by Shirley Jump
“I have to get this potato salad mixed up,” Grace said. “Have a good night tonight, honey. And try not to focus on the heartache. Only the excitement ahead. There could be worse things than dating one handsome man while another still wants your heart.”
“Thanks, Mom. I’ll try to keep that in mind.” She gave her mom a kiss. Just as she was grabbing her apron from the hook by the door, her phone buzzed.
Looking forward to tonight, Ethan had texted. Especially since I have to take a short business trip tomorrow so I’ll be away for a couple days.
Looking forward to it, too, she typed back, then added, :-( on the trip. See you tonight!
But even as she typed the words, her mind kept going back to that kiss with Zach. Jillian tucked her phone away, drew in a deep breath, and pushed the swinging door, telling herself that she wasn’t going to be affected by Zach Gifford ever again.
Her gaze strayed to the deck, to the bit of the corner she could glimpse through the small window on the kitchen door. He was still out there, standing in the same spot she had left him, his back to the restaurant. A part of her yearned to hug him, to put her head against his shoulder and inhale the warm, teasing scent of his cologne. To be right where they used to be.
Traveling down the same dead-end road again.
“He looks sad,” Darcy said, coming up beside Jillian. “I kinda feel bad for him.”
“He had his chance. And he blew it.”
“Sometimes men are slow to get smart,” Darcy said. “It could still work—”
“No. I don’t want to go back to where we were before.” Jillian glanced over at the Lovers’ Wall, a paneled space at the back of the restaurant where people had been tacking up dollar bills with their hopes and dreams for decades. Legend had it that putting someone’s name on a dollar bill and stapling it to the wall would ensure true love forever. Her parents had done it, Darcy and Kincaid had done it—dozens of happy couples had done it.
Years ago, she’d written Zach’s name on a dollar bill and slapped it on the wall. She could still see the bill, tucked in the corner, covered now by two other bills. “I’m not taking any chances,” Jillian said to Darcy. She stalked over to the Lovers’ Wall and pulled off the bill with Zach’s name on it.
Darcy laughed. “Do you really think that’s going to work?”
“Maybe not. But it’s worth a try. In fact, it’s worth more than a try.” Jillian grabbed the Sharpie from the table by the wall, drew a big circle with an X through it over Zach’s name, then tacked the bill back in place. “If it works for whoever you dream about being with, then it should work the opposite way, too.”
“Sounds logical. But this is a legend,” Darcy said. “I don’t think those are logical. They’re…magical. Mysterious.”
“Well, this one is no mystery. Zach and I aren’t good together.” She patted the dollar bill. “Hear that, Universe? Quit trying to convince me otherwise.”
Then she glanced over at the glass doors, and saw Zach still standing on the deck, his shoulders hunched, his head down. Darcy was right. He did look sad. And despite everything she had just done and said, a part of her still wanted to go over there and make it right.
Jillian shook her head, then got busy straightening tables that didn’t need straightening until some customers came in and the world of The Love Shack stopped spinning around Zach.
# # #
Carter tried not to stare at Sophie. He talked with Brian, took a sip of beer, pretended to be eating the steamed clams, when really his every sense was attuned to her. She laughed with her brother, but he could still see a little tension in her shoulders, in the set of her mouth, that said the thought of her phone and her laptop was never far away.
If he didn’t think Brian would kill him, Carter would lure Sophie off to the beach, far out of range of any cell tower, and coax her into the water. Although thinking about that did him no good at all, because his concentration went seriously south.
“So, Carter, have you thought about my idea?” Brian pried a clam the rest of the way open and scooped out the shellfish inside. “I think now’s the time to take a risk. While we’re young and stupid and unattached. Meaning, we can afford to make mistakes and be poor because we won’t have some wife reminding us to be ‘responsible.’” He put little air quotes around the last word.
“I don’t know. It’s pretty risky,” Carter said. His gaze lingered on Sophie, on the way she was eating corn on the cob. A dot of butter glistened on her chin, and he nearly groaned.
