I turn my face to the side and he sweeps the hair from my eyes, and cups my chin as he captures my mouth with his possessively. Our tongue tangle, and he starts to thrust his tongue hard and deep into my mouth, mimicking what his cock is doing to my quivering pussy.
His hand moves down to rub my nipples before moving down to my clit. He stokes the sensitive nub gently, taking his cue from my shuddering body and breathy moans before starting to rub harder. I gasp, and a strangled cry bubbles from my throat. He starts to pound me hard, his hips pistoning as he pushes deeply and desperately into my body. My name leaves his lips, and as his seed spills into me, I climax and my rippling walls milk his cock greedily, taking everything that he has to give, and more.
He falls on top of me, but his palm slams to the ground to cushion the weight of his massive body against mine. I feel some of his semen trickling down the inside of my thigh, his seed mingled with my juices, flowing out of my body.
Inexplicably, there is a sudden sense of loss and sadness as I lean my cheek against his face. His seed will never take in my body. I cannot conceive his child. Cannot feel his baby growing in my womb.
“What's wrong?” Jaxon kisses my eyelids tenderly.
“Nothing.”
I can feel him frowning. “That—is the most dreaded word in any man's vocabulary.”
He zips up his pants, and pulls mine up over my hips. Fastening my belt expertly and efficiently, he wraps my shirt and his arms over my chest without doing up the buttons. Cradling me with my back against his solid chest, he leans his chin against my head and says, “Talk to me. Tell me about...nothing.”
I shake my head. “It's really nothing.”
“Okay.”
We sit in silence for a long while. I bend my head and fumble with my buttons, but Jaxon pushes my hands away. “Let me.”
He takes his time, doing up each button with care. He smooths his hands down my arms and hugs me. “I...I just wish I could give you...a baby,” I whisper into the dark.
He jerks behind me and I hear him swallow. “Zoey,” he says at last. “You are perfect as you are. Having a family with you is my dream. We make our own family, our own happiness. We can adopt, and I will love the child and you with all my heart. That is the truth. The absolute truth, Zoey.”
I open my mouth, but at this moment, I just can't find the words to adequately express how I feel. I feel loved, cherished, wanted by Jaxon, and I feel a sense of bliss and security, blessed beyond measure. Yet beneath the rippling surface of my happiness, in the cold, dark depths of my heart, I feel a seething hatred and anger, a gnawing, growing hunger for vengeance. I hate what has been done to me. The Emperor, his vile Empress and that spineless Dr. Rolin had no right, no right to do what they did to my body! They abused me physically and psychologically, and they altered, destroyed a fundamental part of my womanhood. Given time, I know I can recover from all those scars and wounds that they inflicted on my body and mind. No matter how deep and painful those wounds were, the pain and damage weren't permanent. But to make me barren, to forcibly take a part of me, a part of Jaxon away...forever...
My hands ball into fists and my knuckles grind down into the hard, concrete floor. Even though Jaxon has been so comforting and assuring, so strong and steadfast in his love, this hate and fury continue to boil in my gut, exhorting me to seek some form of revenge and redress. I will make them pay! With their blood, with their worthless lives! Somehow, I just can't let this go.
I turn to see Jaxon watching me, his eyes dark and intense. I hold his gaze, my brows slowly furrowing as so many unasked and unanswered questions rush to the front of my mind.
Finally, my mind is coherent and calm enough for me to give voice to my queries and concerns. “You said that we won't be rejoining the cell,” I begin slowly. “So...where are we going?”
Jaxon inhales deeply. “We...I—am going to do what must be done, and end all this fighting and terror and suffering.”
“End this? How?” I narrow my eyes at him.
“The snake must be cut off at the head.”
The head?
The head of State. The head of the Unified States—is the Emperor.
My eyes widen as I grasp his meaning. “You...are going to assassinate the Emperor...” I whisper.
His eyes glitter dangerously in the dark, confirming his deadly intent.
“This...it's too dangerous!” I gasp. “You...”
