“No, that’s—”
I pressed my finger to her lips. “How is this any different to simply going away? If it makes you feel any better, just imagine I’ve gone somewhere exotic. You might need to find yourself a new babysitter though.” My joke fell flat when I couldn’t fight the hurt that tightened my vocal cords.
Whatever I’d said invoked her anger. She pushed me away from her. “You can’t just accept this. I don’t want you to spend the next ten years locked away in the void. I can’t even bear to think of you in that place.”
I offered her a smile to tell her I was okay with it. I was the one who would suffer. For her, it wouldn’t matter where I was—just that I was no longer around reminding her of her husband. “Then don’t think of me,” I said, even though it hurt more than anything else I’d told her that afternoon. “Move on. Look after those fantastic kids.”
She stepped into the space I’d put between us, grabbing hold of my shirt as she continued to sob. “Clay, I can’t do it without you.”
The words, and the sorrow behind them, weren’t meant for me. She was finally mourning the loss of her husband, and that could only be a good thing. I wanted to reassure her that once she’d started mourning him, things would start to get better. “You can. You know you’ve got the strength in you. Even I can see it, and I’ve only known you for two weeks.”
Aiden tapped my shoulder. “We better leave.”
When I went to turn around to go with him, Evie wouldn’t relinquish her hold. “Can’t we have just a few more hours so he can say goodbye to the twins?”
Before Aiden could deny her request—and it was clear by the set of his lips that was what he would do—a soul-shredding scream tore from the twins’ nursery.
Ignoring everyone in the room, I threw myself in that direction. I hadn’t even cleared the living room when a second cry joined the first. It wasn’t normal. They weren’t cries for attention—they were screams of terror.
CHAPTER THIRTY
WHEN I REACHED the nursery, a split second behind Evie, I stopped cold.
Dad stood in the middle of the room, a knife in his hands as he advanced on the crib.
For a moment, I wondered what the hell he was doing there, but then it struck me. Louise. Ethan. Me. Just like I’d promised, we were all together. Ready for him to wipe Louise’s mind and take out Evie and the twins. The knife in his hands screamed for my attention, and in the blade was a reflection of fire.
I spun away from him at the sight. The first panicked thought I had when I saw the flames licking the cot was that something had happened to Ava. That we were too late and Dad had already . . .
Evie had made it clear to me what being a phoenix meant, and even Dad’s books spoke of fire being the result of their death. Without thinking it through, I shoved my hands into the densest part of the flames and plucked my daughter from within.
While I was grabbing her, Evie reached into the other side of the cot and pulled David out before handing him to someone just outside the room.
I couldn’t let Ava go so easily yet. The movement of her shoulders and the screams that flowed from her uninterrupted were enough to make my heart dance. It was all proof that hope wasn’t lost. Ava was still alive. If she was injured, the healers could heal her—hadn’t Evie said herself that Mackenzie was better than any doctor.
With the temperature that Ava was running, I didn’t want to pass her on to anyone else in case they dropped her, or put her down in case she set another fire. Instead, I cradled her in my arms and tried to soothe her and whisper that everything would be all right. That her mother and I would keep her safe. I meant every word, even if it was the last thing I could do for her for ten years.
When Evie turned on Dad, demanding to know why he was there, he grinned at her. His confidence was complete. From his smarmy smile to the almost victorious stance he adopted, it was clear he thought he’d won and taunted Evie with that fact.
He was in for a rude shock.
“Come over here, boy,” he called to me, “and I’ll help you destroy that abomination in your arms.”
My teeth were clenched so tight I thought my jaw might pop. I drew Ava into my hold and stepped in front of Evie so he couldn’t hurt her either. “They are not abominations,” I seethed. “They are my kids.”
“Clay, just get her out of here,” Evie admonished me, as if I was going to let Ava get hurt.
I twisted around to tell her that I might not have been Saint Clay anymore, but that I could take care of our children. The words never got a chance to be freed though because the second my focus was on Evie, her eyes widened and she screamed.
Spinning my gaze, I found Dad lunging with the knife aimed at my chest height—straight for Ava. Without stopping, I spun and closed my body around her so she was cradled tightly between my arms and my chest—far out of reach of his blade. It made me see Evie had been right to warn me to leave. We weren’t dealing with someone who was sane or rational. He didn’t think anything of trying to murder an innocent baby.
I moved to give Ava to someone else so I could help Evie, but the second I was free of the doorframe, the door slammed shut and Evie locked it.
“Take her,” I growled at Ethan. “Watch out though, she’s burning up.”
“Okay.” He had his arm out for Ava and took her readily.
I spun and tried the door handle again. When it was still locked, as I’d known it would be, I slammed my hand against the door. I couldn’t hear anything from the other side. “Evie!”
I might have been willing to walk away from her to go into the punishment of the void if it was the best thing for her, but there was no way I was going to let Dad hurt her. I needed her alive and well. For my sake as much as for our kids.
Frustrated, I tried the handle again, before laying my ear against the surface. The murmur of voices that echoed from within was too quiet for me to make out words. I slapped my hand against the door again and called Evie’s name, hoping she’d come and unlock the damned door so I could help.
