Fuck. I hate when she calls me that. I haven’t gone by Amelia since she threw my dad out two years ago. She knows this. We’ve talked about it. It’s a trigger for me and the last thing she wants is a repeat of the way she found me shortly after she kicked the asshole out.
Trying to escape the pain, the horror I’ve been living with and being too stupid to do it in private. A mistake I’ve never made again.
My dad; he’s a monster, but I’m the only one who knows it. Caroline Evans only knows the result of what I experienced with him, she doesn’t know what caused it and if I have my way, she never will.
Shit.
Thinking about this, it’s going to create a whole lot of crap I’m not prepared to handle right now. I’ve got to walk into that office and pretend I want to make a change. I need to keep my mind focused on that, not the horrors of the past and what they make me do.
“I’ve been caught doing the same shit for the last two years, Mom. If it hasn’t changed with as many times as I’ve been caught, what makes you think this time is gonna be any different?”
“I didn’t do anything before, that’s why this time is different. The time for me coddling you is over. There is something wrong with you and if sitting you down in front of a professional is what will change things, then that’s exactly what we’re going to do. For however long it takes. I mean it, Amelia. It ends now.”
Feeling the urge to throw up rising, I open the door and after throwing off my seatbelt, bolt from the car as fast as my legs can go. That’s another thing I do that she doesn’t know and I’m not sticking around for her to find out.
My secrets, they’re mine to keep and no one is gonna change it. I’ll take them to the grave.
Eric
Making my way out of Dr. Thompson’s office, heading straight for the reception area, the last thing I’m focused on is anything going on around me. I’ve done this same routine for years, so I’m a master at tuning out the people and conversations around me. The sooner I can make sure I’m scheduled for next week, the sooner I can get out of here and back to the safety that my house and room brings.
As I round the bend, the one that will take me to Rose, the receptionist with the welcoming smile, I run full throttle into a body and hearing the squeal before seeing the person I hit, I immediately jump back.
Damnit. Of course this is the one day where the routine changes and I can’t make a hasty getaway.
“I’m sorry,” I say as I bend down to the girl that’s now bent over on the floor in front of me. “I should have watched where I was going.”
Speaking in public, especially with strangers, it’s something I don’t do. Call it anxiety or whatever, but I don’t make a habit of doing it. If a grunt or shift of my head or hands can get the message across then that’s all I need. Now though, since I caused this, I can’t get by with my usual mechanisms.
“Yeah, you should have. What the hell?” she says and my blood runs cold. I know that voice.
She pushes her blonde hair out of her face and the minute her eyes look up, the light blue color locking on me, I feel sick to my stomach. Amy Evans. One of the girls I go to school with, the person that helped Dillon and the others make my life a living hell. She’s on her knees on the floor in front of me, eyes as usual full of hatred.
“What the hell?” she asks again, but this time it’s different. She recognizes me now and she’s asking because my being here makes no sense to her.
Resisting the urge to turn and run now that I’ve been caught, I step completely out of my comfort zone and stick my hand out, not bothering with a response. The sooner I help her up, the better. I need to get out of here before she decides to use my being here against me.
Placing her hand into mine even though she looks none too pleased to be doing it, I pull her up and immediately let go. I’ve done the right thing. She’s standing on her own two feet. I can go now.
“How did you know I was gonna be here?” she asks before I can turn and make my getaway.
“I don’t know—w—what you’re t—talking about.” I stutter, the urge to get away from her even worse now that I’ve heard the way I sound. I’m giving her material to use against me. Great.
“S—sure you d—don’t.” she stammers, breaking out in a fit of laughter.
This is supposed to be a safe place even though I hate it. No one is supposed to know that I come here, least of all one of the biggest bullies in the school. The girl that just two days ago managed to hurt another one of the people I go to class with.
Hannah Michaels is the newest beat and burn victim. The girl that wouldn’t hurt a fly had been on the receiving end of this girl’s hatred for all things special needs and was now spending her days at home paying the price for doing absolutely nothing. Yeah, I definitely gotta get the heck out of here before she decides I’m next.
“A—are you o—okay?” I stupidly ask even though it comes out just as choked up as before.
“Yeah I’m fine.” She answers, her smile gone and a look of indifference in its place. My eyes fall from her face as she starts fiddling with her sleeves, but not before I catch what it is she’s obviously trying to hide.
Marks up and down her arms, circular. Some of them pink, others red and then a few that must be old because they’re a real deep shade of brown. Marks I’ve seen more than once before. Flashing back to the way Isabelle’s arm looked after running into Amy last fall, it hits me.
Burns. All over her arm. Amy’s burned.
“Uh—okay.”
Way to use your words, Eric.
Moving around her, I attempt to get back to the routine; needing to get to the reception desk and Rose’s sympathetic face now more than ever. As I’m about to turn the corner and go completely out of her view, I hear her speak again and this time, there’s no hatred or loathing.
“Eric,” she calls out, her voice pleading. “Do you think you could keep this between us?”
