I stood frozen in fear, waiting to see what was about to unfold. Max, along with the two other men, began walking across the street, grinning. Brian shifted to block me from view and swayed slightly from the alcohol. Never in my life had I seen someone sober up that fast, but he seemed to switch gears almost instantly. “Now, Mallory! Go inside, now!” he commanded.
“But?” I placed my hands on his back, and felt the muscles tense and flex. “What about you?”
“I’ll be fine. Go inside now!” he ordered as he continued the stare them down.
I turned to run as fast as I could down the sidewalk and back to the front door just as I heard the one I knew as Gage call after me, “Don’t run away, honey. We want to have some fun, too. Old Bri here says you’re quite the lay.”
I stopped in my tracks as my hand hit the door knob. What had I done? Who had I climbed into bed with, and could I walk away? It seemed as if I’d meant nothing to him last night, but with the mixed signals he’d just been sending, I wasn’t so sure. Yanking the door open, I charged back into the bar and headed straight for the bathrooms. I needed to get myself together. Brian had sent me into a tailspin, and I was silently wondering if it was time to move on and forget my plan for revenge. After what I’d just seen outside, I wasn’t sure I could handle it anymore.
Chapter 9
I don’t remember much about that night. After I had pulled myself together in the bathroom, Tori had sent me home. We were busy, and I’m not sure how she was able to convince Lauren to stay, but she did. I knew when I went back to work on Monday, I would be kissing some serious ass.
After dragging myself home that night, I reheated some leftovers and attempted to get some sleep. I’d been up most of the night before, and after coming down from the high of being with Brian, I could feel myself about to crash. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen with him and that scared me. Could we fix whatever I’d broken? I wasn’t even sure if what was going on with him actually had anything to do with me, but I knew that I wanted to fix us…if there was even an ‘us’ to fix.
When I awoke the next morning, I laid in bed for hours just thinking and staring at the ceiling. Did I really want to try and get involved with the group Brian was dealing with? I’d asked myself that several times as I held my cell in my hand. My thumb hovered over the speed dial button for my handler. I knew that if I told him what was going on, he’d have me relocated by the end of the day. The problem was that I was starting to have feelings for Brian, and now that I was an adult, I wanted to explore those feelings further. This time around, I didn’t have my parents telling me I’d have to leave. It wouldn’t be like New York. I wouldn’t leave Brian behind like I did with Dev. That thought alone had me tossing my phone back on the night table by my bed. I’d give this a little more time, and lay low for a few days. Maybe if I let Brian cool off, things would work themselves out.
With renewed energy, I rolled from the bed and padded into the kitchen to make myself some coffee. After eating some toast, and debating a little more on what I would do on my day off, I decided to call my mom. I hadn’t seen her in two weeks, and she’d been begging me to come by for lunch.
ooooooooo
After a short taxi ride, I arrived at my mom’s condo. It was small and nothing like what we’d lived in as a family, but with dad gone, it was all she needed. I jogged up the steps and knocked, waiting for her to answer. When she opened the door, a bright smile spread across her face, “How many times have I told you, you don’t have to knock?” She reached for me, and pulled me in to a tight embrace.
“Hi, Momma,” I mumbled as I buried my nose in her neck. She still wore the same perfume that she’d worn for years and just smelling it took me back to my childhood.
“Come on in,” she released me and motioned into the condo.
I shuffled through door, and stepped out of my sneakers. Mom had always made dad and me take our shoes off, and old habits die hard. I glanced around at the place. It looked different since I’d last been there. The walls were now a warm yellow, and the carpet had been replaced with hardwoods. New couches and a flat screen were sitting in the living area, and I could only imagine what she’d done in her bedroom.
“Do you like it?” She beamed as she watched me take it all in.
“Wow,” I gasped. “When did you do all this? Who did all this?”
“I hired a crew. They came in one weekend and did it while I stayed with a friend.” Her smiled widened as she reached for my hand to lead me farther into the family room.
