“You can’t walk all that way!” I protested.
“My car’s at HQ,” Kirby said. “I can go get it if you want. It won’t take me long.”
“Thanks, Kirby. Daley and I will meet you at the entrance to the park across the street.”
“Sure.” She hovered for a second, then shrugged again and went out the door behind Summer and Trace, who were whispering and laughing. Probably about Adam and me, but I could hardly care about what they were saying. I had enough to deal with, with the “Adam and me” part.
Adam didn’t say anything until we’d left the restaurant and crossed to the small park. I started for a bench, but he head-motioned down a brick path, instead.
“I need to move a bit,” he explained at my stern expression.
I gave in. He knew his own limitations, and he had been stationary for a few days. We moved slowly along the path, and for a moment I absorbed the sunshine and fresh air while I watched carefully for anything that would trip him up or catch a crutch.
“What did you think of Auberginois?” Adam asked.
“Personally, or empathically?”
He glanced out the corner of his eye. “Is there a difference?”
“Sure.”
“Then both.”
He negotiated the slightly uneven bricks without difficulty, so I stopped scrutinizing the ground and started absentmindedly scanning the other patrons of the park.
“Empathically, he was interesting.” I told him of the emotions I’d detected. “The relief couldn’t have been about me,” I concluded, “because if it was, I wouldn’t have seen it.”
“It could have been that he was trying to hide something from you and his relief was related to a third party who wanted that hidden.”
I shook my head. “That’s just too convoluted.”
“Humans are.”
“Personally, I’m okay with him. He was charming and professional and handled your concerns well.”
Adam snorted. “You mean my arrogance. You’re right, though, he did meet me head on. Didn’t take offense at my attacks.”
“What did Kirby find on him? That last page you didn’t get to tell us about?”
He stopped and squinted at the traffic on the far side of the park. “His brother was a superhero.”
“Was?”
“He worked in Chicago. He was one of the ones who died.”
My mouth fell open. “Then why doesn’t he want to rebuild Chicago?” I frowned as I thought about the conversation in the restaurant. He’d implied that he was, but hadn’t flat out stated it. “And why didn’t you ask him about his brother?”
He shrugged and turned back to the entrance where Kirby was picking us up. “Instinct. The guy had a different name. I’m thinking he doesn’t expect us to make the connection. As for why he picked us, it could be just like he said. Maybe he is helping the others.”
“Tulie would know if he was.”
“Maybe. His fiancée’s death hit him hard, though. If Auberginois offered, I’m not sure he would have accepted.”
We were almost to the gate now, and I took a deep breath. We were almost out of time. Maybe Adam wasn’t going to bring up the building collapse, to tell me what he couldn’t say in the hospital. But then he stopped again and turned to face me. My throat tightened, and I tried to gasp for breath that wouldn’t come.
“I know you’re thinking about leaving HQ.”
My throat relaxed, but the rest of me tensed. “I’m not.”
He raised an eyebrow.
“Okay, I was. I thought I’d be more liability than help. But I’m not. Leaving, that is. I’m still a liability.”
I had no sense of Adam’s emotions, but his eyes darkened and I swore they swirled with something—anger, maybe, or something even more powerful.
But his voice was mild when he said, “How do you figure that?”
I had to look away. My hands busied themselves tucking in a loose bit of sheepskin on his crutch support.
“My power isn’t physical. I’m more vulnerable than the rest of you, and an enemy may know that. They could target me or use me to compromise the group.”
Adam didn’t insult me by denying it. He nodded thoughtfully instead and waited for me to continue.
“I didn’t think I contribute enough to HQ to be worth the risk.”
His jaw flexed, like he was trying not to say anything.
“But I thought about it some more, and while I may be a liability, I’m not nothing. So I’m staying. Unless you want me to leave,” I added, unnerved by his silence and the possibility that that might be where he was going with this.
But he shook his head. “We all have vulnerabilities, Daley. None of us is indestructible. If the enemy is good enough, they’ll figure out how to target each of us.” He inhaled deeply, looming over my head. “Which means I really shouldn’t say what I wanted to say to you.”
My heart sped up. “About what?”
His jaw flexed again. I touched it, and he looked down at me. I thought he was going to speak several times, but he swallowed the words. Finally, he said, “Rachel’s gone.”
“I know, you said she’s overseas for three weeks.”
“No, I mean gone, gone. I told her—well, we’re not together anymore.”
“Oh.” I wanted to yell. “Why?”
He stared at me, then shook his head slowly left to right, like I couldn’t possibly be that dense.
“Then say it,” I shot at him, my tension snapping. “Stop dancing around things. Did you break up with her because of CASE? To keep her out of harm’s way? Because you love her so much you want her safe?”
His mouth curled up a fraction. “No to all of the above.”
“Because she’s never around? You’re like strangers, and you need more than she can give?”
“No.”
