by Dennis Lee
ALLIGATOR PIE
the poems were written by DENNIS LEE
the pictures were drawn by FRANK NEWFELD
Dedication
for Kevyn and Hilary
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Dedication
Alligator Pie
Wiggle to the Laundromat
Singa Songa
Bouncing Song
Street Song
Mumbo, Jumbo
Willoughby Wallaby Woo
Lying on Things
Rattlesnake Skipping Song
Bed Song
In Kamloops
Billy Batter
Ookpik
Bump on Your Thumb
The Special Person
Like a Giant in a Towel
Flying Out of Holes
William Lyon Mackenzie King
Tony Baloney
Skyscraper
Tricking
I Found a Silver Dollar
If You Should Meet
Higgledy Piggledy
Thinking in Bed
Nicholas Grouch
Psychapoo
On Tuesdays I Polish My Uncle
The Fishes of Kempenfelt Bay
Kahshe or Chicoutimi
Tongue Twister
The Hockey Game
Peter Rabbit
The Friends
The Sitter and the Butter and the Better Batter Fritter
Windshield Wipers
A Postlude
How Do You Illustrate Poems That Don’t Need Pictures?
About the Authors
Copyright
About the Publisher
Alligator Pie
Alligator pie, alligator pie,
If I don’t get some I think I’m gonna die.
Give away the green grass, give away the sky,
But don’t give away my alligator pie.
Alligator stew, alligator stew,
If I don’t get some I don’t know what I’ll do.
Give away my furry hat, give away my shoe,
But don’t give away my alligator stew.
Alligator soup, alligator soup,
If I don’t get some I think I’m gonna droop.
Give away my hockey-stick, give away my hoop,
But don’t give away my alligator soup.
Wiggle to the Laundromat
Wiggle to the laundromat,
Waggle to the sea;
Skip to Casa Loma
And you can’t catch me!
Singa Songa
Singa songa sea
I’ve got you by the knee.
Singa songa sand
I’ve got you by the hand.
Singa songa snail
I’ve got you by the tail.
Singa songa seat
And it’s time to eat!
Bouncing Song
Hambone, jawbone, mulligatawney stew,
Pork chop, lamb chop, cold homebrew.
Licorice sticks and popsicles, ice cream pie:
Strawberry, chocolate, vanilla!!!
Street Song
Sidewalk,
Hippity hop,
Step on a crack
Or you can’t come back.
Skippity one,
Skippity two,
Wait for the mailman
And kick off your shoe.
Mumbo, Jumbo
Mumbo Jumbo
Christopher Colombo
I’m sitting on the sidewalk
Chewing bubble gumbo.
I think I’ll catch a WHALE…
I think I’ll catch a snail…
I think I’ll sit around awhile
Twiddling my thumbo.
Willoughby Wallaby Woo
Willoughby, wallaby, woo.
I don’t know what to do.
Willoughby, wallaby, wee.
An elephant sat on me.
Willoughby, wallaby, wash.
I’m feeling kind of squash.
Willoughby, wallaby, woo.
And I don’t know what to do.
Lying on Things
After it snows
I go and lie on things.
I lie on my back
And make snow-angel wings.
I lie on my front
And powder-puff my nose.
I always lie on things
Right after it snows.
Rattlesnake Skipping Song
Mississauga rattlesnakes
Eat brown bread.
Mississauga rattlesnakes
Fall down dead.
If you catch a caterpillar
Feed him apple juice;
But if you catch a rattlesnake
Turn him loose!
Bed Song
Yonge Street, Bloor Street,
Queen Street, King:
Catch an itchy monkey
With a piece of string.
Eaton’s, and Simpson’s,
And Honest Ed’s:
Give him his pyjama pants
And throw him into beds!
In Kamloops
In Kamloops
I’ll eat your boots.
In the Gatineaus
I’ll eat your toes.
In Napanee
I’ll eat your knee.
In Winnipeg
I’ll eat your leg.
In Charlottetown
I’ll eat your gown.
In Crysler’s Farm
I’ll eat your arm.
In Aklavik
I’ll eat your neck.
In Red Deer
I’ll eat your ear.
In Trois Rivières
I’ll eat your hair.