“I will succeed,” he says, his voice steady, strong and grim. “I know where he is, and I know what to do.”
“It is too dangerous...” I repeat, shaking my head.
“I'll leave you somewhere safe. When it's done, I will return for you, and we...”
“No!”
“Zoey, I promise you...”
“No! No, Jaxon, no! You are not leaving me...somewhere safe,” I growl, grabbing his collar. “I am coming with you!”
It is his turn to shake his head and chant my words back to me, “It is too dangerous...”
“Yes. It is dangerous. It is dangerous everywhere. There is nowhere safe in all these horrible, terrible States. Do you know what that—snake, did to me?” I spit. “The Emperor made me watch as he fed a girl to his snakes, hundreds and hundreds of writhing snakes behind a glass wall in his chambers. He laughed as his snakes devoured the girl whole, sneered as I screamed. He tortured and murdered so many Sirens in the Palace. We were served up as disposable objects of pleasure, to be used and discarded. He taunted me, tormented me, whipped me...” I pant heavily, trying not to hyperventilate. “I can have no rest, no peace, if I don't do this. I will kill him! It is my right! I earned this right!” I shriek. “With my blood!”
Jaxon's warm hands close around my fists, gently easing my hands away from his collar. He holds my shaking hands in his large ones, staring into my face with pained, burning eyes.
“We find him together,” I breathe. “But. I. Kill. Him!”
“It's not going to be easy...” he says at last.
“No,” I agree. “But you'll be with me, right? And you'll keep me safe.”
He closes his eyes, and nods.
“If this is what you want...”
“It is what I want,” I tell him, holding his hands firmly. “What I need. I don't want to be a walking corpse. Alive, but not living, drowning in regrets and buried in hate. Even if...” My voice drops to a whisper. “...even if I don't succeed, if I don't make it, I will have no regrets, because—I have you.”
“I won't let that happen.” Jaxon grabs me and hugs me fiercely. “I know I can't wrap you up in cotton and stash you in some underground hideout, but I will watch your back. I will watch you like a hawk, and protect you with my life, Zoey, and you will make it.”
I nod against his chest.
A sudden thought strikes me, making me jerk up. “The snake...” I say carefully. “...has two heads. The female head is more powerful—and more deadly than the male.”
“Then...you just leave the female to me. You know how good I am with women,” he winks.
“Women?” I growl, pushing myself up to glare daggers at him.
“Woman,” he hastens to correct himself with a loud, dramatic gulp. “Just one woman. One! One scary, sexy little woman.” He flashes an impish grin at me, before tugging me in for a kiss.
I attempt to resist him and fail, on purpose.
I can never resist him. He is my weakness and my strength, my past, my present and my future.
And even though our future looks inordinately dangerous and uncertain, even as we stare death and destruction in the face, and let the most deadly and darkest of plans take shape in our minds and hearts, I can't help but laugh.
Jaxon is the only one who can make me laugh, through my pain and my past. He is the one shining light in my darkness.
My laugh sounds too loud and distorted, as it echoes through the tunnels leading from this dank, abandoned chamber.
I kiss Jaxon and smile.
I will do it.
I will get my revenge.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
We have been traveling for three days and three nights, dodging and sometimes very nearly running into Owen and his soldiers. Each time Jaxon is just a hair's breadth from pulling the trigger and firing a bullet straight into the back of Owen's skull. His restraint shows his strength. His wrath is palpable, and it is always with a tightly clenched jaw and stark eyes that he forcibly turns away and sheathes his gun at his side.
When we stumble upon the mauled body of an Imperial soldier lying in the woods, Jaxon strips the dead soldier of his watch. The teeth and claw marks on the mangled body tell of an attack by a wild beast, probably while the hapless soldier was taking a piss behind a tree.
Listening in to the communication and commands over the soldier's watch, we learn that fighting between the rebels and the soldiers have intensified, and spread through the towns and cities like wildfire. The resistance, the people, men, women and children have taken to the streets and crowds have boldly and bloodily gone up against shields and tanks, refusing to back down and be beaten back into submission and slavery.