“She hates HQ and the time you spend on us. Being responsible for our complete well-being.”
“No.”
“She wants kids, and you’re sterile.”
The smile that had grown infinitesimally larger with each example I bit out disappeared. “No!”
“Then what? Why the hell would you say that to me, Adam?” I shoved at his chest with both hands, knocking him back a step. The crutches clattered to the ground and he grabbed my arms, hauling me against him both to get his balance back and to bring my face close to his.
Very close to his.
“I ended things with Rachel because she’s not you.”
How could I be frozen in place and burning up at the same time. “Why?” I whispered. My mouth almost brushed his lips. He closed the space, then shifted back again.
“She’s hard and self-centered and superficial.”
“That only explains half of it.”
He nodded a tiny bit. “You’re warm and giving and always trying to find new ways to help people. To help me.” The last three words were almost inaudible, as if he didn’t feel right saying them, but that was part of the reason I’d always been so drawn to him. He deserved so much and didn’t see it.
My hands curled into his shirt. “This is what you were going to tell me at the hospital? What you were thinking when the building fell on you?”
He nodded, and it took all my willpower not to press my lips against his. But he’d started all this with a caveat.
“Why shouldn’t you say it?” I demanded.
“I can’t say it, goddamn it, because you’re right.” He hissed words that were almost inaudible but I heard clearly anyway. “My feelings for you would compromise HQ even more than it already is, if the enemy knew about them.”
He held me there, his eyes burning. Despair crushed my initial euphoria. He cared about me. More than the others.
More than Rachel. Enough to take a chance. Enough to admit it.
Enough to take it back.
In the few seconds that he showed me everything, I knew that was all I’d get. Whatever his original intentions had been, I’d just blown it by reminding him of the risks of love. Maybe CASE had realized Tulie’s biggest vulnerability was his fiancée, and that was why she was the one who died at the zoo. Adam wasn’t going to let that happen to me.
Kirby honked from the curb. I looked back and saw a cop eyeing her. There was no more time. As I retrieved Adam’s crutches and we hurried to the car, I wished none of this had happened—not the building collapse that started it, not Adam’s decision to reveal his feelings, and especially not my readiness to hear them. I’d been much better off not knowing, assuming he saw me as a sister. No matter what I wanted now, he would never take this further. At least not until CASE was dealt with.
If it ever was.
Chapter 13
The next few days were hectic. We were all working our other jobs on different schedules, so while two of us were at HQ at any given time, we were never there all at once, and that made trying to coordinate and plan harder. Adam focused on the contracts, and Charles didn’t delay in getting them signed and put into action.
I didn’t want to burden Adam asking for his help, but I decided I needed to work on building my abilities, so between appointments and research and planning, I did so. Even with no one else in the room, forming bubbles and shields of emotion came far more easily than I’d anticipated. At least at first. Then my fear seemed to curtail it, keeping it small and completely unhelpful.
Thanks to the referrals from Josh’s psychologist, I had three new consults, plus contact from a psychiatrist who was interested in meeting with me. I also did two employment consults. While my bank account was happy, I didn’t see Adam the rest of the week. Nor was Evan anywhere in evidence. Since exploring anything with Adam was now pointless, I found myself pressing Evan’s number on my phone and listening to it ring. Then I’d remember what he’d said when he left my apartment, about what was happening at HQ. I swiped the phone off before he could answer. That was pointless, too.
Nothing seemed to be the same anymore. No calls came in to HQ for six days. Summer and I started training together daily. She had a surfeit of restless energy to drain off, and I needed to be stronger, faster, and more confident than ever, something that wasn’t going to happen by sitting around waiting.
“Maybe that’s what they’re going for,” I panted at the end of a three-way sparring session with Summer and Trace at the club.
“What?” Trace tossed me a towel and I mopped my face.
“Softening us up. Maybe that’s why CASE hasn’t done anything since M Street.”
“If M Street was even them.” Trace twisted the top off a bottle of water and downed half of it. “We’re assuming they’re after us. Maybe they’re not.”
Summer, who wasn’t sweating at all, dropped to the mat and started doing crunches. I pretended I didn’t see her. My abs ached from the previous day’s workout and I didn’t want her to know it.
“I guess we don’t know for sure it was them. But if it wasn’t, who sent that chunk of concrete into Kirby’s head?”
“Where is Kirby, anyway?” Summer asked. “I thought she was meeting us here.”
“She’s waiting for a delivery from Auberginois’ people. New electronics.”
I shoved Trace away from the drink machine so I could get my own water. “Too bad we don’t have a sensitive on staff. We’ll have to get other electronics to sweep for bugs on the new stuff.”
“You don’t trust Charles?” Summer asked.
“No,” Trace and I said together, and smiled at each other.
Summer made a sound of disgust and hauled herself to her feet. “Don’t let Kirby see you two like that.”
Trace looked confused. “Why not?”
