by Xyla Turner
"Yes, dammit," I snapped back as I asked for a drink from the bartender. "You're my friends. I like it, you love it."
"I ain't signing up for that shit," Shay muttered.
"Uh, are you happy?" Kylie asked.
"Well, yeah," I answered.
"No, honey." Kylie shook her head. "Why are you doing this?"
There wasn't a chance I would tell them what happened with Connor. I wasn't going to tell them that I was scared and this was the only logical thing I could do. So, I lied.
"I love him, guys. No, he may not be super masculine or comically hilarious but he's helped me through some tough shit when I had no one else to depend on. So, yeah. I choose him."
"Just so the record is straight, Lori," Shay interrupted. "You chose to be separated from people that would’ve help you. She came home from her fabulous career to take care of her family. You know damn well, we'd have done the same for you. So, this whole thing of ‘he was there when you had nobody’ isn't as legit as you're trying to tell yourself. You had folks, you just didn't want to deal with them."
"Fine, Shay. Tomato, tomatoe." My hands grasped the shot. "Be happy."
"Yay, we're happy," Kylie cheered in an attempt to keep the peace or at least while she was pregnant. "See."
She was beaming and holding Shay’s arm in the air for solidarity but the look on her face said it all.
I was full of shit and she wouldn't co-sign on it.
Unfortunately for me, I drank way too much and got roped into staying until Kylie had to sing. That was always a treat but during her intermission, the man who'd lost his damn mind decided to take the microphone. His voice could be heard over the entire bar; loud and clear.
"Hey, name’s Apollo for those who don't know me. Last year, I said some fucked up shit about a woman that I've come to care about and I just wanted her to know." He looked directly at me and said, "Lori, I'm sorry, sweetness. Never meant that shit and I hope one day you can forgive me."
He nodded and walked off the stage; while I sat in utter shock of what had just happened.
"Girl, you alright?" Kylie tapped me. "You are pale as a ghost."
"Oh shit." Shay shook her head. "Lori."
His words swirled around in my head and then the song came on by X Ambassadors – Unsteady.
Hold, hold on, hold onto me;
Cause I'm a little unsteady,
I'm a little unsteady
A tear came to my eye and that was when Shay threw some money on the bar and said, "Let's go."
They rushed me out of there as the song played over and over again in my head.
But if you love me, don't let go
If you love me, don't let go
By the time we were outside, tears were pouring down my face as I begin to sob. Uncontrollably crying with shoulders jerking and my emotions as raw as that night. He'd apologized publicly and asked for forgiveness. I would have given my left arm for him to do that months ago. I would have died and gone to heaven with that notion but now when things were going right for me, he wanted to come in and fuck everything up.
"I hate him," I sneered on the car ride home. "I hate him."
"Oh, honey," Kylie mumbled as she moved the hair out of my face.
When we finally arrived to my place, we pulled out the ice cream and talked shit about the brooding son of a bitch who’d made me cry. The sad part was my fiancé wasn't even mentioned.
I hated Connor Locklear.
Well, I didn't hate him but I hated that he made me feel the way I felt.
Torn.
The man must be bipolar or have a multiple personality disorder. Whatever his condition was, I didn't want it to affect mine. It was clear that I had an issue with obsessing over him but the fact that he made a public apology for what felt like the entire town was just absurd.
So absurd that I found myself still fuming the next day; which was why I headed to the compound to give him a piece of my mind. All of my mind because I wasn't planning to hold anything back.
"Apollo here?" I marched into the compound like I owned the place.
"Hey, Lori," Debra called. "Yeah, he's here."
"Thanks," I responded as I marched through the men who were whispering amongst themselves.
"What room?" I yelled back.
"Make two lefts and he's at the end of the hall," she answered.
Once I made it through the dark halls, I banged on the door four times.
"The fuck?" he yelled through the closed door.
The door swung open showing his wrinkled and arched brows but they soothed as recognition hit him. Then he moved out of the way and I charged in, whirled around and begin my rant. I didn’t acknowledge him closing and locking the door.
"Where do you get off embarrassing me like that again? What is it with you? Have you made it your personal mission in life to ruin mine? If so, I'd like to know why." My hands were on my hips and my temperature probably read over one hundred.
"Lori," he called with his hands up. "I'm not trying to ruin your life."
"Well what the hell do you call it?" My arm jerked towards the door. "Getting up in front of everyone to call me out again. Why not take an ad out in the newspaper or get a billboard?"
"If that would get your attention, I would." His arms folded across his bare chest.
"You're unbelievable," I seethed.
"You're here." He smirked.
Why I walked towards him was a question I'd ask myself at a later time, because his arms quickly unfolded as he met me half way.
"I hate you, Connor," I sneered at him.
"No, sweetness. You just wish you did."
We were practically nose to nose. I could smell the toothpaste on his breath and the masculine soap on his skin.
"Shit, I'll even prove it to you. One kiss." His hand moved strands of hair out of my face. "All I need is one and then you decide what you’re going to believe."
