by Allison Rios
“This will explain it all,” she whispered. “Most importantly my grandson, is that you remember we are more alike than most people are. You will understand. You were born for greatness and that is something people as weak as your father cannot comprehend or accept. You will rise above this and go on to greatness.”
He looked at the envelope with longing eyes, wanting to tear the yellowing paper to reveal the contents. Her eyes warned him not to.
“Not here. You must go, my boy, before they return and find you here with me. I know you’re watching us; I can feel you. One day though, you must move on and begin to live your life. The life you were destined for. We are weak, but you are strong. Remember that.”
“I will,” he whispered back.
He leaned down to kiss her wrinkled forehead and she squeezed his hand back with all the strength she could muster – which wasn’t much.
“I love you, Grandmother.”
“And I love you. Now go.”
As he approached her door he no longer had the need for anything else from this home until he saw the duffle bag hanging on the hook near the door. His mother had made it for him. He grabbed it and darted from the porch before he began missing anything else. He wanted to be new, his own person earning his own belongings.
He sat in the trees awaiting their return, as he always did. He watched as his mother, father, and siblings descended from the carriage and proceeded into the house. He saw his mother glance around nervously. She did this every single time he saw her outside of the house. She always seemed to be watching as if he might bolt out of the shadows and beg to be taken back in. Or perhaps she was simply scared of him. A fear lingered in her eyes at all times and he could never figure out if it was a fear of him or for him. His siblings acted as if he’d never existed, not even a hint of sadness in their eyes. Perhaps, he thought, that hurt the worst.
It was shortly after that day that his grandmother passed. Not long after that his mother succumbed to her grief and passed as well. He hadn’t dared to open the envelope yet. As they shoveled the last bit of dirt over his mother’s grave he lowered from his perch on one of the branches he was looking down from and removed the now-tattered envelope from a tattered vest pocket.
Tearing the edge slowly, he unveiled the letter from within. The page contained words written in the same wobbly scrawl which had graced the front. He’d treasure that writing forever, as it remained the last verification he’d had that someone had loved him.
He unfolded it carefully, as though it might disintegrate at any moment and began reading in the early noon light that shone high above him. For such a sad day, it was one of pure beauty, nature-wise.
“My dearest grandson,
Your father is right about only one thing – you are very, very different from the rest of them. Only it isn’t an evil difference, as he believes. It is an irony of sorts that he feels the way you saved him is evil.
He doesn’t understand and for that, you must learn to forgive him. He is merely a man; a man of only one layer. He should not be held responsible for not being privy to a secret you and I hold.
You are like me, sweet grandson. A Healer. The moment your father rushed in the door, his shirt riddled with blood and his eyes wild with fear, I knew that one of two things had happened; you had been killed or he had been healed. As he tore off his shirt to examine his scar more closely, I was sure. I was also sure of what the future would bring for this family. They don’t understand and my hands are too old and feeble to write it all out for you.
If you head due northwest from here by horseback, in two days time you will come upon a Native American tribe. They are peaceful friends of mine from the past. Show them the marking you bear upon your neck and they will guide you, as they did for me so very long ago. They will explain it all to you, my boy, and you will find your tranquility.
Know that I love you dearly and I know what a good person you truly are. I will guide you from the heavens and will forever be on your side. Be well, be strong, and be safe. And always remember first and foremost, be yourself.
Love,
Grandmother”
He reached around and felt the back of his neck. There had never been a marking. At least none that had been spoken of. Yet as his fingers ran over his tanned skin he felt it – a small circle of raised flesh. The scar that would serve as a constant reminder, just as his father’s would. Although the scars were very different, they both represented a new life for those they adorned.
He read through the words once more and tucked the letter into his vest. With the medallion around his neck and his grandmother’s soul to guide him, he embarked upon the first day of the rest of his life.
5 FORGIVE
AJ didn’t leave the stairs the night before. The exhaustion which should have overwhelmed his body after the intense encounter with Devin seemed now merely a fleeting thought. He watched with attentiveness the darkness of Addie’s home. AJ unconvincingly repeated to himself over and over through forced whispers that the purpose remained ensuring her safety – although no threat loomed. Every once in awhile the nagging reality would utter the truth; he wanted to see her.
Not one light had turned on all night. As the moon rose higher over the horizon and the darkest nightfall in memory descended upon the quiet town, the house became eerily silent and still. AJ remained motionless, his concentration focused and his body holding position with the fear that even the slightest change would vanish all willpower from his soul and leave him bounding through her front door.
Helen and Matthew cautiously watched the boy they’d come to love as their son, their hearts breaking at the thought of his pain. He had no visible wounds left. Both Helen and Matthew knew that the worst of the pain involved something broken on the inside – something they knew from experience was often the hardest to heal.
