by Bella Grant
My legs were shaking and I was breathing hard when my body stopped jerking from the orgasm. Liam kissed up to my neck and his teeth sank into my flesh. He reached for the snaps of his jeans and released the flap. He eased the jeans down his legs and kicked them off with vigorous movements.
It hit me then. I was about to have sex with Liam. My roommate. Oh, damn, I still didn’t know much about him. Did I want to complicate matters between us? Despite this insane attraction, we couldn’t seem to help, we didn’t get along much. I couldn’t see myself being the one-night-stand girl, especially when we would have to co-exist in the same apartment.
“Liam,” I pressed against his shoulder as he lay on top of me and started to nudge my legs apart with his knee. “Liam, no. I can’t.”
His smiling lips turned to a look of confusion as he understood what I was saying. “What?” he asked in disbelief.
“I’m sorry, I can’t,” I whispered, too guilty to look into his eyes. I’d led him on, and he had every right to be angry. “Please, let me up.”
He looked as if he wanted to argue, but he rolled over onto his back. I lay beside him, feeling lower than anything that could come to my mind. He was already devastated, and I had walked into his room, offered my body, and took it away. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t have sex with him. It was way too soon.
“I’m sorry,” I choked out beside him.
“Just go.”
“Liam…”
“Please, Emily. Go.”
I scrambled off the bed with tears in my eyes. I didn’t bother to put on my top but clutched it to my chest. At the bedroom door, I turned back to glance at him. He stared at me, and our eyes met and held. I saw the hurt in their depths. I hung my head in shame and walked out. I should have never started something with him I couldn’t finish. At least he was decent enough to stop.
I stopped at the bathroom to pee and clean up from my climax. I put my top back on and left the bathroom, looking from my bedroom to Liam’s. My heart longed to return to him, but I followed my head and went back to my bedroom. Sleep eluded me. I glanced at my phone and realized it was almost four in the morning. I would have to wake up in two hours for work, but I wouldn’t be able to function with very little sleep.
As much as I tried to, I couldn’t go back to sleep. I had too much on my mind. I relived every bit of Liam’s lovemaking in my mind. He had blown me away with that climax, and I could only imagine what his body was capable of. Maybe one day, I would be able to experience what it would be like for his body to invade mine, but in the meantime, I had to learn more about the man.
More than anything else, I wanted him to trust me enough to tell me about his brother. I needed something that would tell me how he felt. Was he expecting a single bang? I didn’t see him as the commitment type, and I knew it would be awkward for me living with him after having sex and remaining just roommates.
15
Emily
I was serving a plate of eggs and bacons with pancakes when Liam walked into the kitchen. I had been up since six and decided to make breakfast before work. I’d made enough for two, but the whole time I was in the kitchen, I was conscious that he was a few feet away from me in his bedroom. How would I be able to face him after last night? Did I apologize again for leading him on or should I act as though it never happened? I was fonder of the latter option than the former.
When he walked into the kitchen, that option flew right out my head. I wouldn’t be able to forget Liam and the way he’d made me pant and beg him for release last night. Good gracious, I could already feel the heat in my cheeks. I looked away from him, not wanting him to see I was as red as a tomato. Then he would know for sure what I was thinking about.
“Good morning,” he said politely. I wished he hadn’t. I was used to a ‘hi,’ ‘hey,’ or ‘what’s up’ if anything at all from him, and being all polite right now served to remind me last night had happened.
“Good morning,” I answered. “Uh…I made breakfast. I can serve you a plate.”
“You don’t have to cook for me, you know,” he responded softly. “I’m not your responsibility.”
But it feels that way. I couldn’t tell him that, so I stuck with logic. “I always end up making too much anyway, and at least it will prevent me from cluttering up the space in the fridge with food.”
“Okay, then. Breakfast sounds good.”
