by Bella Grant
“I feel bad for him.”
“I know you do, sweetie, because you’re too nice. You’ll find a real man to love you one day, and he won’t be threatened by you and feel the need to have you under his thumb.”
I didn’t respond to her. The way I felt in that moment, I didn’t see myself being with anybody for a long time. I’d had this romantic notion that the man I gave myself to would be the man for me, but that was shattered. There were other things out there as bad as cheating, and I had just discovered a few in Jake.
5
Liam
“See ya, Todd!” I called to the manager of Sonik as I left the store. Another work day was over at the music store where I was a retail worker. It wasn’t the most glamorous job in the world, but at least I was comfortable in a familiar environment while I figured out what the next step would be. During my break, I had called the guys and asked if they wanted to grab a couple beers after work, and both had agreed to meet at Outback where we could get some grub as well as catch the live game.
I could stay out until my parents were asleep. Our relationship had become even more uncomfortable since our blowout the other day. On a scale of one to ten, the tension in the house was at an eleven. They were sticking to their guns that I had to leave by the end of the week, which was fine by me. It was time to move out anyway. My concern was that it was taking me far too long to find an apartment I could afford. On a measly retail worker’s salary, paying rent on my own would be a huge setback.
If I didn’t find a roommate on that website I’d signed up for the other night, I would have to dip into my savings and rent on my own. Contrary to my parents’ belief, I didn’t spend all my money on booze and partying. I always tried to save as much as I could—which I admitted would be more if I stopped drinking. I didn’t see that changing anytime soon, though. Like my music, drinking kept me in a state where I didn’t have to think about how shitty my life was.
When I got to Outback, Shawn was already there and we embraced, slapping each other on the back before we took our seats. Shawn and I had been friends since high school where we both played on the football team at Minor High. We were as thick as thieves, and I considered him a brother. He was more of a family to me than my own parents. For one, I could relate to him in ways I could never relate to my own family.
Shawn was a few inches shorter than me with red hair and hazel eyes. He also had a little extra padding of fat since, unlike me, he never made any attempts to exercise. He had already started on a plate of Aussie cheese fries and a bottle of Corona.
“I thought Nate would be here by now,” I commented after giving the waitress my order. She was a pretty blonde who smiled at me, showing a whole lot of cleavage, but I had way too much on my mind to give her more than a passing glance. Women were always available, but I had to find a solution to my apartment crisis fast.
“No, man. He sent me a message that he won’t be here,” Shawn responded. “It’s that girl he’s started dating. The chick is tripping whenever he goes out. I’m sure glad you’re still single, and it’s not changing any time soon.”
“Not likely. Especially if I don’t find an apartment. I can’t see a girl settling for a guy living out of his car. A one-night in the backseat, maybe, but nothing more than that.”
“I’m sure it’s not that bad. You haven’t had any luck finding an apartment?”
“It’s finding an apartment I can afford that’s the problem,” I replied in dismay. “I signed up for a website that pairs you with a potential roommate, but I haven’t had any luck.”
“What? You’re joking, right? What if you end up rooming with a crazy person?”
I shrugged. “At this moment, I’ll take anyone as long as they don’t get in my way. The website has this questionnaire you fill out about your lifestyle and habits and then they pair you up with someone they think is suitable for you. I probably should have paid more attention to answering the questions. Maybe they figured the things I wrote were far from the truth.”
The waitress returned with my Budweiser, a plate of Bloomin’ Onions, and a promise my steak would be ready soon. I thanked her and turned to my friend, who was looking at me incredulously.
“What?”
“That waitress is flirting with you, man,” he announced. “And you’re acting as though you don’t realize it.”
Before I could respond, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I slid my iPhone out and saw an email from the roomie matchmaking website, alerting me that I had a message. I followed the external link to the message and read. It was from a girl who had an apartment and was looking for a roommate. I was somewhat familiar with the location and it was in a decent part of town. I selected her profile, which I could now view since the website had matched us. Like me, she didn’t have a profile picture up, but she had filled out all her profile information, even the ones which were optional. I had left those blank, filling out only what was necessary. I wondered what it said about her that she had taken the time to fill out all the details.
“Well, damn, you won’t believe this,” I announced. “There’s someone interested.”
“In what?” Shawn asked, signaling to the waitress for another beer.
“In me for a roommate,” I explained. “And the apartment is in Hickory Knolls, a pretty decent area and just a few minutes away from the mall. This looks like a winning situation here. Except the roommate is a girl.”
“Is she cute?” he prodded inquisitively.
“I don’t know. She doesn’t have a pic up. What does it matter if she’s cute? She’s a roommate, not a girlfriend.”
“But it sure wouldn’t hurt if she’s a looker.”
I frowned at him and looked at the girl’s information on my phone. “I don’t know, man. Living with a girl—especially one I don’t know—may be a little awkward.”
“If anything, she should be the one concerned about living with a strange man,” Shawn pointed out. “What’s the worst that could happen to you in this scenario? She paints your toenails pink?”
