“You don't. You know it. I know it. So say it!” I pant angrily, even as I arch my back to him. “Let it all out, right now! Right here!”
With a bellow, he rears up and tears his shirt off. He removes all his clothes in a blur and is upon me even before I can inch away.
“Go on,” I challenge, even as a moan escapes my lips. “Make love to me. You can't, right? You can fuck me, treat me like the whore you think I am, but you won't ever be able to make love to me again. Am I right?” My voice drops to a whisper as tears fill my eyes. “Am I right, Jaxon?”
He tugs my loose pants down my hips and kneels before me. I hear him curse savagely when he sees the dried blood on my thighs and the ugly marks and bruises on my skin.
Leaning his forehead against the flat of my belly, he breathes raggedly against my skin, his trembling hands cradling my thighs.
“Zoey, I love you. I love you. I love you.”
A tiny sob escapes my lips. He is not saying it to me. He is trying to convince himself.
I shake my head from side to side as he plants a kiss on my navel. Softly, he kisses a trail from my belly down my hips, down my thighs and gently eases my legs apart.
“Tell me if it hurts,” he says, his face twisting in pain and restrained fury at the sight of my injuries.
I cup the side of his face in my palm and thumb his cheek. “You can never hurt me with your touch, Jaxon,” I whisper. “You know that. I want you. Always.”
He stands up, rising to his full height. I put my hands against his chest, feeling his heartbeat, tracing the fresh cuts and wounds on his skin. He looks at me, and whispers, “I will never not want you, Zoey. Never. Don't you know it? Can't you feel it? How much I want you? How much I love you?”
I close my eyes to stop him from seeing the tears.
“But...it kills me,” he continues in a strangled voice, his hand over mine, pressing my palm against his heart. “It is like a knife, twisting in my gut, in my heart, to know...to know that you...you were—” His slams his other fist into the wall above my head. His forehead falls upon mine, and he leans heavily on me, his features rippling and struggling against his feelings.
I stay completely still, feeling his hammering, powerful heartbeats, listening to his uneven breaths, coming slowly, achingly alive in his heat. Slowly, I tilt my face up.
“I understand. I...know how much it hurts. I know why you are angry, and why you might hate me now.”
His eyes fly open at my words.
He holds my shoulders firmly, staring hard into my eyes. “Zoey,” he says very softly. “I am angry, yes. But I don't hate you. I love you.”
I stare up at him, expecting to see him glance away at his lie. But his gaze is unwavering. I can catch no doubt, no lie in his eyes.
Jaxon.
He has never lied to me.
And he will never lie to me.
Deep in my heart, in my soul, down to my very core, I know that.
I push myself up on my toes, and after a heartbeat, he leans in. Slanting his lips across mine, he kisses me tenderly. He deepens the kiss slowly, taking his time, breathing me in, tasting me as he cups his hand over the back of my neck.
He deepens the kiss and very gently, his hand trails down my chest to caress the swell of my breasts and his fingers flutter lightly across the hard aching nubs of my nipples. His touch is light, gentle, tentative and uncertain. He is not sure if he is hurting me, seeing the numerous raw marks and bruises all over my body. He doesn't want to hurt me. Unlike Owen, who had viciously tried to mark me and injure me horribly with his brutal strength. He thought that by wounding me and scarring me, he would be seared forever into my flesh and mind.
Owen will forever be a Slave, even if he wears a Commander's uniform.
Jaxon is a fighter, a survivor, a leader. His men remain loyal to him, long after he is no longer a Commander and has become a rebel leader. He fights fearlessly, unceasingly for what is right, what he wants.
And what he wants—is me.
But he is mindful not to hurt me, even though he wants me so bad.
His raging erection tells me how much he wants me, and it makes me grin against his lips.
“What?” Jaxon asks, squinting at me. “What are you smiling at?” He nuzzles my neck affectionately, playfully.
I shake my head, feeling my cheeks burn up. I wonder if he can see me blush in the darkness of the cave.
“What?” he persists. “Tell me.”
