by Girard, Dara
“Yes, you don’t seem like yourself.”
Claudia nodded. “You’re more uptight than usual.”
“I’m not uptight.”
Suzanne shook her head. “She phrased that wrong. You seem preoccupied.” Her friend sighed, as if trying to find the right words. “You’ve just written a wonderful manuscript, and it’s the holidays and you’re here with us, but you don’t seem happy.”
Noreen stared at her friends, unable to respond. She wasn’t happy and she’d stopped believing in the holiday spirit. She didn’t know when, but every year the magic seemed to fade away until it was gone. All the gaiety around her didn’t penetrate the coldness in her heart. She’d thought she’d never feel numb again and she didn’t. After leaving Michael she felt an aching emptiness. She knew she’d never see him again and for a time she’d let the memory of him warm her, but as days turned to months, thoughts of him and why she’d left without an explanation were painful. She knew how much risk he’d taken asking her to run away with him and she didn’t want to think about how her desertion may have hurt him. She sometimes wondered what would have happened if she’d said yes. But she was too practical to think about it for long.
Had he forgotten about her? Had he taken another case? But the answers didn’t matter. She had to forget him.
“It’s been a stressful time,” she said vaguely.
Claudia nudged her with her elbow. “Well, we’re here if you need us.”
“Yes,” Suzanne agreed. “And I think—” She stopped and looked down and saw her seven-year-old son, Luke, tugging on her skirt. Suzanne smiled down at him. “Well, this is a surprise.”
Noreen was surprised to see him too. Luke was very shy and usually stayed in his room. “Hello, Miss Claudia and Miss Noreen,” he said very solemnly.
Noreen smiled at him and Claudia said, “Cute and has manners.” She bent down to his level. “Will you run off with me?”
He lowered his eyes and giggled.
Suzanne straightened his tie. “What do want, honey?”
“I can’t find Harmon.” Harmon was his pet frog.
Suzanne froze. “What?”
Her husband, Rick, joined them with his hands in his pockets and an amused expression on his face. “I guess he’s already told you.”
Suzanne glanced at him then Luke. “Go back to your room and look really hard.”
The little boy nodded and ran away.
Suzanne turned to Rick, careful to keep her voice composed. “Where’s your mother?”
“Looking for the—”
Suzanne covered his mouth. “Don’t say it,” she hissed, looking around. “I don’t want anyone to overhear you.”
He removed her hand. “Okay.”
“I don’t believe this. The first holiday party in our new house and there’s a missing…thing…somewhere.”
Rick affectionately rubbed Suzanne’s shoulders. “Relax, no one has screamed yet.”
“Excuse us,” Suzanne said to her friends and took Rick’s hand.
“Sorry, ladies,” he said and waved at Claudia and Noreen as Suzanne dragged him away.
“Poor Suzanne,” Noreen said.
“Don’t feel sorry for her. Rick can handle any mishaps.” She watched Rick steal a kiss under the mistletoe. Suzanne shoved him away, but he only laughed. “They’re so in love. You can feel it all the way over here. If every woman were as well-adjusted as she is, I’d be out of a job. Thank God for women like us.”
“Like us?”
“Yes, happily single.”
“Right,” Noreen said in a flat voice.
Claudia sent her a sharp glance. “Or has that changed?”
“No,” she said quickly. “Nothing’s changed.”
Of course that was a lie. Everything about her life had changed since she’d returned.
Claudia tugged on her earring. “I know we may not agree on everything, but you know that I love you and I want you to be happy.”
“I know.”
She lowered her voice in concern. “Is anything wrong?”
“I just have a lot to think about.” Such as dealing with her sister, an ex who reported her to the courts because she’d missed an alimony payment and sleepless nights because of a man she couldn’t stop thinking about. “But I came to this party to get away from all that.”
“Fair enough. Just remember one thing. Heartbreak is nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes pain reminds us that we’re alive.” She walked away.
Noreen remembered Claudia’s words more than a week later as she sat in her family room, creating a new story on her laptop.
“You work too hard,” Arlene complained, coming into the family room with a large cardboard box.
Noreen looked up and watched as Arlene set the box down. When she stood the gentle swell of her belly was starting to show through her red spandex top. She was nearly five months along now and glowing with good health and in high spirits, which was a nice change from months ago. After the incident in St. Lagans, Noreen had returned to the ship, gathered her things from her cabin then gone straight to the airport and flown out. She’d called her sister the moment she’d touched down and they’d met at Noreen’s house.
“I have something to tell you,” Noreen said as they sat in her kitchen.
“Me first,” Arlene said eagerly. “I’m pregnant.”
Noreen’s face fell. “I was afraid of that.”
“Why? I know it wasn’t planned but Clyde will take care of me.”
She shook her head. “No, he won’t.”
“I know you don’t like him, but—”
Noreen took her hand. “Arlene. I have a few things to tell you.” She told her sister all about what happened in St. Lagans, carefully leaving out any mention of Michael. Telling her sister that the man she’d loved was really named Alvarez and was an accused murderer and smuggler was enough.