I sighed with relief and placed my plate on the kitchen counter. I grabbed another from the kitchen cabinet and loaded eggs and bacon onto it. I piled the last two fluffy pancakes from the tray onto his plate and brought it over to rest it at his place on the table. He had pulled up a chair and was seated. As I poured him a cup of coffee, I wondered what I was doing. I was acting like a wife. I had seen my mother do the same for my dad so many times, it seemed like second nature to do the same for Liam. I hadn’t done this when we started living together, though, so what was different now? I didn’t much want to analyze the depth of it.
I poured myself a coffee, sat opposite him, and we ate in silence. I was sure it was a pretty good breakfast, too, but the pancake kept getting stuck in my throat. I was so nervous, I didn’t know what to say. Finally, with a sigh, I got up, scraped the leftovers on my plate into the garbage, and poured warm water into the sink to wash up.
“Go shower. I’ll do them,” Liam announced, getting to his feet and approaching the sink. I backed away because he was so close and I couldn’t stop thinking how our closeness last night had quickly gotten out of hand.
“Are you sure?” I queried uncertainly.
“Yes, I’m sure,” he responded with a smile. “You made breakfast. It’s fair I wash up. Go take your shower. I’m off today so you can use all the hot water.”
“Okay.”
I hurried from the kitchen, conscious of his eyes following me. I could breathe better then. I took his advice and used all the hot water. Technically, one knob should spurt hot water continuously, but it always ran cold after being used for a long time. I loved taking hot showers and would sometimes stand under the stream of water for a while even after my shower was complete.
I blow-dried and curled my blonde hair into waves. I pulled on my uniform, the regular blue jeans and a white afghan camisole. I shucked my comfortable boots today for a pair of sandals. As the summer approached, the temperature was getting warmer and inside the store sometimes tended to get hot.
My dress complete, I grabbed my messenger bag since I had classes after work and headed to the kitchen. I was surprised to see Liam still there. The dishes were washed and put away on the rack to drain and he’d even wiped the table. I was impressed.
“I’m stopping for snacks,” I told him as I went to the box of Sunbelt chewy bars on top of the refrigerator. I didn’t want him to think I was checking up on him to see if he’d done a good job with the kitchen. I got an apple from the fridge as well. I learned that carrying snacks from home saved me money because food was expensive at the mall. Also, it was a smart move considering I sometimes had to work into my lunch break depending on the crowd in the store.
I closed the fridge and turned, almost bumping into Liam. I’d had no idea he had come up behind me. Before I could step back to give him some space, his arms came down on my shoulders. One hand touched the side of my neck where I’d used makeup to try to hide the hickey he had left on me last night—one of several. I’d noticed the red blemishes he’d left on my breasts too. Liam had a fetish for biting, apparently.
“Emily, I…” he started and paused to swallow. “I’m sorry about last night…if I frightened you or took things way too far. I never intended for any of it to happen. I was lost for a minute.”
I peeked up at him from beneath the shroud of my lashes and bit my lip nervously. “It’s okay. It was my fault too.”
“How about it’s nobody’s fault?” he suggested with a lazy smile. “Just one of those crazy things that happen.”
“Yeah, one of those crazy things,” I echoed, but my eyes were fast
ened on his lips and the way they moved with his words, the way his tongue flashed when he said certain things. And I remembered that tongue licking my nipples, and I was getting wet.
“Emily?” he said my name questioningly.
“Hmm?”
I finally looked up from his lips and flushed at the raw desire in his eyes. He wanted it too. We both wanted it. Why should I fight it? I didn’t. I tilted my head, and it was all the encouragement he needed. His hands snaked around my waist and pulled me up against him. I wrapped my arms around his neck at the same time as his lips covered mine. My lips clung to his in need and his hands slipped from my waist down to cup my backside.
He broke the kiss just when I was getting into it and reveling in his groans. “You should get to work,” he reminded me huskily.
“Yes, I should.” I released my hands from around his neck and took a step back. “I’ll see you later.”
“Yeah, later.”
