“It’s your job.”
Hallie groaned. “So tell Amber to hire the old kid back.”
“If you’re going to quit, you need to do it yourself.”
“Whatever.” Hallie sighed, not caring. She was about to roll over, back to her mournful daydreams, when her phone buzzed, vibrating on the polished nightstand. Hallie bolted upright.
“Dakota!” She grabbed the phone to check the screen, heart racing. She knew it! He missed her, he was sorry for everything, he still loved her!
But it was only Ana Lucia.
Hallie let out a whimper. She hit decline call and slumped back, pulling the covers over her head. Why was the cruel world taunting her with the promise of his call? Wasn’t it enough that he was gone?
A moment later, the covers were yanked away. “Call her back.” Grace grabbed her phone.
“No,” Hallie replied, but before she could stop Grace, her sister hit redial.
“Ana Lucia, hi. Hallie’s right here, sorry about that.” She thrust the phone at Hallie with a pointed glare and then stalked out.
Hallie lifted the phone to her ear reluctantly. “Hey.” She exhaled, already exhausted.
“Hallie, where the hell have you been? I’ve been calling you for, like, years!” There was a steely note beneath Ana Lucia’s syrupy concern. She clearly wasn’t used to being ignored.
“Sorry, I’ve been . . . sick,” Hallie managed. Heartsick.
“Aww, I bet you’re missing Dakota,” Ana Lucia cooed. “Long distance is the worst! I told the girls, you’re probably calling each other twenty-four seven.”
“Mmmm,” Hallie murmured, the words like a dagger in her soul.
Ana Lucia chattered on, oblivious. “Want to grab brunch and tell us all about it? We’re dying to hear how New York is working out.”
“I don’t know . . .”
“Come on,” Ana Lucia insisted. “Girl time is exactly what you need. You’ll feel tons better, I promise.”
Hallie wavered. She hadn’t left the house yet, and celebrity spotting at Urth Caffé never failed to lift her mood. . . .
“OK,” she finally agreed. She had to reemerge from hiding sometime, and it may as well be with cheesecake. “Give me half an hour.” Hallie paused. It had been a while since she’d picked up the loofah. “Better make that an hour.”
The girls were clustered around a sidewalk table, already picking at their salads when Hallie arrived. “Sweetie!” Ana Lucia leaped up, leaning to drop air-kisses on each cheek. “You poor thing, look at you, you look wrecked!”
Hallie’s smile slipped. She’d done her best to polish up, but weeks moping around in abject misery had clearly taken their toll on her skin tone. “Don’t worry, herbal tea is awesome for a detox,” Ana Lucia added helpfully, gesturing to the staff to drag over another chair. “By the time the band is back in town, you’ll look awesome again.”
“Or are you going out to visit?” Brie looked up from her phone. Ana Lucia brightened.
“We could all go! Like a group vacation.”
“No!” Hallie said quickly. “I mean, Dakota says they’re really focused on the music,” she explained, dismayed to find herself parroting the same weak excuses Dakota had given her. “Their manager doesn’t want them to have any distractions,” she added. “He wanted me to come out, but they laid down the law. No girlfriends. So . . .”
She trailed off, wondering if maybe there was some truth in her lie. Perhaps it was his bandmates urging Dakota to shun her; knowing his loyalties were split. Hallie frowned at the thought of it. She never had liked that AJ, with his Victorian gentleman hairstyle and suspenders — what grown man wore pomade?
“I’m sorry.” Meredith squeezed her hand, giving Hallie a sympathetic smile. “That’s the worst. You must miss him like crazy.”
“I do.” Hallie felt it, aching in every limb of her body. “I can’t bear being away from him. It feels like part of me is missing.”
The girls awwwed in unison. “So cute,” Brie murmured.
“Has Reed said anything about me?” Ana Lucia interrupted. “I mean, to Dakota. We were going to get together before they left, but things were so busy. . . .”
“I don’t think so,” Hallie said carefully. Ana Lucia’s lips tightened. “But, you know what Reed is like,” she added quickly. “He doesn’t really talk about his feelings.”
“The strong, silent type,” Meredith agreed. Ana Lucia relaxed again.