She shook her head and stormed off toward the locker room. He glowered in her direction. “What was that all about?”
“No idea,” I lied. I tossed my towel into a small open hamper and drained my water. “How’s the studio?”
He was still frowning after Summer. “Huh? Oh, fine. Three more days, I’ll be outta your hair. I think something’s wrong with her and Frank.”
“Well, at least you’re not blaming PMS.” I walked toward the locker room.
Trace fell into step beside me. “No, I mean, she was talking to him in the lobby when I got here. They didn’t look happy, and he shoved the door open so hard on his way out the hinge cracked. Eugene was pissed.”
I hurried my steps, separating from Trace when we reached the locker rooms. The women’s was deserted, but I could hear the shower going. Since Summer showered as fast as she did everything else, I waited on the bench by her stuff. When ten minutes had passed and the water was still running, I stripped, grabbed a bath-size towel, and entered the shower room. There were no separate stalls, but half-height tiled walls offered the illusion of privacy. Steam filled the enclosure, diffusing the sunlight through the frosted windows high on the east wall, and I couldn’t see much.
“Summer?”
The hissing patter of the water cut its volume in half, and I realized some of what I’d been hearing was crying. I called her name again, and her hand appeared above one wall, twisting the knob to turn off the water. Her lack of response was loud in the sudden silence, broken by occasional drips from the showerhead and the trickle of water in the drain.
“You okay?”
Sniffle.
That was enough. “Summer, you answer me or I’m coming over there and hauling you out to an ambulance, naked or not.”
Another, bigger sniff. Then she hauled herself to her feet.
“Oh, don’t be so dramatic, Daley.” She retrieved her towel and wrapped it around her body at normal speed. “I’m fine.”
“Don’t tell me you’re fine. Tell me you don’t want to talk about it. But don’t lie.”
Though I could see the steam-muted glow of misery oozing out of her, she wasn’t depressed. So I started my own shower to give her a buffer while she talked, assuming she wanted to. She didn’t leave, but didn’t say anything right away.
“Is it Frank?” I told her what Trace had seen.
“He wants me to quit HQ,” she admitted. “I’m afraid if I don’t, he’ll leave me.”
I turned to wet my hair. “Because of CASE?”
She nodded.
“Are you thinking about it?”
“Hell, no.”
Guilt at her unhesitating response when I’d been much less certain myself prompted me to say, “Maybe you should.”
“No way!” She stomped over to the side of the room, where she’d propped a series of bottles, and pumped lotion onto her palm with jerky movements. “I’ve been in HQ longer than I’ve been with Frank.”
“He’s just scared for you. Like my mom.” I lathered my hair and missed her response while I rinsed.
“What did you say?”
“I said, that’s not the reason. He’s not worried about me. He’s jealous.”
I blinked. “No way. Jealous that we’re being targeted by a hate group?”
“No, jealous that we have this big enemy to conquer. His boss keeps giving him piddling little unimportant cases, and he’s taking his frustration out on me.” She gathered up her stuff as I turned off my shower, and I followed her back to our lockers.
“Sounds petty to me.”
“It is. He knows it is. But honestly?” She sighed and slumped onto the bench. “I’m thinking it’s for the best.”
“What?”
“Ending this relationship.”
Sympathy panged in my chest. “Are you sure? This sounds like something that can be worked through.
”
“No, I’m sure. I think.” She sighed again. “It’s not this little thing. It’s the bigger thing the little one is part of. When Frank thought I was just a trainer with a grand hobby, we were fine. But now that we’re getting press and praise and gasp! A real supervillain! It’s too much for him. He might be okay if he were doing better as a prosecutor. But shoplifting and vandalism aren’t enough.” She stood, and in less time than it took me to put one leg into my jeans, she was dressed and packed.
“Do you need a place to stay?” I offered. “Trace is moving out soon.”
She smiled and hefted her bag over her shoulder. “Thanks, but no. He’ll move out. The lease is in my name because he had a case the day I signed it.” Her eyes closed for a few seconds. “It hurts less thinking about being without Frank than it does thinking about being alone for the rest of my life.”
I knew exactly what that felt like.
“What about Evan?” I blurted.
She looked shocked at the very idea. “What about him?”
“He’s . . . interested in you.”
She snorted. “Trust me, Daley, he isn’t. Not like you think. He’s an ass and a pighead. You should date him.”
“What?”
“Well, he’s only an ass and a pighead to me. You’re perfect for each other.”
“Hey!”
She laughed. “I’m just teasing you.” The laughter faded. “He’s not an ass, not really. He’s a good guy. But even good guys can do something unforgivable. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t see him.”
I remembered her saying something at her dinner party—it seemed a long time ago now—about keeping certain people close. Was that why she was fixing us up? I wanted to ask what he’d done that she couldn’t forgive, but she glanced at her watch. “I’m meeting Frank for lunch. Do you mind . . .?”
The Color of Courage Page 16