I scowled at him as he guffawed, thinking he’d cracked a good joke. “I guess it can’t be that bad,” I admitted. “I don’t have much of a choice since I’ve got to be out of my parents’ house in a few days and it’s not like I have a string of offers.”
I tapped out a message expressing interest and hit the send icon. I placed the phone on the table as the waitress arrived with my medium-rare steak and baked potato topped with honey butter, brown sugar, and cinnamon. I asked her to bring me a fresh Budweiser and dug in while watching the basketball game on one of the flat screens displayed at every angle of the restaurant.
“Thanks.” I smiled at the waitress as she brought over the beer. With all the attention she gave me, I’d have to give her a decent tip. Halfway through the steak, my phone buzzed on the table top. It was a message from my potential roommate.
“Awesome! I might have kind of let on that I already had the apartment but I don’t. We can definitely get it, though, if you are interested. I’m going to view the apartment tomorrow at 7 a.m. with the real estate agent and hope to close the deal tomorrow. Can you make it?”
I frowned at her message. Damn right I’d believed she already had the apartment, but I couldn’t turn down the offer since I didn’t have any other option. I sent her back a message.
“You’re right. I thought you already had the apartment. How can you be so sure you’ll get it?”
“Who are you talking to?” Shawn asked inquisitively.
“It’s that chick for the apartment. Turns out she doesn’t actually have the apartment yet but wants me to view it with her tomorrow.”
“At least it’s something,” he responded.
Another message came in from her.
“I’m sorry for the misrepresentation, but I need to find a roommate so I can afford the rent. I’ve seen the pictures on the Internet and it’s a big enough two-bedroom apartment. Will you at least view it tomorrow and then you can make up
your mind?”
It’s not as if I have another option, I thought. I had nothing to lose, so I replied and asked for directions to the apartment. She responded with the address as well as her phone number for me to contact her if I changed my mind. I didn’t bother to respond that I wasn’t likely to change my mind, as desperate as I was—just like her.
“So, I guess I’m viewing an apartment tomorrow,” I announced triumphantly. Maybe this was the start I needed to forget about my parents for a while and try and get my life back on track.
Shawn and I had several more beers, and at the end of the night, I knew we wouldn’t get home by driving. We paid our tab, leaving a hefty tip for the waitress along with my number, and holding on to each other, we walked out of the restaurant into the cool night air. We waited for the cab we had called to arrive and sang to the stars at the top of our voices until the manager of the restaurant told us to shut up or he would call the police. In the inebriated state Shawn and I were in, we didn’t care if he called the police, but lucky for us, our cab arrived and we left before causing anymore embarrassment to ourselves.
The cab driver dropped me off first, and I pushed some bills into his hands—I wondered vaguely if, when I sobered up later, I would realize the reason he had peeled away so fast was because I had paid him twice as much as I should have. I tried to enter the house as quietly as I could, mindful that it was close to midnight and my parents were sleeping.
“Shit!” I muttered when I hit the potted plant in the hall, which overturned, spreading dirt all over the floor. I dropped to my knees and scooped up the dirt, trying to dump it back into the pot, leaving streaks of dirt on the floor because my hands were clammy. I tended to get hot and sweaty when drinking, and my body felt like it was burning up.
The light in the hall flickered on, and I blinked crazily until my pupils adjusted to the brightness. In my drunken haze, I saw my mother standing at the foot of the stairs, staring at me with hurt and disapproval in her eyes. I looked away from the condemnation I saw there, feeling the urge to huddle on the floor and cry. Why couldn’t she look at me with love and tenderness the way she used to look at Kyle? Even before his death, she had always looked at me differently than she had my brother. It had been worse since his death.
I heard her footsteps heading back up the stairs, and at that point, I looked up. She was gone. I crawled to my feet and turned off the light in the hall. I located the stairs leading down to the basement, my steps making loud hollow sounds. I got into bed without removing my clothes, my dirt-streaked hands clutching the pillows to my chest as I fell into a deep sleep brought on by emotional exhaustion.
6
Emily
“All the best!”
I hugged Miranda and told her thanks as I left her house, hoping I would have good news to tell her later that evening. It was rather early compared to the time I usually got up for work, but I had been awake before the sun started to come up. Since that guy Liam had responded to my message last night, I’d been on a high. I told myself to calm down in case he turned out to be unsuitable as a roommate, but I was determined to go into this with a whole lot of positive energy.
As I got caught in the morning traffic, I tried to picture what my new roommate was like. I was excited and couldn’t help myself. I thought maybe he was quiet and probably without a lot of friends. After all, who looked for a roommate online?
I hadn't heard from Liam, so I figured we were still on to view the apartment. When I got there and pulled into an empty parking spot, the real estate agent pulled up behind me. She got out of her car a little hastily and instantly walked over to me. She was an attractive woman in her thirties, albeit a little disheveled. The bun she'd created on top of her head was lopsided, and her skirt looked wrinkled as though she'd just grabbed it out the dryer that morning. I had an uneasy feeling about the apartment. I hoped her unkempt state wasn't an indication of what the apartment looked like on the inside.
