by Wendy Wax
“It better be good, Nik,” he said. “And it better be the truth. Because I’ll know. And I am not even remotely in the mood to be lied to again.”
Thirty-four
“Geema!” Dustin buried his face in Maddie’s neck as she lifted him into her arms and hugged him tightly. Max’s tail did its happiest dance, wagging triple time as he followed his nose to favorite bushes and tree trunks.
Dustin didn’t clamor to be put down or relax his hold around her neck as Kyra began to unload the Jeep. She thought her heart might break when he looked up at her with those intent brown eyes and said, “I missed you, Geema. I’m so really glad to be home.”
“Me too,” she said, trying not to feel disloyal to Will. Who had insisted on sending her home in the record label’s plane and shushed her when she’d attempted to apologize for leaving him. “Of course you have to go,” he’d said. “I think I’m capable of flying solo these last few stops, although I’m a little afraid our road crew is going to go into Maddie withdrawal. Keep me posted, okay?”
Kyra hauled their things in with a weariness that matched her son’s. But both perked up slightly when they stepped into the cottage, which was filled with sunshine and the salt breeze that floated in through the open windows. The fresh flowers on the dinette gave off a softer scent than the egg soufflé that had just come out of the oven. A plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies sat beside it on the counter. She poured Dustin a cup of apple juice and offered Kyra a can of sparkling water.
“When did you do all this?” Kyra motioned to the flowers, the drinks now in their hands, and the food that waited. “I know you only got back late last night. It’s not even noon.”
Maddie smiled. “What can I say? I’m an early riser.” And all she’d been able to think about was turning the cottage back into a “home” for the ones she loved to come back to. “It was nice to have a place to putter.” She smiled again. “I’ve always been a nester, but as it turns out the housekeeping staff of most hotels don’t really appreciate the guests rearranging the furniture and artwork.”
“I saw Joe on his way out with the girls when I went for the last load of stuff,” Kyra said. “He had kind of an odd look on his face.”
“Really?” Maddie put down a bowl of water for Max, retrieved a Tupperware container of cut fruit from the refrigerator, then sliced the soufflé and filled three plates. “I haven’t seen anyone yet. But I spoke with your dad and he’d like to take Dustin out for pizza tomorrow night. He thought Troy might like to go, too. You know, kind of a guys’ outing.” It was a small trial balloon that Kyra didn’t comment on. Dustin had no such qualms. “Oh, boy!” He brightened further.
“I thought we might get everybody together for a sunset toast then,” she said as they settled at the table. “Most of my sunsets for the last three weeks have been spent in one performance hall or another, or on the way to one.” She had tried not to miss the beach, or the sunset, or her family and friends too much. But she’d begun dreaming about all three several cities ago and wasn’t sure how much longer she could wait to dig her toes into the sand. “I was hoping we might go out on the beach after brunch, if everyone’s up for it.”
“Thas exactly what I was hoping, too, Geema,” Dustin said with a somewhat bigger smile than the one with which he’d arrived. As they sat together and ate, she felt the most exquisite blend of love and relief. She wondered as she dished up more soufflé and refilled drinks and listened to Dustin’s exclamations whether anything could make her as happy as taking care of the people she loved.
* * *
• • •
A couple of cottages over and a world of domesticity away, Nikki woke. She pulled her face out of the pillow in which it had been buried, and noticed that it had no pillowcase and that the bed was minus sheets. Bright sunlight slanted in through the blinds, but she couldn’t tell if it was late morning or early afternoon. Her thoughts floated, sifting through snatches of memory or possibly bits of dreams. Thinking ceased when she became aware of the quiet, which was deafening enough to make her sit up straight in bed. Had she only imagined Joe’s early return? No. She could still see the anger on his face and hear the ring of it in his voice. But he wasn’t here now. And neither were the girls.