The wave of resistance has surged through the States, and the tide is turning. Turning crimson, and turning against the Imperial Army.
I lean against a tree and empty the last drops of water from my canteen into my mouth. I have just polished off my last energy bar, and my backpack is now empty, save for a spare change of uniform. Jaxon is crouching under a tree, staring at the watch as the buzz of static signals an incoming transmission. I go to his side and lean over his shoulder. The screen on the watch flickers to life and I almost stagger back at the image.
Close-set gray eyes blink rapidly as they shift and dart from side to side. Thin, red lips curl back into a halfhearted smile. The Emperor's pallid face zooms into focus, and his pale hand rises in a strange, stiff salute, his palm snapping up to his cheek. His trembling fingers begin to twirl a strand of his matted orange hair. The Emperor looks exactly the same as when I last saw him. And the last time I saw him, I was shackled to his bed post while he wielded a barbed whip and screamed obscenities at me. He is still togged out in all his royal finery, with large rings glinting from all his fingers. Only he looks thinner and even paler than before.
“Attention my good people and soldiers, this is an announcement from your Emperor.” He chuckles humorlessly and clears his throat. “Your Emperor whom you have sworn your loyalty to, and owe your worthless lives to, you ungrateful pieces of trash!” He leans towards the screen, and screeches almost desperately, hysterically. “Stop all this stupid fighting! Go back to your factories and mines, and get back to work! Keep the Unified States prosperous, keep your Emperor and Empress prosperous, that is your pledge, your duty!” He gasps suddenly, his eyes widening. “So, to my loyal soldiers, I say: good job,” he intones. “Crush all these rebels, hang their leaders and slaughter the people. Massacre all those who rise up against their Emperor and Empress, kill all these traitors!” The Emperor swallows and blinks, before nodding to someone off screen. “My good soldiers and Generals, keep the black flag of the Unified States flying high! Now, I...yes, good night, goodbye all!” He croaks out a tearful laugh and with a final salute, the screen goes blank.
I gawk at the blank screen, playing the Emperor's disjointed message in my mind and wondering if I had imagined the look of stark terror in his small, pleading eyes.
Jaxon stands up slowly. Reaching for my hand, he squeezes my hand in his and lets out a quiet sigh. “I know for certain where he is,” Jaxon says grimly. “The background, the walls behind the Emperor. I recognize it. Every Commander in the Imperial Army is brought to this place during his training. The Commanders would be deployed to protect the Emperor and the Empress during an emergency, an insurgency, a war. The location is secret but I was made to memorize the location of this bunker.” He turns to face me. “It is near.”
I blink at him, unable to draw breath. “We...we'll reach him, tonight?”
He nods once.
“G-good.”
“Zoey...”
“I'm not scared. I'm ready!” I kick my chin up.
Jaxon tries to smile, but fails.
Still keeping my hand in his, Jaxon bows his head and closes his eyes for a long while. The furrows deepen on his forehead as his throat moves to forcibly swallow his words, his fears. I can see him struggling, fighting with himself, with me internally. He wants to forbid me from going. He imagines that by stopping me, by forcing me to a safe hiding place where I can just wait and worry myself to death, he can keep me safe. But he knows from experience that when I worry, I jump headlong into worse dangers and even more hellish places. That was what I did when he went missing on a mission. Worrying and waiting and going mad with fear, I ended up at the Red Lantern.
And he never forgave himself, and Irin, for it.
With a tormented breath, his eyes fly open. He stares at me, his eyes raw and feverish. Gripping my shoulders, he says in a ragged whisper, “Tonight. It ends.” He releases me abruptly and walks away without looking back. “With his death.”
I watch him walk away, stopping a distance from me, keeping me well within his sight and earshot. I consider going after him, but realize that he needs to be alone for now.
