by A. J. Pine
He shook his head, the ghost of a smile spreading across his lips. “Do you ever just slow down and shut the hell up?” he asked.
She crossed her arms and gave him an indignant scoff. Then she opened her mouth to say something else but must have thought better of it just as quickly because she slammed her lips shut.
“Oh, come on, sweetheart. I didn’t mean it like that. You’re always just go-go-goin’, though. Don’t you sometimes want to—I don’t know—just have fun?”
Because he could use a distraction right now.
She clamped her jaw shut and narrowed her eyes at him. “Are you saying I’m not any fun? Because if I remember correctly, you had a good time at my place and—”
He threw back his head and laughed, and damn if the release wasn’t exactly what he needed.
“Yes,” he said. “I sure did enjoy myself, but believe it or not, I’m talking about something other than sex.”
She raised a brow.
“Yes, ma’am, I do find other ways to enjoy myself outside a woman’s bed. I’d never see the outdoors, otherwise.”
He scratched the back of his neck. She did need a ride home, and he’d most likely be the one to give it to her.
“You ever ride a horse?”
She snorted. “Yeah, when I was, like, seven years old. But I’m guessing that doesn’t count in your book.”
He shook his head. “I bet Owen could school your ass, and he’s only ten.”
Her cheeks flamed, and he didn’t hide his amusement at getting under her skin so easily.
“Let me guess,” he said. “You don’t like people being better than you at something. I knew you liked to argue, but are you holding out on me, sweetheart? Because no one likes some good competition more than me.”
Lily huffed out a breath. “I am totally fine being bested. Just not by someone a third my age. How long has Owen been riding?”
“Six months.”
She shrugged. “Well, being older, wiser, and trained in the fine art of observation, I should be able to pick it up pretty quickly, right?”
He laughed, tension releasing from his shoulders.
“Guess we won’t know till we put you to the test, huh? How about a proposition?” he asked, and she pursed her lips, regarding him with those knowing green eyes.
“I’m listening,” she said with mild hesitation.
“I’ll take you riding”—he paused, making sure they were still alone—“as long as you keep our little outing between us.”
She threw her hands in the air. “I don’t want to be some dirty little secret, Luke Everett. I’m not asking for promises or commitment or anything of the sort, but I sure as hell won’t be your secret shame.”
His secret shame? He couldn’t help but laugh, which made Lily clench her jaw and narrow her eyes. Hell, he was just trying to think of a way to spend the day with her without admitting he wanted to spend the day with her. He wasn’t ready for admitting and hoping and—shit. He just wanted the two of them to be. Like last night.
He strode toward her, cupped her face in his palms, and dipped his head toward hers so they were close enough to kiss. But all he did was speak.
“You are not my dirty little secret,” he said, his voice low and insistent. “Far from it, Lil. But I—as you remember—am supposed to be benched for two more weeks. So I’m going to take you riding at my buddy’s ranch. And you’re going to keep quiet about it so Jack doesn’t go all fatherly on me and put me on house arrest again. Can you handle that?”
He watched her throat bob as she swallowed. He remembered the taste of her skin on his lips and stepped back, hoping she couldn’t smell the desire he was still powerless to quell.
“But if you get hurt again, on my watch—” she started, and he knew she was just looking for excuses now. She wanted to say yes. He could feel it. And he wanted to share something important with her, even if it was under the guise of training.
“You’ll be there to protect me,” he teased.
She rolled her eyes.
“I’m riding today with or with you. So the only question you have to answer is whether or not you’re joining me—and whether you think you’re good enough to stay in the saddle.”
She groaned, and he knew he’d closed the deal.
“No tricks or anything like that,” she said. “Not on my watch. You can ride, but you need to be careful.”
He tucked her damp hair behind her ear, trying to ignore the way her breathing hitched as he did.
“Don’t you know?” he asked. “Careful’s my middle name.”
It was the biggest lie he’d ever spoken. The one he never gave voice to, though? The reason why today was more dangerous than she could ever fathom? Well, he knew better than to say that one out loud. Because that would make it all too real, and Luke Everett didn’t do real.
She let out a shaky breath. “Why do I get the feeling you’re more trouble than I realize?”
The corner of his mouth quirked up. “Lily Green—you have no idea.”
She eyed him warily when they got out of the truck thirty minutes later. “Callahan Brothers Contracting?” she said. “You’re going to teach me how to ride a horse with the guys who are building your wine tasting room?”
Luke shook his head and grinned. “They board a few horses on the side, too. It was their father’s business before he got sick last year, and, well, they just haven’t had the heart to sell it.”
“Oh,” Lily said. “Is he—still around? Their dad, I mean.”
He grabbed his training hat out of the back of the cab, then placed his hand on the small of her back, urging her away from the car and toward the stables, but he couldn’t deny the way she fit against him, even in something as simple as this.
“He was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s. He still lives in the house.”