Arlene stared at Noreen, dumbfounded, then touched her stomach and gulped ominously. “I think I’m going to be sick.” She covered her mouth then raced over to the sink.
After being violently ill, Arlene collapsed to the ground in tears. “How could I have been so wrong about him? I loved him. I was certain he was the one.”
“Come on,” Noreen said, helping her sister to her feet.
“I was so happy, Sis,” she sobbed. “I thought we might get married. I’d already imagined what our wedding would be like.”
Noreen led her sister to a guest bedroom. “I know.” She helped her sister into the bed then tucked her in.
“What am I going to do? Now I have no job and no place to go. He paid for the apartment. I can’t afford it now.”
“You know you can stay here.”
She sniffed and wiped her eyes. “I don’t want to be a burden.”
“Just go to sleep,” Noreen said in a soothing tone as if lulling a child. “I’ll take care of you.”
And that had been all the assurance Arlene needed. She soon acted as if she had no cares in the world. She moved in with Noreen and only occasionally looked for work. Anytime Noreen asked if she would think of adoption, Arlene brushed her away. “You worry too much. I have plenty of time to think it over.”
Although Arlene didn’t like to talk about her impending motherhood, she enjoyed being pregnant. She wore the tightest tops she could to show off her small baby bump.
“Not all women look as good as me,” Arlene said as they walked in a mall that was getting decorated for the holiday season. “My stomach is so symmetrical.”
“You hardly show and I still think you should dress a bit more mature.”
“Some men find pregnant women sexy.”
Noreen sent her sister a sharp look. “You shouldn’t be thinking about men right now.”
“Why not? I may be pregnant, but I still have needs.”
And for three weeks Arlene got her needs met from a gangly man Noreen only knew as Tyrone. But that relationship ended when he decided to spend Thanksgiving with his famil
y and reconciled with his third ex-wife. Fortunately, Arlene bounced back from the rejection and immediately started on a new project: Christmas.
“It’s four days before Christmas and you haven’t decorated,” Arlene said.
“I’m not celebrating this year.”
“But you have to.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Noreen!”
“What? I went to Suzanne’s party. That’s all the holiday cheer I need. If you wanted some you should have come too.”
Arlene pulled her face into a pout. “It’s not the same.”
“I’m not decorating, but I bought you a gift if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“That’s not enough.”
“It will have to be,” Noreen said, ending the discussion.
That had been yesterday; evidently Arlene hadn’t dropped the subject.
Noreen frowned as she looked at the box. “What is that?”
“Decorations. I thought it was time we decorated the place for the holidays. I feel in the mood to celebrate. Unfortunately, you don’t have many ornaments. We’re going to have to buy some.”
“You just want an excuse to shop. I have plenty of things in the garage. I’ll get them later.”
Arlene collapsed on the couch and her top inched up. Arlene yanked it down. “I think this top has shrunk,” she grumbled.
Noreen closed her laptop and set it aside. “No, your stomach has gotten bigger.”
Her sister frowned. “It’s starting not to be as much fun. It’s getting uncomfortable.”
“Stop complaining. Just wait until you’re eight months along.” Noreen stood and kissed her sister on the forehead. “You’re still beautiful.”
She smiled then her smile slowly fell. “Tyrone said—”
Noreen returned to her place on the couch. “I don’t care.”
“Do you think I’ll ever meet him?”
“I doubt it. He’s moved to Georgia.”
Arlene shook her head. “No, not Tyrone. Him. The One. The man for me. A man who is caring and funny and sexy. Does a man like that even exist?”
Noreen thought about Michael. “Yes. Now don’t get maudlin and go change your top unless you want to hold that one down all day.”
Arlene stood and lowered her gaze, absently stroking the slight curve of her belly. “Will you be angry if I keep it?” She looked at Noreen, her eyes glistening with tears. “It would be nice to have something in my life that won’t leave me.”
Noreen stood and hugged her. “No, I won’t be angry. I’m here for you.”
“Do you think I’ll make a good mother?”
Noreen knew her sister would make an unconventional mother, but she’d be loving and gentle. “Yes, and I’ll make a fabulous aunt, but you need to realize that it’s going to be a lot of responsibility.”
“I know. I’ve thought about it a lot.”
“Good. Then I’ll support whatever decision you make.”
“Really?” she said with surprise.
“Yes, except one.”
“What?”
Noreen tugged on her sister’s top as it kept inching upward. “Your decision to wear this. Please go and change.”
Arlene left. Noreen watched her go then sank back into her chair, wishing she could make everything right for her sister. She wished the right man would come along and take care of her. Arlene was a fun and caring companion who would make any man a good wife. She needed someone strong and kind. Noreen thought about Michael. She missed him. Not just being in his arms, but his smile, his teasing eyes and how he’d listen to her stories and would make her feel wonderful.
She still loved him. She wished she didn’t, but she did. She believed that he had cared for her during those few days. She’d been married to a liar and grown up with one, so she knew Michael had been sincere or maybe she just wanted to believe him. She wondered what he was doing now. Did he ever think of her? She sighed. Even if he did, it wouldn’t be her, it would be “Arlene.” She reached up and clasped the necklace she still wore around her neck.
