by Xyla Turner
"Need to talk with you," Connor whispered.
I whispered back, “Leave me alone, Connor.”
“I need to talk to you now, Lori. Now are ya coming or am I putting you over my shoulder?” He was no longer whispering.
“Fuck,” I exclaimed and turned towards the door to leave with him trailing behind me.
I dared not look at my girls but instead burst through the door. There Connor grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back further into the parking lot behind a truck.
"What the fuck was that this morning?" he said through gritted teeth. "The best night of my life and I wake up to a vacant bed and house."
"I had to go and handle some business," I replied with my arms over my chest.
"Lori, don't fuck with me, not you of all people. Don't fuck with my head. You know what last night meant and you just bailed." Connor was livid.
"I'm not sure what it meant for you." I unfolded my arms and glared back at him. "For me, it was an old dream come true but that was it. Nothing more and it's over. So, we move on with our lives."
"You're not this bitch you've portrayed yourself to be. Cursing, short hair, fancy clothes, nice ride; this isn't the Lori I know." He was shaking his head.
"No, the Lori you know was pining after you like a love-sick puppy. Stalking and following you like the sick person she was and after her wake-up call, that ended. No more," I explained. "That Lori is not coming back, Connor."
"I don't want that Lori back. I want my Lori back. She was kind-hearted, sweet, simple and honest." He took a step towards me and said, "I want my Lori back."
My face moved into his where I sneered, "You never had Lori."
"Bullshit," he snapped back. "Told you the first two times, one kiss would prove it all."
His forehead hit mine. We were breathing heavy. My heart was racing and my adrenaline was pumping. His body was pressed against mine and my hands were on his chest, while his right hand had my hair in a possessive grip.
“Connor, we cannot do this, okay?” I was pleading.
“Why?” Connor said through gritted teeth. “Why won’t you fucking admit it. It’s okay to want to be with me. Nobody cares about before. I was drunk, fucked up, and out of my mind. How long will you make me pay for that shit? Told you, I know about it. I know what it’s like.”
“You’ll never understand.” I shook my head. “You don’t get it. You fucking humiliated me. The whole town has cried for poor Lori. Feel sorry for Lori. She was so in love and now I’ve been publicly embarrassed. You think now I can just go out with you, like nothing ever happened. Like, oh poor Lori, finally got her man. No!”
I pushed against him.
“I’ll never be with you. Never!” I yelled because he needed to leave me alone.
“Even though you love me. Even though, I told you I’d spend my life making it up to you. Even though you want me more than that prick you were thinking of marrying. Despite all of that, you care what people think. You’re better than that. You came back and said, fuck me. Now why can’t you say, fuck them?” Connor asked as he let me go.
I straightened my clothes and sneered, “I won’t say fuck them because they weren’t the one who stole my heart, crushed it into a million tiny pieces and then tried to waltz back in my life to tell me to get over it.”
Tears started pouring down my face.
“They didn’t do that, Connor. You did. Now, for the last time, leave me the fuck alone. We will never be!”
Those were my parting words as I turned the opposite way and went back towards the bar. I heard him calling after me, but as soon as I got back inside, I went through the side door so I could leave undetected. Connor wouldn't stop and I was not in the mood to deal with his shit.
The tears wouldn't stop coming down my face nor would his declaration that I loved him stop running through my mind.
Why was he doing this to me?
I just wanted to live my life and I'd reconciled that it would be free of Connor Locklear when I was away. That dream died when I cut too deep.
It died and it needed to stay dead because that sick version of Lori could not live again.
Nine
Serious Shit
Apollo:
My pen moved at the speed of lightning over my notepad of shit I had to get done, people I had to talk to, and merchandise I had to buy. Even Shay could help me with some of the things I needed to get.
It would take some time to get everything together but this was phase five of my plan. Some of the things I should have started before but now I knew I had to come to the table with something else besides a big cock and wicked tongue. Women grew sick of that shit if they didn't feel financially secure, and of course physically and emotionally stable.
When I told Razor what I was trying to do, he said, "You're shitting me, right?"
"The fuck I'm not." I stood on the other side of his desk. "I told you, I'm going to get her by any fucking means necessary. Best place to do that is on her turf."
"Listen, I'm not knocking it. Shit, it's brilliant. I just know you like to live free. Work when you want, do what you want, wherever you want. So, you're talking about buying a fucking house right next to hers and starting one of those landscaping-gardening businesses?"
One side of his salt and pepper goatee was turned up along with the parallel eyebrow.
"Fuck is the point of living free when that freedom and life is wrapped up in someone else? It's like walking around unfulfilled and the point is to be full. Right?" I asked the man who had pulled me out of a shit hole.
Razor's face returned to normal as he eyed me before he said, "Fucking, bingo. I'm walking around with all these declarations about the type of woman I wanted, how old she had to be and how she could always leave in the morning. Fucking Kylie came and bust all that shit wide open. Didn't know it before, but I wasn't living. Now, I'm fucking living with my old lady by my side, about to have my second child. That's my partner, my goddamn rib and that's living."