“You don’t hurt your family, regardless of what they are!” I could only make out one sentence of Evie’s screeched words.
Smoke billowed out from under the door, a warning the fire was no doubt spreading to cover the rest of the room. Was it already blocking the entrance?
There was nothing I needed more than to get through the door. I rattled the handle again and shoulder charged the wood when that didn’t work. Ava’s screams grew louder with every noise I made trying to get through the door.
“Don’t you dare fucking hurt her, Dad!” I shouted through the wood. If he did, I wouldn’t just kill him, I would tear him apart bit by bit with my bare hands.
Just as I was about to charge the room again, Ethan’s hand came down over my shoulder. “Go to your daughter.”
“I have to get to Evie. He’s going to hurt her.”
“Lynnie is capable of looking after herself,” Aiden joined in the argument. “Ava is not. She needs a calming force.”
“I can’t. I need . . .” Ava’s cries were frantic, her little chest heaving with every sob.
“Go to her,” Ethan said again, gentler than before. “We’ll make sure Evie is safe.”
“Spend what time you can with them before it’s too late,” Aiden said. His voice was kinder than before. I wondered if he understood I wasn’t going to harm my children even though my memories hadn’t returned.
When I relented, I found my way to Louise who had Ava cradled in her arms and David on the sofa beside her leg.
Louise tipped her head up to look at me. “She’s so hot.”
I nodded as I drew Ava against my chest. “It’s all right, little one. Everything is all right.” I wished more than anything that I knew some way to comfort her and reassure her. Without knowing where the words were coming from, I started to murmur a song that resonated deep in my stomach. Verity’s gaze snapped to me as I sang the foreign song.
Thankfully the words worked
and Ava’s cries lessened until she returned to sleep. David wasn’t though, he was still crying and the noise was causing Ava to stir once more. Juggling Ava in my arms until I was holding her one-handed, I moved closer to my sister. “Louise? Could you please pass me David too?”
She frowned at the request, but then slipped David into the same position on my other arm. Just as she did, the door burst open. Louise gave me an apologetic grimace and then ran off to help everyone else. As badly as I wanted to help, I also acknowledged what Ethan and Aiden had said. My children needed me, and that had to be my first priority.
That thought applied to far more than just our current situation. They would need me over the years as Ava grew into a child who would have to learn how to control her temper at too early an age. For when Evie needed a break from watching our special children. Or when the twins’ schedules got so far out of sync that it was impossible for one person to do it all alone.
It was selfish of me to even consider willingly committing myself to the void. Only now, the sentence had been handed down and I wasn’t sure there was any way to avoid it.
When the noise coming from the room had lessened a little, I carried the twins a little closer—close enough that I could see what was happening without putting their lives in danger again.
Aiden held Dad tightly, ensuring he wasn’t a threat to anyone.
Verity winced as she neared the pair. “There’s at least a hundred violations—two hundred maybe. Not just attacks, but deaths. I can’t even count them all, it just hurts.”
Aiden gave a solemn nod. “The Tribunal has spoken. Troy, you will be held at the fae court for the duration of your sentence.”
As if the words were enough to pull Dad from whatever shocked state he was in, he tugged against Aiden’s hold. “Get your filthy hands off me!” Then he turned his glare on a part of the room I couldn’t see from my angle. Regardless, I knew precisely who he was looking at when he uttered his next words. “This is all your fault, freak!”
I’d stepped closer to the room to defend her without thought. It wasn’t like I’d be able to do anything at all with a baby in each arm, and yet that was still my natural reaction.
Not that it mattered as it turned out. Evie stepped forward from where she was standing and took Dad out with a mean right hook.
“Badass!” Ethan’s voice broke the tension, and I had to chuckle.
God, she was impressive. More impressive than I ever imagined she could be.
Evie didn’t stop with her punch, she rounded on Aiden. “One year for every violation?”
“For every injury,” he confirmed. The same sentence handed to me. “Ten for every death.”
Like I had been after my eyes were opened, I found myself glad none of the fae I’d gone after to get to Evie had died. Whether by luck or some remaining beacon of conscience left inside of me, they were all alive and well.
“Verity,” Aiden said, nodding toward Dad.
The stocky fae crossed the room and touched Dad’s temple. In an instant, it was as if the life had been sucked from him. I blinked and had to stop my body from going slack as I understood what had happened. They’d planted him into the void. It wasn’t a place, but a state of being. But then why didn’t they . . .
“Where’s Clay?” My thoughts fell away when Evie asked for me.
“Here.” Her eyes travelled from me to our babies and back again. The relief in her expression washed away the disappointment and the sorrow—if only momentarily. I flicked my gaze to her hand to let her know I could see the way she was trying not to nurse it. No one else in the room seemed to notice that the punch had injured Evie as well, but if she didn’t want to draw attention to it, I wasn’t about to out her. She deserved my silence at least.
She gave me a sideways smile that confirmed she knew I’d noticed her hand.
The explanation for why I hadn’t gone running straight in was on my lips in an instant. “I was going crazy trying to get in, and it was panicking Ava. Ethan and Aiden convinced me to let them try to get in there instead. They said these two needed the time with me before . . .”