“A friend?” I cocked my head to the side.
“His name’s Jamie,” she grinned. “And no, before you ask, he’s not my boyfriend.”
“Mom,” I groaned.
“We met at church, and I’m tutoring his daughter. When I mentioned that I was getting the condo painted, he offered to let me stay in his guest house,” she sighed as she lowered herself onto the couch. “I could never love someone like I did your father. Besides, I want to be honest, and you know I can’t.”
“I know,” I huffed. “I met someone, too.”
“Really?” She perked up at the change in topic.
“Yeah, but I’m not sure it’s going anywhere.” I flopped back on the sofa and closed my eyes as I waited for the inquisition.
“Who is he?” She nudged me.
“His name is Brian,” I mumbled. “We met at work.” I knew I couldn’t tell her everything. She’d flip out, and demand that we move…again. She wouldn’t understand, and the fact that I was going to have to hide this from her was killing me.
“Am I going to get to meet him sometime?” She smiled, but then it dropped from her face as she watched me squirm. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I grumbled. “I just don’t know if there’s anything there, yet. We’re arguing…I think. I don’t know Mom. I mean…things were going ok, but then he kinda flipped out on me.”
“The secrets,” she nodded as she too slumped back on the couch. “I’m sorry, baby,” she reached out to pull me into her arms and hold me like she did when I was little.
“That’s part of it,” I murmured into her chest as I felt tears well in my eyes. “I just…I think I like him. I mean, really like him, Mom, and I don’t know how I’m gonna do this.”
“Do what?” She pulled back to look me in the eyes.
“Leave,” I whimpered. “You know it’s gonna happen. We’re gonna have to leave eventually; we always do.”
“I don’t know, honey. Kevin says that they’re getting close. He says they have a lead on George’s location, and that the operation is going better than expected,” she held me tighter and began rubbing soothing circles on my back. “He says they might be able to make an arrest in the next few months.”
I stiffened slightly when what she’d said slowly sank in. George was the name that was being thrown back-and-forth between Brian and Gage. The reality of how close I was to this was startling. Maybe I could talk to Kevin, convince him to let me help. It was far-fetched, but I was so tired of running that I was ready to do anything. “How many times have we heard that one?” I groaned as I blinked back the tears.
“I know, but I want to believe him this time. He seems to really think that it’s going to work.” She squeezed me tighter, and as we sat there wrapped together, it took me back to my childhood and the way she used to comfort me.
“You wanna stay for dinner?” She released me, and placed her hands on my knees. “We can eat on the balcony,” her eyes lifted to the small staircase off to the right that led to the loft which opened onto a deck.
“Sounds nice,” I smiled softly as I watched her face brighten once again. “I’ve got a casserole baking in the oven. It’s not much, but I’m sure you haven’t been eating right.” She eyed me curiously and I fidgeted. She was my mom and she could read me like a book.
“I’m up for anything,” I shoved to my feet. “Want some help?”
“All I have to do is plate it, and carry it up stair
s, but I do have some wine chilling if you’d like to open it for us.” She began heading toward the kitchen with an obvious bounce in her step. I knew she was happy that I was staying. I never stayed, but today I needed my mom. She was helping me dwell on something other than Brian, and I was forever thankful for that.
