by Nicole Snow
“It was a mistake...a big one. I didn't have much choice.” She looked scared again, eyes darting quickly past me. “He's someone my brother knows. Jordan thought I'd be safe with him.”
“Safe from what?” I demanded.
Fuck. If there were more threats to her, I wanted to lay them flat into the ground, and then lay into her...
“He's just a little jumpy. Jordan's been running around since Mom got really bad and left town. He just came back to us. Got himself into some bad business. Petty weed sales, mostly. You know...the usual.”
Weed? That didn't sound like Grizzlies' business. They pushed harder shit, the kind of stuff that started wars with the Mexican cartels coming north of the border.
None of this added up. There was one question I had to ask point blank.
“Is Jordan a member of the Grizzlies MC?”
She looked at me intently. Her eyes didn't waver, and I watched hard, looking for any sign of hesitation or bullshit.
No, baby. Don't you fucking lie to me.
“More like a hang around. He supplies them with some stuff. The guy I was with was just passing through. Jordan had to take off, and I needed to pick up medicine for my mother. She's really sick. He pretty much forced me to take this guy, Dubs, with me. Said it was for my own good.”
“Your brother sounds like a little bitch. No offense.”
Could a guy say it at all without being offensive? Fuck it.
Saffron didn't take it too hard because she gave me that soft little smile again. This angel face wouldn't bullshit me, would it?
“That's all, then? It's just your brother involved? How the hell did he know Dubs?”
“That's all, Blaze. Just my brother being a fucking idiot. Jordan's his dealer, sometimes a middle man for other deals. Dubs was only passing through here, I'm sure. It's my rotten luck too. You saw how I was the lucky girl to get punched in the face when June was running the strip club...”
Girl had a point. Somehow, it made me want to help her even more. I wanted to throw myself between her and everything Lady Luck had in store while Luck was in bitch-mode.
“Jordan's dumb, but he meant well. He was trying to look out for me. Just like someone else I know...” She looked right at me. Fuck if I didn't stiffen. “Only he made a really, really bad mistake. Jesus, I'm not sure how I'll ever get back to normal.”
I grabbed her hands with both of mine, fire rising in my throat. “You'll forget about this. Forget about last night. Forget about calling me. Forget about the dead man.”
Her face twisted in agony. She looked away. I pulled her hands tighter, pissed at losing her when we'd been making progress.
“Can't we go to the police?” she pleaded, giving my fingers a squeeze. “They'll understand. They'll get it, if I just tell them the truth. It was self-defense! Anyone can see it.”
“That's bullshit, Saffron.” I grabbed her chin with one hand and forced her to look at me. “You killed a man. You called me up to help you dump the body and mop up blood. You did the right thing, but it doesn't change facts.”
“It's Shelly,” she said softly. “I don't use that stage name anymore. I'm not a stripper and I'm not a killer, Blaze.”
I nodded. More than a little sarcasm burned through me. She couldn't be doing this to me. I had to get her fucking head straight.
“Blaze...” She wrinkled her nose, repeating my name. “What's up with that name anyway?”
“It's my road name, baby. Whole lot more exciting than Michael, don't you think? Some of us like a name with some spice. Wouldn't revert to my civilian name for the whole damned world.”
“If it works for you,” she said, turning her nose up slightly. “You really expect me to just walk away and keep this a secret?”
“That's exactly what you'll do. There's not a second option here, babe.”
The girl picked up on my bullshit right away. She snatched her face away, and then her brow furrowed. Every part of me was screaming to go into asshole mode, but getting too deep into arguments and emotions was only one step away from embracing lust.
Careful. Gotta be real fucking careful.
Why doesn't she get it? It's not hard.
“I still don't understand,” she sighed. “Civilian world or not, this is a job for the authorities. We're in too deep.”
“Stop fantasizing, baby,” I snapped. “I'll be honest: you tell the police the truth, you'll probably walk. Why do you think my club's still standing after our whole fucking clubhouse blew up in Python and our businesses burned to the ground?”
