“Yes. I’m the only father he’s ever known. My brother sure as hell wasn’t up to the task.”
And there it was again. Alyssa felt the old, familiar jab of pain at the cold, dismissive tone in his voice as he spoke of his brother. It was always there, it seemed, just sometimes closer to the surface, as it had been this morning, sparking the argument that had sent Luke running.
“Drew, please, not now,” she said softly, looking over to where Luke was romping with the dog, who now seemed nothing more than the perfect child’s companion.
His jaw tightened, but with a glance in the same direction, he nodded. His tone was neutral when he turned back to the pair before him. “Thank you for bringing him home.”
“Thank Cutter,” Hayley said. “He found him.” She looked at Alyssa. “He was very cautious, your Luke. Said you told him people sometimes use animals to lure kids.”
“For all the good it apparently did,” she answered wryly.
“Oh, it did,” Quinn assured her. She appreciated that. “He wasn’t about to let either of us near him. That’s why we had Cutter backtrack him here. That interested him enough to get him to come home.”
Drew glanced once more at the boy and dog, who were rolling around on wet grass as if it were a warm, sunny day. “That must be some dog.”
Hayley laughed. “We could tell you stories. But now, I think we should leave you to...resolve this.”
Drew nodded. “We need to talk to him some more.”
“Don’t you need to get back to work?” Alyssa asked.
“This is more important,” Drew said, and started across the yard to collect Luke.
“Nice that he puts that first,” Hayley said, sounding as if she were making an effort to be noncommittal.
“He always puts Luke first,” Alyssa said.
That was our deal, after all, she thought. And Drew kept it. Of course he did, he was Drew.
She’d made the best bargain she could, at the time. Her choices had brought them to the brink of disaster, and Drew had saved them. He’d promised them safety, a home, and to love and care for Luke as if he were his own. And he’d delivered on every one of those promises. Unlike his brother, Drew Kiley’s word was his bond, and he lived up to it.
And if things had changed, if she had changed since then, it wasn’t Drew’s fault. It was hers.
As usual.
Chapter 3
“That has got to be an interesting household,” Quinn said as they walked back to the park, taking the same shortcut through the trees, since Drew had told them it was a good mile if they went by road. Plus it offered some protection from the suddenly increased rain.
“Indeed,” Hayley said, looking back to be sure the reluctant Cutter was actually with them. The dog had been very hesitant about leaving his new playmate. “But Luke wasn’t scared. Of either of them.”
That had been her first fear, that the boy had run away to escape some kind of abuse. But the way he’d been with his mother, and his...uncle, had clearly negated that idea.
“No. Nervous about being in trouble, but not scared.” Quinn grimaced. “No love lost between those brothers, though.”
“No. Even with one of them dead. Sad.”
“He’s doing the right thing.”
“Drew? Yes, he is.” She dodged a low-hanging branch. “But I have the feeling things are going to be very interesting around there this afternoon.”
Cutter woofed, low and with emphasis.
“I know, dog,” Quinn said. “But we don’t mess in people’s private lives, buddy. Not what Foxworth does.”
The dog made another sound, one Hayley thought sounded rather disgusted.
“But if Luke had been afraid...” She was still fairly new to all the ins and outs of the Foxworth Foundation, and wasn’t sure exactly where the line was in some situations. And this situation was certainly unique. She couldn’t imagine they’d come across a family like this one, consisting of a boy and his mother, who was married to his dead father’s brother.
“We don’t do domestics,” Quinn said. “But if there was reason to suspect he was being abused, we would at least look into it and then turn it over to the right people,” Quinn said. “We’d never walk away from something like that.”
Hayley looked back once more. The trail through the trees had turned westward, and Luke’s home was now out of sight.
“I wonder what kind of argument’s going to break out next,” she said.
“Let’s just hope it’s out of that kid’s earshot,” Quinn answered.
With a sigh Hayley nodded. Then they cleared the trees and stepped back into the open space of the park. Rain was pelting them now, hard and steady.
“We’re going to get soaked,” Quinn said.
“I think that ship already sailed,” Hayley retorted.
“Guess we’ll have to go home and change clothes.”
She flicked him a glance, saw nothing but obvious innocence in his expression. For a guy who had a poker face that wouldn’t quit, she knew exactly what this meant.
“You just want my clothes off,” she accused, but laughter broke through in the middle.
“Damn straight,” he said.
“You go first,” she teased.
“My pleasure,” Quinn said, and there was so much heat and outright need in his voice she was surprised she wasn’t already steaming.
She spared another thought for Drew and Alyssa Kiley, wondering if they ever shared moments like this in their odd relationship. If she had to guess, she’d sadly say no. They didn’t have the air of a couple that was intimate at every possible moment. She wondered if they were at all, given the nature and circumstances of their being together.
And then they were in the car, Cutter loaded in the back where he promptly sprayed the interior with a hearty shake, and all she could think about was getting her man home and licking every raindrop off the body she knew so well.