She let him lead her, and he felt her muscles move against his palm as they walked.
“He’s got round-the-clock care, but that’s why Sam and Ben have their office space here. To keep an eye on him.”
The corners of her mouth turned up, but he could tell it was a sad smile.
“What is it?” he asked as they came to a stop at the stable doors.
She wrapped her arms around her torso and shrugged.
“It’s just nice. I mean—not their dad being sick. But seeing family take care of each other. Having family to take care of each other. I see you and your brothers do it. Your friends apparently do it. It’s just…different from what I grew up with. That’s all.”
He was ready to ask her how—realizing he didn’t know this woman other than what he’d gleaned these past few years. And after that first night in the bar, most of what he’d learned had been with her as Tucker’s girlfriend. Then fiancée. And then wife.
This was new ground.
But either Lily wasn’t too keen on sharing her childhood memories, or she was super eager to ride. Whatever the reason, she didn’t give him a chance to ask questions. She was already pushing through the doors.
“Explain to me,” she started as she walked cautiously between the stalls. “How it is that you get to come here and ride other people’s horses, especially when your buddies aren’t even home?”
There were only three horses boarding right now, and all three took notice of the beautiful woman disrupting their morning. Not surprisingly, none of them seemed to mind.
He stopped at the second stall to pet Ace’s black nose. The horse greeted him with an appraising whinny, and he grinned.
“Part of boarding ’em is exercising ’em. And when they get an Appaloosa like Ace, they always add me to the contract to work the horse out. Gives me a place to train away from home, and it gives the horse what he needs, too.”
Luke opened the stall and stepped right inside, rubbing a hand along Ace’s black-and-white-spotted coat. “Atta boy,” he said softly. “You want to meet my friend Lily?”
He glanced over his shoulder to find her standing
outside the stall, peering in.
“You’re really good with him,” she said. “And that expert opinion comes from the fact that he hasn’t kicked or bitten your face off yet.”
He chuckled. “If that’s the extent of your horse knowledge, then what the hell made you want to ride one?”
She gave him a nervous smile. “Because I need to step outside my safety zone,” she said, a slight tremor in her voice.
He kept one hand on Ace’s flank and rested the other on the stall door.
“You’re scared,” he said matter-of-factly.
She nodded slowly.
“We can start slow,” he said. “I can work him out, do a little training, and you can watch and see how safe it is. Plus, I heard I’m quite entertaining.” He waggled his brows.
“You’re impossible,” she said.
“So you’ve told me on several occasions. Doesn’t change the fact that if you’d like to start by sitting back and enjoying the show, I can arrange that easily.”
She groaned. “I want to ride, you egomaniac. I can be scared and still want to do it.”
Now that was something he could get behind. It was how he lived his life—with the rush of fear and doing whatever came next anyway.
Except he called the shots—chose the origin of the fear. Trick riding, barrel racing, getting thrown from the bull time and time again.
Each time his heart raced with the type of adrenaline that only came with the fight-or-flight response. And when it came to the rodeo arena, he always fought.
But right now his heart rate was speeding up, a response so similar and yet entirely different. Because when it came to Lily, he should run. But despite his body’s physiological response, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
“Let’s go, then,” he said.
He tried not to grin as she watched him affix the pad and saddle, but it was hard to keep his expression impassive when he could feel her appraising him.
“I’m gonna take him for a couple of laps around the arena to get him warmed up, and then it’s all you, okay?”
She bit her lip and nodded.
He lifted his hat, wiped the sweat from his brow with his forearm, and then dropped it back on his head before hooking his boot into the stirrup and hopping into the saddle.
He winced, only slightly, but it wasn’t slight enough for Lily to miss.
“Luke Everett,” she said, “if you hurt yourself…”
But he didn’t wait for her to say more, just tipped his cowboy hat and tapped his stirrups against Ace’s flanks.
He could spout his bullshit about permanency all he wanted, but it didn’t matter. He might have been safe up on a horse, but he was never truly safe from loss. Maybe he tricked Lily into staying with him today, or maybe she was right there with him—not wanting to let him go but not ready to admit the truth. Right now all that mattered was that she was his—at least for the day.
“Ya!” he called out, and Ace took off for the far end of the arena.
He knew his brother would have his ass if Jack found out what he was doing. But somehow, having Lily here made it all seem okay. And as much as he knew every part of what he felt about this moment was wrong on various levels, he couldn’t suppress his ridiculous grin.
Chapter Thirteen
Lily swallowed hard and dared to let her eyes dip toward the ground—the ground that seemed so, so far away.
Was Ace this tall when Luke was riding him? She knew horses matured faster than humans did, but she wasn’t so sure they could grow several feet in a matter of minutes. Then again, food was her forte, not growth patterns of the equine species.
Lily wasn’t sure why she felt the need to prove herself to Luke. Maybe it was that part of her that wanted to believe they could connect on more than a physical level—that this chemistry between them went beyond skin deep.
