"The only thing I can do is apologize for what's happened," I said. "I can't change any of that. My father put me on a job and I did it."
She shook her head and looked back out at the water. "Everything's just a job," she mumbled. We were quiet for a moment, the crashing waves and faint music a distance away being the only sounds around us.
"What was he like?" I finally asked.
She squinted at me, furrowing her brow. "Who?"
"Your ex," I said as I reached into the basket and pulled out two glasses and the sparkling cider.
"Why?"
"I mean we're talking. You know about Stephanie and you won't utter a word about him," I said as I poured us both a glass, passing her one of them. "Since we're already talking about shit, why not talk about everything?"
She took the glass from my hand and put it to her lips, taking a sip. Sitting all the way up, she crossed her legs, fingering the rim of the glass as she looked down into the bubbling drink.
"He was...he was a good guy," she said.
"He didn't seem like your type," I mused and took a sip from my glass.
She scoffed. "You don't know me to even know what my type is," she muttered.
"You seem a bit too feisty to be with someone like him. The haircut alone screamed loser," I said and snickered, but she wasn't amused.
"I mean he wasn't particularly my type, but he was safe." She took another sip on cider before burying the bottom in the sand to sit the glass up. "Having someone safe was important when everything in my life seem to be going to hell in a hand basket. I spent my whole life believing someone was after me and I thought if I settled into a safe life, everything would eventually go away."
"Were you really in love with him?"
"Of course I was. He was good to me. He didn't deserve to die; he didn't deserve any of that," she murmured.
"I can agree with that," I said, looking out at the water. I could feel her eyes on me for a moment. "Stephanie didn't deserve it either."
"What was she like?" she asked. "As an adult, I mean. I only knew her as a child."
"The only bright spot I had in the darkness of my world," I murmured. "Being with her...I could see why your father made such a deal like that. I wouldn't have sacrificed my kid, but I could understand why he thought that was the best thing to do."
"What would you have sacrificed then if not your child?" she asked, her voice carrying a sarcastic tone.
"Myself." I looked over at her. "I'd kill myself before allowing anyone to hurt my woman or my kid. I'd leave the mafia in a pine box if it meant those I cared about would be untouched."
"Oh." She dropped her gaze to her lap. "Well, now you have your own mafia family. You make the rules. What if Saint wants to get out to give Giselle a better life? Or Bruce for that matter?"
"I'm not my father," I said. "My men have been nothing but loyal to me. In the event that they decide this life isn't for them anymore–whether it be because they want to start a family or just want to have a normal life–I won't hold that against them. There's more to life than chaos and destruction." I downed the rest of my drink. "I just wished I could find out what that was."
"You're going to get a new type of chaos and destruction when this baby comes along," she mused and giggled. "Can you imagine a small devilish version of yourself?"
"Don't even remind me," I said and chuckled.
"While it's nice that we're sitting here having a nice 'meeting,' there's still something we're failing to talk about," she said, her tone serious.
"What's that?"
"Last night."
When I woke up in the guest room this morning, I knew I'd fucked up royally. The previous night had been a blur. My vision went red the moment I laid eyes on Brian and all I saw was the need to make him bleed, to make him suffer, just as I had for the past three years. And he did. I'd literally cut his heart out, put it on top of his head, and drove the knife through it.
But it didn't fix the emptiness inside of me.
It didn't bring my girl and my baby back.
And it didn't make the darkness go away.
"Yeah...that didn't go as I thought it would," I said. She rolled her eyes.
"I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the fact that you hit me after you said you wouldn't. You made this big deal about wanting to work on us and seeing where we can go but all you've done is just confirm that you're amazing at pretending." She scoffed. "Whenever you're tired of the mafia, go to Hollywood to become an actor. You'd be great at it."
"You don't understand—"
"Then it would help if you could help me to understand," she fired back.
I inhaled deeply, taking in the ocean air. "I had these ideas of what I'd do or say whenever I was face to face with Stephanie's killer," I started. "It was pretty lame. You know, standing in front of a mirror practicing different ways you'd say things. I thought I knew what I'd do in that situation and how I'd handle things, but it was so much different in person. When you're practicing in front of the mirror, you only account for them being in a weaker position than you. You don't account for the actual reality of what they may do or say."
"What did he do?" she asked, her voice low.
"Threatened you," I said, growing angry all over again. When we'd entered the house, he was asleep on the couch, the lights off, but the glow of the television illuminating his dark form. He'd fought against us but when he realized who I was, he only laughed and spit blood at my feet.
"Your time was running out," he'd said. "It was only a matter of time before I offed your new slut."
"Hearing him threaten to harm you reminded me of what I came home to the night I found Stephanie," I continued. "Any sense of self control I had was out the window and something darker than I'd ever felt came over me. I couldn't control it anymore."
"What'd you do to him? You weren't in there really long," she asked.