“You’re right. He wouldn’t talk about it, he’s not that kind of guy — all sappy and emotional.” She sipped her boba tea, confidence restored. “Anyway, it’s not like we’re dating or anything. You know I don’t like to be tied down.”
“That’s not what I heard.” Brie smirked.
Ana Lucia gave a tiny, satisfied shrug. “What can I say? He was older.”
They all laughed, and for a moment at least, Hallie felt her ache ease. Maybe she should just come clean. They were her friends, right? Telling the truth could even help; let her wallow in sympathy and understanding, as warm as Amber’s borrowed cashmere comforter.
Then Brie turned back to her with an expectant look. “So, tell us, how’s recording? Are the guys writing any new songs?” And Hallie knew, she couldn’t bring herself to tell the truth, and see that envy in their expressions turn to pity. Dakota was the one thing she had that these girls didn’t. And, boy, did they have everything.
“Sure.” She forced a smile — the nonchalant smile of a girl whose boyfriend loved her, and couldn’t bear to be apart — and began to tell them all about the amazing sessions the band had been recording, and how Dakota had written three new love songs, just for her. She was an actress through and through, she could play this part as long as it took, before Dakota came back to her, and the lies became real.
Because it could be true, Hallie told herself, after Ana Lucia dropped her back home. Just because he wasn’t calling, didn’t mean Dakota wasn’t going through the same agony of separation, writing tormented love songs in her honor to soothe his broken heart. She slouched through the expanse of marble flooring and tasteless art, wondering if Dakota was really pining for her the same way she missed him, a thousand miles away. He had to be! Because otherwise . . . The idea left Hallie dizzy, too much for her to even contemplate. No, he still loved her. She knew it with every fiber of her being.
Hallie found Grace in the den, curled up in what had formerly been Hallie’s own Chair of Misery, watching some boring Discovery Channel documentary about space. “Move.” Hallie nudged her knee. “It’s time for my soaps.”
Grace didn’t look away from the screen. “The TV’s taken.”
Hallie sighed tiredly. “Come on. You know I always watch now.”
“Not today. They’re running a Mysteries of the Cosmos marathon, and then five episodes of Firefly. And sit on the couch if you want,” Grace added, lips set in a determined pout. “I was here first.”
Hallie felt a burn of irritation. She’d spent the afternoon telling one painful lie after another, now all she wanted was to collapse in peace. “Why are you being like this?” she demanded. “You know I’m depressed here!”
Grace shrugged, staring back at the screen. “So? Maybe I’m depressed too.”
Hallie snorted. “Over what? Your stupid crush on Theo? Oh, no, he’s so far away in Northern California,” she mimicked. “In case you forgot, Dakota is on the other side of the country!”
“That’s how you win?” Grace was clearly unmoved. “Geographical distance. Big deal.”
Hallie gasped. So unfeeling! “What is wrong with you?” she cried. “I’ve got a broken heart. I’ve been separated from the man I love!”
Grace’s expression changed. “So you have to fall apart and mope like you always do.” She got up from the chair, jabbing a cruel finger at Hallie. “He left! So what? Get over it!”
Hallie reeled back in shock. “How can you say that? And what gives you any right to talk about love?” Hallie felt her temper rise,
sharp in her chest. “I bet you’ve never even kissed a boy!”
“You don’t know anything about my life,” Grace said quietly. Her voice had a tremor to it, but Hallie was too furious to stop.
“I know that you’re a coward!” she shot back. “You sit quietly in the corner, watching life just pass you by. And then you have the nerve to judge the rest of us for actually doing something about it.”
“Oh, yeah? And what have you done?” Grace folded her arms. “Built your whole life around some guy, so you fall apart the minute he leaves? Thanks, but I’ll pass!”
Hallie felt sobs come, hot and stinging. This wasn’t fair!
“You’re just jealous.” She hurled the words at her sister. “You’re a coward, and you’re jealous because I have a real relationship.”
“Don’t you mean, had?” Grace’s face was sharp with spite.
“You never liked him.” Hallie’s voice rose, hoarse through the tears. “You hate seeing me happy, because you’re too scared to ever make something happen with Theo.” She shook with anger, furious Grace could be so cruel. Furious that Dakota was gone, and she was in agony, and nobody seemed to understand.