“And you are the most risk-averse person I know. Which is why you have me for a friend.” Brian grinned. “Come on. It’ll be good for you to get off the corporate hamster wheel and start making your own hours. Calling your own shots.”
“And losing my own money. Health insurance. 401k plan.” Carter shook his head. “I don’t know, man. Going out on your own usually sounds a lot better in theory than in practice. And the stock market has been volatile as hell for the last few years.”
Brian’s face took on a devilish look. “That’s what makes it fun. Today, you’re eating lobster, tomorrow you’re scavenging the trash bin at Wendy’s for half a burger.”
Carter laughed. “Gee, Brian, you make entrepreneurship sound so attractive.”
“Tell him, Sophie. Tell him he’d be an idiot to keep working for To the Grave Taskmasters and Sons.” He chuckled at the nickname he had given the investment firm they worked for.
“You’re an idiot,” Sophie said. The words came out completely deadpan, but a second later, she flashed a smile at him. “And Brian pays me to say that.”
“See? She agrees with me.”
“No, she called me an idiot.” Carter picked up his beer, but didn’t drink. “And why do you think I am an idiot, Sophie?”
Her eyes seemed to flash mischief behind the sunglasses. “You really want me to tell you? Or do you want me to hand in a report at the end of the day?”
“There are that many ways I am an idiot?”
“I think I may need an extra ink cartridge just to print.” A half smile curved across her crimson lips.
“You barely know me. What did I do to impress you as an idiot?”
“For one, you’re friends with him.” She thumbed toward her brother.
“Hey, I resent that remark.” Brian laughed. “Not really. I think being friends with me is an adventure.”
Sophie made a little face but didn’t respond to her brother. “For another, when we first met, you did an incredibly stupid thing.”
“Me? I did something stupid?” Was that why she barely noticed him? Why she had so few conversations with him? And why did he worry so much about what stupid thing he might have done? Sophie was off limits. Off limits. “What did I do?”
“You—”
“Hey, Carter. Can I talk to you for a second?”
Carter turned at the touch on his shoulder. Zach Gifford, Jillian’s ex. Of all the people on Fortune’s Island, the last one he would have expected to want to talk with him was Zach. Carter had never been overtly mean to Jillian’s boyfriend, but he hadn’t exactly rolled out a welcome mat, either. “Uh, sure.”
Carter excused himself from the table, with definite reluctance. He wanted to know what Sophie had to say. Damn it. He led Zach down the deck to an empty pair of bar stools against the back railing. “What’s up?”
“You know that Jillian and I are still broken up, right?”
“Yeah.” Carter remembered wanting to throttle Zach for being stupid enough to let someone as awesome as Jillian go. But he’d refrained. If Zach didn’t have enough brains to hold onto Jillian, then he didn’t deserve her.
“I thought it was the best thing at the time, you know?” Zach leaned over the railing and laced his fingers together. “I told myself I could concentrate on my career and not have…”
“A woman dragging you down?” Carter finished, biting off the words one at a time.
“Well, yeah. I mean, that sounds shitty, but that
’s what I thought. So I didn’t try all that hard to get her back. I thought I was making the right choice.”
“And now, three months later, you’re thinking, gee, I was a total friggin’ idiot?” There, he’d said it.
Zach let out a long breath. “Yeah.”
“And why are you talking to me about this?” Carter said. “There’s nothing I can do. I mean, she’s my sister, but you know her. She does what she wants, and never asks anyone for their opinion first.”
“I know that. But…” Zach turned to him then, and in Zach’s eyes, Carter saw pain. The kid was hurting, and that tugged on Carter’s sympathies, even though his first allegiance would always be to his sister. “Can you talk to her? Put in a good word for me?”