"Cut his heart out, just as he did to me when he killed her," I said, my voice low. "And even after all of that, it didn't change how I felt. I didn't feel vindicated or satisfied. It made me even more angry." I ground my teeth. "Killing him didn't change a goddamn thing. I feel just as empty as I did when I first lost her. All it did was add another body to my roster."
"I'm sorry," she said.
"I'm not. He's dead and that's what matters. He doesn't deserve to walk the earth after what he'd done."
"But if you have that kind of mindset, couldn't people say the same about you too?" she said.
I shrugged. "They could." I was quiet for a moment. "And maybe they'd be right."
She raised a brow at me. "You're not thinking of doing anything stupid, are you?"
"I'm just saying," I said.
"Well, if you do, make sure you leave me everything in your final will and testament, including my freedom," she said and giggled.
"Yeah, I did," I mentioned idly.
Her head snapped back over to me, her eyes widening. "What?"
"I said I did," I repeated. "Is the ocean too loud to where you can't hear now?"
She glared at me. "I heard what you said, you ass. But...what do you mean you already did?"
"Exactly what I said. When you signed the marriage certificate, I put everything in place."
"No, no, no." She shook her head. "I said including my freedom and you didn't object to that or correct me on it."
"Obviously."
"So, if something happens to you, then...I'm free?"
"Don't go getting any fucking ideas," I warned. "But with Wilson, you can never be too sure."
"You're right about that," she muttered, picking up her glass from the sand and finishing her drink. I thought back to all the events that'd happened since I first picked her up. We'd gone through a lot in the month we'd been together, so much so that it felt it's been longer than nearly a year since we first met. I didn't think she'd survive half the shit I put her through and now she sat alongside me as my wife, my queen.
I sighed. One thin
g I didn't want to be was like my father. It wasn't hard to see that my mother wasn't happy with him. I'd hear them arguing when they sent me to bed at night. I noticed how she hardly smiled at him, only when she was speaking to me. It was no surprise to why she found comfort in the arms of another man. I didn't want Aurora to stay because she felt she didn't have a choice. If I wanted it to be real, to see if it could really work, I had to give her that choice and deal with whatever came with it. Considering that we were having a baby, I could only pray that she chose to stay with me.
"I want to make a deal with you," I said.
She rolled her eyes and reached into the basket, pulling out the tray of fresh fruit. "Anytime you say those words, it's full of bullshit," she said.
"This one's serious," I said. She plucked a strawberry from the tray and looked at me, waiting for me to speak. "I should probably word it better. I want to give you a choice."
"A choice?"
"Can you stop repeating what I'm saying?"
She shrugged. "I just want to make sure I'm hearing you correctly," she replied.
"Yes, a choice," I said on a sigh. "I don't want you to feel as if you're trapped, or else thing relationship could never work. I don't want you to think you're forced to love me or else this shit will always be weird."
"So, what's the choice?"
I swallowed hard. This could open the flood gate to something that would lead to devastation, or it could possibly turn into something beautiful. I was always a calculated man, but Aurora and our baby was worth the risk if I wanted our family to feel natural.
"When all of this is over, I'll give you two choices." I took a deep breath and let it out. "You can either stay with me and we'll be a family with our baby or...you can leave with only the money I cashed out from your business."
"Just...leave? What about the mafia? Our marriage?"
"If you want out, you'd be out completely. If you want a divorce, I'll give you that, too."
"But...why? You said you'd never let me leave," she said, confusion etched all over her beautiful face.
"Like you said, you don't belong here. And to keep you after the actual threat is over wouldn't make me any different from my father." I smirked at her. "Trying to turn over a new leaf and all of that."
"I see," she murmured. "Well, I'll worry about that when the time comes, I guess. It's a lot more complicated now that I'm pregnant. It's not like I can just walk away from you and never see you again."
"You could if you truly wanted to."
"As if you couldn't find me again," she said with a scoff. She was quiet for a moment before she looked back to me. "Thank you though."
"Why are you thanking me? I haven't set you free yet."
She gave me a sheepish shrug and soft smile. "Just for giving me the option to when you didn't have to." She waved her hand around. "And for this. It was nice to get away from the noise for a while."
"Yeah. I think we both needed it. Now we have to prepare for the final showdown."
"Are you ready for that?" she asked.
I had different feelings about killing my father. This was the last living relative that I had that I was close to. The man who raised me. The man who made me who I was. But he was also the same man who made me motherless, who put a hit on my girlfriend and had her murdered, who was actively trying to murder me and my wife. No matter how I felt from a familial standpoint, it was either kill or be killed, and I have no plans of dying anytime soon.
"I don't have a choice," I finally answered. "He has to pay for what he's done. But enough about him. We're here to enjoy the beautiful beach and some quality time alone. I haven't had you completely alone since I got you." I waved her over. "Come here."
She moved over to me, settling in between my legs. Her warm back pressed against my chest as she leaned back. I wrapped my arms around her, my hands settling on her belly.
"You know I'll protect you at all costs, right?" I said, staring out at the water.
"I know."
"Even if it means I don't make it."
"Evil never truly dies, does it?" she murmured.
