“Connor...” Whatever she was going to say changed as seconds ticked past with their gazes locked, their bodies pinned tightly together. She licked her lips, sending a zip of heat sliding through him.
“Okay,” she said at last, reaching to cover his hand on her breast with her own. “Tonight.”
“And then every night after,” he said, knowing he was pushing and not giving a good damn. Having his hands on her again was both torture and delight.
“And every night after,” she said softly, shaking her head as if she knew she was making a mistake but was determined to do it anyway. “This is crazy, you know that, right?”
“No. What’s crazy is knowing what we have together and not having it.”
She laughed shortly. “Still, not a good idea.”
“Best idea since pizza,” he countered.
“I guess we’ll see.” Reluctantly, she pulled away from him and moved away. “But for now, I’ve got to run. I should be back by one or so...”
“I’ll be waiting,” he said as his body tightened painfully, throbbing and aching with each hard slam of his heartbeat.
“Great. Good.” Nodding, she backed away from him and Connor’s gaze swept down, loving the look of her long, toned legs in those very tiny shorts.
She made it to the doorway and paused. Turning back to him, she gave him a warning stare. “No more sampling the goodies.”
“You’re the only goodie I’m interested in,” he said quietly.
“Oh, boy.” She swallowed hard, then left the room at a run, as if she didn’t trust herself to stay another minute.
Nine
By the time she got back to the mansion on the cliff, Dina was exhausted and triumphant. She’d picked up two more jobs just on the strength of her appetizers. It really was amazing what you could get done when you had a little help. With Louise watching the triplets all day, Dina had been able to get everything done in half the time it usually took her when she also had to care for the babies.
She let herself in and paused long enough to listen to the silence in the big house. Then she took the stairs in the darkness; the only lights burning were night-lights plugged into wall sockets and gleaming like fallen stars in the shadows. Dina looked at Connor’s door, then at her own, and hesitated.
In that moment, his door opened and a slice of light spilled out. He leaned one hand high on the doorjamb and cocked his head as he looked at her. “You weren’t going to back out, were you?”
“I was thinking about it,” she admitted, giving a quick glance at the triplets’ room, its door cracked open just a bit.
“I’ve got the monitor in here, so,” Connor said, with a sly smile, “if you want to be able to hear them tonight, you’ll have to be with me.”
Dina had thought about nothing but this moment on the long drive back. There hadn’t been much traffic and so she’d let her mind wander a little. Of course, it wandered right to Connor and the situation she found herself in.
Ireland had altered everything between them. She’d allowed her relationship with Connor to fundamentally change. She’d slept with him, realized she was in love with him, and still she had no answers to how they would solve the issue of the triplets’ custody. She knew he wanted the babies and so did she. Neither of them was willing to give an inch about that, so sleeping together had only confused an already chaotic situation.
But she couldn’t regret it, either. Couldn’t wish that she’d stayed away from him. These last two days, sleeping alone in her own room had been difficult. She’d wanted to be with him but hadn’t wanted to assume that he meant to keep their intimate relationship alive.
Now she knew he did want what she did and it changed...nothing. There were still too many questions. Too many possible pitfalls to count.
“So,” he asked, pushing away from the doorjamb and standing straight. The light from the bedroom behind him made the edges of his silhouette gleam brightly. “I can see you thinking from here. Hell, I can almost hear your thoughts crashing through your mind.”
Good thing he couldn’t tell what she was thinking, Dina told herself.
“There’s a lot to consider,” she said.
“Not really.” He walked toward her, taking long, slow steps. His bare feet made no sound on the carpeted hall floor. When he reached her side, he laid his hands on her shoulders and the heat of him slid through her system, chasing away all of her doubts. Questions. At least for the moment.
“We already crossed this bridge, Dina,” he said softly, gaze locked with hers. “It would be crazy to try to go backward now and pretend it didn’t happen.”
“Or was it crazy to cross the bridge in the first place?”
One corner of his mouth tipped up. “Too late to wonder about that, too. Come with me, Dina,” he said. “Be with me.”
There never had been a real choice for her, she acknowledged silently. It didn’t seem to matter that this could all blow up in her face. For now, she could have what she wanted and needed. She could have Connor. However this ended between them, what she could have now was too tempting to ignore.
“Yes,” she said and walked beside him to his room.
* * *
A couple of hours later, she lay curled up against him, listening to the thundering beat of his heart beneath her ear. Her body was still trembling, her blood still buzzing with the force of the release she’d found only moments earlier.
The night was quiet but for the soft, snuffling sounds coming from the baby monitor on Connor’s dresser. Moonlight streamed through the windows as a soft breeze carried the scent of the ocean.
Her gaze swept what she could see of his room from her position. The bed was as big as a lake, and there was a bay window, with a cushioned window seat, inviting a person to curl up, relax and enjoy the view of the ocean and the beach below. There were tables, chairs, a black marble fireplace against one wall and a door she supposed led to a private bath. It was plush, luxurious and comfy all at once.