I watched the recognition light up her eyes, making her greens glow brighter. She opened her mouth to say something, and then quickly closed it. Satisfaction rolled through me. I knew a girl who didn't want to admit I was right when I saw her.
“Exactly. All the cops three counties over are on somebody's payroll. Mostly ours. But the Grizzlies could easily have some dirty money buying badges in this place too.” I said it for her. “You squawk, you risk bringing some real trouble to your door. My boys will protect you as much as they can, but we're not all powerful. It's not the cops you need to worry about. If you end up in jail or hauled off to some shitty Grizzlies' clubhouse as a slave, who the hell's gonna take care of Mom?”
That sent her over the top. She threw my last hand on hers off, and then stood up, taking several furious steps away from the bar. I stood and eyed her.
Fuck. Shouldn't have said that last part, even if it worked to make her see the truth.
“Where's the damned door? Where's my car?” She was exasperated. “ This is a mistake. I don't know what I was thinking calling you! I should've taken my chances out in the woods by myself.”
“You know you don't mean that,” I said, stepping closer. “I saved your pretty ass, and I'd do it all over again. Only thing is, I need you to see it, and listen to me. Stop fighting. Help me help you stay in one piece.”
“I've had enough 'help.' Just let me go home.”
I did a stupid thing. I reached out, grabbing her arm. She swatted back like a cougar and scratched my skin.
“What the fuck!” If she wasn't a woman, I wouldn't have hesitated to hit back. I swallowed my anger, hard and bitter and hot as hell. “You've lost your goddamned head, girl.”
“I must've lost something to think about trusting a biker. Yeah, I see what you're thinking: I'm a stupid bitch, and I guess you're right. Just being here, being here with you, proves it.” She spun away, her shoulders rolling, ready to strike if I laid another hand on her.
I wasn't that foolish. I stared at her, eyes going straight through her. Couldn't understand how someone so beautiful could be so stubborn.
Who the hell was she? Really?
“Where's the car? I've got better things to do today. We're done bickering.”
The sass in her voice sent needles up my spine. I had a vision of hauling her back to my room and spanking her ass raw for being such an ungrateful bitch. Stupid fucking fantasies.
Took a lot to remember that was all they were, and all they'd ever be. When I pushed away the lust, only the anger remained, and I was getting madder by the second.
“All right. I'll talk to Moose and see if your damned car's good to go. Anything else comes up, you know my number.”
She sniffed and turned away from me. I angrily walked to door leading into the garages and ripped it open, slamming it so hard behind me the entire clubhouse shook.
I found Moose outside puffing on his pipe. His goddamned tobacco smelled like shit. Didn't understand why he never bought the good stuff with the club stipend, which had only grown since the dust in Montana settled.
“Is this fucking thing clean or what?” I pointed to her rusted car.
“Good to go, Prez. Not a trace of the dead asshole on it. Even gave it an oil change for the road.”
I took off without thanking him. Saffron had followed me outside, and she stood on the step next to the door, her arms folded.
“It's ready. Get
your keys from Moose.”
She wouldn't even look at me. Keeping my hands to myself was hell as she walked right past, grabbed the keys my big, bearded brother held out, and then thanked him. Caught one more glimpse of her sweet, defiant ass before she disappeared inside and started it up.
Moose turned to face me. Bastard was trying not to smile. I barely noticed as I watched her whip around in the parking lot and drive toward the gate around our clubhouse, waiting to get on the road.
“Hope everything's smooth between you and her, Prez. Looks pretty pissed off to me...”
“Thank you, Mister Fucking Obvious.” I leaned to the garage's wall and punched the opener for the gate. Saffron's car was gone in a heartbeat, as if it was never there at all.
“Have someone keep an eye on her,” I said, hitting the button again, watching the gate slide shut. “She's safe, and it's my business to make sure she stays that way. Even if I have to protect her from herself.”
“Your business or club business?”