No. It was bigger than that. If she could do this—look one tiny fear in the eye and say Not today—she might gain the confidence to face something even bigger.
“You all right there, sweetheart?” Luke asked from miles below her where he stood.
She nodded a little too enthusiastically and forced her gaze to where she swore she could see the horizon over the ocean if she just squinted hard enough.
“Lily?”
Luke’s hat cast a shadow over his usually certain blue eyes, and she really wanted to see that certainty right now.
“Yeah?” she answered.
“You afraid of heights?” he asked.
Okay, so maybe this was more than a tiny fear.
She nodded again, this time without the same enthusiasm, and before she knew what was happening, Luke hooked his foot in the stirrup and hopped up onto Ace’s back behind her.
His torso pressed against her back, and his legs outlined the shape of her own. Every inch of her was touching every inch of him, and her already shallow breathing now lacked any depth at all.
“Careful there, my little equestrian,” he hummed into her ear as his hands grabbed her hips to right her as she swayed.
She cleared her throat. “Sorry. I got a little light-headed, I guess.”
He grabbed the reins from in front of her, and she marveled at how the horse stayed so still, as if he and Luke spoke some silent language she couldn’t understand. Because she had nothing of her own to grip for purchase, she unapologetically wrapped her hands around his wrists that rested in her lap.
“You should have told me about the heights thing,” he said.
She let out a nervous laugh. “It’s kind of a combination. I mean, the fear of heights is real, but it might be compounded by the fact that I’m perched this high on a wild animal that basically has my life in its hands.”
He sighed. “You wanna get down? There’s no rule that says you have to ride at all today. I wouldn’t have goaded you into it if I’d known you were scared.”
She shook her head and steeled her resolve.
“There is a rule, though,” she insisted.
His breath was warm on her neck. “Oh yeah? What’s that?”
She blew out a long breath. “The one that tells me that being careful is what got me where I am in my life right now. I thought I was making safe choices, following a prescribed plan for my relationship and my career. Maybe you were right. Maybe I need to let go…in more ways than…you know.”
She wasn’t sure what to call what they did last night—and again this morning. Was it lovemaking? Just plain old sex? What would he call it when he told Tucker? Or would he fall back on his whole philosophy of impermanence and call it a mistake not worth mentioning once he had time to think about it?
And jeez, could she get over herself and cool it with the overanalyzing?
“You want to be a little reckless?” he whispered, and a shiver traveled from her neck all the way down to her core, where it melted into liquid heat.
She nodded.
“Hold on, then, sweetheart. Because here we go.”
She barely had time to clamp her death grip onto his wrists before his strong forearms jerked Ace out of his stillness while his heels knocked against the horse’s sides.
And then they were off.
Lily yelped as Ace lurched from a complete standstill to an all-out gallop. Her nails were surely breaking Luke’s skin, but she couldn’t ease her grip. It didn’t seem to faze him as they took the turn without so much as slowing down, and Luke whooped and hollered in what could only be described as pure, unfettered glee.
“You feel that?” he called as the wind whipped her hair against her cheeks. “That’s how you let go…in more ways than one!”
She laughed at him echoing her phrase but realized he said nothing about the act being reckless.
Because riding like this…with him? It was exhilarating and terrifying. But she knew as long as Luke Everett was in the saddle behind her, riding was the furthest thing from reckless she could get.
It was the racing of her heart that started the second he hopped onto th
e horse. It was the way she leaned into him as he leaned forward into her, like they were the sole forces holding the other one up.
It was letting him into her bed when she knew he wasn’t suited for what she wanted—and needed. She could pretend all she wanted from Luke was a rebound, that his being against permanent didn’t matter. But she was lying to herself. And to him.
Fear had kept her trapped in these invisible parameters that were supposed to keep her safe from the heartache her mother went through—the heartache she herself endured when her father left them both. It was why she let herself fall for Tucker, the man she thought was the safe choice. It was also why she ran when he strayed—leaving before he could. But her connection with Luke was different, the thought of what she could lose exponentially more terrifying.
Oil and water, she thought. They didn’t stand a freaking chance, and yet she hoped for a night like last night again.
Lily hoped for more.
And that—beyond her imminent, physical danger—was where she was careless. Hasty. And oh…so…reckless.
After several laps around the arena, too many to count in her current state of perplexed fear, Ace slowed to a trot and then to a walk before he stopped completely.
Luke hopped down, then reached a hand for her and helped her slide to solid ground.
“What’d you think?” he asked.
She laughed, and her knees wobbled. “I think Owen would ride circles around me,” she admitted.
He laughed, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “And there you have it, folks. Lily Green humbled by a ten-year-old.”
She backhanded him on the shoulder, and he held up his hands in mock surrender.
“All right. All right. Remember I’m still an injured man, here. You don’t want to further damage the goods.”
