Chapter 18
“It’s okay,” Hayley said as Alyssa opened the door to her. “Cutter would alert if there was anyone around. And even if someone is watching, I’m just a friend coming to visit.”
“And Baird won’t suspect a woman?”
“We can do things a man couldn’t without drawing suspicion. A guy will automatically classify us as not a threat to him. Or so Quinn says.”
“Lucky us,” Alyssa said wryly, but with a smile.
She stepped aside to let an eager Cutter past her. Then laughed as the dog greeted Hayley joyously, dancing, tail wagging, a happy little whine escaping him. “And if you’ve come mainly to visit Cutter, I understand.”
Hayley laughed as she bent to give him a thorough greeting—pets, scratches and silly talk that the dog seemed to love. “How’s my boy? Keeping things under control here, are you?”
“He’s quite something,” Alyssa said. “More personality than some people I know.”
“Yes, indeed,” Hayley said. “He’s very good company.”
“And almost eerily clever.”
“Yes, that too. And perceptive. Makes me wonder how we found people to help before he came along.”
“How did you?”
Hayley straightened, and nodded as Alyssa gestured her inside. “Mostly they found us. And they still do. Not everybody has a Cutter, sad to say.”
“But you don’t advertise or anything.”
Hayley shook her head as Alyssa closed the door behind them. “Foxworth has a reputation. And an amazing network.”
“Network?”
“Since we don’t charge a fee, and because the kind of people we help are usually the kind who are grateful for it and want to pay us back in some way, we have a network of willing helpers across the country. Some with some unique skills and knowledge, some just regular people who want to help somebody who’s in a jam like they were.”
As Hayley was taking off her jacket, Luke burst into the room at a run, clearly searching for his missing friend.
“Oh,” he said, skidding to a halt when he saw Hayley. “You’re not going to take him away, are you?” he asked anxiously.
Hayley smiled. “No, Luke. Not just yet. I think you need him for a while longer.”
Luke smiled in obvious relief. Alyssa smiled back at him.
“I can see we may need to speed up the pace on getting that dog of our own,” she said.
“Today?” Luke asked eagerly. “I mean, I’d rather have Cutter, but he’s hers, and Quinn’s, and I know they wouldn’t want to give him up because I know how much I’ll miss him, so I need my own.”
Hayley laughed. “Makes perfect sense.”
“Probably not today, honey, but soon,” Alyssa said.
“Maybe Dad can take me. He said we should get one from the shelter, one who didn’t have a home, or any people who love him.”
Alyssa nodded, her throat suddenly a bit tight. “He’s good at that,” she said softly.
“Where is Drew, by the way?” Hayley asked, looking at her as if she understood completely. Which would be an accomplishment, Alyssa thought, since she didn’t understand a darn thing herself.
“He had to go in to the office for a couple of hours, but he’ll be back early this evening. He only felt he could leave at all because Liam’s here, so thank you for that.”
“No problem,” Hayley said. “It’s what we do. And I know Liam’s been enjoying it.” She smiled at Luke. “He likes you.”
“I like him, too,” Luke said. “He plays silly.”
“Now there’s a recommendation if ever I heard one,” Hayley said with a grin, and Alyssa had the feeling Liam was going to get teased about that one.
Luke turned to the dog and said eagerly, “Let’s go outside, Cutter, so we can play.”
They watched boy and dog race toward the back door.
“Liam’s already out there?” Hayley asked.
“Yes. He did a...perimeter check, he said? But he wanted to stay outside while it was dry.”
“That’s all right, then.”
Alyssa didn’t miss the inference, that Liam was outside so Luke would be safe. She hated that their lives had degenerated to this, that her son couldn’t make a move without them having to worry about his safety so intensely. But she was even more grateful that, thanks to Cutter and the engaging Texan, Luke was blissfully unaware.
“I think sometimes Liam misses the Texas heat,” Hayley said, watching as Luke yanked open the back door, ready to race outside at top six-year-old speed.
Then he stopped, looking back at Hayley as if he’d just thought of something. “Maybe you need to find a little boy who needs a home. Like me. So Cutter will have somebody to play with, too.”
Then he darted outside, leaving Hayley laughing, and Alyssa feeling a little tug of emotion; she hadn’t realized Luke had been so aware that he had needed a home. She swallowed hard, and glanced at Hayley.
“He has a point,” she said.
“I suppose he does,” Hayley said, a touch of color in her cheeks.
“Kids in the game plan?”
“Yes,” Hayley said, her color deepening, but a smile—a soft, loving smile—curving her mouth. “Quinn will be a great father.”
“Yes.”
“As Drew is.”
Alyssa sighed. “Yes. He is.”
“He loves Luke.”
“Completely.”
Hayley looked as if she were about to say something more, but apparently changed her mind. Alyssa wasn’t sure if she was glad, or disappointed. She offered a cup of the coffee Drew had put on this morning, and Hayley accepted with a smile. She definitely liked this woman, Alyssa thought as they walked to the kitchen. And realized she had missed having friends.
