and life with Jebediah and Loretta wanted her to find some happiness as soon as possible.
“I honestly don't want to be involved with any man right now Loretta. Jebediah was enough to last me a lifetime. That man ruined any hopes I have of a loving relationship and I really don't know if I could bear to have anyone touch me that way, ever again. Besides men have shown their true colors to me over the last year. First my father, then Jebediah, then the man on the ship, Richard; not one of them can be trusted.” Martha shuddered at the thought of her time with Jebediah. “I'm very grateful to Jeremy for helping to rescue me but I'm not ready to have a relationship, let alone marry anyone.” Her hand moved to smooth her hair, now softer and more alive under her touch. The softness helped to calm and reassure her.
“You will feel differently in time I'm sure. My father always says that life has a way of making us forget the bad and only remember the good. There are a lot of good, trustworthy, gentlemen in this world. I know one of them is just for you.” Loretta picked up her menu. “Now about that lunch.” She decided to order the fresh fish.
“Actually, Loretta I'm thinking about starting a business of some kind. Do you think I could do it? I want to be independent and self-reliant. What do you think St. Louis society would think about a woman owning a business?” The waiter arrived and took their order smiling at the two lovely women before him. Loretta smiled at him before continuing.
“Now that is a nice looking young man. Perhaps he would like to escort you around town.” Sensing Martha's embarrassment at her teasing she changed the subject once again. “Lots of women have businesses here. A widow owns the boarding house and two sisters own the Walnut Street Tearoom. A woman even owns the bakery; but her husband is the baker because they have ten children and she is busy with them. Women are less restricted here than in England, Martha and I'm sure you could come up with something. St. Louis is growing all the time. You are very smart. You could be a tutor or even a teacher, to the wealthy children if you wanted.”
“I'll look around the city and make a decision. Thank you for all of this information and all of your support Loretta. You are becoming such a dear friend to me.”
Martha reached over and squeezed Loretta's hand. “I'm happy for you and Austin. He is my best friend in all the world and I'm glad he has found you.” Loretta returned the squeeze and smiled at her friend. “My next plan of action is to find a house. I never thought I would hear myself say this but I'm tired of living in the hotel and it's too hard on the boys. Tomorrow we'll go and look at houses; if you are free I would like you to come with us.” The waiter returned with their lunch. Martha blushed, remembering Loretta's earlier comment. Loretta giggled. Martha tasted her fish, relishing the delicious sauce that covered it. “You can not know how nice it is to sit in a restaurant once again. This is delicious.”
“Enjoy yourself, you don't have to pick up the boys at the stables for another two hours. Are the boys coming with us tomorrow?”
“I want the boys to help with the choices because it will be their home as well. They have been through enough in their young lives. I intend to make them very secure and happy here with me. I just pray that I can do it. Perhaps we can all forget Wyoming.”
“Oh, I know just the place. The new homes in Lucas Place are very lovely and spacious. They are so modern with indoor plumbing and wonderful yards. You will love them.” Loretta excitedly told Martha of the new residential area being developed in St. Louis for the upper classes. The two women ate, chatted and wiled away the afternoon.
Bright and early the next morning they headed for Lucas Place.
“I like this one the best.” Ezekiel proclaimed as he plopped exhausted, on the steps of the newly built house.
Dreams and Nightmares Page 16