"Maybe, but people do. And at the end of the day, I still bleed like the next person." I tightened my arms around her. "While I'd like for you to stay and lead our family in the event something happens to me, I also want you to make your own choice. This life isn't for everyone, so the option will be there if you want it."
"I know. But I also know what I signed up for when I agreed to be queen," she said with a sigh. "And stop talking like that. You're killing the mood."
"You're right," I said, just as someone's frisbee landed on our blanket. Had Aurora still been sitting there, it would've been on her lap.
"Sorry, dude!" a guy with shaggy dark hair and rainbow swim trucks said as he jogged over to us. Aurora reached over and grabbed it, standing up.
"Go long!" she called out and threw it back.
"Thanks!" the guy shouted and ran after it.
I stood up and scooped Aurora up in my arms, grinned when she squealed in surprise. "What the hell, Bennett?" she exclaimed.
"Why be at the beach if you don't get in the water?" I mused and kissed her lips before carrying her off to the salty water.
AURORA
Seeing Bennett like this was bizarre and slightly frightening, but also a little…refreshing. Today was the first time we’d really sat down and talked. Just talking about my old life, a life that seemed so far away now, just reminded me of everything I'd gone through in the last few months. But I was a bit nervous, thought. Bennett spoke as if he didn't plan on being around much longer, almost as if he was anticipating his death.
“It’s not like we don’t wish he were dead,” my alter reminded me with a scoff.
You said you wanted to hurt him, not kill him. Besides, he’s the father of my baby.
“Fuck that kid and fuck him, too. We’re leaving when all of this is over, so I’d advise you not to create any kind of sick attachment because of this baby,” my alter snapped.
“What’s wrong with you?” Bennett asked, his brows furrowed. I looked up at him, gasping when he put me down in the cold water.
“Shit, that’s cold!” I shrieked. "But nothing's wrong with me. Why?"
"Because your face went through a shit load of expressions in just a couple of seconds."
"Oh." I forced a small grin. "I'm fine."
He chuckled and put his arms around me. "My little psycho queen," he teased.
"Fuck off, you asshole. If anything, you're the reason I'm like this," I fired back, playfully slapping his chest.
The playful expression left his face in a flash, which made my own smile falter. "Yeah, I know I did," he said with a sigh. "That's something that I'll have to live with."
"You don't have to act the way you do, Bennett. You know that, right?" I wrapped my arms around his neck, my alter growling in disapproval in the corners of my mind. "I know you have the ability to be the man that I think you can be. I'm sure you can be the man our baby needs you to be but you're afraid to. Why?"
"It's stupid to ask questions you already know the answer to," he said and frowned. We waded a little deeper into the water, but Bennett didn't go too far. When I looked back at him, he pointed at his pocket. "My phone."
"Then put it on the blanket," I said with a frown.
“Now’s not the time to miss any phone calls.” When I continued frowning at him, he shrugged. “I don't want to go too far anyway. Right here is fine."
“Is there something happening that I should know about?”
“Like what?”
“Whatever is causing you to treat this as if it’s a distraction from the real problem instead of you actually enjoying yourself,” I replied.
He clenched his jaw as he stared at me, putting his hands in his pockets. I always hated when he did that, as it told me that whatever he was about to say would piss me off.
“The last time we were out, Wilson hacked into all of my shit. I can’t afford to
miss an alert or call from KC in the event that it happens again, especially since we’re alone.”
“Oh,” I said in faux shock. “I thought you were more than capable of protecting me.”
He didn’t find it amusing. “I am. If I didn’t think I wasn’t, we wouldn’t be here right now.”
“If you didn’t plan to get in the water, what was the point of bringing me over here?” I countered. He looked around at the waves lapping at his feet.
“Unless this is lava I’m standing in, I am in the water,” he said.
I snickered and kicked the water, splashing him. “You know what I mean, you ass.”
“I’m technically in the water though,” he said and grinned. “I don’t have to dunk myself in to be considered ‘in’ it.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” I said and walked a little further. I’d been so long since I’d been to a beach, even before I was taken. I could probably count on one hand the number of times I’d been in my entire life. After spending so much time running from the life my father tried to protect me from, I never felt comfortable doing these kinds of things. I was always so paranoid when I went out in public, especially by myself. It was nice to feel the cool water washing along my warm skin, though the smell of the salty air made me nauseous. I used to love the smell of the ocean, but this baby was already doing a number on me.
“Don’t forget you don’t have any extra clothes with you,” Bennett warned as I moved further into the water. “I don’t think sitting in wet panties would be very pleasant for you.”
“Oh, that’s rich. You’re never worried about wet panties when you’re the one making them wet,” I said, my voice flat. He only chuckled in response. Though I wanted to defy him, he was right. I didn’t want to get my jeans wet when I put them back on from wet underwear, nor did I want to bake in the sun as I waited for them to dry. Dealing with pregnancy symptoms was enough; I didn’t want to add sun burn to the mix.
Rules of Bennett: The Complete Collection Page 56