I hurried out of the apartment before I changed my mind about going to work, before I changed my mind about taking things slow with him. I wanted Liam bad. As soon as I got into my car, I retrieved my phone from my bag and tapped out a text to Miranda.
Need to talk to you. Meet me for lunch at the mall?
I received her reply while on the journey, but I didn’t text while driving. I waited until I had parked at the mall before I checked her response.
Not if we’re eating Chick-fil-A. Italian?
Okay, fine. Italian.
She responded in less than a minute. Then it’s a date.
Miranda would more than likely tease me about Liam, but she was the one person I could talk to about last night and all these crazy feelings I had for my roommate.
I couldn’t wait for lunch and was impatient all morning. Miranda texted me at twelve that she was there and checking out the stores, and I should let her know when my break was approved. I finally got my lunch break at one and hurried to Olive Garden, where she said she was holding a table for us—as if the restaurant would be full at this time during the day. When I got there, she was munching on fried mozzarella sticks.
“You couldn’t wait for me?” I asked, snagging a mozzarella from her plate and biting into it. They were delicious and I could see why she liked the restaurant, but it was a little bit too pricey for me to consider eating there often.
“I was starving,” she replied. “And I didn’t know when you would—what the hell is that!”
I stared at her in confusion. “What? Do I have an insect on me?”
“That!” she exclaimed, turning my head to one side and brushing my hair out the way.
“Oh.” She had seen the hickey. “Well, I’m sure you know what it is.”
“Yes, but more importantly, who put it there? Em, you’re not seeing Jake again, are you?”
I shook my head at her. Jake who? “Of course not.”
“But then I don’t—” she started then gasped. “No way! Liam! It’s Liam, isn’t it?”
“Shh,” I shushed her as people in the restaurant turned to us because of the loud chattering. “Before you dissect everything, let’s at least order lunch. You know I don’t get much time.”
I signaled a waitress, and when she came over to our table, I ordered chicken parmigiana with strawberry-passion fruit lemonade. Miranda ordered the shrimp scampi and a peach Bellini. We made small talk until the waitress brought over our order.
“Don’t keep me in suspense,” Miranda said to me when we were digging into our lunches. “What happened? Last time I checked, you couldn’t stand the guy—although, now I think about it, all that passion you spent disliking him was an undercurrent of the lust he made you feel. So how was the sex? Did he make you come?”
I shook my head at her bluntness. I remembered talking to her once about my sex life with Jake, and how hard it was for me to climax with him and how rarely it happened. I had stopped worrying about it when I’d read on the Internet that there were some women who lived their entire lives not knowing what an orgasm felt like.
“We didn’t have sex,” I disclosed. “At least, not fully. There was no…no putting anything of his into anything of mine. We kissed, and well…umm, maybe a touch or two.”
“Wow. So, are you guys in a relationship or what?”
“No!” I denied quickly. “And that’s why I couldn’t let anything more happen last night. I wanted it badly, but it would be too complicated. You know I don’t do the one-night-stand thing.”
“I know, honey, and he’s your roommate,” Miranda agreed. “That’s not a complication you want to start with your roommate. At least wait until you figure out what his feelings are regarding you. Men are jerks, Em, and he may simply be trying to get into your panties and then quit. The old ‘hit it and quit it’ hookup.”
Something died a little inside me at Miranda’s plain speaking. She hadn’t said anything I hadn’t thought of, which was the reason I’d stopped Liam from filling me with his stiff rod last night. Hearing it from her mouth, though, hurt. Was Liam like that? Was that how he saw me? As someone he could hit and then quit?
The rest of lunch was quiet. I couldn’t say much more about Liam without sounding like an idiot. Talking about him made me a little breathless, and if I noticed, she had to as well.
When my lunch was up, I hugged and thanked her for coming, and headed back to Hollister. The rest of the day, my mind was on Liam, trying to figure out what I would do about him. We were wildly attracted to each other, but that wasn’t a good enough reason to sleep with him. I shifted my thoughts from the weird relationship between us to the fact that he obviously had problems to sort out, which he made no effort to do. I was convinced if he had something meaningful in his life, like taking his music seriously, things would change for him.