The exterior was well-kept with trees lining the driveway. It wasn't a high elevator building but rather very long and wide with apartments on top and on the ground floor. Exterior stairs led to the upper apartments. Each apartment had its own parking spot. I was very particular about parking my car on the side of the road, as was the case with some apartments.
"Emily?" she asked, walking towards me.
"Yes, that's me," I answered with a sense of doom. Her shirt hung out the waistband of her skirt and her black shoes needed cleaning. I wondered why such an attractive woman would allow herself to look the way she did. If she was trying to keep men at bay, I was certain this look would work.
She must have noticed my wary focus on her footwear because she shuffled uneasily and apologized for her appearance. "Do forgive my dress this morning, but I didn't get to iron last night. I was helping the kids with their homework, and then I had to get them ready for school this morning. Single mom of four kids."
I instantly felt bad for judging her. "It's fine. I guess I didn't help by requesting such an early viewing, but I didn't want to get to work late."
"I understand. Are you ready to begin the tour?"
I glanced at my watch. It was already ten minutes after seven and still no sign of my roommate. Since I couldn't afford this place without him, I decided we might as well wait for him to arrive. "My potential roommate should be here too," I explained to her. "Why don't we wait a few minutes for him to get here?"
"Certainly, that's fine—and in the meantime, I can brief you about the amenities of the apartment. "
She told me about twenty-four-hour access to maintenance, a laundromat, although each apartment was equipped with its own washer and dryer and other perks, but I could barely listen. Where was he? I had given him my cell phone number for him to call me in the event he couldn't make it. Had it just been a prank and he wasn't serious about getting the apartment?
My heart sank when it was 7:30 and he was still nowhere to be seen. If he'd given me his number, I would have called him, but he hadn't. Without him, I might as well tell Laura it was pointless to see the apartment, but after all the effort she had gone through to make it, despite having four kids to get ready for school, I hated disappointing her.
"I guess something came up and he couldn't make it," I said with false cheer. "Maybe we should just go ahead and look at the apartment."
"Great idea."
Apartment 102 was on top, thank God. I hated living below other tenants. At Jake's apartment, it had sometimes been torture to hear the neighbor's kids running, their footsteps slapping against their floor and our ceiling. We took the flight of stairs, and she opened the apartment to let me in.
I fell in love with it upon walking in. It was spacious—bigger than it looked from the outside—and fully furnished. The kitchen was perfect, with granite counter tops, sufficient cupboards, a double sink and a stove with an oven. Modern appliances such as a coffeemaker, microwave, dishwasher, toaster oven, and kettle were also provided. A window in the kitchen would allow me to open and air out the room when I was cooking so the scent of food wouldn't permeate the apartment.
Just outside the kitchen was a formal dining area which boasted an elegant table with matching upholstered chairs and a small chandelier hanging above. The bedrooms were on opposite sides of the apartment with the living room in between. The living room had a seating set of an arm chair, a long couch, and a loveseat. A glass table was set in the center and on one wall was affixed a 50" flat-screen TV. Just beyond the living room were sliding doors leading to a patio.
The two bedrooms were equally charming with comfortable queen-sized beds, huge matching dressers, twin bedside tables, and reasonably sized closet spaces with folding doors. I had one problem with the apartment. The apartment had one shared bathroom. It was a nice bathroom with shower and bathtub, but I could see how having one bathroom might pose a problem if the roommate I wasn’t sure I still had turned out to be messy.
"You're getting a deal on this apartment," Laura told
me eagerly. "Usually, the apartments are rented partly furnished, but the previous owner married a foreigner and moved away. She donated the furniture since her husband is quite wealthy and she has no need of them."
“Wow, that's generous of her," I exclaimed. "And quite some luck, too, because I'm starting out on my own and have very little at the moment."
"I understand. When I rented my first apartment, I only had a bed in the entire apartment. So, what do you think?"
"I love it," I expressed honestly. "I think it's perfect, but I can't afford it on my own. How long can you hold it? I thought I had found a roommate, but he didn't show today, as you can see, so I will have to search for someone else."
Her face showed her disappointment, as I was sure mine did. "I can hold the apartment for twenty-four hours," she explained as she led me from the apartment. "If you want it to be held longer, you have to pay a quarter of what the monthly rent would be and we can hold it for four weeks."
I digested the information with bitter disappointment. I didn't want to leave the apartment. It already felt like home and I could think of many things I wanted to do to add some splash of color—throw pillows, afghans, rugs, draperies, potted plants. I was so close to having that apartment. Damn that stupid guy Liam for getting my hopes up for nothing!
In the parking lot, I asked Laura to hold the apartment for me for the twenty-four hours and I would get back to her by then if I'd found a roommate or wanted her to hold it for a little while longer. I had enough money to have her hold it for some time, but I’d wanted to avoid paying money for an apartment I couldn’t readily move into.