A few minutes later, Arlene came back into the room wearing a more appropriate top. “I’m starving.”
“You’re always starving.”
Arlene affectionately patted her stomach. “I’m eating for two, remember?”
“You act like you’re eating for five. My grocery budget has tripled.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind me being here?”
“Arlene, I was teasing.”
She sighed. “I know. I guess I just wish everything had turned out differently.”
Me too. Noreen forced a smile. “I’m the one who’s supposed to worry, not you. I’ve always taken care of things, haven’t I?”
She nodded.
“So relax. I’ll handle things.”
Arlene’s eyes lit up. “Will you help me decorate?”
Noreen rolled her eyes. “I’m busy.”
“Please. Just this once.”
Noreen reluctantly stood, knowing how the argument would eventually end. “Okay. I’ll get the other boxes.”
“Great! I’ll be right back.”
“Where are you going?”
“The kitchen is almost bare. I’m going grocery shopping. It’s nice to have plenty of food in the house. You never know who might drop by.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s the holidays, so people may want to visit. Do you want anything?” she added before Noreen could say anything.
“No,” Noreen said, suddenly suspicious. “But what—”
“‘Bye!” Arlene grabbed her car keys then left.
Noreen looked around her expertly decorated family room. She hadn’t celebrated the holidays since her divorce, but this year would be different. If it made her sister happy, it would be worth the hassle. She pulled on her boots, a long wool coat and a pair of gloves and went out to her garage. She opened the door and stared at the orderly boxes stacked on top of each other, looking specifically for the ones labeled Christmas. After nearly twenty minutes she found them and started to pull them down.
“Noreen Webster?”
She spun around at the sound of the familiar voice. She froze when she saw the source of it. “Yes?”
“Hi, I’m Michael Vaughn.”
Chapter Sixteen
Noreen hastily put down the small box of items she was holding before she dropped it. She couldn’t breathe. What was he doing here?
Michael took a step forward, flashing his trademark smile. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He took another step forward. “It’s amazing. Sorry to stare, but the resemblance is remarkable.”
Noreen found her voice. “How can I help you?”
“Um…as I said my name is Michael Vaughn.” He held out his hand and she briefly shook it, thankful they both wore gloves.
“Obviously you already know who I am.”
“Yes, your sister told me about you, but I don’t know if your sister told you about me.”
“She did.” He looked relieved. “And after all that she told me, I’m curious why you’re here.”
“I wish I’d come sooner,” he said with chagrin, “but I had some business to take care of and then my cousin Undy got sick.”
“I’m sorry,” she said with more feeling than she’d meant to show. Noreen wouldn’t know what his cousin meant to him.
“Thank you. Things were left unsettled between your sister and me and I want to fix that.”
“Well, she’s not here right now.”
“That’s okay, because I really want to speak to you first.”
“Me?” Noreen’s voice cracked.
“Yes. Do you have some time?”
She looked at her garage in dismay. Why did he want to talk?
“I won’t get in your way. I noticed you were moving things. Can I give you a hand?”
Noreen pointed. “If you could grab that box over there, it would help.” She picked up a medium-size box then went ins
ide and set it down in the family room, next to the one Arlene had brought in. She briefly held her forehead and closed her eyes, trying to gain her composure. She needed to breathe. Relax. Just be herself. She was Noreen. She could handle anything.
Michael followed close behind and set another box down next to hers. He stood to his full height and looked wonderful but Noreen knew she had to treat him like a stranger.
She held out her hand then wiggled her fingers as though impatient so he wouldn’t notice it shaking. “Let me take your coat.”
He handed it to her and looked around. “Nice place you have here. It’s not what I expected.”
No, it wouldn’t be. Arlene’s tastes were different.
“Your sister told me about you and I pictured how your place would be. It’s better than I imagined,” Michael continued. “It’s warm and comfortable, like a true home.”
“Thank you.” Noreen escaped into the hallway and opened her coat closet and started to hang up his coat then she stopped. She held it close, for a moment, hugging the coat to her the way she wished she could hug him and tell him how much she’d missed him. Tears gathered in her eyes as she inhaled the fresh, cool scent of him and the winter air that clung to it. She took a deep steadying breath and composed herself and hung up his coat. She also removed hers and headed toward the living room then remembered her necklace and hastily tucked it under her shirt before entering the room.
She found Michael holding up a holiday ornament. “So you’re decorating for Christmas?”
“Yes, that’s Arlene’s idea.”
He smiled and set the ornament down. “She knows how to liven up a room.”
Noreen pasted on a smile. “Always.” She gestured to the couch, feeling like a robot. “Please take a seat.”
Michael sat down, making himself comfortable. “How is she?”
“The first few weeks were hard but she’s getting better.”
“And she’s healthy?”
“Yes, she’s due in April.” Noreen rubbed her hands. “Would you like anything to drink or eat?” When he didn’t reply, she snapped her fingers in front of him.
He blinked. “What?”
“You’re staring again.”
Michael shook his head. “I’m sorry, it’s just so amazing. Except for the glasses you look exactly the same.”