I got off at three and made my farewells. I grabbed a smoothie from one of the restaurants and headed to my car. I had to get to my class on Consumer Behavior at four, which reminded me I needed to add this smoothie to my project. Not wanting to forget, I took my phone out and opened the excel file I used to keep track of my purchases. I was almost at my car when I ran into someone.
“Oops!” I cried and stepped back. “I’m so—” The words trailed off as I stared at Jake standing in front of me. My skin crawled, and I glanced around the parking lot. Several cars were parked there on the second deck, but nobody was around.
“You don’t look too happy to see me, Emily,” he said with disappointment. “Why not? I’m glad to see you. I’ve missed you.”
“I have to go to class,” I murmured and stepped around him. I hurried to my car and placed my phone and the smoothie on top of the vehicle while I pawed through my bag for my car keys. Dammit, where were they? My hands grasped them in relief, and I inserted the right one in the keyhole and turned. I tried to open the door, but Jake crowded behind me and pushed the door shut. I was trapped between him and the car.
“I just want to talk to you a few minutes,” he said in a wounded tone. “Why are you in such a hurry to get away?”
I turned to face him. He was so close, and I smelled tobacco on his breath. Was he smoking? He’d quit before we had gotten together. Why had he picked up the habit again?
“I told you, Jake,” I answered him shakily. “I have class and need to go. Why…why don’t you call me and-and I’m sure we can decide when to meet and talk.”
“You think I’m stupid?” he asked on a laugh. “You don’t answer my calls. You ignore them, and I don’t know why. Em, I want you back. Why don’t you want me back?”
I cringed when he raised his hand, thinking he was about to strike me, but he ran his fingers through my hair, smoothing it over my shoulders. Oh, God, please, please, please. Don’t let him see. But it was already too late. I could tell by the stiffening of his body and the stillness of his hand.
“What is this?” he demanded, his voice no longer gentle and caring. He pushed my head roughly to one side while his finger rubbed the hickey on my neck as if trying to
erase the sign of it. “Is this a hickey?”
“It’s none of your business,” I retorted, but holes were blown into my bravado by the shakiness in my voice.
“You got a boyfriend?” He slammed me hard into the car, knocking the wind out of my body. “You have another man fucking you? You bitch! You’re supposed to be mine!”
He slapped me across the face and I cried out. “Jake, don’t.”
He grasped me by the neck, a crazed look in his eyes. He pressed his finger into my neck over the love bite, digging into the skin as if he could scrape it off.
“You’re hurting me!” I screamed. “Jake, don’t.”
Stinging pain meant he had broken the skin, but he scraped with his finger nails, determined to rid me of the mark Liam had put on me. As he dug deeper into my flesh, my hand went into my bag and grappled inside. I located the small bottle of pepper spray and ran my finger over the tip this time to ensure I located the exit point. The last thing I wanted to do was to spray myself again. I knew I would get one attempt before I could get away.
I aimed the pepper spray at his eyes and sprayed. We were so close some of the fumes got into my own. He screamed and stepped back, almost clawing his eyes out. He fell back against a car, rubbing at his eyes, and the alarm sounded. I didn’t hesitate. I grabbed my phone and the smoothie from the car top and jumped into my car. I was shaking badly. I started the car and wrenched the steering wheel, making a turn so sharp I barely managed to miss hitting him. He ran after my car, pounding the windows insistently even though tears ran from his red eyes.
“Fucking open the door!” he screamed at me. “I’m gonna kill you, you bitch! I love you, Emily.”
He was demented, I was convinced. The tires of my car squealed as I burned rubber getting out of there. I wouldn’t give him enough time to get in his car and follow me to the apartment. I was shaking so badly I wouldn’t be able to handle classes.
I prayed Liam would be out when I got home.