My head shook.
"I want that, Raze. I didn't know it. I never envied you or Bronx or the other married guys. Never. But I want that now and only with her. It ain't cause I can't have her. It's just her and on some level it was probably always her," I confessed.
Razor leaned forward and said, "What can I do to help?"
"Well, going to need a realtor, somebody to go over my finances with, and anybody that can help with starting a business. I have a couple of jobs lined up but I want to make sure I have insurance just to make everything legit."
"Done," Razor said, as he started going through his old-school rolodex. "Don't start your shit about my system either."
I laughed at the President but after the fifth number I plugged in my phone, I was grateful he had any system.
My time at Peppers had been scarce with trying to get everything together. All that shit was a job and a half in itself. Shay came by to visit me one day but we had to cut it short since I had to go sign the papers for the house.
"What are you up to?" she asked.
"Normal shit," I answered.
"Naw, you're up to something. Won't you tell me a little bit?" she chided.
"Yeah, if you do something for me."
"Depends." Her eyebrow raised.
"I need some professional pictures of Lori's yard," I told her as I gathered my cut and slid it on.
"That's it?" she asked.
"Yeah."
"Okay, then you got to tell me why."
"I'm starting my own landscaping business. Nobody knows except Razor and Bronx and it stays that way. Right?" I narrowed my eyes on her.
"Right, right."
She nodded. "Wow, Apollo. This is some serious shit."
"Yeah, I guess," I said, walking towards the door.
Shay grabbed my arm and said, "No, Apollo. This is serious. No guessing involved. I'm happy for you."
I put my arm around her neck as we left my room and said, "Thanks Shay. It must be legit because you
say whatever the fuck you want."
"Well, there you go." She patted my chest.
"You know, I never understood y'alls friendship before but I get it." Bronx turned the corner and looked at us suspiciously.
"What?" Shay asked.
"The two of y'all. Both of you are some hard-headed mother fuckers, who speak before you think, and are probably more alike than different with your bar brawls and shit."
I looked at Shay and sighed. "Guess that's us."
We both laughed and then she left me and got under Bronx’s arm. "But this is my real partner."
"Oh, everybody knows." We laughed again. "Alright guys, I got to run but go break a headboard or some shit."
"Will do," Bronx called back as I headed out.
As I was about to get on my bike, I saw a familiar man approaching me. My leg came back down as I reached for my side-pocket knife.
“Apollo,” Henry called.
“Yeah,” I answered as I opened my stance and squinted at the punk.
“You should stay away from Lori,” he mimicked my stance but remained on the other side of my bike.
“You forget where you’re at?” I asked.
“Stay away from her,” he repeated.
That comment had me moving around the bike to face him directly.
“Or?” I asked.
“Don’t you think you’ve done enough.” He wasn’t deterred by my proximity to him. “She’s suffered enough from the hands of you.”
“You think you’ll do better?” I was in his face. “You think you can take care of her better than me? Watch out for her, protect her, and meet all her needs?”
His face blanched.
“Look, she called off your engagement.” I reminded him. “I had nothing to do with that shit so if I were you, I’d stay out of Guardian territory and away from Lori.”
“Despite appearances, I’m not scared of you.” Henry stepped forward.
“Despite my actions thus far.” I pulled my hunting knife out of my pocket and moved the release latch, causing the crisp sound of a blade finding freedom. “I will slit you from chin to navel if you keep testing my patience.”
The coward went pale and took a step back.
“That’s how you plan to protect Lori?” he asked. “With violence?”
“Every fucking time.” I leaned in. “Listen, dumb ass. If I were you, I’d get gone. I’m in a good mood but you’re pushing it.”
“I love her.” The man seemed resolute.
“The sad part is you believe that shit.” I shook my head. “You’ve been engaged four times in three years. If you at any point thought that you were going to swoop in and just take her for a ride, you were seriously out of your mind. Her friends would have hurt you before we did. Leave her the fuck alone, boy.”
My knife was in his face as I tried to emphasize my point.
“Everything alright?” Shiz was walking over as his hand moved toward the back of his pants for his gun, no doubt.
“Is it?” I asked.
Henry’s head nodded quickly as he turned and walked down the dusty road to his car.
“Fuck is that about?” Shiz asked me as a long brown car pulled up in front of the shop.
“He trying to find his balls,” I answered and mounted my bike.
“Holy fuck,” Shiz gasped.
“What?” I turned around to see Shiz staring at the woman who just vacated the car. “You know her?
At first he didn’t respond, then he said, “Know her. She just fucked up my bike yesterday. A case of mistaken identity. What the fuck is she here for?”
“Wait, that was your bike looking like somebody chewed it up for lunch?” I laughed.
“Yup.” He was shaking his head as the woman turned towards us and pointed at Shiz.
“You,” she called.
“Oh, fuck,” I murmured.
“Why’d you call the insurance company?” she yelled across the dirt covered road that separated the shop from the rooms.