* * *
Drew was thankful Alyssa didn’t seem inclined to fight with him. Maybe she was just so thankful Luke was home safe, thankful that they’d dodged a large bullet, that her relief made her more forgiving. Or maybe, as he had, she’d just learned the futility of it. All they did was go round and round in the same old rut, digging it deeper and deeper with each circuit.
More likely she just felt like he did, now that the adrenaline that had spiked when she’d called to tell him Luke was missing had begun to ebb. The thought of Luke out there, alone, lost and maybe scared, had knifed at him. That it was probably his fault had only driven that knife deeper.
He paced the living room, seeing nothing of the familiar surroundings. He’d built this house for them, done much of the labor himself, but it all meant nothing. None of his success, his work at building the business his grandfather had begun, of hanging on to it through the toughest times, and now building it again, meant anything next to the biggest job he’d ever taken on.
He worked hard at being a father. Harder than at anything in his life. It wasn’t in his nature the way it seemed to be in Alyssa’s. She was automatically loving and understanding and generous—too generous in some cases—by nature. And it was that generosity that got them into trouble. Or more accurately, his reaction to it. Because that generosity made her excuse Doug even after what he’d done. And that clawed at something buried deep inside him. Made him, to his shame, lash out every once in a while.
And if he sometimes wished for a little more of that generous understanding for himself, well, that was his problem. She’d agreed to this arrangement for Luke’s sake, because at the time she’d had little choice. She wasn’t the one who was now chafing under the terms.
She hadn’t asked him to fall in love with her.
She still loves Doug, he reminded himself. For all his sins, she
still loves him, and probably always will. It didn’t matter that he didn’t understand it, didn’t understand what she’d seen in his brother that had made her willing to throw her life away for him.
He’d long ago admitted he knew what Doug had seen in her, although he had his doubts whether his feckless little brother had seen the real woman behind the sweet face and the big, innocent blue eyes. In his more sour moments he suspected it was that innocence that had drawn Doug; it took a certain amount of innocence to be taken in by his act.
And there he was again, striking out even in his mind. Doug was dead—and hating him for what he’d done was pointless.
“We did this.”
Her voice was soft, almost a whisper from behind him. He spun around. She’d gone up with Luke to get him warm and dry, and set him up with his current favorite book. He was already reading well for his age, on to third-grade level readers, and Drew knew that was thanks to Alyssa. Not only had she read to him regularly, she’d made up a game where she’d written simple words on cards and hidden them around the room in reachable places for a child. Then she’d sent Luke off on a treasure hunt, making him tell her what words he’d found. At first Drew had thought it kind of silly, but when he’d seen the results—and heard Luke’s proud crowing when he got one right—he’d quickly changed his mind.
“Yes,” he said, his voice nearly as quiet as hers. “We did.”
“It has to stop, Drew.”
“Yes.”
“What can I do to make that easier?”
God, he hated this. She was being so reasonable, so understanding. And he felt like a fool because the only answer he had was “Stop loving my brother.”
“I’m not Luke,” he said, not quite snapping. “Don’t treat me like a six-year-old.”
“Luke,” she said sweetly, “is leaving temper tantrums behind.”
He drew back sharply. Opened his mouth, ready to truly snap this time. And stopped.
“Okay,” he said after a moment, “I had that one coming.”
“Yes.”
In an odd way, her dig pleased him. Not because it was accurate, he sheepishly admitted, but because she felt confident enough to do it. She’d been so weak, sick and scared when he’d found her four years ago, going toe to toe with him like this would have been impossible. But she was strong now, poised and self-assured. And he took a tiny bit of credit for that. She’d done the hard work. Once she’d gotten well she’d pulled herself up and found her way, but he’d given her the means, and the protection she’d needed to get it done.
“You’ve come a long way,” he said quietly.
“Because I don’t cower anymore?”
He frowned. “I never made you cower.”
For an instant she looked startled. “I never said you did.”
She crossed her arms and began to move, pacing almost the same track he had taken around the living room.
“You saved us, Drew, don’t think I don’t know that, or will ever forget it. I have come a long way, and it’s in large part because you made it possible.”
It was a pretty little speech, a sentiment she’d expressed more than once. And not so long ago it had been enough. More than enough. It had told him he’d done exactly what he’d intended. That he’d accomplished his goal. That she was stable now, strong, and he’d had a hand in that.
And it wasn’t her fault that wasn’t enough for him anymore.
“That’s what we dull, boring rocks do,” he said, using his brother’s terminology. Doug had always insisted it was a joke, but Drew had always known there was a certain amount of venom behind it. His insisting it was a joke just made Drew look touchy if he took offense. Doug had that little game down to a science.
Alyssa turned then. “There’s a lot to be said for being the rock of the family.”
Yes, she had come a long way. There was a time when she’d meant it just as Doug had, but no more. He had to give her that.
“Is there?” he asked.