I left him without answering, retreating to the bar instead. Smartass knew damned well it was both.
My head was buzzing with a clammy, uncomfortable beat inside my skull. Having the talk with Saffron left me stewing with more crap than I could handle at eleven o'clock in the morning.
Suddenly, that morning shot of Jack sounded awfully fucking nice.
III: Into Temptation (Saffron)
What an asshole!
I pummeled my poor Toyota's accelerator all the way to the floor, riding mountain roads on pure adrenaline. I couldn't believe what he said.
My rough and shameless savior morphed into Mister Badass Biker right before my eyes. And not in the way I wanted.
I felt like even more of an idiot for thinking what I did earlier on his bike. God, his abs were like hot stone beneath my fingers, rock hard hills and valleys that wound straight down into his jeans. Blaze was cut like an animal, all strength and perfect fury. I shouldn't have been surprised he'd acted like one too.
It didn't take raw shame long to catch up. I caught myself then, wondering what kind of sick slut I was for thinking about him at all. I'd just killed a man¸ after all, and there I was imagining myself under the rock hard man on the Harley!
“Idiot!” I muttered to myself, slapping the wheel.
I had half a mind to drive straight to the Missoula PD and tell them everything about what happened last night. Unfortunately, his blunt, arrogant, and totally asshole words were also completely true.
If I opened that box to outsiders, I was bound to end up in one, or else behind bars.
Blaze wasn't the only one who fucked up here. I lied to his face.
Didn't even expect to get away with it when I said Jordan was just a petty drug dealer. But amazingly, he believed me, and I saved my brother from a bullet in the head. I knew that would be his fate if they found out my brother wore the Grizzlies patch, and especially if Blaze learned the dumbass had blown back into town with a grudge to settle against his MC.
The cold truth hit me: I was fucked no matter what I did. I'd killed a man, lied to a man who helped me in his own messed up way, and stormed out, caught between two deceptions.
And the real killer? I hadn't picked up Mom's damned stuff at the drugstore yet!
That was my first stop. As soon as I had her pain pills and a few bags of chips, I hit the road, leaving the nightmare behind and crawling back into the safe, depressing shell of an apartment I called home.
I jiggled my key in the old lock and the door popped open. The TV was louder than usual. I almost dropped my bag when I saw Mom sitting in her wooden rocking chair in the living room for the first time in well over two years.
Jordan sat next to her. He turned his head and gave me a smile that made my blood run cold.
“Finally! Back after a long night on the town. You disappoint me, girl.” Mom shook her head, sucking in a deep breath. “I give you money for a few simple things and you blow it on drinks and boys!”
“You're wrong, Mom. I brought your pills and picked up snacks too. Just ran into a little car trouble...”
The excuse was lame. It was all I could think of. My mother's sneer flattened into acceptance when I handed her the little prescription bag.
“Well, you're long overdue. Thank God I had your brother here to care for me. Not sure what I would've done if I had to suffer a minute more in the hell where you left me.”
My heart sank. She was definitely high on something to be out here and to guilt trip me. I just didn't know if it was something Jordan had slipped or pure anger.
“You should've called me, sis. I would've come to get you. It's dangerous out there all alone, especially for a young woman at night.” His face darkened and he lowered his voice. “What the hell were you thinking?”
I dropped the bag of chips, walked straight to the bathroom, and slammed the door. I wasn't in the mood for this.
Still had the stink of murder on my skin too, even if I was the only one who smelled it. I ripped off my clothes and showered quickly. I'd washed the blood off my hands at the clubhouse, but I could still feel it, so unclean it burned.
The water was cool and refreshing. I didn't care it came from an old spigot falling apart, just like everything else around here.
Water helped me meditate. If I focused on the steady beat of the droplets, I could forget about my rotten family, Blaze and his arrogance, the man whose skull I splintered in the darkness...
Shit, there was a lot to forget.
I'd just managed to clear my head and dry my hair when I heard a scratching at the door. I ignored it at first, but whoever was on the other side kept up. Annoyed, I cracked the door.