Carter wanted to say hell no, but then he took one look at Zach’s heartbroken puppy dog face, and caved. He’d been there—he still remembered how he’d felt when Louise Johnson had broken his heart right before senior prom—and try as he might to hate the guy who had broken Jillian’s heart, he couldn’t. Zach was clearly in pain, and maybe, just maybe, the three or so months apart had taught him what a valuable person Jillian was. Carter knew his sister was miserable, too, even if she refused to admit it. “Yeah, yeah, I can talk to her.”
Relief flooded Zach’s features. “Thanks, man. I owe you one.”
Just as Zach started to turn away, Carter put a hand on his shoulder. The moment of sympathy he’d had for Zach was passing, replaced by Carter’s instinct to protect his sister. “Tell me one thing first.”
“Anything.”
“What’s changed? Far as I can tell, your career is still first.”
“Because I’m playing here tonight? That’s my job, Carter.”
“Yeah, but it’s not the kind of job that feeds a family. You want to get back together with Jillian, don’t do it half-assed. Prove to her that you’re ready to be everything she deserves.”
Zach scowled. “You mean give up my music.”
“I mean get a job that has health insurance and a 401k plan and a regular income every week. Play music on the weekends or whatever.”
Zach looked past Carter, out onto the water. He didn’t speak for a while. Then he nodded. “If that’s what it takes.”
“That’s what it takes to be a grown-up, Zach, and that’s the kind of man my sister deserves.” Carter clapped him on the back, half support, half get-your-act-together, then walked away.
TEN
The Outsiders were just starting their first set when Jillian finally got a chance to take a few minutes to visit with Carter. She welcomed the break outside, especially when she heard the first emotional notes of “You’re The Everything.” She couldn’t watch Zach sing that song, couldn’t listen to the words. When they’d been dating, he’d always called her over when he sang “You’re The Everything,” delivering the words right to her. As if he meant them all.
The music muted when Jillian shut the glass door leading to the deck. It was a warm night, and she should have left it open, but the door could wait, at least until that song was over.
Their kiss lingered in her mind. She could still feel Zach’s touch on her jaw, her waist, feel his lips against hers. So familiar, so knowledgeable. He knew how to touch her, how to coax those little sounds from her throat, how to make the world disappear. Damn it, he still knew all those things, and so did she.
No more kissing. No more being alone with him. And maybe then she could truly forget Zach.
You’re the everything I love, Zach was singing, the sound muted by the thick glass, but still whispering through to her ears. You’re the everything that matters.
No. She wasn’t going to listen. Wasn’t going to hear those words or that melody. Jillian crossed to her brother, putting a few more feet between herself and the song.
Carter was just laying a few bills on the table when she sat in the chair across from him. “Sorry I just got over here to say hi,” she said. “It’s been a crazy busy night.”
“I noticed.” He grinned at her. “Glad you weren’t my waitress or I would have starved to death.”
“Not like you couldn’t stand to miss a meal.” She reached over and tapped his stomach. Carter was lean and long, from running pretty much all his life, but she still teased him anyway. “So, are you here by yourself?”
“Nah. Brian and Sophie were here, but left. Sophie said she was tired but I think she really just wanted to get some work done.” He shrugged. “I thought I’d wait around for you. You know, being that you’re my favorite sibling and all.”
She snorted. “Aw, you’re just sucking up now.”
“Exactly. There’s only, what, a hundred and twenty shopping days until Christmas?” Carter winked.
“I don’t need that many days. I’m getting you the same thing as last year.”
“Coal in my stocking?”
“Exactly.” She grinned. She loved her older brother, and the familiar patter between them. They’d always gotten along well, and she wished he lived here, on the island, so she could see him more often. “So, Workaholic, Mom tells me you’re taking a few days off. Is this the first sign of the apocalypse or what?”
“Maybe.” Carter sat back on the stool and let out a long breath. “I’ve been working too many eighty, hundred hour weeks lately. I barely even know what day it is, never mind whether the sun is up or if it’s raining or snowing. I decided I needed a few days, just to clear my head.”
“Then back to the grindstone.”