In the master bathroom, where she washed her face and brushed her teeth, it was impossible to ignore just how badly it needed to be cleaned. In the hall her bare feet got tangled in the dirty clothes that still littered the floor. The living area was also exactly as she left it when she’d gone into the bedroom for what she intended as forty winks but had apparently stretched to Rip van Winkle proportions. The only thing that had been “picked up” were Sofia and Gemma, whom she’d left sleeping on the rug like abandoned puppies.
In the midst of the kitchen clutter she found a note propped against the coffeemaker. The lack of even the dregs of coffee was a testament to Joe’s anger. So was the message he’d left.
Took the girls out for breakfast then the playground. Then going to go beg Luvie to come back. Don’t pick up anything. She deserves to see how things went without her.
Shit.
Since he hadn’t said anything about leaving herself as he’d found her, Nikki took a long hot shower and washed her hair, which might have sighed with gratitude. Naked, she stood in front of the full-length mirror, shocked at how gaunt she looked after the weeks of running after the twins and being too tired to eat more than the girls’ leftovers. Her breasts still sagged and her stomach wasn’t exactly flat, but her cheekbones were no longer lost in a too-fleshy face, and the hollow at her throat had reappeared. All the lifting and toting and carrying had toned her upper arms. It seemed that parenting, like hands-on renovation, could replace a trip to the gym.
She pulled her hair into a messy knot at the base of her neck, added eyeliner, mascara, and lipstick—things she once would have never left home without and had somehow forgotten existed—because she thought it might be important to help Joe remember at least one of the reasons he’d originally been attracted to her.
With no clean clothes to wear, she pawed through the closet until she came to a pair of jeans she’d shoved in the back for the day when she might be able to squeeze into them again. They fit. She was sliding her arms into an old Do Over T-shirt when she heard the front door open. The girls’ happy chatter reached her ears followed closely by Luvie’s “May the saints preserve us!” Despite the obvious shock, the nanny’s voice could only be described as gleeful.
Joe walked into the bedroom. If he noticed her improved appearance, he gave no indication. “We’ll let her enjoy the girls and the tragic mess a little longer. Then we’re going to go in so you can apologize and tell her how happy you are to have her back.”
“And then will you forgive me?”
“I’m working on it,” he said stiffly. “I just don’t understand why you couldn’t tell me how you felt. Surely there had to be some way to share the burden rather than lying and jeopardizing your health.”
“But I tried to tell you how I felt. Then I tried to tell Luvie and get her to cut back her hours. Neither of you would listen.” Tears stung her eyes at the unfairness of his accusation.
“And you thought the solution was to take everything on yourself? That’s exactly what I was afraid of.”
“Well, it might not have been the best possible course of action, but I wanted more time with my children. And I needed to prove that I’m not a total failure in the mother department.”
“Awww, Nik.” He sat on the unmade bed and shook his head. “You’re a great mother. And no one except you thinks you’re supposed to be Supermom.”
There was a burst of merriment, which was followed by Luvie’s “My land, look at all these dirty clothes! And the dishes!” She’d never heard the nanny sound happier.
Nikki dropped down next to Joe. “I’m willing to concede that I need help. And I can handle an apology. But I r
efuse to go back to how things were.”
“She needs us as much as we need her, Nik. More.” The anger had begun to dissipate. She saw concern in his eyes. “When I went to the address that’s on her driver’s license and résumé, she didn’t actually live there.”
“What?”
“Yeah. You can imagine my surprise given the whole background check and vetting. A few heads are going to roll at the office. And I think I have a whole lot of new gray hairs.”
“Are you saying it was a fake address? Is she hiding some sort of criminal past? I mean, she came highly recommended by James Marley and she looks way too old to be a criminal mastermind.” Nikki’s thoughts swirled with horrible possible scenarios.
“She wouldn’t be here right now if that was the case. I can promise you that,” Joe said.
“She lived there with her mother until she died. And then she lost the house to foreclosure.” He looked at Nikki. “Her current home is in a neighborhood I don’t feel at all good about. I saw someone selling drugs on the corner.”