And yet, she couldn’t relax. Now that her body was replete, her mind was busy, racing with thoughts that jumbled together as if they’d been thrown into the air and allowed to drop into a heap.
“You’re thinking again.”
“Guilty,” she murmured on a soft laugh.
“Well,” Connor whispered, “I’ve been thinking, too.”
She tipped her head back on his chest to look up at him and met his gaze warily. “About?”
“This. Us. Where we are and what we want.”
“That’s a lot of thoughts,” she said and didn’t know whether to be relieved or concerned that he was spending time worrying over the same things she was.
“Things between us are different now than they were in the beginning,” he said.
“That’s fair.” It was a giant understatement, like saying the ocean was big and wet, but okay. She waited, wondering where he was going with this.
He went up on one elbow and looked down at her. He dropped his left arm across her middle as if trying to keep her at his side, even though she had no intention of moving.
“The custody issue is still staring at us.”
“Yeah...” Wary now, every cell in her body went on red alert, prepared for anything.
“We should get married.”
“What?” Okay, not prepared for everything. For one brief, shining moment, she thought—was he in love with her, too? Was this some magical happy ending to a fairy tale she hadn’t even realized she was living? For that moment, her heart lifted, worries sailed away and in seconds, fantasies spun in her head like crystallized sugar—and then shattered just as easily.
“It’s the only logical solution.”
Logic. She actually heard her fantasies pop like soap bubbles.
“In what universe?” Why were
they having this conversation naked?
Dina scooted up into a sitting position, drawing the edge of his midnight-blue duvet with her, holding it up to cover herself. She’d gone from blissful to dreamy to completely lost in about ten seconds flat.
He grinned and her heart jolted. This would be so much easier on her if she just didn’t love him.
“We both want the kids,” he said. “We want each other. This could work.”
She couldn’t believe he was even suggesting it. Married? They couldn’t get married.
“Before you say no,” he said as if he could read her mind, “think about this. We each get something out of this marriage.”
“This is crazy.”
He shook his head. “Not crazy. Brilliant.”
She choked back a laugh. Honestly, she still didn’t know what to say to him. A simple no didn’t seem wise. He was still in a position of power when it came to the triplets. It all came down to a custody suit and Dina knew there wasn’t a judge in California who would choose her—a woman with a failing business and too many bills—over a rich father willing to do anything to keep the babies. Yet at the same time, how could she say yes?
“This way, I get total access to my kids.”
“And I get...?”
“You get the kids, too, and the help you need when you need it,” he said. “Look at how much cooking you did yesterday. With Louise to watch the babies, you were able to work without interruption.”
“True,” she acknowledged, “but that’s hardly a reason to get married.”
“But there’s more,” he continued. “My house has more than enough room for all of us. You and the triplets would have outgrown that tiny cottage in six months.”
“Yes, but—”
He kept talking, plowing right over her as if she hadn’t said a word. “You and I wouldn’t have to go to war over them.”
“True, but—”
“And,” he added with a wicked grin that sent shards of light glinting in his eyes, “you have to admit, the sex is great.”
“Sure, but—”
“Then there’s your dream of opening a restaurant. I can help with that. I’ll back you.”
Something cold settled in the middle of her chest. Suspicion trickled through her bloodstream. “Why would you do that?”
He shrugged. “Hey, I had that soup you made for dinner. Incredible. Tasted that burrito—were there any of those left over, by the way?”
“No.” One word, forced through gritted teeth. She didn’t know where he was going with this, but she didn’t have a good feeling.
“Too bad.” He shifted position on the bed so that he was sitting opposite her. Unlike Dina, who continued to clutch the duvet to hide her nudity from a man who already knew every inch of her body, Connor had no qualms about having this conversation naked.
She told herself not to let her gaze drop below his neck. She was going to need focus and concentration to keep on top of this little chat. And being distracted by his muscled, tanned body wasn’t going to help her with that.
“Anyway, to answer your question, I’m willing to back you in a restaurant because you’re a talented chef.”
“Uh-huh.” Her breath was coming fast and shallow.
“Then you won’t have to worry about the catering business failing. You can just end it.”
“Is that right?” Suddenly, that sexual heat they shared wasn’t as much of an issue. God, she was an idiot. She was feeling all warm and fuzzy and he was thinking strategies. “I can quit. Let you buy me a restaurant.”
“Yeah.” He looked so pleased with himself, she wanted to shake him.
Instead, she got a grip on her rising temper and sense of outrage and ground out, “So rather than letting you pay me for the babies, I let you pay me to marry you.”
A couple of seconds passed before he said, “What?”
