His head dips. “No, Tex, our forever started in Paris.”
Jesus. The things that boy does to me. I’m breathless and apparently struck dumb because I can’t think of a single word.
“Cat got your tongue, sweetheart?” His hands trail down my back and over my butt.
My head falls on his shoulder, and I moan.
“Oh, I’ll be making you scream in a few minutes. First, I want to make sure…”
I look up and curl my arms around him. “Yes, I’m definitely going home. No, it won’t change a single thing between us. You’re going to rock these shows the way I know only you can, and you’re going to love every second in between. Have fun with your boys, and for the love of God, make sure you don’t lose Cooper!”
He laughs and closes his eyes. His shoulders sag with relief. Leaving should hurt, but I know it’s not about me.
“You shouldn’t have to do that.”
“But I will, and nothing will change us. It’s fine, Kitt. Our plans will sometimes require…modification.”
He presses a soft kiss to my mouth. “What will you do?”
“I’ll stay with Jennifer for a little while.”
His eyes go wide.
“I know, I know.” But I don’t like to be alone, and I’m due a visit there. “Just for a week or two, and then I’ll go home and wait for you guys to get back.”
“You’ve had it all planned since…”
“Yesterday. I hate that you’re so stressed. This is your tour, Kitt, and you should be living it up. The start was so much fun, but it’s not now. Is it?”
He opens his mouth and closes it.
“You can’t lie to me, and I can’t ruin this for you.”
“You’re not ruining it, Texas.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I do. I don’t want you to go. Maybe we can do something though? Travel without the rest of them, arrive at different times?”
“Kitt, it won’t work. The only answer is me going home, and you rocking the tour. When it’s over, you’ll come home to me, and we’ll start our life together, the way we want.”
“What does that look like, Tex? Because this right here is what my life is.”
“This is your working life. I’m talking about our life. Me and you.”
His lips part, and he takes a breath. “Are you telling me, you want to move in with me?”
“No. That would be ridiculous. We’ve not even been together for two months.”
He smirks. “Doesn’t mean you’re not going to do it.”
No, it doesn’t.
His strong tattooed arms hold me close. “Texas, will you move in with me?”
I nod, and his lips find mine.
TEXAS
SATURDAY, JULY 4
NOTTING HILL, ENGLAND
In the grand scheme of things, coming to Jennifer’s hasn’t been the best choice. She’s been acting like she’s the perfect mother while being my friend.
Um, hello? Your sexual conquests are not a suitable discussion topic to have with your daughter!
I wanted to jab knives into my ears. She didn’t stop, not even when I’d turned cold because I was seconds away from puking.
Kitt and Dad have been constantly messaging me since I arrived two days ago. I miss them both so much. I feel like I’m missing a limb, but it’s only just bearable.
It helps that I still speak with them all the time. Kitt calls me every night and talks to me until I fall asleep. I’m not sure whom he’s doing it for the most, but we both need to fall asleep with each other.
Jennifer is brewing a pot of coffee when I walk into the kitchen. Her hair, makeup, and outfit are flawless, and it’s not even eight in the morning yet.
How does she do it? She must get up at six a.m.
“Good morning, Texas,” she says, taking another mug from the cupboard for me.
“Morning.”
“How are you doing?”
She asks me that every morning and evening. I think she asks because she cares, but I can’t make myself believe it. Whenever we talk, I feel like there’s an agenda.
Is she only doing it because she feels guilty for not being around? Does she only like me because I don’t require feeding, changing, teaching?
“I’m okay. I’ve not seen much more about the woman’s baby, so I think it’s dying down.”
She gives me a smile. “It always does.”
She’d know. When it came out that I was living with Dad and she’d gone back to London, she got a lot of shit for it. People couldn’t understand why she’d left me. I still can’t even though Dad has explained. I can’t say that I’m okay with it, but I don’t hate her. I would never call her terrible names, like the way others did.
“Do you think you’ll return on tour for the next leg? You love Australia.”
“I’m not sure. As much as I hate being away from Dad and Kitt, I kind of want to find out what I’m good at. I don’t think I’ll do that if I’m forever tucked away in the tour bubble.”
Jennifer flashes her perfect teeth in a Hollywood smile and hands me my coffee. “Let’s sit in the drawing room, and we can talk through your options.”
I don’t know why the kitchen isn’t good enough for coffee consumption, but apparently, it’s not, so I follow her into the next room. It’s huge, painted light grey with high ceilings, dark wood floor, stylish vintage seats, and a massive marble fireplace.
There is no TV. It’s the only flaw.
She sits opposite me and puts her drink down. I keep hold of mine. There’s not much that will get me to pry my fingers off my coffee until it’s drained.
“Have you given it much thought?” she asks.
“To?”
“To what you’d like to do. Texas, you’re beautiful and intelligent. You can do whatever you want.”
“Yeah, no idea.”
“Well, would you like to pursue something in the field of your studies?” The distaste drips from her words. She never liked that I studied something so gruesome.
“I’m not sure. I chose that because it interested me, but I don’t think I want it to be my career.”
“Lovely.” She raises her eyebrows. “What about modelling? You have the face and the figure.”
