Then suddenly she stopped and walked back to Dr. Mal.
“I’m pretty sure I don’t deserve this award,” she told him. “Thank you for this incredible honor, but I can’t accept it.”
She handed him the certificate and then ran back to her parents and burst into tears.
Everyone froze in shock. After a second, Dr. Mal went up to Lauren and put his hand on her shoulder.
“Can you tell us what this is about?” he asked gently. Lauren just shook her head. The whole camp was silent except for the sound of the wind in the trees. No one seemed to have any idea what to do next.
Except Jared Bumpers.
“It’s his fault,” he said, pointing at me.
Everyone stared at Jared, then turned to stare at me.
“You ruined everything,” Jared continued, his eyes turning a little wild. “From the day you got here, to that stunt you pulled this morning, it’s obvious you never belonged here. This whole summer’s been messed up because of you.”
“That’s not true,” I tried to say, but no words come out.
“You don’t care about anybody but yourself,” he said. “I figured that out when Dwayne was going to name me captain of the basketball team, but somehow you got him to change his mind and pick you.”
“That’s crazy!” I said, finding my voice. “I didn’t even want to be captain!”
“And then, you made your big stand against Extra Workshop, just so you could be the center of attention,” he went on. “You’re lucky Katie figured out a compromise with Dr. Mal. You could have ruined everything for the rest of us!”
“I was—” I began, but didn’t know how to finish the sentence. Everyone waited for Dr. Mal to say something, but I think he was too stunned to react.
Jared started walking around like he was a lawyer talking to a jury on one of those TV shows. “You came to this camp thinking you were way too cool for the rest of us,” he said. “We’re just a bunch of nerds at nerd camp, right? What’s a popular kid like you doing here with the dorks, who like to read and write and actually want to make something of themselves?”
I looked at the people who had been my friends: Jack, George, Cathy. But none of them would look at me. Not after I skipped Final Workshop, which was an unforgiveable sin as far as they were concerned.
Jared smiled a cold smile. “You thought you could change us, get us to be more like you,” he said. “Well, guess what? We know your type. Your type isn’t welcome here. You proved it once and for all this morning by skipping the test. So you should just leave camp now before—”
“That’s enough!” Lauren shouted. “Stop!”
Jared stopped.
Everyone turned to look at Lauren.
She stepped forward.
“Jared has no idea what he’s talking about,” Lauren began quietly. “Charlie Joe has more integrity in his little finger than Jared has in his whole body.”
Jared’s face turned white. It was as if he suddenly knew exactly what Lauren was about to say.
Her voice got stronger. “This morning, Charlie Joe did something that he knew would get him in huge trouble, but he did it anyway.” Everyone looked at me. I stared straight ahead.
“But the amazing thing isn’t that he did it,” she continued. “Because we all know that’s not exactly shocking behavior from this kid.”
She took a deep breath.
“It’s that he did it for me.”
A gasp went through the crowd. I glanced at Katie, who had a look of total relief on her face.
“Charlie Joe Jackson skipped Final Workshop,” she went on, “so I wouldn’t have to cheat.”
“Cheat how?” Dr. Mal asked.
Lauren stared at the ground. “Someone wanted to copy off my paper, and I didn’t want to let them,” she said, in a barely audible whisper. “But I probably would have, if Charlie Joe hadn’t talked me out of it. His plan was just a way to help me.”
Everyone stood there for a second. No one was quite sure what to do.
“Is this true?” Dr. Mal asked Lauren. “These are very, very serious allegations.”
Lauren looked Dr. Mal right in the eye. “It’s true,” she answered.
Dr. Mal looked around the circle, until his eyes landed on Jared, who was starting to sweat through his shirt. Dr. Mal walked over and stood over him, the way he’d stood over me at The Welcome Ring on the very first day of camp.
“Mr. Bumpers,” he said quietly, “do you have anything you’d like to tell us?”
Jared stared up at Dr. Mal for about ten seconds. He looked as if he were about to cry.
“I hate this freakin’ place!” he finally shouted. Then he ran out of the circle and into the dining hall.
Nobody moved for about a minute. Then all at once, people started coming over and pounding me on the back happily. Katie practically jumped into my arms.
“I knew it,” she kept repeating. “I just knew it.”
The next voice I heard was my dad’s.
“Are all nerd camps this weird?” he asked.
47
After about two minutes of buzzing, Dr. Mal cleared his throat and asked for everyone’s attention.
“Okay, so now you know what I mean when I say this has been quite a summer,” Dr. Mal said, as people laughed nervously. “But, even in these last five minutes, we’ve seen yet again what incredible kids we have at this camp. One camper is incredibly concerned because she is asked to cheat on behalf of a friend, and another camper sacrifices his good standing at the camp to help her. If that doesn’t say a lot about the kind of kids we have, I don’t know what does.”
People started applauding. Quietly at first, then louder and louder, until it sounded like a huge wave. People kept clapping, while Lauren and I just stood there embarrassed. Finally Dr. Mal asked for quiet.