“That’s a sad expression,” Hayley said as she accepted the mug Alyssa had prepared to her liking, and sat with her at the small table in the breakfast nook.
“Just thinking how long it’s been since I’ve done something like this. Meaning never.”
“Had coffee with a friend?” Hayley asked.
That Hayley considered them friends, even after such a short time, warmed her. And made her feel free to speak without fear of being judged. Not everyone was like her mother, after all.
“Had a friend,” she said frankly. “I haven’t wanted to see anyone I knew before, old friends, not after my life became such a mess. I mean, I was a walking cliché, good girl gone bad, all for a boy. And I’ve been so wrapped up in Luke since we got here that I haven’t had time, or taken the time, to make new ones.”
“Some of those old friends might surprise you,” Hayley said.
“Maybe.”
“It must have been rough in the beginning, coming back here.”
“In the beginning I was still too weak to care. I’d been so sick, and I was so worried about Luke. I was terrified I’d never get him back, that he’d grow up in foster care, because I’d gotten sick.”
“I can’t imagine.”
“And then Drew rode in, the proverbial knight in shining armor. He saved us both.”
“And brought you back here.”
She nodded. “Drew made all the decisions then, and I was glad of it. I was just too scattered.”
“But when you got better?”
She smiled. “I had to convince him I was well enough to deal, before he’d give some of those decisions back to me.”
“But he did. Some men wouldn’t.”
“Drew’s not one of them. He’s never tried to control me, not really.”
“Some might say marrying him was a bit extreme.”
She shrugged. “They weren’t there. He was right, it was the quickest way to get Luke back, get him out of foster care.
He was such a straight arrow, running a business, not even a traffic ticket on his record, and besides, he was Luke’s uncle by blood. They jumped at it.”
“I’m sure they’re overloaded.”
“Yes. But it could have taken forever if he hadn’t stepped in.”
“And you’ve stayed.”
Alyssa stared down into her coffee mug. She didn’t want to bruise this new relationship by not answering, but how could she when she didn’t really know the answer herself?
“I’m sorry,” Hayley said. “That’s really none of my business.”
“No,” Alyssa said, afraid she’d offended her new friend. “It’s all right. It’s a good question. And I don’t have an answer, not really. Except...” She let out a compressed breath. “Doug promised me the moon, a really good life, had lots of grandiose plans, but it never happened. Drew never promised anything, he just did it.”
For a moment Hayley didn’t say anything. She took another sip of coffee, set the mug down, then finally spoke. “There are some men who won’t even take responsibility for their own kids, let alone someone else’s.”
“I know.”
“Fortunately, there are a lot more of the other kind. The good guys. They’re just...quiet about it.”
“Like your Quinn?” she asked with a smile.
Hayley nodded. “And your Drew.”
Your Drew.
It was startling, the little jump her heart made at those words. She knew in some senses it was true. He would do anything for Luke, and making her happy made her son happy, so it followed that he would do just about anything for her. And in fact, had. She’d never really done without much, since he’d taken them in. In that way, he’d treated her as if their marriage was real. He’d built this house, he’d consulted her every step of the way in designing it, turned the furnishing over to her, asking only that she consult him in turn. He’d built Luke a play fort that would be the envy of any kid, and had spent hours helping the boy learn to ride a bike.
But he wasn’t hers in the sense that Quinn was Hayley’s. He wasn’t hers in that intimate, inextricable way of genuine lovers committed to each other.
She felt a tug of longing, wondering what it would be like. She’d had a chance, maybe, back in the beginning. Once she’d been well, strong again, what she supposed had been inevitable had happened. Drew was young, strong, healthy, with the appetites of any man. And she’d felt she owed him, but had no way to pay him back.
Except one.
She had made the first move, knowing instinctively that he would not. He’d been surprised, reminded her this wasn’t part of their agreement. She’d pressed on, until she’d sensed him give in.
And then she was surprised. Surprised by his gentleness, his patience, the time he took. By how he lingered—touching, stroking, kissing—in a way Doug never had.
And she’d been amazed at her own response. Her body seemed to sing at his touch, in a way that frightened her. She loved Doug so how could she respond this way to his stuffy big brother? Some part of her pleasure-numbed brain had acknowledged the fundamental difference. Doug took, Drew gave.
But she’d felt so guilty afterwards. Guilty because it had been better for her than she would have ever thought possible. Guilty because she’d betrayed Doug. And that he was dead and she—and Drew—were very much alive didn’t ease it much. The only thing that would have eased her guilt would be if it had been awful. Not glorious.
And Drew sensed it. She’d fallen apart and run from him, like the silly child she’d still been.
An image formed in her mind, painfully vivid. Drew, standing in the doorway of the room she’d retreated to, sobbing. Still naked and strong and beautiful—she couldn’t deny that—he’d stared at her.
“Don’t ever do that again,” he had said, his voice a tight, low, harsh thing. “I don’t want or need your charity.”
“I... It wasn’t charity.”
“No? Then it was in payment for charity, is that it?”
That had been close enough to the truth that she couldn’t hide it.