I blink. “Um…” My modelling background is limited to a few shoots with Dad over the years. I don’t know if I’d have the patience to do what Jennifer does.
“Why not give it a try? There is no harm in having a go. It’s the only true way to know if you enjoy something.”
“Okay,” I reply, not entirely sure how we got here.
She brightens, and her green eyes sparkle. “Fabulous.”
Is it?
“I have a shoot at noon and then dinner with friends tonight. I would love it if you accompanied me. You’ve seen your dad at work a million times over. I’d like to share that with you, too.”
I lick my lips. She would? I look down and mutter, “Sure.”
God, why is this so awkward?
I have no trouble with talking to Dad about almost anything. With Jennifer, I want to keep things to safe small talk.
“Thank you, Texas,” she replies, her voice wobbling with emotion.
Shit.
I’m not good with this. My skin is buzzing, signalling for me to get the hell out of here. But I won’t let myself. I won’t run from my relationship with her, not now that I’m trying the adult thing. No matter how hard it is to connect with her, I’ll try. Maybe we’ll both get something out of it, or maybe not, but it’s worth a try.
Like modelling?
Yeah, I’ll see how that one goes.
“It’ll be nice to spend some time together,” I say.
“I’m so pleased to hear that. I’ve wanted to show you off and take you to see what I do for years. Perhaps we can go shopping, too, and get you some new clothes.”
I look down at my ripped denim shorts and System of a Down T-shirt. “What’s wrong with my clothes?”
“Oh, nothing. I’ve always loved your sense of style, but you don’t have a lot here, and I’d like to help you pick out a few things.”
That’s her way of saying she wants to choose my outfits because she’s not happy with what I wear.
I shrug one shoulder. “Sure. I’m just going to try Dad,” I say, holding up my phone.
I step out of the room, and the phone rings a few times before I hear Dad’s voice.
“Texas, are you okay?”
“Yeah. Are you?”
“It’s different,” he replies.
“Things calmed down?”
He clears his throat, and that means they have, but he doesn’t want to say because that’ll be admitting that I was the problem. Dad has never seen me as a problem.
“Things are going well,” he replies.
“I’m glad. It’s not bad here either. Plus, Jennifer has, like, thirty bodyguards.”
He chuckles. “Yes, she does go over the top there. But it allows me to sleep easier, knowing you’re well protected.”
“Always have been, Dad. Where are you now?”
“About to hit the sack.”
“Oh, sorry.”
“No, don’t go yet. Have you spoken to Kitt?”
My heart stops. “Not yet. Why?”
“No reason. You always assume the worst. He misses you.”
“I miss him, too.”
“I know, love. Don’t tell him I told you, but he has a countdown on his phone.”
I laugh and bite my lip. “He does?” God, even from halfway around the world, he still makes me feel like the only person on the planet.
“He would kill me if he knew I’d mentioned it.”
“I’m glad you did.”
“Me, too. How is Jennifer? Are you enjoying your time with her?” He sounds scared to ask and scared for my reply. It would really hurt him if he thought I hated it here.
I lean against the wall because this is as shocking to me as it will be to him. “Actually, it’s okay.”
“Wow.”
“I know. Not sure how or when it happened, but I feel different being here compared to when I visited before. I’m trying, and so is she. She’s taking me to work with her today. Said she’d like to show me what she does, the way I’ve seen what you do.” Nerves are buzzing in my stomach. “I didn’t know I had so much hope for a relationship with her.”
“Tex,” Dad says on a sigh, “of course you do. She’s your mum.”
I clear my throat. “I’ll let you know how it goes.”
“Enjoy it. Anyway, I’m sorry to run so soon, but we have an early start. Unless there’s something else you need?”
“No, I’m good. Just wanted to say hi. I’ll speak to you later, Dad.”
“Love you, pumpkin.”
If he loved me, he would drop that fucking nickname.
“Love you, too, Dad.”
I hang up and immediately fire a text off to Kitt.
How many days now?
His reply comes fast.
I’m going to fucking kill him.
I laugh and squeeze my phone. God, I miss him.
Sleep, rock star. I’ll speak to you tomorrow…when we’re a day closer.
I’m going off you, Tex.
No, you’re not. Love you. x
He sends back a single kiss, which makes my heart race. He doesn’t need any more than one letter to let me know how he feels.
“Everything all right?” Jennifer asks when I go back into the drawing room.
“Yeah, fine,” I reply with a smile. “Dad’s good, and so is Kitt.”
“Glad to hear it.”
I down the last of my coffee. “So, where to first?”
Her smile makes me wish we’d done this sooner. I’m not naive enough to think that one outing together will fix a lifetime of rejection and confusion, but it’s a start. I want to understand her.
Kitt lost his mum before he was old enough to even remember her. It puts things into perspective. If Jennifer and I can work out a way to have a relationship deeper than the odd phone call and short visit, then I’m all in.
“Thank you, darling. We’ll start with breakfast and shopping. Come, I know the perfect place. You’ll love the food.”
With hope in my heart, I return her smile.
