by Allison Rios
Closing her eyes, she wished for the world to swallow them both up and send them to eternity together. She could see them both on the ground as she let her mind leave her body. She and AJ, stretched out in a perfect cross shape on the soft grass as she swirled higher and higher up into the sky and through the branches, breaking through to the radiance of the sunset. That was what she had always wanted; to share every sunset with him.
Her sobs lightened to a choked whisper and weary eyes opened once again to AJ. She used her strength to roll onto her side, bringing her free hand down on top of his.
“Take me with you,” she whispered, the words shattering her very soul.
She felt a wave of selfishness rush over her for not caring in that very moment about leaving Rose.
Rose needed a mother. Addie had first-hand experience in needing a mother’s love, but she couldn’t help but think that the anguish over AJ would end if she could just be with him, wherever he was.
The flow of tears picked up again. Her stomach warped into knots and she heard a sob escape Max’s lips behind her.
A strained gasp forced her eyes to open. AJ’s body twitched as though life had just rushed back into him.
He let go of her arm, curling into a ball as pain surged throughout his body. Every punch, every blow from Devin coming alive again in memory. It all flashed through his mind: the fight; Addie being thrown; AJ stopping Max from healing him. His mind was searching for a truth, an answer as to whether she was still alive. His eyes wouldn’t open to let him see, no matter how hard he tried. He had no control over his body. His muscles flexed and stretched as his body writhed on the ground. Addie watched in horror, unable to move towards him and in shock that he was moving at all.
Max watched from behind her in stunned silence. On hands and knees he crawled around her shaking silhouette to his friend, pulling AJ into his arms and keeping the Healer secure.
AJ’s body thrashed against Max’s hold but the older man held tight with brute strength. The adrenaline had kicked in for him as well and his body felt stronger than it had been for years because of it.
Fingers clenched into fists as AJ continued to writhe. Outward appearances looked as though he were being brutalized from the inside out, but his mind focused on the exact opposite. His body was healing itself from the inside out, inch by inch and organ by organ. His ultimate sacrifice had made him stronger, fiercer, and more revered. It unleashed strength from within that was only allowed to the highest of all Healers.
His eyes snapped open and instantly found Max’s. He blinked, allowing the light to reset his vision before a crooked smile surfaced on his dirty – but now barely wounded – face.
While it felt like hours, only mere seconds of silence passed before everyone came around to what they’d just experienced. After the month it had been, with all the strangeness that had occurred, Addie thought she would be immune to anything further that seemed out of the ordinary. This proved her wrong. She was still in as much shock seeing all of this unfold as she had been watching AJ heal Rose.
AJ’s attention immediately shifted to Addie, his head snapping towards where he remembered her to be. Without words, he rolled out of Max’s grip and pulled himself across the ground to her, scooping her up into his arms. He was breathless. He felt no need to breathe until he was sure Addie was alright. He searched her eyes to see how badly she might still be hurt. Once in his arms her strength let go and she melted into his grip. Ecstatic sobs escaped from her lips and she found enough resolve to wrap her arms around him and hold onto him as though she were climbing a cliff with no safety gear. He was her harness.
His hands, strong and warm, brushed the hair back out of her face. His eyes scanned every inch of her to be sure she was okay, realizing how badly she had been hurt if, after having given her everything he had left in him, she was still this weak.
He rested his hand against her face and she nestled her cheek into his palm, basking in the joy she felt in the moment. Her heart beat in the steady rhythm of a drum and she alternated between smiles and cries.
“I’m here,” he whispered to her, pulling her head to his chest. “I’m not going anywhere. You okay?”
She felt the warmth rush over her as he pushed his strength into her. The bruises faded without delay, each cut sealing itself and disappearing with no trace that a gash had existed in the first place.
He let go of her head for her to turn her gaze to him. She shook her head yes, still unable to form words.
Together they rocked on the soft carpet of grass, watching the sun set on the horizon. It was the first of what they hoped would be many to come.
2 ANEW
Healers had long since scattered, heading back to their respective homes and to whatever normalcy they had built into everyday living. While the day’s battle had been the most radical event that most of them would ever encounter, it was also one that would only be recorded in their clan’s history and not spoken of in the future. Silence kept the world turning in a sweet naivety.
A deafening silence overtook the trio as they stood alone in the meadow. Only the sound of the wind howling through vacant spaces between leaves trickled through their ears. Night descended quickly upon them. The task at hand seemed less appealing than ever, but the reverence Healers held for all human life always triumphed. While Devin had been an evil person bent on destroying lives, the Healers were bound by a code of respect which said that every life was sacred, despite how it may start or end.
Devin’s darkly shrouded body lay still in death just yards from where AJ and Addie had collapsed. The Grim’s chest no longer heaved up and down in the familiar pattern that echoed his angst-ridden life. His black eyes locked open in shock from an unanticipated death which had taken him over so quickly. He hadn’t had time to be anything more than aghast at the sight of the end. His black clothes lay torn and bloodied against skin of the same, their only movement at the will of the wind.