In Kitimat
I’ll eat your hat.
And I’ll eat your nose
And I’ll eat your toes
In Medicine Hat and
Moose Jaw.
Billy Batter
Billy Batter,
What’s the matter?
How come you’re so sad?
I lost my cat
In the laundromat,
And a dragon ran off with my dad,
My dad—
A dragon ran off with my dad!
Billy Batter,
What’s the matter?
How come you’re so glum?
I ripped my jeans
On the coke machine,
And a monster ran off with my mum,
My mum—
A monster ran off with my mum!
Billy Batter,
Now you’re better—
Happy as a tack!
The dragon’s gone
To Saskatchewan;
The monster fell
In a wishing-well;
The cat showed up
With a new-born pup;
I fixed the rips
With potato chips,
And my dad and my mum came back,
Came back—
My dad and my mum came back!
Ookpik
An Ookpik is nothing but hair.
If you shave him, he isn’t there.
He’s never locked in the zoo.
He lives in a warm igloo.
He can whistle and dance on the walls.
He can dance on Niagara Falls.
He has nothing at all on his mind.
If you scratch him, he wags his behind.
He dances from morning to night.
Then he blinks. That turns out the light.
Bump on Your Thumb
Who shall be king of the little kids’ swing?
Jimmy’s the king of the little kids’ swing
With a bump on your thumb
And a thump on your bum
And tickle my tum in Toronto.
Who shall see sta
rs on the climbing bars?
Jimmy sees stars on the climbing bars
With a bump on your thumb
And a thump on your bum
And tickle my tum in Toronto.
And who shall come home with the night for his throne?
Jimmy’s come home with the night for his throne
With a bump on your thumb
And a thump on your bum
And tickle my tum in Toronto.
The Special Person
I’ve got a Special Person
At my day-care, where I’m in.
Her name is Mrs. Something
But we mostly call her Lynn.
’Cause Lynn’s the one that shows you
How to Squish a paper cup.
And Lynn’s the one that smells good
When you make her pick you up.
She smells good when she picks you up.
She knows alot of stories
And she reads them off by heart.
There’s one about a Bear, but I
Forget the other part.
She bit me on my knee once, ’cause I
Said she couldn’t scream,
And then I sent her in the hall,
And then we had Ice Cream.
I guess I’m going to marry Lynn
When I get three or four,
And Lynn can have my Crib, or else
She’ll maybe sleep next door,
’Cause Jamie wants to marry Lynn
And live here too, he said.
(I guess he’ll have to come, but he’s
Too Little for a bed.)
Like a Giant in a Towel
When the wind is blowing hard
Like a giant in the yard,
I’m glad my bed is warm;
I’m glad my bed is warm.
When the rain begins to rain
Like a giant with a pain,
I’m glad my bed is warm;
I’m glad my bed is warm.
When the snowstorm starts to howl
Like a giant in a towel,
I’m glad my bed is warm;
I’m glad my bed is warm.
And when the giants realize
That no one’s scared of their disguise,
They go to bed and close their eyes—
They’re glad their beds are warm;
They’re glad their beds are warm.
Flying Out of Holes
Mr. Mole. Mr. Mole! MR. MOLE!!!
Come quick. I’m stuck in a hole.
Burrow along with your snout.
I’m stuck and I can’t get out.
Push me and pull me. I’ll pop
Straight up in the air, kerplop!
Aren’t you going to come,
You no-good burrowing bum?
Never mind. I’m growing wings
To fly out of holes and things.
Now I’m flying straight up in the air.
When you get here, I’ll land on your hair.
I flew right out of that hole.
Goodbye! Goodbye, Mr. Mole.
William Lyon Mackenzie King
William Lyon Mackenzie King
Sat in the middle & played with string
And he loved his mother like anything—
William Lyon Mackenzie King.
Tony Baloney
Tony Baloney is fibbing again—
Look at him wiggle and try to pretend.
Tony Baloney is telling a lie:
Phony old Tony Baloney, goodbye!
Skyscraper
Skyscraper, skyscraper,
Scrape me some sky:
Tickle the sun
While the stars go by.
Tickle the stars
While the sun’s climbing high,
Then skyscraper, skyscraper
Scrape me some sky.