“Unbelievable.” She slid off the bed and tugged on the duvet until he lifted himself off it so she could wrap the damn thing around her like a puffy toga. “I told you I wouldn’t sell my family. What makes you think I would sell myself?”
“Whoa, whoa,” he said, holding up both hands in a placating gesture. “Who said anything about you selling yourself?”
“You did. Just now. ‘The sex is great. Marry me and I’ll buy you a restaurant.’” She pushed her tangled hair back from her face with an impatient gesture. “Seemed pretty clear to me. All I have to do is have sex with you and I get to keep the kids I love and, oh, boy, have my dreams fulfilled.”
“That’s insulting.”
“You’re right about that.”
“To both of us,” he clarified. Shaking his head, he jumped off his side of the bed and came around the end of it to stop right in front of her. “It amazes me. Why is it that people with no money are so damned defensive?”
She gasped. “Seriously? You think the problem here is me? Why is it that people with too much money are so damned arrogant?”
“I’m not being arrogant, I’m being helpful,” he argued.
“Not what it sounds like on this side of the checkbook.”
“You’re taking this all wrong.”
“Must be because I’m so defensive,” she muttered and kicked the duvet away from her feet so she could pace. She couldn’t stand still another minute. Her insides were jumping, her blood felt as if it were boiling and Dina could have sworn that the edges of her vision really were red.
“Not exactly the response I was expecting from a proposal.”
“Not exactly the kind of proposal every girl dreams of hearing.”
“Hold on here,” he said. “I’m not talking about love. I’m talking about a business deal, via marriage.”
She stopped at the bay window and whipped her head around to shoot him a glare that should have frozen him on the spot. “Oh, you’ve made that perfectly clear.”
“Why the hell are you acting like this?”
“Amazing that you can’t figure it out.”
He huffed out a breath and set both hands at his naked hips. “I’m not trying to buy you, Dina.”
“Really? Then why do you keep throwing your money at me?”
“What am I supposed to do,” he demanded, tossing his hands high, “pretend I don’t have any?”
“You’d never be able to pull it off anyway,” she grumbled. Dina stared out the window at the night. Stars studded the sky and the moonlit ocean frothed and churned like the emotions inside her.
“You know, this backward snob thing is getting old.”
“Excuse me?” She turned around to look at him through narrowed eyes.
He laughed a little, but the sound held no humor. “You know just what I’m saying. You’re threatened by my bank account.”
That was true. With money came power, and no one knew that better than those who didn’t have any. “Well, who wouldn’t be?”
“I’m offering to marry you, share the kids with you and help you make your restaurant dream come true.” He shook his head. “How does that make me the bad guy?”
“Not bad...” she said, “just dictatorial, and overbearing.” Dina’s hair was really bugging her. She stabbed her fingers through the heavy mass and pushed it back and away from her face. “I don’t need you to tell me when to end my business or to buy me a restaurant. I can make my own dreams come true.”
“And I can help. What’s wrong with that?”
“Because you want me to do something because you think it’s the right thing to do and I should just fall in line.”
“Where the hell did that come from?” he demanded.
Dina knew where it came from. Years of watching her mother change her life, her hair, her personality, her laugh, all to please the man she was with at the time. She did it f
or so long, the woman she was at the heart of her had faded and blurred like a photo left in the sun. Finally, it was as if she’d disappeared completely, dissolving into one of the faux women she’d pretended to be.
Dina wouldn’t do that. Wouldn’t allow her attraction to Connor to morph into the identity-crushing thing her mother had lived through.
“You don’t have to open a damn restaurant,” he argued. “Keep the catering business...”
“Thanks so much.” She folded her arms under her breasts and tapped the toes of one bare foot against the rug. “Are you sure a caterer is good enough to marry one of the Kings of California?”
“Good enough?”
“Can’t have one of you married to some lowly caterer, can we?”
“You’re nuts. I’ve got a cousin married to the cookie queen, another one’s wife owns a Christmas tree farm and I could go on, but what’s the point? This isn’t about me. This is about you and whatever the hell’s going on inside your head.” Shaking his head he added, “Hell, make tacos and sell ’em at a stand in front of the house. I don’t care.”
“Wow, thank you again.” Dina didn’t believe him. He was maneuvering her until she was in just the spot he wanted her to be. Her heart hurt and yet in spite of this awful argument, she still loved him. She probably always would. Which was just so depressing.
“So I’m damned if I want to help and damned if I don’t?”
She clutched the duvet even more tightly to her, fisting one hand in the silky fabric. Making sure her voice was steady, she took a breath and said, “You want too much.”
“I want my family,” he corrected, “and I’m willing to include you in that. What’s the problem?”
She couldn’t tell him that. Couldn’t tell him that she loved him, because he didn’t want to hear it. Couldn’t say that a business proposal broke her heart even while it tempted her to accept. Because he wanted too much and didn’t give enough.
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