“I don’t need that, either,” he had said flatly. “You don’t owe me a damned thing, Alyssa. Doing this was my decision.”
He’d left her there, a mass of conflict, her insides churning in confusion. She’d hurt him when that had been the last thing she’d wanted. She felt as if she had betrayed Doug, and for a moment had wished she’d died with him.
Except for Luke.
And it was the thought of her son, safe and loved, and already starting to blossom under Drew’s steady care, that made her quash her own roiled emotions. She had no right to them, she told herself. Luke had to and would come first. And that meant she would do as Drew demanded.
She would stay away from him. And she had, except for a weak moment after he’d insisted on the alarm system to help keep them safe. That time had been different, at least Drew had been different after. Not angry this time, but almost sad. And she wasn’t sure what had changed.
Still she had wondered what it might have been like if she hadn’t fallen apart after that first time. Wondered if she had missed a chance at something. The chance to change everything. And if she would forever regret it.
And as confused, tangled, and chaotic as she was at that moment, it turned out she had been right.
Chapter 19
“What did they used to call this kind of—what did they say, ‘arrangement’?” Quinn asked.
“I believe it was a ‘marriage of convenience.’”
“Darned inconvenient if you’re right, and now he’s in love with her.”
“He admitted it to me,” Hayley said. “She hasn’t, but I think I’m right anyway.”
“You usually are,” he said, earning the smile he’d wanted.
He watched her as she went back to what she’d been doing, looking over the guest list for the wedding in the few minutes before the Kileys were to arrive. He’d been a little amazed at the rate of RSVPs saying they were coming, and had the rueful feeling they should have invited fewer to begin with. Not that they’d been in control of that, of course.
“You sure you don’t want to call it all off and elope?” she asked, not for the first time.
“As long as it happens, I don’t much care how,” he said. “But you deserve the big day.”
“I just want to deserve you,” she said.
Quinn shook his head slowly, one corner of his mouth lifting slightly in that bemused smile that appeared every time he thought about the wonder his life had become. He never in a million years would have guessed when that scamp of a dog had burst out of the trees that his life was about to be changed forever.
“Besides,” she added, “Charlie.”
Quinn sighed. “Yeah. Charlie.” Then he grinned. “Hey, be thankful Charlie’s not planning it. We’d have to rent the county fairgrounds.”
Hayley grinned back. “They have horses there, don’t they? We could escape on horseback.”
God, he loved this woman.
He was still kissing her when the sound of tires on the gravel drive—kept gravel for just that reason—announced that the Kileys had arrived. With a sigh Quinn released her.
They got downstairs just as Luke and Cutter bounded out of the backseat. The dog made a beeline to them, greeting Quinn first, which was unusual.
“He just saw me yesterday,” Hayley said, reading Quinn’s expression perfectly, as usual. “You he hasn’t seen in a couple of days.”
“He’s been a godsend,” Alyssa said. “For more reasons than one.”
Quinn guessed that she meant the dog had been a distraction for Luke, keeping him from realizing what was really going on.
“He makes himself useful,” Quinn agreed.
“And then some,” Hayley added as Cutter
nudged her hand to get his ear-scratch.
“He’s the best,” Luke exclaimed as he ran up. His smile shifted quickly to a doubtful look. “I don’t think we’ll find a dog as good.”
“He’ll be different, just like your friend Dylan is different than Tran,” Drew said.
“But he’ll be yours,” Alyssa said. “And that will make him just as good.”
Admittedly, he didn’t know much about kids, but it seemed to Quinn that Drew and Alyssa made a good team dealing with Luke. Whatever their differences, they seemed to pull together when it came to the boy.
“I talked to Laney,” Hayley said. “She’s got a couple of dogs in mind. She offered to have them at the shop for Luke to come visit, when you’re ready.”
“He’ll want them both,” Drew said drily.
Hayley grinned. “She guessed that. That’s why she said one at a time. And it will save you going to the shelter, where he might just want all of them.”
“I like her already,” Alyssa said.
“Teague found a good one,” Quinn agreed.
“Or rather, Cutter found him one, from what he told us,” Alyssa added with a laugh.
“He does have a way,” Hayley said, echoing the laugh.
The dog was watching and listening, his gaze shifting to everyone that spoke, as if he were actually following the conversation. If it were any animal but Cutter, Quinn would have said he was simply reacting to the occasional mention of his name, and the word dog. But he was long past making assumptions like that about this dog.
Just as he glanced down at him, Cutter’s head snapped around, and the dog stared down the driveway. Quinn watched him for a second or two, then relaxed. The dog’s head and ears were up, and his tail wagged. A staccato, two-note bark came from him.
“Liam,” Hayley said.
“That’s the bark,” Quinn agreed.
“Wait,” Drew said. “He’s got different barks for different people?”
“Well, Liam and Teague have to share one. Rafe gets his own.”
“And you two, I presume,” Alyssa said, laughing again. She really was quite lovely, Quinn thought, when she was laughing and smiling instead of worried and tense.
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