“That is why, after discussing it briefly with Dr. Singer, Dwayne, and Ms. Domerca, we have decided to offer not one, but two inaugural Rituhbukkee Rewards. Please join me in congratulating Lauren Rubin … and Charlie Joe Jackson.”
I wasn’t sure I heard him correctly. Did I just win a free scholarship to attend Camp Rituhbukkee again next summer?!?
Gulp.
I suddenly got completely confused. Was this awesome or horrible? I had no idea.
Dr. Mal asked me if I wanted to say anything.
I did.
“Part of what Jared said is actually true,” I said. “I hate to admit it, but when I first got here, I did think I was too cool for this place. In fact, I told myself that I needed to make you guys more like me. But that was just totally stupid. You guys are completely cool, in your own scary, dorky, nerdy, different kind of way.” I looked directly at George and Jack. “And thanks for making me feel like I belong, even though you know that I totally don’t.”
Then I winked at Katie. She winked back.
I handed the microphone back to Dr. Mal. My parents hugged me. Megan hugged me. My dogs hugged me. And my friends who had been mad at me came up and hugged me, too.
“Well done,” said Nareem.
“I knew you wouldn’t just skip the test,” said George. “I just knew it.”
“This is totally going to help you get into college,” said Jack. Before I could roll my eyes, he added, “Just kidding.”
Ms. Domerca came up to me and gave me the biggest hug of all.
“You are quite the character,” she said.
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” I asked her.
She laughed. “Both.”
Dr. Mal came over and shook my hand.
“Congratulations, Mr. Jackson,” he said. “We look forward to welcoming you back here next summer.”
I looked him in the eye. I nodded. I smiled.
“Can’t wait,” I said.
I had no idea if I meant it or not.
48
A few minutes later, it was time to say good-bye. I started with Jack, who introduced me to his grandmother, whom he called Nana.
&n
bsp; “Jack’s told me a lot about you,” she said. “Most of it good.”
“You make the best chocolate chip cookies ever created, Nana,” I replied.
She winked at me. “You should try my plum cake.” I didn’t have the heart to tell her I hated plums.
Jack’s parents were there, too. The famous Mr. Strong, who was really short but just as scary-looking as I’d imagined.
I shook his hand. “I’ve heard a lot about you, sir.”
“Not all of it bad, I hope.”
“Not all,” I said. “Just most.”
He let out a huge laugh for a split second. Then his eyes narrowed and he looked a little bit like he wanted to eat me.
I tried to ignore him and went up to Jack. “I have a going-away present for you,” I told him.
He looked at me a little nervously. “You do?”
“Yup.” I opened my duffel bag and pulled out one of my favorite T-shirts. It had a picture of Homer Simpson on it, sitting on his couch with his belly out and chips and drinks spilled all around him. Above his head, it said AMERICAN IDLE.
“I want you to have this,” I said, giving Jack the shirt.
He smiled nervously. “Thanks.” He glanced down at the shirt he had on, which had a picture of a brain doing jumping jacks on it and the words TRAIN YOUR BRAIN.
Then he looked at his dad, who was checking out the Homer shirt with a suspicious look on his face.
Jack wasn’t sure what to do next. He looked back at me.
“Think of Lech Walesa,” I said.
Jack nodded, closed his eyes, and quickly took off his shirt.
“Jack, what are you doing?” asked his dad. But Jack didn’t answer. Instead, he took a deep breath and pulled on the Homer Simpson shirt.
“Looks awesome,” I said.
“Thanks,” Jack said.
And we high-fived.
49
I still had a few farewells left.
First was Dwayne, who came up from behind me and gave me a bear hug, nearly breaking every bone in my body.
“The Jockstrap boys still don’t know what hit them,” he said, smiling. “Same time next year.”
Lauren Rubin had a present for me: two pounds of Oreo cookie fudge from Ye Olde Fudge Factory.
I couldn’t believe it. “When did you buy that?!?”
“When you weren’t looking.”
“Not possible,” I told her. “There wasn’t a single moment when I wasn’t looking at that fudge.”
Then I thanked her for about twenty minutes.
George was hanging on to Cathy Ruddy for dear life, so I decided to leave him alone. I’d text him later that night, now that my cell phone was back in its proper place—my pocket.
When I said good-bye to Ms. Domerca, I had to make sure I didn’t cry.
“Charlie Joe said you were his favorite,” my dad told her.
“He’s one of my favorites, too,” she said.
I held up the Lech Walesa book, which Ms. Domerca said I could keep. “Ms. Domerca turned me on to this really good book about this really brave and interesting guy.”
My parents stared at me. Ms. Domerca smiled.
“Kids can really surprise you, can’t they?” she said.
“You can say that again,” my mom answered.
“We taught Charlie Joe just a little bit about the joys of learning,” Ms. Domerca said. “And he returned the favor by teaching all of us a little bit about the joys of not learning.”