“Yes. We’ve been safe, thanks to you. Back then I didn’t appreciate how important feeling safe and steady was. Now I do.”
He supposed that was something.
For a moment she just looked at him. One hand stole up to push her hair behind her right ear. She’d gotten it cut recently. He’d thought he would miss the long waves of golden blonde, but he liked this smooth shape, how it swept forward onto her cheeks, making her eyes look even bigger and bluer. He’d wondered what was behind the radical change, but had been wary to ask. Their relationship was such a minefield sometimes. She too often took a simple question as a criticism, when he never meant it that way.
But when you practically force somebody to marry you, you took what you got, he supposed.
“Thank you,” he finally said. That had to be safe enough, didn’t it?
“Thank you,” she said, “for not blaming me.”
His brows lowered in puzzlement. “Blaming you for what?”
“Luke slipping away.”
He drew back slightly. “It wasn’t your fault. He’s a smart kid, he knew when to sneak out.”
“Which brings us back to why he did it.”
Drew let out a compressed breath. “Okay. I get it. It was my fault.”
“I’m not saying that.”
“Then what are you saying?”
“I’m saying I appreciate that you don’t hold your feelings about your brother against Luke.”
“Appreciate?” What an insipid, bloodless word that suddenly seemed. “I love him like he was my own.”
“I know that,” Alyssa said in that patient way of hers that worked wonders with Luke but tended to spark his temper. “I know you love him completely. But Luke needs to know his father loved him, too.”
“His father didn’t even stick around to know him.”
“That wasn’t by his choice, Drew. You know that.”
“His choices led to everything that happened. Can’t you see—”
He cut himself off when he realized he was just repeating the exact words that had started this whole thing this morning. Just like that they were back in that circular rut. He determined to make her see, and she determined to hang on to her rose-tinted memories.
And the way things were going, they could well spend the rest of their lives there, endlessly circling.
He was going to lose her. He could feel it. What they had was a facade, a construct that had served a purpose that was now accomplished, and should be demolished before it collapsed under its own weight.
They weren’t just circling each other, they were circling the drain.
Chapter 4
“Please, Mom?”
Luke’s voice had taken on the wheedling tone that made Alyssa laugh but drove Drew nuts. But he didn’t react. He knew it was because it reminded him of Doug, who had had that perfected at Luke’s age. He hated to think there was anything of Doug in this boy he thought of as his son, although he knew there likely was. It was bad enough that he looked so much like him, but any hint that he’d inherited other things worried him.
But now he made himself chalk it up to typical six-year-old behavior and not a sign of hereditary, blatant self-absorption. And he told himself the actions of a six-year-old were not a predictor of the man Luke would become.
But he had less luck telling himself that the very thing that irritated him about that tone was what made Alyssa laugh; it reminded her of the man she’d loved. Still loved. Didn’t the fact that she still wore that damned necklace that Doug had given her prove that?
“Dad? Can I?”
“Not by yourself, if that’s what you mean,” he said.
“I should say not, young man,” Alyssa said, her tone so heartfelt in its agreement that Drew felt his irritation ebb away. Luke was just a
six-year-old boy who wanted something, not a fledgling narcissist.
“Well, you could come,” Luke said. “We can even walk on the sidewalk if you want,” he added generously.
“Well, now, there’s a selling point,” Drew said drily.
Alyssa laughed. She did so easily now, and Drew caught himself again remembering the days when she had been too ill, and too frightened for herself and her son to laugh at all.
Seems like we switched places, he thought. She’d blossomed, while he’d...retreated. He supposed he should be thankful she wasn’t the nudging, prying sort, or he’d lash out even more; a public display of his private pain wasn’t in his nature. Or hadn’t been, until lately.
Of course, maybe she wasn’t the nudging, prying sort because she didn’t care. She might appreciate him—yeah, he hated the word all right—but that didn’t mean she felt anything more.
“Please? He might be there already.”
Drew snapped himself out of his useless reverie. “Or he might not be at all,” he warned.
“He will be. I just know it.”
It wasn’t what he’d planned on doing this Saturday morning, but Drew found himself assenting anyway. He didn’t want to take any chances. Things had been peaceful, relatively, even pleasant for the last week, but they’d been kind of walking on eggshells, too.
“All right. I’ll go with you.”
He felt rather than saw Alyssa’s startled glance. Usually she was the one to give in first.
Luke crowed. “Yahoo!”
“But you’re still restricted,” Drew warned. “You stay in sight at all times, no running off on your own.”
Usually Alyssa thought his penalties a bit too strict, but she had no quibble with this one. Which told him how scared she’d been last week. She’d already been on edge, thinking somebody had been watching her. And Luke taking off had been the tipping point.
“Go get your duck boots on, a sweater, and your blue jacket,” she instructed.
The boy grimaced, but was wise enough even at six not to push his luck. He darted up the stairs.
“I can go with him,” she said when he was out of earshot.
Operation Unleashed Page 3