A hand reached through and yanked on mine. I almost lost my towel as strong male power jerked me out of the bathroom and twisted me up against the wall.
“Jordan? What're you doing?” I furrowed my brow, beaming pure rage at my brother. “I'm not your damned toy!”
“No, you're right, sis. You're more like a fucking puppy.”
I looked over his shoulder. Wouldn't Mom hear us? We were only a few feet away.
He saw the fear rippling in my eyes and shook his head. “Forget it. She's asleep. Those pills give her the energy to get out of bed and then she collapses before the next dose. Nasty little side effect.”
“Get on with it. You're obviously being an asshole because you want something,” I said.
“Yeah. I wanna know where the hell you were last night, and why you never came back with Dubs. Irons said he hasn't checked in at all today. Something stinks real bad, and I don't like it one bit.”
I swallowed hard and looked into his eyes. For a micro-second, I considered spilling the truth, telling him the man he called brother had tried to rape me in the woods.
But how would I ever explain killing him? The vicious bear patch on Jordan's leather jacket hadn't just changed the way he talked and the things he did. It warped his mind.
“Long story. I had car trouble, just like I said. Dubs said he was going to get a jump at the gas station or one of the bars up the street, or else find us a tow. Then he got a call and took off. Never came back.”
“What kind of call?”
I shrugged. “Dunno. He left in a split second, wouldn't say what except it was 'club business.' It reminded me a lot of what happened to you last night. Just where the hell were you, anyway?”
Great. At least dealing with Blaze's shit gave me something useful...
“That's none of your damned business,” he growled. “Jesus. I should've known. We're in an all out war and they've got to know we're here by now. Bastards!”
Jordan slapped his fist next to my head on the wall so hard it nearly punched a hole. I jumped.
“You didn't see anybody? No bikes? No cuts with patches that look different than this?”
“I know what the Devils' colors look like,” I said. “I've been around here a lot longer than you in recent memory. Dubs left. Didn't see or hear anything. I w
aited on the side of the road until somebody pulled over to help me.”
“Fuck. This is bad news, Shelly. Real fucking bad. I need to call Irons right now...”
That was the second time he said that name. I stared at him, questioning him with my eyes.
“He's my club's VP. He'll know what to do when we got a man down. I swear, we're gonna have to tear those fucking Prairie Pussies up soon, before we start dropping like flies.”
He turned his back and let me up. Jordan walked right past Mom, stepped outside the apartment, and let the door fall shut behind him. I stared blankly ahead, dripping water on the carpet.
Crap. This can't go on forever.
I could only stack the lies so high for so long. Sooner or later, they were going to come crashing down on my head, and someone would definitely end up buried beneath them.
I drank and crashed and tried to forget for three days.
Jordan was rarely at home, and Mom retreated to her room when I was home. “Taking up a perfectly good couch,” in her words.
Every time I heard a passing motorcycle's roar, my heart beat a little faster. Sometimes the loud engines woke me, and I'd jerk up, clutching my blanket tight and peering out the blinds.
A few times, bikers lingered near the parking lot, eyes on my car and on our window. It was hard to see their patches at night. Didn't think they were Grizzlies, though.
The Grizzlies all but had a key to our place with Jordan's insane trust in those maniacs. If Blaze had assigned protection to me – which he surely had – then these guys would keep their distance as long as I kept mine.
By the fourth day, I couldn't just wait.
I was up early, waiting on the balcony for the nightly drive by. As soon as I heard the growling purr, I threw on my shoes and ran outside. The biker was just about to peel away when he saw me approaching.
“Wait! I need to talk to Blaze,” I said, running up to him.
It was the one they called Moose, a big man with an even bigger beard. He braked and steadied himself, raising one eyebrow beneath his helmet.
“That's fucking weird. Last I heard, I figured you two talking would be about the last thing you'd want. What's this about? Tell me and I'll send him a message.”