Nikki’s stomach dropped.
“She needs and wants the job. And I think we’d be crazy to let her go. But we’d have to pay her enough to allow her to move somewhere safer without coming out and saying so. Her pride may be all she has left.” He took her hand and helped her to her feet. “The final decision is up to you.”
“Okay.” Nikki drew what she hoped would be a calming breath.
“Let’s give her a chance to enjoy your apparent ineptitude a little while longer before you get to it, okay?”
They walked back into the living area, where Luvie sat on the sofa with a girl on each side. “I thought it best not to put them on the floor until everything had been thoroughly cleaned. And possibly fumigated.”
Nikki looked to Joe. He raised an eyebrow, but she was not prepared to admit that the girls had slept on the rug the nanny didn’t even want them to walk on.
“I’ll admit my experiment didn’t go exactly as planned,” Nikki said, not quite ready for a full-on apology and still grappling with what Joe had told her. “I can see now just how much organizational skill is necessary to take good care of the twins and keep the house in the kind of condition you did.”
“It can be a bit tricky for those without experience,” Luvie conceded with a careful smile. “One must keep to a regular schedule,” she said pronouncing it as shed-ule. “Children need consistency. In food and in sleep.”
Nikki’s smile felt a bit tight.
“And, of course, a certain minimal level of cleanliness should go without saying.”
Yes, it should, Nikki thought. But apparently wasn’t going to.
“It’s important to set a good example for the girls.”
“Of course,” Nikki managed. She met Luvie’s brilliant green eyes. “But perhaps we should discuss how we might move forward.”
“Mr. Giraldi has indicated that you might like me to come back to work for you. And I would quite like that only . . . well, you did lie to me, didn’t you? A few times when I just happened to be out, I saw you with the girls and realized you hadn’t gone out of town as you’d claimed.”
It occurred to Nikki that her hallucinations had been quite real and that Mary Poppins had somehow managed to camouflage the extremely white skin and dark red hair and gone Mata Hari on her.
“It hurt quite a lot,” Luvie said. The nanny’s voice wavered. As if she were holding back tears.
“Yes, I’m very sorry for misrepresenting the situation. But of course you did get a paid holiday out of it.”
Luvie sniffed. “What is money in comparison to trust?”
Nikki sniffed back. “It’s my understanding that you haven’t been completely truthful yourself.”
Luvie’s eyes widened. Nikki was careful to keep her face impassive.
“Yes, well. I can truthfully say I fell in love with Sofia and Gemma at first sight.” Luvie’s face softened and her arms went around the girls. “I love them like a grandmother and I would never put them in harm’s way. I would give my life for them.”
Luvie’s face and voice radiated sincerity.
Nikki drew her first easy breath. “All right then. What happens now?”
“I had thought to be retired by now,” Luvie said. “But really, how many games of bingo and pickleball can one person play? I love your girls and I have to work. But I can’t live on a part-time salary.” Her green eyes were unflinching as she looked at Nikki.
“And I can’t live with full-time help, even help as fine as yours,” Nikki replied.
“Oh, my. Well then . . .” Luvie’s face fell. Her shoulders sagged. “We seem to be at an impasse then, don’t we? Perhaps our differences are irreconcilable.” She squeezed the girls’ shoulders gently and made to rise. “I understand.”
Nikki expected Joe to jump in and negotiate a truce of some kind, but he was now wearing his inscrutable face. The choice was, in fact, hers.
“Let’s not give up just yet,” she said, allowing herself to take in the disaster that was their home and to remember what it had taken to care for the girls completely on her own. “Surely we can work something out.” She felt rather than saw Joe’s smile. Imagined the girls were listening. “So. What if we give you a well-deserved raise and maintain a full-time salary with the understanding that you will come here as little or as much as we need from week to week—to be discussed and agreed upon each week?”