“Maybe.” Carter fiddled with a napkin. “Brian is trying to talk me into going into business with him. Becoming financial advisors on our own. Setting up a shop here, and another on the mainland.”
“Really? You going to do it?”
Carter chuckled. “You know me. I’m the most risk-averse guy on the planet. I’m not a big fan of jumping into the water without a safety net.”
“Or health benefits and a retirement plan.” She grinned. “I know what you mean. Waitressing for Mom and Dad isn’t exactly my dream job, but it is a steady, predictable check, and you gotta love that.”
“I think it’s watching Mom and Dad struggle with this place,” Carter said. “That’s made both of us a little entrepreneurially gun shy.”
“Listen to you with the big words. What was that, like seven syllables?” Jillian gave him a light jab in the arm. “Showoff.”
“Hey, I gotta trot out that college education every once in a while.” Carter leaned across the table. “So, how about you?”
“What about me?”
“I know you love Mom and Dad, but I also know you don’t want to be asking, ‘Would you like fries with that’ for the rest of your life.”
She laughed. “No, I don’t.”
“Then what are you doing about it?”
She hesitated a long time, then leaned across the table and lowered her voice. Carter was right. Watching their parents struggle over the years had left an impression on Jillian. There’d been years so busy and profitable, it was all they could do to hold on for the wild ride, and keep up with the steady flood of customers. Then, there were other years where business had dried up like grapes left in the sun too long. It had all made her a little reluctant to go into a career that was just as mercurial. Waitressing might not be glamorous, but if she was frugal, it paid the bills.
Still, a part of Jillian wanted—no, craved—more. She wanted to step off this little world she inhabited and go after something bigger, riskier. She was tired of being cautious, of hiding her dreams under a rock by the sea.
Maybe it was time she told somebody and made the leap into making her dreams public knowledge. Well, maybe not a leap, more like a baby step. Either way, she needed to do something, rather than sit on the sidelines and wait for a moment that may never come. “If I tell you,” Jillian said, “you have to promise not to tell anyone. Not Mom, not Dad, not even Darcy.”
Carter grinned. “If you’re about to tell me you’ve suddenly become the next cocaine kingpin on For
tune’s Island, I don’t want to hear it.”
Jillian laughed. “No, I’m not a cocaine kingpin. Do we even have one of those on this island?”
“Well, there’s Marty, who’s the pot kingpin. Though I’m pretty sure he smokes everything he grows.”
That made Jillian laugh some more. “I’m not doing that, either. I’m…” She glanced around, didn’t see anyone she knew, but lowered her voice to a whisper anyway. Her heart thudded in her chest, and her stomach tied in knots. Once she told Carter, she’d be taking a giant step forward. One she couldn’t undo. Maybe, though, it was about time she did this. “I’m going to college.”
Carter wrinkled his brows. “And why is that a big secret?”
“I’m going to music college. And I’m just doing it to have fun. Learn a little.” Okay, so she’d partially chickened out at the last minute and downplayed what she was doing.
“So you are spending thousands of dollars and countless hours pursuing a degree…for fun?” Carter arched a brow.
“Well, it’s music. And you know what that industry is like. I mean, look at Zach.” At that, she turned and glanced through the glass doors. Zach and The Outsiders were playing their next song, a peppy cover of an 80s hit.
“Seems to me somebody might have a dream career that she’s not telling anyone about.” Carter leaned in. “Am I right?”
“No, it’s just for fun. I mean, I might not even finish. I’m just taking a couple classes, nothing more. Seriously.” She got to her feet. The reality was that most musicians barely made enough money to eat. It was better for her to keep the steady job and forget this pipedream. “I have to get back to work.”
Carter grabbed her hand before she could walk away. “You’re an incredible singer, Jillian. You should do something with that. And with this degree you’re pretending you’re only getting for ‘fun’.”
“How do you know I can sing?”
“I grew up with you, remember? I used to think there was a cow dying in the next room until I realized it was you, trying to be Madonna.”
She slugged him, hard this time. “Shut up. I hate you.”