“You don’t know how lucky you are!” she wailed. “You like him, he likes you; you could be with him anytime you want! There’s nothing keeping you apart — except you, and the fact that you’re too scared to ever go after what you want!”
“Stop it!” Grace protested, like she didn’t realize she had everything Hallie could only dream about. She was blessed!
“I’m right, aren’t I?” Hallie pushed. “There’s nothing standing in your way. You’re just too pathetic and immature to make it happen.”
“You don’t know anything!” Grace yelled fiercely.
“So give me one good reason why you can’t be together!” Hallie waited, tapping her foot in an exaggerated gesture. “Well?”
Grace was silent.
“See! You don’t have any!” Hallie was overwhelmed with the injustice of the world. She’d had her true love ripped away from her, and there Grace was, moping around like her little crush was the worst thing to ever happen to her — and all along, she could have her guy!
“Fine, take the stupid remote!” Grace suddenly hurled it at her. It flew wide, bouncing off the coffee table with a clatter. “Because everything’s always about you. You’re hurting, you’re in pain, and nobody else in the history of the world knows what that’s like!”
She stormed out, leaving Hallie alone with the low drone of the documentary narrator. How could Grace be so cruel? She’d been sarcastic, but to Hallie, it was true: the longing that ached with every breath she took, it was hers. How could anyone understand how it felt, let alone make it better? Only Dakota knew her pain, and he was gone.
Gone.
Hallie sank into the chair and began to sob.
Without school or a real job to force her out into the world, Hallie retreated into a dull haze — days slipping past in a lethargic blur as mornings in bed faded into afternoon naps that led to early nights snuggled beneath the blankets. Her bed became a sanctuary: a warm, cotton-scented retreat where she could safely spend hours daydreaming about happier days; replaying scenes of her time with Dakota over and over, as if she could conjure them back to reality by sheer force of will.
Her grand plans for Hollywood success faded; auditions passed unnoticed on her calendar. Sure, she left the house occasionally — when Amber insisted on dragging her to the salon, or Ana Lucia and Co. invited her out for lunch or to shop at glossy stores far beyond her budget — but those trips were less indulgences than trials to be endured. Hallie made conversation, and kept up the pretense that she and Dakota were still together, but in her heart, she was only waiting until she could return to the comforting folds of her duvet, and dream of the day when Dakota would come back to her, and make everything OK again.
And then Thanksgiving came.
“I have a surprise for you!” Amber beamed at Hallie, her perky smile barely visible over the feast of food spread over the table. She and Auggie had gone all out for the occasion, with streamers and lights and Pilgrim-themed decorations; tiny silver placeholders in the shape of turkeys at each setting.
“Uh-huh?” Hallie prodded her potatoes, barely mustering enthusiasm. Her mom had surfaced long enough to order Hallie dressed and out of bed for dinner, and it was all she could do to sit quietly, passing the yams, while the bustle of holiday cheer whirled on around her. Holidays should be illegal, she thought morosely; cruel and unusual punishment for those suffering from a broken heart.
“Well, for both of you girls,” Auggie added. He and Amber were resplendent in matching knit holiday sweaters adorned with tiny turkeys. “Guess!”
There was silence. Grace stayed slumped, mirroring Hallie’s pose. Since their fight, she’d barely spoken to Hallie, and although it was a welcome break from her usual orders to snap out of it and get up, Hallie still felt it was all wrong. What did Grace have to be upset about? Hallie was the one suffering here!
“Well?” Their mom prompted them, a knowing look on her face. “What do you think it is?”
“I don’t know.” Hallie shrugged. “Amber’s pregnant?”
There was a pause. Auggie and Amber looked at each other, then exploded in a chorus of laughter. “Ha!” Uncle Auggie hooted. “Are you kidding? You don’t know my girl!”
“A baby?” Amber shook with laughter. “Hollering and bawling all hours of the day? And my figure . . . ! Oh, honey, no! Marilyn and Monroe are my babies. Aren’t you, girls? Yes you are!” She scooped one off the floor and nuzzled it happily.
“Okaay.” Hallie rolled her eyes. “So what’s the big announcement?”