“Excuse me?” Shiz asked in confusion.
“You heard me,” she replied.
The woman was a short thing with meat on her bones and in all the right places.
“Lady, the fuck are you doing here?” Shiz snapped back at her.
“Why did you call the insurance company?” she asked again with her spikey black hair gelled up, a short jacket on and fitted jeans with a pair of designer boots.
“Because they needed to pay so my shit could get fixed,” he replied.
“I told you, I would cover it,” she snapped. “We agreed.”
“No, darling. I agreed to no such thing. You said you would cover it and I called my insurance company. I don’t fucking know you and you crushed my bike like a goddamn roach because you were having a temper tantrum over some guy that had loved and left you?” Shiz shook his head as he folded his arms over his chest. “No fucking way was I going to let you cover it. I’d rather insurance deal with it.”
Her big eyes grew wide, then they narrowed on my brother.
“I had it and now thanks to you, they’ve taken my license away. You idiot!” She was screaming.
“Lady, don’t bring your ass on Guardian turf with your drama. Take that shit back with you to crazy town.” Shiz pointed to her car.
On that note, I was about to take off when I heard sobbing. I looked back at the two, she was crying loudly and had turned to move towards her car.
“Fuck,” Shiz sighed. “Listen, my fault.”
He walked after her and touched her shoulder.
“Look, I’m sorry.” Shiz tried to console her.
“No, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have crushed your bike.” Her head was shaking. “It’s just that these guys from a bike club jumped my brother in front of his girlfriend and I thought this was the Viper’s territory.”
“What did you say?” I asked as I hopped off my bike.
“Uh,” she turned my way and blinked away the tears.
“Where did this happen?” I asked.
“Right outside of Manor,” she answered. “He was at the Puff Bar.”
“Come with me,” Shiz interjected, talking to the lady. “I got this, Apollo.”
I nodded my head and rode off because it was clear Shiz had this one in more ways than one.
It took a little over a month but once everything was signed, I had the keys and had already hired the contractors to expand the back yard. My website had been completed for the business and I had five job images posted including Lori's with more business lined up. Razor found me a place to rent for the business storefront, an office manager to run everything and some workers to help with the labor.
Everything was coming together and for once I felt closer to freedom than I ever had before.
I really didn't have a lot of shit inside the house and I usually came by just to check on things during the day. However, the contractors needed to finish the final touches on the backyard on a Saturday morning. I had hoped it was one of those days where she had 'something ' to do but as luck had it, this would not be that day.
Around nine-thirty in the morning, someone started banging on the front door. I opened it and there stood Lori with her mouth wide open when she realized it was me.
"Connor?" she gasped.
"Lori," I answered.
"What are you …. I mean, I'm looking for the owner. He's somewhere banging around in the back there way too early in the morning." She tried to conjure up her anger again.
"That'll be me and yeah, sorry about the banging. They're finishing up."
For a moment, she simply blinked causing those long lashes to flutter.
"You're the owner?" she asked.
"Yes." My head nodded to confirm.
She turned her body and looked up the street and then back towards her house.
"So, you mean to tell me." She was standing there in pajama pants, a tank with a robe draped over her. "You purchased the house directly next to mine out of all the homes in
this area that are for sale?"
"That's what I did." I clarified.
Her lip turned up and then she shook her head. When she was about to turn and leave, I pulled her inside.
"Wait, Lori." I had a firm grip on her hand. "Can you just hear me out?"
"Why? You're crazier than I am." She kept blinking like she was trying to wake up.
"That may be true but I'm crazy with a purpose," I countered.
"At one time, I was crazy with a single purpose,” she said. “It was you. Good thing I have found a different purpose in life."
"And now, mine is you."
This caused her to stop and look at me.
"Hear me out." I loosened my grip on her hand and started the twenty-five cent tour. "This is where I want the living room, okay. The dining area here and here's the kitchen. I had some renovations done to it as well. I really wanted an island. Come on, follow me outside, so you can see what I've done with the yard so far."
She willingly followed me and when I slide the doors open for the wrap-around stone deck with built-in grill, Lori gasped.
"Wow, Apollo," she finally said. "This is beautiful."
She started moving away from me and exploring everything. Her eyes were big and it was clear she loved everything.
"Out there," I pointed towards the contractors, "is where I'm going to have the pool installed."
"You're going to have a pool?" Lori exclaimed with excitement.
"Yeah, sweetness." I was smiling to see her get excited.
"Wow, Apollo." She nodded. "This is very adult of you."
"Things change, so do we. Right?" I challenged.
She looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, we do."
"Yeah," I looked back at the yard. "I want a fire pit right there and a swing set over there."
Her head snapped to me, as she repeated, "Swing set? You're having kids?"
"One day, yeah. However, in the meantime, I'll have some god-kids running around this place between Razor and Bronx. Until my own, you know?"
"Hmm, never thought of you as a kid kind of guy." Lori looked at the space where I said I wanted the set.