He would prefer that I not go on this mission. He is a trained Commander and rebel fighter. I am not. I was exposed to hardship and harrowing conditions in the factories that I worked in and in the Palace, but I was never trained to fight. Except for the few weeks in the underground resistance cell, where I was taught to shoot, and stab, and endure tortures. Maybe Jaxon regards my presence as more of a hindrance than help in this mission. Maybe he wants to yell some sense into me.
But I know that I can do this. I have to do this.
If he stops me, I will go after the Empress. Which will be much more dangerous.
Someone has got to pay.
I watch his fists clench and unclench at his back, as he raises his head to stare up at the towering, ancient tree before him. Finally, he turns around and he meets my eyes through the gaps between the trees separating us from each other. He takes one step, then another, slowing walking towards me, yet the distance between us never seems to close.
I see the conflict and indecision flickering momentarily in his brown eyes. As he nears me, he blinks slowly and all that uncertainty and doubt is gone, in that blink of his eye. He stands in front of me, tall, strong, resolved, commanding.
“Come, I will brief you on the layout of the bunker...and what we have to do.”
His eyes are sharp and appraising. He is looking at me not as my lover, but as my Commander. A Commander who looks after his soldier, and makes sure everyone comes out of the mission well and alive.
I nod, resisting the urge to snap to attention and shout Yes sir!
Now is not the time to joke and fool around.
I cannot let him think that I am unfit or unprepared for the mission. I am ready. I will see this through—even if it kills me.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
The forest ends where the mountain begins. Jaxon leads me to a small cave at the side of the mountain and ducks in. I follow him into the cave, keeping to the shadows and trying not to breathe so loudly.
Jaxon has indeed committed to memory the exact location of the Emperor's bunker, leading me silently and swiftly away from booby traps and mines hidden along the way. I stifle a scream when an animal snare snaps its rusty serrated jaws shut just inches from my ankle. Jaxon whips round in a heartbeat to catch me in his arms.
“I'm fine,” I hiss.
He holds me for many more thundering heartbeats before letting me go. There is no going back now. We have journeyed too long and too far, and we are now so near. Too near. Pressing a finger to his lips, he motions me forward and points to the floor.
The trapdoor hidden at the very corner in the floor of the cave blends in so seamlessly with the surrounding rocks it is almost invisible. Crouching down, Jaxon traces the outline
of the door with his fingertips, his brows creased in concentration. Giving me a quick nod, he brushes the sand and dirt away to uncover a rusty iron handle. He grips it firmly in his hands and strains to open the trapdoor. The door grinds open, and Jaxon has to brace himself to stop the heavy door from slamming onto the cave floor.
At his signal, we flatten ourselves against the walls of the cave, our guns drawn, preparing for enemy fire. Jaxon inches forward and with a soundless movement, stands over the opening, his gun at the ready.
He frowns at the lack of sound or movement from below. Cocking his head to the side, he listens to the deathly silence as he lowers his body to a crouch. Peering down for a quick check, he nods at me and lowers himself through the trapdoor. I follow in his wake, and my boot finds the first rung of a metal ladder. Treading lightly, I climb down and drop into a sparsely furnished chamber. A naked bulb is buzzing overhead, throwing its flickering dim light over the upturned chairs and stained cups and bowls on a bare wooden table.
The bunker had been occupied, but it seems that the occupants have left in a hurry. I swallow with difficult, my throat feeling dry and tight. Are we too late? Have they escaped?
I prick my ears at the small, muffled sound coming from behind a small door to our side. Jaxon is already pointing his gun at the door, eyes narrowed. Taking slow, silent steps, he approaches the narrow door and eases it open.
I hear him inhale sharply before moving further in. Hesitating for an instant, I glance over my shoulder at the stale, abandoned chamber behind me. The spilled water from an overturned cup is dripping down the side of the table. The water looks clean and fresh. I have an odd feeling that if I were to feel the seat of the chairs, I would find them still warm. The chamber has been abandoned, but only just.
Release In The Dark (DARK erotic romance series) Page 14