“You would overpay me not to come?” she asked.
“Well, she’s already paid you not to come at all,” Joe said drily. “It’s an unusual business model.”
“Quite.”
But Nikki was too intent on setting parameters to worry about form. “Maybe hours could accumulate over a thirty-day period. But you couldn’t work more hours than I’ve scheduled in any week.” She looked at the nanny, who had a pretty good poker face. “No exceptions. Do we agree?”
Luvie pretended to think, but Nikki was not surprised when she said, “Right then. I’m in.”
“And you’re good with this, Joe?” Nikki asked.
He cocked his head as if considering, but his eyes and his smile were once again warm. “Yes. Very crafty on your part to overpay someone not to work. Not too dissimilar to the ‘buy high, sell low’ school of investment.” He grinned. “But I couldn’t agree more.”
Nikki put out her hand. Luvie put her very plump white hand inside it. They shook.
“It might not be a bad idea to put this in writing,” the nanny said. “But I do believe we have a deal.”
Thirty-five
“God, it’s good to be home.” Kyra sat in a beach chair just beyond the Sunshine Hotel’s low wall with her mother, Nikki, Bitsy, and Avery watching the sun slip ever lower in the pinkening sky. The gulf glittered with its reflection. Palm fronds swayed and rustled in the gentle salt breeze. Her bare feet were half buried in the cool white sand and she was glad she’d put on a sweatshirt, glad she was finally home, gladder still to be in the center of this group of women. In a place where she could breathe.
With her mother back, the snacks were more plentiful. Bagel Bites and tiny hot dogs in pastry had been added to the requisite Ted Peters smoked fish spread and Avery’s bowl of Cheez Doodles. Bitsy had brought the wine.
“So, they were okay releasing Dustin from the movie early?” Avery asked.
“Not exactly. But they did ultimately see that it was in their best interest.” Kyra sank lower in her chair and turned her face up to the breeze, thinking about Daniel and Tonja. She raised the glass of wine Bitsy had just poured her. “And I’m claiming being home as my one good thing.” She smiled. “This may be the first time I’ve ever offered without being asked, but here’s to being home. And out of Winter Haven. And away from the Deranian-Kays.”
They raised their glasses and drank.
“Okay, I’m not ev
en going to try to get fancy here,” Maddie said. “I’m toasting Kyra and Dustin’s return. And my own. The tour was fascinating and exhilarating, and I’m really glad I went. I do miss Will, but I am also extremely happy and grateful to be home.” She raised her glass and they clicked and drank.
The red wine slipped down Kyra’s throat in a rush of reassuring warmth.
“I was so sorry to hear what happened to Dustin,” Nikki said. “I can’t even imagine seeing your child go underwater and not come back up. I go numb even talking about it. How are you both doing?”
“Dustin’s doing a little better already, I think. He’s as happy as I am to be back and thrilled to be out with ‘the guys.’ He doesn’t remember exactly what happened.” Kyra shuddered as the remembered panic and helplessness slammed into her. “And I’m afraid I’ll never be able to forget it.”
Her mother reached out a hand and laid it gently on her arm. “Even the most awful things begin to fade over time. We don’t necessarily forget them, but if we’re lucky, they become less painful.”
“And what about your disappointment in people?” she asked. She still didn’t understand where her mother had found the strength to move past her father’s breakdown and abdication of responsibility when their world had fallen apart. “Does that lessen over time, too?”
“I think so, yes,” her mother said carefully. “But it varies. Some outcomes feel better than others.”
“Personally, I’m a big fan of revenge,” Bitsy said. “I think it can promote healing. In fact, every time I check my account balance and see what Joe and June have helped me take back, Bertie’s betrayal hurts a little less. I don’t even think I’ll need a Band-Aid once he’s in jail.” She raised her glass. “To revenge as a prelude to healing.”
They raised their glasses, but all eyes turned to Maddie. Who might insist she was not the “good enough” police, but so was.