I shake my head again, breaking into giggles.
“Still not telling? I see. You are asking for it then, Miss Whard. Don't say I didn't warn you!”
With that, he starts to tickle me mercilessly. I shriek and squirm, but he is relentless. He tickles me until I finally put up my palms in surrender.
“Okay, okay, stop...” I chortle breathlessly. “I can't take it anymore.”
“Fine. Talk.”
I chuckle and press my hands over my mouth.
“Oh, you still refuse to talk.” He lets out an exaggerated huff of exasperation. “I will have my wicked way with you then, until you succumb.” He licks his lips.
“What are you going to do to me?” I tease.
His eyes darken. “I'll make you come, for me,” he whispers. “And then I'll make love to you.”
I gasp as he pushes my legs apart and kneels. Before I can stop him, he is already kissing his way up the inside of my thigh. I moan with pleasure when he licks my throbbing clit and gently flicks it with his tongue. He laves his tongue up and down the folds of my pussy, slowly increasing the pressure. “Harder,” I pant.
I feel his lips curve up as he sucks my clit into his mouth and swirls his tongue around it, lightly at first, then harder and more insistently, until I can hardly stand up as the pleasure builds low in my belly and starts to climb.
I can hardly stand up straight, my body threatening to explode in ecstasy. “Penetrate me, Jaxon,” I breathe.
“You...you sure?” he frowns, his eyes flitting across my bruises and fading blood stains.
I nod. “Yes. I want you inside me. Feel me, Jaxon. Feel how wet I am for you.”
He looks up and his eyes hold mine as he slowly slides a finger inside me. He lets out a groan when he feels my juices squirting as I clench my walls around his finger.
I wrap my legs around his hips as he hoists me up.
“Tell me you love fucking me,” I say, my arms around his neck.
“I love fucking you,” he grates, his eyes glittering as the head of his cock nudges against my wet, quivering folds.
“Then fuck me.”
He does.
He slides his rigid, throbbing cock into my body in one smooth stroke.
Impaled on his rock hard cock, I suck in a breath as my muscles pulse and clench around his girth. My head lolls forward to drop onto his powerful shoulders. “Jaxon...fuck me hard.”
I won't break. I'm not a fragile, wounded, broken thing.
After a sharp breath, Jaxon starts thrusting his hips, shoving me higher up the wall. “Oh God,” he breathes, freezing suddenly to try to regain his control. His eyes close at the intense pleasure. Swallowing and forcing in a deep breath, he begins to move in me, gradually increasing his pace until he is pounding into me. My breasts bounce against his chest, the friction making my nipples throb and ache even more. I want more, more of his touch, his tongue, his mouth. I want him.
I lean in and suck his earlobe into my mouth. “Jaxon Ryleth, do you like fucking me?” I whisper into his ear.
He gasps when I lick the shell of his ear, outlining the curve of his ear with my tongue.
Removing one hand from under my buttocks, Jaxon grabs my breast and thumbs my nipple in tight circles. When he rolls the pebble hard nub between his fingers, I let out a cry at the shot of pleasure through my body.
“I'm going to fuck you out of your mind...” Jaxon grits out.
“You!” My eyes blaze, clearing for just an instant to see his rugged face clearly. “Yo
u...are out of your mind,” I breathe against his neck.
“For you.” His voice softens.
His strokes slow down, and he lifts me off the wall and lays me on the ground on my back, on top of our discarded clothing. He is still deeply buried inside me, moving slowly, gently.
He slides in and out of me, letting the pleasure simmer and build gradually.
Lowering me on my back, he continues kissing me, as he slides in and out of me smoothly. His hand grazes the side of my breast as he traces my curves. He strokes the curve of my waist and hips, and trails down my thigh. Supporting my leg under my knee, he pushes my leg up slowly, spreading me wider as he increases his pace.
I can feel the first flickers of my orgasm tingling through my nerves as he strokes me. “I...I'm coming,” I pant, blinking up at him.
He stares deeply into my eyes as he thrusts deeper and harder into me. “Come...in me,” I whisper. “Deep in me.”