Getting over the shock at hearing her call me by my actual name and not some of the hate filled ones she normally has for me, I nod my head. Of course I can keep this between us. The last thing I wanna do is admit that Amy caught me after I spent the last hour talking to a shrink.
“Yeah sure. You’re not even here.”
The strangest thing happens after I speak. It throws me off so completely that as she turns and makes her way down the hall, I’m still standing in the same exact place, unable to move. Before she turned and walked away, she did the one thing I didn’t think was possible for her.
She smiled.
Chapter Two
Amelia
I’m pretty sure he caught my arms before I got the stupid sweater sleeves to go down, which means he knows my secret. One of them anyway.
Fuck. I knew coming here was going to be a mistake. Now the biggest retard in the school knows that there’s something seriously messed up about me and there’s nothing stopping him from telling everyone the minute he goes back to school Monday.
“Yeah, sure. You’re not even here.”
The way he easily accepts my request to keep this between us, maybe it means he won’t tell anyone after all. If he’s here there’s obviously a reason for it, probably something having to do with all the torture me and the others put him through; so maybe he’s as invested in keeping this quiet as I am.
I can hope anyway.
No one can know about this. It’s bad enough that I’ve gotta do it, but having the others find out about it, no fucking way. Secrets are called that for a reason. If we wanted the whole world to know our shit we’d get up on the top of a building and shout it out to them. The fact that we keep them so close to the vest, it means that it’s better off not knowing.
I can’t have people knowing what I do to myself or even what was done to me. Those are my secrets and just like I won’t ever tell my mom, I won’t tell anyone else either. Not even some stuffy doctor that thinks because he’s got a degree it makes him trustworthy. If anything, all being h
ere is gonna do is make me clam up even more.
Eric Carmen. Another one of the special kids we’ve chosen over the years and tortured the living hell out of. Of course he would be the one that found me here. Now that he caught me though, I can’t help being curious to why he’s even here at all.
Is it because of the things we’ve done to him, or is there more going on with him than just being in a class with the rest of the “special” kids?
Before I can give it much thought, the old dinosaur across from me starts speaking and I’m brought back to the real reason I’m here. Time to put Eric and the whole incident that just happened out of my head and put my game face on.
“Let me start by introducing myself. I’m Dr. Thompson and for the next several months or however long you feel is needed, I’m here for you, Amelia.”
“Amy.”
“Excuse me?”
“My name—it’s Amy. I don’t go by Amelia anymore.”
Shit. Not even here five minutes and already giving this guy material to use in order to head shrink me.
Note to self: Keep your mouth shut.
“Alright then, Amy it is.” He says, taking me by surprise. Maybe this guy’s not as good as everyone thinks. Telling him I don’t go by Amelia should have opened the door for a shit load of questions, but he’s not asking me anything.
“I don’t really think I need to be here.”
He chuckles and the way it sounds, it reminds me of someone better left forgotten. He used to laugh the same way. He also used to level me with the same look as the shrink is now. Shit. I really need to get the hell out of here.
“Most people believe the same thing when they sit across from me for the first time, but it’s been proven that everyone that ends up here, does indeed need to be here.”
“Well I don’t, so can we just move it along?”
“Can you tell me why you’re in such a hurry to get out of here?”
My goal when my mom forced me to come here was to just say whatever I needed to in order to get the fuck out of here, but the way he’s looking at me, his undivided attention on me, it changes everything.
Opening my mouth, prepared to tell him that I’ve got somewhere more important to be, I’m blown away when that’s the last thing that comes out.
“I need to get out of here because things are going to get worse if I stay.”
Eric
“Do you think we can keep this between us?”
It’s been over three hours since she asked me that, but I haven’t been able to let it go. It’s made even worse because right along with her question, I can easily pull up the image of her arm, the burns on it and any attempt at forgetting is thrown out the window.
How weird is it that the girl that goes out of her way to burn other kids every day at school is the one walking around with so many that you can barely make out burn from skin?
I can’t care about this. Whatever the reason is for her showing up at Thompson’s office, it’s none of my business. She’s got just as much right to be there as I do. Doing what she asked, it’s easy because I don’t wanna be found out either. Word getting out that I’m spending half my week talking to a psychiatrist and the relentless bullying I’ve been through will never let up.
Accepting the fact that any studying I hoped to get done tonight is completely screwed, I reach across the desk and grab my phone. Belle texted earlier, giving me information about what happened to Hannah and I never answered her back. If I can’t study, I might as well do that now.
Is she gonna be okay?
The one thing I can always depend on with Belle is that if she’s not busy doing something with her little brother Tristan or off somewhere with Kayden, she’s texting right back. So when her response comes back almost immediately, I’m ready for it.
Her mom called to talk to mine earlier. It looks like they’re gonna pull her out for the rest of the year and homeschool her.
Homeschool.