ooooooooo
After finishing dinner, Mom and I sat on the balcony watching the city come to life. We were both sipping wine, and the cool crispness of it mixed great with the evening breeze. The nights were becoming cooler and longer, and the days bringing with them signs of fall. The fireflies that could be seen in the suburbs were nonexistent here, but the ever present headlights made up for them. I looked over at my mom as she sat leaning back in her chair. She looked relaxed, happy, and I silently wondered if I’d ever get to that place. Not much had changed for her over the years. She still looked quite young for her age. Other than a few greying strands of hair, her complexion was still rather wrinkle free. She’s always been petite and had still managed to keep her figure. I think maybe all the stress over the years has helped with that. I know it’s helped me. I don’t know how many nights I’ve skipped dinner from being too tired and worried to eat. My mom, on the other hand, has seemed to take our lifestyle in stride. Never letting it get her down, always looking for the positive. She seems blissfully unaware of the dangers most of time, but I guess that stems from the fact that she was an adult when she was brought into the situation. She and my dad were already married. She didn’t have to grow up and readjust every couple of months or years. She had a partner, up until a few years ago, to suffer through this. My dad had always been a rock through it all. I, on the other hand, had to go through adolescents and childhood without roots. I had a friend when we lived in Texas whose father was in the Army. She moved in down the street from us shortly after we’d gotten there. We bonded right away, and when I suddenly had to leave, I told her my dad was in the military. I figured it would be easier to lie about leaving, and lying had become so normal that it wasn’t that hard for me. Now, as I look back, that’s the one lie I wish had been a truth. It would have made this lifestyle easier. It would have made sense. I would have felt like all the moving around had been worth it.
“What are you thinking about so hard over there?” My mom placed her wine glass on the table and crossed her legs.
“Nothing,” I sighed.
“That doesn’t look like a nothing face to me,” she cocked her head to the side.
“What?” I wrinkled my nose.
“You get this little line right here,” she pointed to her brow. “Your father did the same thing when he was worried.”
“I guess I’m not really worried, more like tired. I’m tired of the running. Tired of being alone. Tired of being nobody…” I trailed off.
“You’re not nobody,” she rocked forward and reached across the table to clasp my hands in hers. “You’re somebody, Sam. You’re somebody special, and one day soon you can tell the world.”
“I hope you’re right,” I sighed.
“I know I’m right. You have to stay positive. Kevin said…” she looked back out at the cityscape.
“I know; I know…they’re close.” I nodded and began chewing my lip. “You think things will work out fast enough that I have a chance with Brian?”
Mom blinked a few times as she watched me, “You really like him, don’t you?”
“I don’t really know him, but something tells me that there’s more to him than he’s letting on,” I shrugged.
“Like what?” She asked as she sipped her wine.
“I don’t know, yet…it’s just a feeling, but it’s a strong one,” I turned to watch the lights in the distance.
“Hey,” she patted my arm. “Why don’t you stay here tonight? You’ve been drinking, and it’s getting late. I never get to see you, and we can go out to breakfast tomorrow.” The hopeful look that began creeping over her face was too much for me to say no.
“Ok,” I nodded. “I have to work tomorrow night, though, so I’ll have to leave early.”
“That’s fine,” she smiled as she stood to grab our dishes. “I’m going to take these inside. You look like you might need some time to think. Stay out here and relax. Let the night surround you and listen to your thoughts. Your father used to love to sit on the roof decks when we had them. He said that the sky talked to him. You’re so much like him. Stay,” she touched my shoulder. “Talk to him. He’s always listening.” Before I could respond, she turned and disappeared through the door.
I sat there until evening turned to night, and thought about what she’d said. I was like my dad in a lot of ways, but I was also like her. Strong, resilient, and brave. My mom was able to take everything that happened to us in stride. I now realized that she wasn’t unaware of our situation, she was just trying to make the best of it. Where I’d always been afraid of the future, she embraced it. One revelation that I’d held onto tonight was that if things were going to progress with Brian, I needed to find a way to let him in. I needed to embrace the situation and give him what I could. I needed to get him to open up to me, and I needed to do all of this as soon as I could. My mother didn’t know it at the time, but that simple conversation we’d had with me was going to save us.
Chapter 10
After spending most of the next day with my mom, I tried to push thoughts of Brian and all our issues to the back of mind. I didn’t see him that night, or for the next ten days for that matter, and I was beginning to wonder if he was ok. Work had been busy, and Lauren made sure that I knew how much extra stress I’d caused her by having her cover for me on that fateful night. She was in the middle of getting ready for one of her toughest semesters yet, and, according to her, she couldn’t afford a single screw up. She was hoping to intern in the DA’s office in the spring, and this semester was her ticket in.