With a shuddering breath, he blinks hard and shakes his head. “Can't. You might...”
“I won't. I can't...get pregnant.”
His eyes widen as he stills. Completely.
“Dr. Rolin injected me with a serum, so I won't get pregnant.” I turn my head to the side, tearing my eyes away from his. “I can't get pregnant. Ever.”
Jaxon pushes himself up, his arms straight. He stares down at me, but he is so silent and so still I don't even hear him breathing. Finally, he holds my face in his hand and thumbs away a stray tear.
“I will find Dr. Rolin, and I will make him undo this,” he says quietly.
I turn my head to blink up at him, speechless.
“And if—if, there is no way...” he continues carefully, thoughtfully. “That is perfectly all right. You are not damaged or deficient or lacking in any way. You hear me, Zoey? Yes, I do want children with you. But it doesn't matter if they are our biological children or not.”
“What...are you saying?” I rasp at last.
“What I am saying is that I want to have a family with you. And yes, I do hope that you will have my baby, some day. But if we can't, we'll still have a family. We'll adopt. And if we do manage to have children of our own, we'll adopt as well. This war, has orphaned many children. Like me, they too are looking, hoping, yearning to have a family, a family to love them.”
He smiles, and it is a beautiful smile, full of love and hope.
My heart floods with so many conflicting, confusing emotions, I can only gape at him. But one feeling is stronger and more undeniable than all the rest. I have no doubt, no doubt at all, that I love this man.
“Oh Jaxon...” I start, tears springing to my eyes.
His smile broadens into a mischievous grin. “Now...where were we? You'll tell me, won't you?”
A smile spreads across my face, wide and bright. “Tell? I'll show you.”
With that, I push him down onto his back and straddle him. Placing my palms flat on his chest, I run my hands over his nipples, teasing them between my fingers before moving to his arms. Pinning his wrists to the ground, I start to rock my hips as I grind down on him. He bucks his hips, following my rhythm and thrusting steadily into me.
I lace my fingers through his as I ride towards my climax. We come at the same time, crying out in ecstasy as our bodies spasm as one.
I continue moving as his semen shoots deep into my body. This is the first time that he has deposited his seed inside me. Jaxon had always been careful to protect me, always sheathing himself with a condom whenever we made love. But now I see the raw abandon and pleasure rippling across his face as he feels my wet walls milking him, squeezing the sensitive head and length of his cock as he comes.
With a growl, he grabs me and flips me on my back. Crushing me tightly to him with both arms, he continues moving inside me for a long time, letting the last drops of his seed spurt into me and feeling my tight, clenching muscles grip him and squeeze him relentlessly as he shudders against me.
He folds me into his arms, our heart beating frantically together, our chests rising and falling against each other. When I have finally caught my breath, I rise up on one elbow and gaze down at him.
“Now, will you tell me?” He arches an eyebrow at me.
I flush and feign ignorance. “Tell you what?”
“Tell me what you were smiling about when I was getting all hot and bothered for you.”
I narrow my eyes at him and see the cheeky gleam disappear from his eyes. He is still smiling, but his eyes are anxious and searching.
I swallow. “I was smiling because...I was so happy. So happy to feel you, to know that you still want me.”
His face becomes serious. “Zoey,” he says, taking my hand. “I've said it to you, and I'll say it to you every day for the rest of our lives. I love you. I will always want you, always love you. Always.”
I stare at him for a long, long time.
Finally, I tell him, solemnly, and with all my heart, “I've never said it to you, but I say it to you now. I love you, Jaxon. I have loved you since you tried to save my mother ten years ago. I never forgot you.” I trace the scar on his shoulder, a reminder that he took a bullet from his Commander for daring to do what was right. For my mother, and me. “I loved you, even when you delivered me to the Palace. When you made love to me the first time, I gave you not just my virginity. I gave you my heart that night. I love you, Jaxon. Always.”
He pulls me into his arms fiercely and hugs me tight. Pressing his lips to the top of my head, he whispers, “My love. My life.”