Tricking
When they bring me a plate
Full of stuff that I hate,
Like spinach and turnips and guck,
I sit very straight
And I look at the plate
And I quietly say to it: “YUCK!”
Little kids bawl
’Cause I used to be small,
And I threw it all over the tray.
But now I am three
And I’m much more like me—
I yuck till they take it away.
But sometimes my dad
Gets terriffickly mad,
And he says, “Don’t you drink from that cup!”
But he can’t say it right
’Cause he’s not very bright—
So I trick him and drink it all up!
Then he gets up and roars;
He stomps on the floor
And he hollers, “I warn you, don’t eat!!”
He counts up to ten
And I trick him again:
I practically finish the meat.
Then I start on the guck
And my daddy goes “Yuck!”
And he scrunches his eyes till they hurt.
So I shovel it in
And he grins a big grin.
And then we have dessert.
I Found a Silver Dollar
I found a silver dollar,
But I had to pay the rent.
I found an alligator
But his steering-wheel was bent.
I found a little monkey,
So I took him to the zoo.
Then I found a sticky kiss and so
I brought it home to you.
If You Should Meet
If you should meet a grundiboob,
Comfort him with sugar cubes.
Then send him on his way again
With feather beds, in case of rain.
If you meet him going out
Place a doughnut on his snout.
But if you meet him coming back,
Give his nose a mighty whack.
And if you meet a potamus,
Sleeping on a cotamus,
Do not sing or talkamus,
But take him for a walkamus.
If you should meet a crankabeast,
Be sure his forehead isn’t creased;
Then pat him gently on his heads
And tuck him quickly into beds.
Higgledy Piggledy
Higgledy piggledy
Wiggledy wump,
I met a man
Who caught a mump:
With his left cheek lumpy
And his right cheek bumpy—
Higgledy piggledy
Wiggledy wump.
Higgledy piggledy
Sniggledy sneezle,
I met a man
Who caught a measle:
With his chest all dots
And his face all spots—
Higgledy piggledy
Sniggledy sneezle.
Thinking in Bed
I’m thinking in bed,
’Cause I can’t get out
Till I learn how to think
What I’m thinking about;
What I’m thinking about
Is a person to be—
A sort of a person
Who feels like me.
I might still be Alice,
Excepting I’m not.
And Snoopy is super,
But not when it’s hot;
I couldn’t be Piglet,
I don’t think I’m Pooh,
I know I’m not Daddy
And I can’t be you.
My breakfast is waiting.
My clothes are all out,
But what was that thing
I was thinking about?
I’ll never get up
If I lie here all day;
But I still haven’t thought,
So I’ll just have to stay.
If I was a Grinch
I expect I would know.
I might have been Batman,
But I don’t think so.
There’s so many people
I don’t seem to be—
I guess I’ll just have to
Get up and be me.
Nicholas Grouch
Nicholas Grouch
Has filled his pouch
With garbage lids and bears.
When he gets home
His wife will groan
And throw him down the stairs.
Nicholas Grouch
Has filled his pouch
With wet potato peelings.
When he gets back
His wife will yack
And hang him up on the ceiling.
Nicholas Grouch
Has filled his pouch
With licorice sticks and toffee.
When he gets in
His wife will grin
And give him a cup of coffee.
Psychapoo
Psychapoo,
The silly goose,
Brushed his teeth
With apple juice.
Psychapoo,
The melon-head,
Rode his bicycle
In bed.
His mother said,
“Sit down and eat!”
He swallowed the plate
And left the meat.
His father asked him,
“Can’t you hear?”
He had a carrot
In his ear.
He met a dog
And shook its tail,
Took a bath
And caught a whale,
Put it in his
Piggy bank,
Said, “I think I’ll
Call it Frank.”
His brother asked him,
“Can’t you see?”
He drank his hair
And combed his tea.
He took a trip
To Newfoundland,
Walking on water
And swimming on land
And every time
He heard a shout,
He took his pencil
And rubbed it out.
It isn’t me,
It isn’t you,
It’s nutty, mutty
Psychapoo.
On Tuesdays I Polish My Uncle
I went to play in the park.