KITT
SATURDAY, JULY 18
DENVER, COLORADO
I’m exhausted. Walking to my hotel room took every last ounce of energy I had left. I feel like we’ve been doing back-to-back shows for a year. It was always going to be full-on, and we chose for it to be like this, but it’s not easy.
I ache in every bone, every joint, and every muscle. My thighs feel like they’re bleeding from the inside. Not going to lie, I fucking love it, but it’s taking a toll. Thankfully, after the next two shows, we’ll have a day off.
That day will be dedicated to Texas.
It’s been much harder than I thought. I used to think people were lying when they said they didn’t have time to send a text. I thought it was an excuse because they’d had enough. But it’s not an excuse. I miss her so much that I’m constantly looking for her. She should be here. I shouldn’t have to get in this bed alone.
Chucking back the covers, I strip and get straight in. It’s four a.m., so it’s eleven a.m. for Texas. I lie down, and immediately, I’m being pulled under. My body sinks into the mattress, and my eyes feel like they’re being weighted.
Groaning, I lazily tap the screen, missing her name a few times, and call her.
Come on, pick up.
I jab my free hand into one eye and then the next.
Stay the fuck awake.
Fucking hell, I miss her calls because I’m sleeping. It’s almost midday over there.
What’s keeping her?
The phone rings again, mocking me. I click it off and growl. This sucks beyond measure. I feel her absence every second. She might as well be living on another planet. I can’t even get to her in less than ten hours, if I needed to.
Why would you need to, dick?
Tex isn’t the most independent. She’s on her own. Jennifer has never been much of a mum. The thought of Tex feeling lonely without anyone to talk to tears me to shreds. Everyone Texas holds dear and can confide in is in America.
Tomorrow, I’ll get a snotty text about how I haven’t bothered. But she won’t directly say it. Oh no, that would be far too easy.
She’ll ask what I was up to. What’ve you been up to then? She’s not asking what I’ve been up to, not really. It’s a woman’s way of saying, You’re in the shit, you prick.
With a deep sigh I feel right down to my feet, I close my eyes. I can’t call again. I don’t have the energy to force my eyelids open.
Hard work, I signed up for. I’m not afraid of it, and I never have been, but Tex is hard work on crack.
SUNDAY, JULY 19
PHOENIX, ARIZONA
“So, Kitt, can we talk about Texas?” Vanessa, the host, asks.
Even the sound of her name has my heart thumping.
We’re on a talk show before heading to the arena here in Phoenix.
So far, Vanessa has covered pretty safe topics, such as the British accent, our favourite song to work on, and who gets the loudest screams—me. She knows not to broach the pregnant-whore situation. Lindsay and Jodie have taken care of that.
My statement is out there, and that’s all the time I’m giving it until I’m required to do something else.
I sit forward, resting my arms on my legs. “Please do.”
“She’s back in England now? Do you miss her?”
“Yeah, she had a few things to do back home, but I’m hoping she’ll be able to join me in Australia.”
“What was it like to tell Mark Knight that you were dating his daughter?”
I laugh and sit back. “Terrifying, but it went a lot better than I’d thought. I still have all my body parts.”
Cooper snorts. “Debatable.”
I shove his
arm.
Vanessa adds, “So, he was fine about it?”
“I mean, he didn’t do cartwheels around the bus, but he can see how much I love her.”
“Aw,” Vanessa coos. “She’s a lucky girl. And you’re a lucky guy!”
Milo laughs. “He hit the jackpot, and he’ll spend every day hoping she doesn’t realise what she’s done.”
I roll my eyes. Don’t mention Lexi. It will make you the world’s biggest tosser.
“Cooper, what’s the best part of being a rock star?” Vanessa asks, giving him a flirty smile.
I tense and feel Milo’s body stiffen beside me.
Fuck. He wouldn’t.
His eyes darken. “It’s before the watershed, so I’ll say the music, Vanessa.”
Wow. His filter is on.
But I suppose, after saying fuck not once but four times on live radio, he’s learned his lesson. Or he just doesn’t want another punch in the gut for being a dick.
She throws her head back and laughs. “Thank you for censoring there, Cooper.”
Oh God, he’s going to shag her.
Milo chuckles, thinking the same thing.
Vanessa is in her late forties, but you wouldn’t be able to tell. She must have a very good plastic surgeon who’s stopped her aging at thirty.
Coop won’t care that she’s more than double his age and could’ve given birth to him.
If you’re honest, you’ll admit the pre-Texas you would’ve had a second look.
“How is touring together? Didn’t you do most of Europe in a bus?”
“We did,” I say. “It was incredible, but I have no desire to be stuck in close quarters with these idiots for a month again.”
Milo scoffs, “He loved it.”
“How are you enjoying the States?”
Coop grins and pats his stomach. “The food is amazing.”
Vanessa laughs, keeping her eyes on him for a fraction longer than she does with me and Milo. He had better be discreet about this.
What am I saying? He’s going to shout it from the rooftops.
“Well, thank you, boys.” She turns to the camera and holds up our album cover. “Filthy Sound is at the Gila River Arena tonight at seven thirty p.m., and the album is out now.”
We wait until we’re told to move.
With the Band (With the Band #1) Page 30