Katie and Nareem came over with their parents. They were holding hands.
“We made it,” Katie said to me.
“Barely,” I answered, and we laughed.
“See you at the beach?”
“Definitely.”
“And at the library?” Nareem asked.
“Definitely not,” I answered.
Katie’s mom hugged me. “Will you really come back next year?” she asked.
“I have no idea,” I answered.
Katie grinned. “Oh, he’ll be here. This whole Lauren Rubin thing was just the final stroke of genius. That’s how these secret nerds operate. He was dying to come back, and now he gets to come for free! Trust me, he planned the whole thing.”
Everyone laughed.
Even me.
50
As we pulled away from camp, I looked around one last time. I took it all in: the basketball court, where we beat Camp Jockstrap; the Table Of Contents, where I worked on my newspaper articles; the dining hall, where I took a stand against Extra Workshop; and the lake, where Katie talked Dr. Mal into a compromise.
Then I looked at the flagpole, where camp began strangely, ended even more strangely, and I finally—kind of—became a true Rituhbukkean.
I sat in the back seat next to Moose and Coco, who both licked me as if I were a chocolate ice cream cone. Then I got out my cell phone and immediately texted Timmy, Jake, Hannah, Eliza, and Pete. The rest of the summer was going to be awesome!
So why was I feeling a little sad?
I put my phone away, took a deep breath, and closed my eyes, trying to deal with this weird sad feeling. When I opened them again, I saw the sign.
CAMP RITUHBUKKEE:
MOLDING YOUNG MINDS SINCE 1933
I stared at it, wondering if it was true. Had my mind been molded after all? It seemed like just yesterday I thought I’d landed on a distant, scary planet. Now, here I was, three weeks later, already kind of missing it.
Then I had an even scarier thought: Was Katie right? Was I really a nerd-in-training? Was the Lech Walesa book just the beginning?
Did I really like reading?
I let myself think about it for about five more seconds. Then I decided I’d done enough thinking for one summer.
So I ate a piece of fudge, lay my head down on Moose’s lap, and slept the whole way home.
Dear Charlie Joe,
Since I didn’t go to Final Workshop, Ms. Domerca told me that my last assignment was to write a letter to myself, to talk about what I learned at camp.
I learned that I definitely don’t want to write any more letters for a while.
Your pal,
Charlie Joe
“Learning to Love, and Loving to Learn”
The Camp Rituhbukkee Fight Song
We gather together on the lake’s mighty shores
To make brand-new friendships, and open new doors
The summer is here now and yes, so are we
Let camp fill our hearts for all eternity.
Learning to love, and loving to learn
Time now to soar, like the earth’s tallest fern
It’s what makes the sun rise, what makes the world turn
Learning to love, and loving to learn.
Every book that we read gives us wisdom to spare
Every word that we write is a gift that we share
From the mountains to the valleys, let them all hear us sing
Knowledge is power, and power is king!
Learning to love, and loving to learn
Learning to love, and loving to learn
Time now to soar, like the earth’s tallest fern
It’s what makes the sun rise, what makes the world turn
Learning to love, and loving to learn.
“Wocka! Wockajocka!”
The Camp Wockajocka Fight Song
Wocka!
Wockajocka!
Wocka!
Wockajocka!
Wocka!
Wockajocka!
Wocka!
Wockajocka!
Wocka!
Wockajocka!
Gooooooooooooooooo Wockajocka!
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Free s’mores go to the following:
Nancy Mercado and Michele Rubin, for putting up with me and my half-empty glass.
Everyone at Roaring Brook/Macmillan, the best in the biz.
David Kane, trailermaster.
And Cathy Utz, for everything else.
To Kenny and Elle
n Greenwald
And to my favorite campers, Jessica and Jake
Text copyright © 2013 by Tommy Greenwald
Illustrations copyright © 2013 by J. P. Coovert
Published by Roaring Brook Press
Roaring Brook Press is a division of Holtzbrinck Publishing Holdings Limited Partnership
175 Fifth Avenue, New York, New York 10010
mackids.com
All rights reserved
The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Greenwald, Tommy.
Charlie Joe Jackson’s guide to summer vacation / Tommy Greenwald; illustrated by J. P. Coovert.—1st ed.
p. cm.
Summary: “Charlie Joe Jackson is back and he’s at academic summer camp trying to convert all the other kids to non-academics.”—Provided by publisher.
ISBN 978-1-59643-757-9 (hardcover) — ISBN 978-1-59643-880-4 (ebook)
[1. Camps—Fiction. 2. Interpersonal relations—Fiction. 3. Humorous stories.] I. Coovert, J. P., III II. Title.
PZ7.G8523Chs 2013
[Fic]—dc23
2012034249
eISBN 9781596438804
First hardcover edition, 2013
eBook edition, May 2013
Charlie Joe Jacksons Guide to Summer Vacation Page 12