"Fuck you, Connor." I went to push him but he grabbed my wrists and pulled me so I came crashing into his hard body.
"One kiss, sweetness."
"Kiss my ass," I seethed.
"Oh, I'll do that too," he said before he dipped down and those lips were on mine.
Holy shit.
My whole body tilted and I was on my back on his bed. His lips began to kiss my neck, breast bone, and he put both nipples in his mouth through my dress.
"You said a kiss!" I tried to back up.
He looked up at me and said, "Not a kiss on those lips but on these."
"Wait, what?" I tried to protest but it was too late.
My dress was up around my stomach, his fingers were pulling my thong down and my legs willingly opened for him.
"God, you're wet for me." His finger rubbed my nub, causing me to bristle. "I've dreamt about this moment."
"Shut up," I snapped.
His eyes met mine and he slapped my wet center. Fireworks went off and I nearly came on the spot. Arching my back with my mouth slightly open for more, I dared to say, "Eat or leave me alone."
Connor smacked my pussy again and again until my legs began to shake, my body started to convulse and I was moaning uncontrollably. Then he began to lap up my juices in between sucking on my taut clit.
"You taste so fucking good," he said before kissing my pussy again.
After my third time cumming in his mouth, I finally moved away from him and stood up. As I pulled down my dress, I looked for my panties but couldn't find them.
"I have to go. Where are my panties?" I asked.
"They're mine now." Connor smirked as he leaned on one elbow and patted his jeans pocket that showed the lacy black underwear hanging out.
"Connor," I stepped closer to the bed. "Give me my panties."
"Sweetness, if you don't want me to turn your sweet ass over, smack it until it's red and fuck you until we both pass out; I suggest you get on out of my room," he said in a stern tone.
I glared at him and started to stomp towards the door when I heard
him say, "Oh, congratulations on the engagement."
A growl escaped my throat as I marched out of his room and back through the compound.
I hated him with a goddamn passion.
Seven
Choices
Apollo:
What were the odds that after stage two of my amends, she’d come knocking at my door? If anything, I thought she'd have come in swinging. Better yet, I thought, she would have put Shay on me.
God, I tasted her lips and her sweet nectar. There was no turning back now. Not only did she come three times but she came when I slapped her wet pussy for being defiant.
Oh fuck, I was hooked and there was no turning back now. All I needed was one kiss. She gave me that plus some. Lori Barrister would be mine and I'd do whatever I had to fucking do to make that happen.
We just bypassed phase three and moved to four. The general population of Manor probably knew that I'd apologized to Lori and now they needed to know, she was mine. Whether she knew it or not.
"Yo, Apollo," Razor called me over at the shop. "Nice job on that bike."
I grunted the acknowledgment of his words.
"For real, nice fucking job." He hit me on the back. "The owner is out of his mind about it. He wants to meet you."
"I'm good."
"Naw, you will be. Come over to the house tonight, he'll be there and I'm grilling." Razor nodded. "Could be a career changer."
The man was such a forward thinker it was sometimes hard to keep up with him. This made him a good president. The fact that he was a doer and a finisher made him a great president.
"Alright," I agreed.
"Good."
"Going into town," I told him. "Need anything?"
"Naw," he said as he headed into the office.
As I was strolling through the aisle at the hardware store, a few folks were looking at me oddly. Then an older lady walked up to me and asked, "You that Apollo boy?"
"Yes, ma'am," I responded.
"Thought so. I heard about what you did to a lady's yard near Baltic. How much you charge for something like that?" she asked.
"Uh, that was a gift. I don't do stuff like that," I replied.
"Well, ya should. Here’s my number and give me a price, ya hear." She whipped out her business card and kept walking down the aisle.
By the time I reached the cashier in the front, three more people wanted things done to their yard and wanted quotes. Immediately, I thought of Razor and what he said about career changes. It looked like my options had simply opened up out of nowhere or maybe I was being more open.
After I finished working at the garage, I called Big Joey to set up the meet. A fellow army brother, named Goliath, was stopping by but before he came I needed to handle some business. Around four-thirty and right on que, Lori walked through the bar and called for Big Joey.
When he directed her to me, sitting on the far end of the place, she visibly sighed.
"Connor, give me my bank card," she said with a sigh.
"I will. Have a seat and let's chat." I motioned for her to sit on the other side of me.
"No, just give me my card." She folded her arms over her chest.
I sat back and stared at her. God, she was so beautiful, even when she was angry. What was I thinking a year ago? What fool in their right mind would turn her away?
Me.
Not anymore.
"Sit, Lori," I projected the base in my voice. "We talk and I give you the card. That's the deal."
"I'll order another one." She dropped her arms and went to turn to leave.
"You never struck me as a coward. All I want to do is talk. We're in public, so you won't have to worry about me trying to kiss you or anything. That's what you want right?" I asked.
This stopped her from leaving and then she turned and sat in the booth where I wanted her.
"What?" she hissed.
"We've never talked since that day and I wanted to tell you to your face, I'm sorry." I put both hands on the table with my palms up. "Fucked up, Lori and I shouldn't have done it."