Something Belle is familiar with but that I know nothing about. Despite the way I was treated in middle school after my diagnosis, my parents insisted that I ride it out, wanting to keep things as normal as possible. It’s another point of contention with me. If they had just pulled me out back then, after the first time it happened, maybe I wouldn’t have had to live through everything I am now.
Only problem with that is, I wouldn’t have met Belle and I’m pretty sure she’s the best damn thing that ever happened to me.
So what happens now?
Well Charlotte and Eve got suspended, but not sure what happened with Amy.
So much for not thinking about the girl.
If I was like everyone else, I’d text Belle back and tell her everything that happened earlier. I’d give Amy a dose of her own medicine, using things against people she thinks are weaker than her; making her pay for the abuse she puts everyone through. I’m not like everyone else though so I don’t say a damn thing.
I keep her secret even though she doesn’t deserve it.
Tossing my phone back on the desk, nothing else left to say to the only real friend I’ve got, I turn as I hear my door crack open behind me.
“Eric, your dad and I were thinking it’d be nice to go out and catch the new X-Men movie. Did you wanna come?”
Here we go again. She does this like clockwork at least once a week. I spend so much time locked away in my room that she starts to worry and comes up with a plan to get me out. I wish she’d just get a clue that this is exactly where I want to be. If she did that then maybe there wouldn’t be so much fighting in the house.
She doesn’t think I know, but I hear them late at night. When they think I’m asleep, the tight lipped way they are during the day falls away and their true feelings come out. My mom is overwhelmed, having to handle not only me and all my issues but my sister too and my dad, well, he can’t handle it.
He doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with me. He’s told her that so many times now that I’ve lost count and trust me, for me to lose count, it’s gotta be a lot. It doesn’t matter what the doctors say, he just thinks I’m a weird kid.
My dad’s as clueless as the kids I go to school with. My mom’s done her best to try and educate him so that they can work together and help me, but she hits a brick wall every time. I don’t think their marriage can take much more, especially with the way they’ve been fighting lately.
It’s because I know all this that I’m gonna crack and give her what she wants. I’m gonna go to the movies with her and dad even though it’s the last place I wanna be.
“Sure, Mom. I’ll go.”
The way her eyes light up, it makes me happy. I always want to see my mom like this. She’s been so weighed down with everything that it feels like forever since she looked this bright. Knowing that I’m the reason for it makes it even better.
“Great! Well we’re gonna leave in like twenty minutes; so just come down when you’re ready.”
She slips back out through the open door before I can respond and I’m amazed. Truth is, I’m always amazed by the things my mom does. She’s learning as she goes, the same way I am, but she does it so flawlessly you’d never even know it. It just makes me wish my dad would listen to her more. Maybe if he did things wouldn’t be so strained around here.
Truth is, I’m actually looking forward to going out this time. Comic books, I love them almost as much as I do video games. So this movie night, it’s the perfect one. It was the same way when Thor 2 came out and she popped in the same way, asking me to go with her. She gets it.
Turning back to the desk, I stare at the textbook in front of me, making myself a silent promise to get back to it the minute we get home before grabbing my keys from the hook above my head and my phone, now flashing with a new notification, sitting on the edge.
It’s only when I grab my jacket off the chair and shrug my way into it that I focus on the incoming text waiting for me.
As usual it’s from Belle and for the first time since I
got home from the doctor’s earlier, I’m happy.
Wolverine or Cyclops? Think about it and tell me when you get here. <3
Maybe this night won’t be such a bust after all.
Chapter Three
Amelia
It’s late. Mommy didn’t shut the window, so there’s a breeze, but I can’t find my blanket so I’m shivering, my knees curled into my chest in an attempt to hold onto the small amount of warmth my body still has.
The door creaks open and the hallway light spills through, making the shadow of the person standing here even bigger. So big that it covers me completely. They’re moving toward me now, I can hear the scuffing of their feet on my carpet.
“There she is. Daddy’s special little princess. My Amelia.”
I really like it when he calls me his Amelia, it makes me feel super special. Like I’m his favorite. He loves me more than anyone else in the world.
He sits on the bed and reaches his hand out until its resting on top of mine. I wrap my small fingers around his and squeeze, my way of telling him that I love him. I’m rewarded as even in the dark, I can see him smiling so wide his teeth are showing. He scoots over until his big strong arms are wrapped around me, his fingers rubbing up and down my back, causing my already chilled body to shiver.
“Yes, my Amelia.” He whispers and I giggle, causing him to pull away just enough until our faces are almost touching, his eyes focused on nothing but me.
His smile from a second ago, it’s gone and he looks sad. I hate seeing Daddy look sad. It makes me wanna take it all away. I bet Mommy is the reason for it. She never makes him happy.
“Daddy, are you okay?”
He flinches as I speak, but his hands never leave me, now running up and down my arms the same way they just were on my back.
“No, baby, I’m not okay.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Daddy needs his little Amelia.”
“You do have me. I’m right here and I’m never ever leaving you.”
Take Me With You Page 2