Unable to voice what had to come next, my gaze travelled to Ava and then to David.
Despite not saying the words, Evie understood exactly what I meant. “Aiden, there’s got to be something you can do. You’ve got the real threat now. Clay won’t hurt anyone. I promise. I can guarantee it. Please?”
“I am very sorry, Lynnie. Unfortunately, my hands are tied by the Tribunal’s decree. If Clay returns to the court, he will have to face his time in the void.”
“Ten years?” Evie’s voice was so unhappy when she said the words that I wanted to do anything I could to cheer her up. I moved closer and offered her Ava. It wouldn’t fix a damned thing, but Ava’s presence would at least provide some comfort.
Now that I had one arm free, I shifted David so his weight was on my chest rather than on my arm. Neither of them was heavy, but the weight of them lying in the one spot was enough to strain my muscles. If—
Something Aiden had stressed in his statement struck me. He couldn’t mean . . . could he?
“Wait,” I said, not daring to believe I’d heard it right. “You said, ‘if.’”
It looked like Aiden was fighting a smile when he stared at me. “You caught that, did you?”
I grinned when I realized what he was giving me.
“What if Clay doesn’t return?” Evie asked. Her voice held a quiver that had nothing to do with the tears she’d been fighting earlier.
Aiden shifted the hold he had on Dad so he wasn’t holding him entirely in his arms. Dad just stood beside him, complacent as he waited for instruction. “Neither I nor Fiona have any significant ability to enforce fae law outside of the walls of the court.”
Verity made her opinion clear that she didn’t think Aiden should be recommending I escape punishment.
Turning almost cocky, Aiden chuckled. “I am recommending no such thing, and I am sure that each of the witnesses here will declare the same. I am merely offering a friendly suggestion to Lynnie that her husband should perhaps avoid the place where he will be forced to endure his punishment.”
“Could Mom still visit him here?” Ethan asked.
I wasn’t sure I particularly cared about the answer to the question. Mom hadn’t made a single effort to see me while I was at the court or since I’d returned home.
The conversation flowed around me as the word resonated through me—home. This was my home. Evie was the one I loved. I wanted to stay. All I had to do was convince her to let me. Somehow.
Before long, everyone was organized to leave Evie and me alone in our home.
As he walked past, Aiden shot me a glare. “Do not make me regret this action.”
“I won’t.” I couldn’t tear my eyes off Evie as I spoke. She was the reason I was certain I wouldn’t. Even if she could never love me like she loved Saint Clay, I wanted to be the man she deserved. Then maybe one day, I could actually take his place in her life.
As everyone else said their goodbyes, I made myself scarce and grabbed the double stroller. While Evie was talking with Aiden, I set David down in the stroller and then grabbed Ava. When they were settled, I disappeared again to retrieve an ice pack from the freezer and a hand towel from the bathroom.
When I handed the ice to Evie, she bit her lip and dropped her gaze before accepting it and pressing it against her knuckles. The little sigh that left her lips told me I’d been more than correct in my assessment of her pain.
We agreed that she’d take the twins to our bedroom while I checked out the damage to the nursery. As soon as she was out of sight, I took a moment to myself. I leaned against the wall, tipped my head back and breathed. It had been one hell of a day, and a roller coaster I never wanted to ride again.
I wanted to shoulder the blame for Dad’s arrival, but in reality, he’d made the decision to attack. He’d made the assumption that I was lining up the events we’d discussed in passing.
If it’d gone down according to my plan, we would’ve had the children far away—safe with Mackenzie or someone else from the court.
Still, it had worked out for the best. The weight of the lie was lifted from my chest, Evie and the twins were safe, and the threat Dad posed was gone. I wasn’t sure where Abe was, or whether he’d become a threat later on, but it wasn’t something I could worry about just then.
With another sigh, I pushed myself up and set about working out what the damage was to the nursery.
Then I would try to figure out how to minimize the damage on my heart.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
IT WAS EASY to convince myself that the day had changed everything.
By the time we went to bed, with a portacrib set up in our bedroom, I was sure the signals I was getting from Evie indicated that she might feel the same way about me. All through the night, she didn’t freak out with every little touch like she had days earlier. I took advantage and let myself hold her like I’d wanted to. By the time I woke in the morning, I itched for her in ways I wanted to scratch but wasn’t sure how. My fingertips danced over her stomach, and her muscles flinched in response.
She climbed from the bed, tempting the beast inside of me with her messy hair and lopsided smile. I wanted to reach for her and tug her back beside me so she could lie with me until the twins woke.
When she asked me what had me in such a good mood, I answered the best way I knew how. I had freedom—something I hadn’t had in the weeks my memory stretched back. I didn’t want to tell her that waking up with her in my arms was a big part of it. My fascination with her was so severe, I was likely to frighten her off if I didn’t take baby steps to win her over.
There were a couple of things that happened that started to make me think it wasn’t entirely impossible. The main one was that when I told her there was a look in her eyes when she spoke about him, she corrected me as if she believed we were still one and the same person. If she genuinely believed that, there was still hope.
Living with Embers: (Son of Rain #4) Page 24