For the first time since she’d known him, his lips were still. Without hateful and antagonizing words filling up the space around him, he almost seemed kind and human – although Addie knew better.
With that in mind, the two men fought to push aside their hatred for Devin long enough to carry out their ancient duties. AJ and Max carefully cut a rectangle of grass out near the base of a tree that overlooked the sunset, digging out the mud from underneath with shovels stored in the back of Addie’s truck.
The shovels had originally been tucked away in the pickup by AJ himself, sure that Max would be burying him and Devin after the fight.
They cleaned Devin off and cautiously placed him in the ground before sealing one of the thousands of unknown, unremembered burial places for a Grim throughout the earth. Kneeling down and placing a muddy hand on the earth, AJ willed the grass to grow. Rose bushes popped up, one by one, amongst the greenery, creating a solemn resting place and makeshift headstone. Both men paused and whispered prayers that had been handed down by their ancestors since the beginning of time.
Addie stood in awe. A momentary surge of anger welled up inside her as she begged herself not to slap both men, for what might be mistaken as a betrayal to her. Devin had tried to kill her. He’d tried to kill AJ. And yet here they were, ensuring a proper burial for him. She simply couldn’t fathom the rationale behind this. She wanted only to see Devin hurt as much as she had. With him gone, that would never be possible.
“What are we gonna tell people?” Addie whispered. Her throat ached of dryness.
“That he left town.” AJ stood stone faced, no emotion evident at all.
“This suddenly?” she retorted.
“Yeah, this suddenly. Max, you’ll need to stop by his house and clean it out later, without anyone seeing you. Figure you’d be best for that. I can create some sort of distraction in town. I’ll make sure I’m seen.”
“Sure,” Max replied.
The Healer stretched his arms back behind him. The years were starting to catch up now.
“Addie, you need to go on back to town. Don’t say anything. If someone asks, you just say you had a nice time, but Devin said he had to leave and move on. Can you do that?”
AJ raised a hand to her face, brushing the hair back behind an ear and over the remaining scratch on her cheek. As his fingers ran across it, the mark disappeared into non-existence.
“I wish I could make the past few hours disappear,” he whispered to her. “Every minute of it.” Extraordinary events like Devin’s death were not meant to be seen or remembered by humans.
“I don’t,” she replied.
Her hand reached up to cover his and hold it in place on her face. It was the safest she’d felt in a long time.
“You almost died for me. I don’t want to forget that. I want to remember that and spend every day of my life making it up to you.”
“You don’t have anything to make up to me. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.” And will probably have to at some point, he thought.
With eyes closed she inhaled deeply. Without sight, the others senses were heightened and she simply wanted to feel him in that moment, to feel his hands on her skin and the warmth of his breath.
The most beautiful woman he’d ever seen stood inches in front of him. Her long eyelashes lay flush against her skin and a pink blush flashed across her cheeks. Her beauty wasn’t new; he’d looked at her the same way a thousand times before. He’d never wanted her more, though.
He brushed his fingers gently against her skin before losing all willpower. He’d spent months holding back, running the scenarios through his mind. He’d already broken every rule in place and did so with many Healers present; it would not be long before his power would be gone.
With disregard for everything he’d been taught, he pulled her to him and lifted her enough to bring their lips together. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her eyes still closed as though if she opened them, the entire moment would be revealed as a dream.
He wrapped his arms around her, careful not to hold her too tightly. One arm around her back and the other in her hair, they silhouetted against the rising moon in a perfect, photographic moment.
Max understood, yet couldn’t watch. He knew AJ’s potential and had read long ago about one Healer strong enough to change the world. He believed AJ to be that Healer. As much as he wanted his friend’s happiness, he also stood amongst the man he believed to be throwing it all away.
As AJ set Addie down, their lips slowly parted and a smile washed across Addie’s lips.
“You have to go now,” AJ said. “I’ll meet you back in town in a little while.”
She opened her eyes and cocked her head to the side. Was this a one-time only event, she wondered?
“I’m coming back to you,” he reassured her. “To you and Rose.”
She’d heard the words and yet wasn’t convinced. She couldn’t be sure she’d ever be convinced. A wave of doubt swept through her as she turned to step up into the truck. AJ shut the door for her and leaned in the open window.
“Addie, I am coming home to you,” he whispered as he gently kissed her forehead. “That is my choice.”
She drove the truck back into town as Max and AJ stayed behind. In a small town with big talk, the entire community undoubtedly knew about Addie’s date. Coming back with Max and AJ – and with Devin never to be heard from again – would cause a rumor mill they weren’t ready for.
As Addie’s truck pulled down the path, the men watched the trail of dust lit up by the rising moon. They waited in silence by Max’s car, neither knowing how to start a conversation at that point. Max broke the silence first.
“You okay?”
“I’m okay.”
“You still hurt?”
AJ stretched his arms over head and twisted his torso back and forth.
“Nah. Nothing is sore. I don’t know how it happened, but everything healed.”
“It means you’re on your way to being an elder. The strongest of the strong. The wisest of the wise.”