Amber looked up again. “Do you want to tell them?”
Uncle Auggie shook his head. “No, you do it, it was your idea.”
“But you’re the one who organized everything. . . .”
Hallie sank lower in her seat as they bickered. Who cared who said what? Who cared about the surprise at all? Unless they were going to announce that Dakota was out waiting in the kitchen with the five kinds of pumpkin pie Amber had ordered, she wasn’t interested. What could possibly matter more than the fifty-plus e-mails, thirty-two voice mails, and forty texts she’d sent Dakota since he’d left; all of them unanswered?
“. . . to New York.”
Hallie’s head jerked up at the words. “What?”
Uncle Auggie laughed. “See, I knew that would get her attention.”
Hallie looked around the table. Amber was beaming proudly, and even Grace looked perkier. “What about New York?” she asked, breathless.
“Amber’s taking you girls for a trip,” their mom explained, smiling.
“A little preholiday getaway!” Amber clapped excitedly. “We can go shopping, and to a show, and see the lights —”
Hallie leaped up and flew around the table. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she squealed, smothering Amber with a hug. “Oh, my God, this is perfect! I’ll be able to see Dakota!”
Amber laughed. “There, that smile’s what we wanted.”
“You’ve been moping around too long,” Uncle Auggie agreed. “It’s not healthy.”
Hallie bounced in the air, unable to contain her joy. New York! Dakota! They would be reunited, and the past silent, lonely weeks would be forgotten. Everything would be all right again!
“Eeee!” She let out a delighted shriek. The universe had aligned again; fate was on her side once more. “When do we leave?” she demanded, ready to go race to the airport that very second. “How long are we staying? What do I need to pack?”
They didn’t leave for another two weeks, but for Hallie, the days passed in an excited blur. Time may have dragged by unbearably slowly since Dakota left, but with the prospect of seeing him bright on the horizon, Hallie rushed breathlessly through her preparation and packing. There was so much to do! Salon visits, and shopping, and picking out the perfect outfits that would make him fall right b
ack at her feet where he belonged. She barely paused to think of the alternative — there was none, surely! — fervent with excitement until the moment they arrived in the bitter cold of New York; whisked away from the airport in a plush limo and delivered to the Waldorf-Astoria for the week.
“You’re in the Empire Suite.” The concierge passed over their room keys at check-in.
Amber giggled, bundled in a huge white ski jacket with fake-fur trim around the hood. “You hear that, girls?” She nudged Hallie gleefully. “The Empire Suite. And would you look at that tree?”
Hallie couldn’t care less about the holiday decorations. “Are there any messages?” she demanded. The concierge glanced at his screen.
“Nothing, Miss Weston.”
“Are you sure?” she checked. “No flowers? Or chocolates? Six-foot stuffed teddy bears?” Dakota had always been more subtle with his gifts, but you never knew.
“I’m sorry.” He gave her a vague smile. “We’ll call up to your room the moment anything arrives.”
“Fine.” Hallie exhaled, looking carefully around the gleaming lobby, in case Dakota was lurking behind the twenty-foot tree, waiting to serenade her in person. Now, that would be an apology! But there was nothing except a ten-part all-boys choir, fa-la-la-ing in front of the blazing log fire.
“I should call him again,” Hallie decided as they headed for the elevators, two bellhops trailing them with Amber’s full collection of designer luggage. “I sent him all my flight details, but he’ll want to know we landed safely.”
The doors closed behind them. Grace studied her with an unreadable gaze. “So he called you back?”
Hallie paused. Trust Grace to start speaking to her long enough to drag down Hallie’s good mood. “Well, no,” she admitted, “but I’m here now. He’ll be in touch to see me, for sure.”
Amber patted her arm. “Of course he will. And until he does, we’ve got plenty to do!” A dog yapped in agreement, poking its head out from the flaps of a monogrammed leather carry case. Amber couldn’t bear to be parted from them, even for a week, so Marilyn and Monroe had flown with them, tucked in their own seat in the first-class cabin. “I love the city in winter.” Amber sighed happily. “It’s just like my favorite movie.”
Jane Austen Goes to Hollywood Page 16