"We can agree on that." She nodded.
"I've been diagnosed with obsessiveness, attention deficit disorder and I'm sure I have some other shit I haven't got the official diagnoses for." Her eyes grew big. "I'm telling you this to say, I recognized the symptoms and even though you were over the top, I should have done something else."
Her head reared back. "I was what?"
"Over the top, Lori. You were spiraling out and you know it," I whispered.
She blinked and shook her head.
"Well, I got help," she countered.
"Yeah, sweetness. You did. Proud of you," I said.
"Don't call me that and I don't care what you are," she said.
"How long you going to be mad at me? Forever?" I asked. "Just want to know how long I should plan to beg for your forgiveness before I can take you as my own."
"Are you mad?" She gasped. "There's no goddamn way, I'd ever..."
She cut herself off and shook her head.
"Listen, we can play this little game if you want. I kiss you, you go and get engaged." I moved forward, so only she could hear me. "I make you cum three times and what next, you plan to elope just to escape the inevitable. I fucked up, sweetness, but you're fucking up now. You don't love that man. Why put him through that shit? You of all people should know how that feels; an unrequited love. So, Iet me be clear. I'll keep fighting for you, stealing those moments, seeking your forgiveness until you're mine. Those are my cards."
With that statement, I put my palms on the table and her look of shock turned to a glare.
“You think because you make some declaration of love, that’s all it takes. All things are forgiven? No, Connor, it does not work that way. You utterly humiliated me and for what? Yes, I was over the top, as you say. Yes, I needed a wake-up call and I got the help I needed. But you think all is well and forgiven. You think because I’m engaged now and haven’t thought about you, not one goddamn bit, that you can come in and sweep up the roadkill you left in your wake? Well,” she leaned in, “fuck you and the bike you rode in on.”
When she went to stand up, I grabbed her wrist and said, “Sweetness, you can be mad as a rattlesnake but I’m telling you, as the sun is yellow and the sky is blue, you’ll be mine. Every goddamn inch of you. For keeps. Want to know how I know, because we’re just right for each other. Fucked up in many ways, but we understand that shit better than anyone. Baby, you’re brave and I commend you on that. I’m a dick but I swear to you, I’ll spend my life fixing that shit. I won’t rest till I do.”
Lori shook her head, snatched her arm away from me and said, “Well, don’t rest. See if I care.”
Then she walked off and bumped into the next person I was planning to meet up with, Goliath. His eyebrows were up, so I simply laughed and said, “Now, tell me you got some wisdom on how to tame that.”
He shook his head and said, “Fuck, I came here looking for some wisdom from you.”
We laughed and talked some more about our women, trying to make amends or fix the shit we fucked up during the process. After a while, Razor and Bronx came by to talk membership with him. He seemed to be a solid dude looking for some good brothers and one thing was for sure; The Guardians were definitely that.
That night, after we all left Pepper's, I went to Razor and Kylie's place. The woman was getting bigger in the middle area and seemed to actually glow, if that was even possible. She said she was tired, so Razor carried her up the stairs while she protested the entire time and when he came back down, he had a smile on his face.
"Can see you're excited," I smiled as I sipped on the beer.
"Yes, I fucking am," he laughed. "Best thing that's ever happened to me besides Mace."
"How's he doing?" I asked about his first born.
"Great, we facetime almost every other night, since they have him traveling all over the country. He's having a blast." He sat down on the long sofa adjacent to me. "Now, w
hat about you?"
"About what?" I asked.
"Your next steps. Seems like you can go a few different ways. That owner, he wants to meet up with ya and he's got a lot of rich, bike-riding friends too." Razor lifted the beer to his lips and continued, "My point is that you're skilled with your hands. Always have been. What you going to do about that?"
I laughed and said, "You always see shit about me I don't see."
"That's cause you ain't looking." Razor asked. "You making a move for Lori?"
My eyes met his sharp ones that always seemed to see right through me.
"Yeah."
"Okay, you have a shit load of money that’s in CD's and bonds from Guardian International. Including your work, missions, and our annual payouts. You have no debt and I know you must have a load of money from your time in the army. You live free and with that freedom, you have choices." Razor put down his beer. "Now, what will you choose?"
The man told no lies and yet managed to challenge me at the same time. I never looked at anything that came into my accounts or ledger with the Guardians but if I'd been with them for almost ten years, with no rent, car payment and the same bike that I paid for outright. I did have options, more options than I realized.
I left the President with more options and a small plan began to form in my head. Once I thought it through, then I'd act.
Lori had a steady routine for the most part and Saturday's were her days to go grocery shopping. Therefore, when we ran into each other in the diary aisle, she said, "You do know stalking is illegal. I should know."
I actually burst out laughing at her comment until my stomach started to ache. When I could open my eyes long enough to focus on her, she had stopped moving and was staring at me.
"I can't remember seeing you laugh, ever," she said absently.
This caused me to abandon my cart and approach her. "There are a lot of things you haven't seen from me."
She blinked and took a step back. "Connor, seriously. Leave me alone."