My eyelashes brush against the cuts zigzagging down his chest. My eyes rake over his tanned, muscular body which has grown thinner and is now covered with evidence of the recent torture he received in captivity.
Running my shaking fingers down his torso, I stifle a sob at the sight of the many marks and bruises on his body. He has been hurt so much, more so than me. And yet I was so heedless and insensitive to his pain and suffering earlier on. I had punched him, hammering my fists, my shame and anger into his chest when he was already hurting so badly.
“I'm sorry, Jaxon,” I whisper, hiccuping a sob.
“Sorry? For what? Why are you crying, Zoey? No more tears.” He frowns at me, thumbing away my tears. “Hush. We are together now. And we'll be fine. I promise.” His tone is firm, fierce even.
“Yeah.” I sniff and rub my eyes. “There. No more tears.”
“No. We have shed enough blood, sweat and tears. No more. This will end soon. Very soon.”
I curl up against him. “How will it end?” I murmur, unconscious that I am wondering aloud.
Jaxon strokes my hair, and answers so softly that I barely hear him, “With his death.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
We are up before the sun, dressed, fed and armed. We will have to leave this cave and keep moving. Owen and his soldiers will be on the hunt for us. I check the knife and gun at my side and shoulder my backpack. There is a set of spare uniforms, energy bars and water in my pack. Jaxon's pack is loaded with more weapons, yet he swings the pack up easily, as if it weighs no more than a pillow.
Jaxon turns and gives me a quick kiss on the mouth. “Ready?”
I nod. “Let's go.”
We push out of the cave into the dense forest, and move swiftly among the shadows. I follow his lead, treading as quietly and quickly as I can through the undergrowth, even though the combat boots that he'd gotten for me are a tad too big. But I have laced them up tightly and having big shoes beats having no shoes at all.
Sunlight gradually filters through the thick canopy, and the temperature rises with the sun, but still we keep moving. I am hot, tired and thirsty but I try to conserve my water supply, limiting myself to just a few tiny sips, just to wet my lips. Jaxon shows no signs of fatigue. He soldiers on grimly, pausing at intervals to allow me to catch up. But we try not to speak to each other as much as possible. Silence is golden in this case. Our words, our voices, may be used to track us down. Whenever I show signs of slowing down, Jaxon will
always reach out his hand to me. But the narrow gaps between the trees and the obstacles in our paths don't allow us to proceed hand in hand. Before releasing my hand, he will invariably give my hand a firm squeeze, or press the back of my hand to his lips. These small, sweet gestures come so naturally to Jaxon, he simply does them intuitively, without even thinking about them. But they make everything so much more bearable for me. His touch and his kiss mean more to me than he'll ever know.
Swatting away an insect at the back of my neck, I almost stumble over a tree root. I right myself quickly and walk right into Jaxon's shoulder. In a flash, he spins round and claps his hand over my mouth. I gasp and my eyes round, but I read the warning in his eyes and I nod sharply.
As I gulp, he removes his hand from my mouth slowly, his dark eyes darting over his shoulder, and scanning the surroundings. Turning his head to the side, he mouths: They're here.
I can hear them too. Voices, the crunch of heavy boots, the crackle of static, a shouted order.
I recognize Owen's voice.
I freeze, not daring to take a step forward. The snap of a twig underfoot is all that is needed to give our location away.
Jaxon is creeping forward, slipping through the trees like a shadow. I watch him move with animal stealth and silence, his gun drawn, his eyes darting back and forth. He looks back at me over his shoulder and gives a terse nod. Sucking in a breath and holding it, I follow his every step, gingerly putting my foot down only on the spots where I can remember him having stepped on just seconds ago. I finally reach him and lower myself to a crouch beside him. We are crouching at the edge of a steep incline. Jaxon jerks his finger downwards, and I crane my neck to peer past the long grass down the incline.
My eyes widen and I almost scramble back in panic. Yet terror is the one thing that has me rooted to the spot.
Release In The Dark (DARK erotic romance series) Page 12