AJ shook his head at Max.
“I’m not sure I want that anymore.”
“AJ.”
“Max, I’ve broken the rules already. There’s really no decisions to be made now, is there? It’s all said and done.”
“There are always choices, AJ.”
“I choose her. I want to be with her.”
“AJ, I didn’t want to say this. I didn’t want to be the one to force anything on you. But here it is: you were meant for something greater.”
“Maybe I’m meant to be something greater to her.”
“And maybe you’re meant to be the one Healer who will change the world.”
“Max, let it be.”
“Now it’s my turn, so shut up kid,” Max shot back. “Sometimes life isn’t about your decisions. Sometimes life chooses for you. That’s what happened here today. All men and women have to make sacrifices. You see the incredible lengths Addie goes to in order to raise Rose. She has given up a lot to be a mother. But she does it for the good of her child. You have that same opportunity here, although I will give you that it is on a much greater scale. I love Addie, too, and I don’t want to see her hurt any more than you do. But this isn’t something you can ignore, AJ. It’s not like if you go with her, you’re giving up the chance to be CEO of some big-time company. You’re giving up the ability to change the entire world, in whatever way that’s meant to happen. You’re giving up the ability to change so many lives. Look at you – you shouldn’t be as strong as you are right now, but you are. And it’s because you were meant for something more.”
“And what if I don’t want it?”
It was the first time in a very long time that AJ had considered just walking away. The more Max spoke about this new strength and being an elder, the guiltier AJ felt about wanting to give it up.
“Don’t you think I am questioning this? Who am I to tell destiny no? There’s no grand nomination to be an elder. All of this – all of it – is based on feelings. Based on writings from so long ago that no one who originally wrote them is still alive. Am I just supposed to say, ‘Oh, Max thinks I could be the great one, but he’s not sure so let me give up the one chance I have to be happy,” only to find out another hundred years down the road that was it?’”
“AJ, I understand how you’re feeling.”
“Stop the bullshit Max! You have no idea what I’m feeling, because no one has ever tried to force this decision on you. You had the opportunity to make up your own mind. I want them to take my gift, Max. I’m selfish. If you think I don’t know that people are going to die because of my choice, I’m well aware. I’m going to watch people around me suffer and I’m going to have to live with the fact that I could have made the choice to help them. But Healers do it all the time. Why should I feel like I’m the only one that doesn’t actually have a choice in it?”
It wouldn’t be his choice anyway, AJ thought. He had healed Addie and the removal of his gift was not supposed to be his decision. He had already healed Rose, too. Despite ending the chaos brought by Devin, the elders wouldn’t see it as a wash. AJ had broken the rules and he doubted they’d be willing to stretch them for him, regardless of how the universe felt by giving him these new powers.
“They’re going to come and take it all away, AJ. I can already feel the presence of elders.”
“I figured,” AJ sighed, slightly relieved.
Soon, the entire conversation would no longer be an issue. His fate would be decided for him.
“How long until they get here?”
“I doubt it will be long. News travels fast among our ranks. They were informed about the battle. I can already feel them. I’m sure they want to be here now at the end. Probably a few hours.”
AJ’s eyes locked on the ground. He couldn’t say he was devastated. When he had kissed Addie, it had been the most alive he had felt in years. He had basked in the way he felt her warmth straight through to his soul. Nothing had ever brought that type of adrenalin
e flowing through his body and he wanted more.
“We better get going back then,” he said. “Helen and Matthew will wonder why a bunch of strangers are showing up to see me.”
“Are you going to persuade them to let you keep this new strength? Your gift?” Max pressed. He wasn’t giving up on AJ, even if the young Healer already had.
“Don’t make me choose between you and her, Max. You won’t win. I can never repay you for all you’ve done for me, Max. But I will choose her if I have the opportunity.”
AJ seemed to be convincing himself more than anyone else.
“Just listen to me,” the older Healer said, grasping AJ’s arms and forcing the young man to stop. “AJ, you have something special. More than me and all the other Healers you met today combined. You risked everything to save people, without the expectation of kudos or a parade or a thank you. You’ve been chosen to serve a higher purpose than the rest of us. You walked away from this because you are meant to do more.”
“I was meant to do more for her. You fell in love once, Max. You know what happens and how that feels. You know how hard it is to pass that up. Two days ago you wanted me to choose her after all of this was said and done. And now you’re changing your mind?”
“Two days ago I knew what a great person you were. I just didn’t know how much greater your purpose would become. I’d suspected it, yes, but I wasn’t sure until today. Very, very few of us are chosen for this life AJ and you were. You were chosen to eventually guide us all.”
AJ paused at the thought. He had gone into today’s fight sure he wouldn’t make it out and resolved to this fact. He had been prepared to lay down his life because it meant saving those he loved. His skin had bristled as Devin made his taunts, learning how much stronger Devin was than him. He had been worried he would lose and his heart had never ached as much as in those moments when he felt a slight doubt about his ability to overcome Devin. Until he’d seen Addie.