“I’m sorry,” I sighed as I shifted around both Lauren and Tiff. It was a busy night, and we really couldn’t afford any dissension among us. I was trying to do my job, and stay out of Lauren’s way. She’d been twisted up in knots for three days now, and didn’t seem to want to talk to anyone. Tiff had warned me that afternoon when I came in that things had been tense at lunch.
“It’s ok. I’m just…” Lauren blinked a few times to hold back tears. “Tired. I’m tired, and it’s been a long week, and my summer class hasn’t gone well, and… I’m not sure I was meant to do this.”
“Are you kidding me?” I gawked at her. “You’re like the smartest person I know.”
“No, I’m not,” she shook her head as she popped the top off another beer, and grabbed the cash that was being waved in her face.
“Yes, you are. We need more people like you in the world,” I huffed and then turned to grab a bottle off the shelf behind me. “You have no idea how badly,” I mumbled. I didn’t want her to hear me, but I needed to voice my opinion. I was angry at the way I’d had to live my life over the years, and other than my mom, I had no one to vent to.
“Hey, Mal,” Tiff called from the far end of the bar. “I got a customer down here that you might want to wait on.”
“I’m busy right now. You know the rules for a busy night, no requests!” I shouted over the crowd. I went back to mixing the drink I’d started and didn’t hear her respond. Just when I went to turn around, and hand it to the girl that had been waiting patiently, I saw him.
“Can I get some service?” His deep voice rumbled as he leaned on the bar and stared at me.
I shrugged, “Didn’t think you’d want any from me after the last time you were here.”
“Things change,” Brian sighed and rolled his eyes before leaning closer. “I want to talk to you tonight, but not here and not now.”
“I don’t have time for this, and I’m not into games, Brian,” I narrowed my eyes at him.
“I’m not, either,” the muscle in his jaw ticked and he rubbed his hand across the scruff that had grown in. He crooked his finger when I paused in front of him befo
re he lowered his voice, “You’re gonna see things, things you don’t understand, and I want you to promise me you’ll stay here until I come back tonight.”
“Whatever,” I grumbled as I turned away.
He reached out across the bar, and wrapped his long fingers around my upper arm as he leaned in closer. His eyes darkened as his voice lowered, and became harsh, “I’m telling you this because I care, Mallory. I work with people that could hurt you, and I’m not willing to take a chance that that could happen.”
I froze as blood began to rush in my ears. The room became hazy, and I knew from past experiences that something big was about to happen and my instincts kicked in. In matter of seconds, Brian released me, and stood up straight. A look of indifference washed over his face and he subtlety shook his head at me. His shoulders stiffened just as Max and Gage walked up to flank him
“So this is where you met that pretty thing,” Gage smirked as he shouldered into the side of Brian.
“Whatever, man,” Brian grumbled.
“Got any more like you?” Gage propped himself on the bar and leered at me.
“Can I get you anything?” I leveled my stare at him and crossed my arms over my chest.
“Easy, sweet thing,” he warned.
“Bri? Whatcha havin’?” Max shrugged out of his jacket and made himself comfortable on a nearby stool.
“I was just leaving,” Brian stared at me in warning. I could tell he was trying to send a message with his eyes. The only thing he’d forgotten was that he’d treated me like crap the last time I saw him and he’d yet to meet my stubborn streak.
“Stay. Join us,” Max smirked. “We want to see what’s had you in this place so much lately.”
Brian tensed as both Gage and Max each grabbed a shoulder, and forced him to sit between them. “I’ll have a Bud bottle,” Max flipped his hand in the air at me. I stood there for a minute as my coworkers buzzed around me. It was as if I was on the outside of the situation, watching it unfold in front of me. “Hey,” he snapped his fingers in front of me. “You hear me, bitch?”
Being Nobody (The Witness Series #1) Page 7