Seeing AJ downtrodden reminded Helen all too much of her lost little boy. The memory sent a shiver of panic through her as she questioned how close she came to losing another.
“Max,” she whispered in a trembling voice from the doorway of the kitchen, her eyes never lifting from the broken man on her porch. “What happened to him?”
The former Healer took a deep breath, his darkened eyes closing in a silent prayer for forgiveness as yet another lie eased across his lips. Over the years, one of the most basic and steadfast rules he’d been taught as a child came to be one he broke so easily and without regret. Until today. Today, the regret seeped in and stung like saltwater to a wound.
“He’s okay.”
“He’s not okay,” she nearly growled back, Matthew’s grip tightening around her arms.
Helen, though a kind and gentle soul, turned into a fierce lioness when it came to one of her cubs regardless of who might be on the receiving end of the verbal assault.
“That boy is broken. He left here today and I found his bag packed and a note to me on the bed. I won’t look at it, but I know that whatever reason he left it wasn’t good. Now he comes home like this.”
“He’ll be okay. In time. Addie had an accident.”
“Oh my,” Helen gasped as a frightful thought that Addie might be gone flitted through her mind. It seemed the logical explanation for the blaringly obvious pain in AJ’s soul.
“Is she? You know?” She couldn’t bring herself to say it.
“No, no,” Max replied with a half-sincere smile that did little to ease her fear. “She’s going to be fine. But she’s lost her memory.”
“She’ll get it back,” Helen said assuredly, mostly to convince herself.
“They don’t think so.” Max had no desire to crush Helen’s hope, but wanted as little pain as possible to encompass the little group. The less hope he thought, the more everyone might leave AJ alone about it.
“Really?”
“Really,” he replied. “It was pretty bad. And AJ feels like he’s brought this all upon her by coming here.”
“It wasn’t his fault, was it?”
&nbs
p; “No,” Max sighed. “But we’ll never convince him of that.”
“The boy can’t carry around that burden.”
“No. But he’s a big freak about karma and all that. And in his heart, he believes that he’s brought this all to her.”
“She’ll come around. And he can reintroduce himself to her, right? She might not remember him, but I’ve seen the way they look at each other. That’s not something a person can forget. She’ll remember. He’s planning on talking to her, right?” Helen whispered, connecting the dots leading right up to the end of the story. “He’s not just going to let her go is he?”
“He feels like he has to, Helen. Let’s not make this harder for him. He’s made the decision. He’s out there trying to make his own way in coming to terms with it. When he has, he’ll let us know.”
“But then he’ll go, Max. He’ll pack up and leave Lee and we won’t see him again.”
Max looked up to see the tears making their way down the hills and valleys of her wrinkled cheeks. No decision from here on out and no path traveled would lead to any less suffering for the people involved. No magic existed that would reverse what loomed in the distance. If they stayed, AJ’s suffering would border on unbearable, for even the strongest Healers were vulnerable to their feelings. And if they left, there would be broken hearts of another kind in the form of two guardians who’d loved them all dearly. The entire scenario was an experience Max had hoped long ago to never relive and one he feared would probably happen again and again over the course of his lifetime.
AJ heard their whispers and while he couldn’t make out each word, he knew each one was thickly coated in pity. Every breath that launched down deep into his lungs caused his heart to race a little faster until the breaths grew wilder and more furious. His battered fingers loosened their grip on the splintering wooden stairs and balled into fists, his eyes shutting with sheer determination not to scream out the anger that was burning like fire in his chest. He stood up and launched immediately into a jog which built into a full out sprint, his mind willing his legs to take him faster and further away. The cuts – which had slowly begun to heal as his strength had begun to return – tore open again, exposing the raw muscle beneath his skin.
The pain wasn’t enough to stop him though; it fueled him, an energizing keepsake of everything he’d gone through and given up in the course of the last twenty-four hours. His feet left the roadway as his body healed, and thrust him into the brush before propelling him deep into the trees. He dodged the stumps that could be made out in the minimal light from the moon, which shifted overhead and signified for him the length of his run. Hours maybe.
His shin slammed into the rock-hard wood, a tree downed by storms perhaps decades ago. He felt – and heard – the bone shatter and yet no pain accompanied a break that would reduce a normal man to agony. The broken bone sealed itself before he even stood up fully again just moments later. He was stronger than he’d thought.
He ran and ran until he found himself full circle back at the B&B. Then, somewhere in the night, he fell asleep right there on the stairs. A creamy moon hung overhead, larger and fuller than he’d ever seen it, fighting the darkness away. It was the last thing he remembered before sleep settled into his body.
He awoke to the sound of the roosters in the morning and almost seemed shocked by it. After all that had happened, he hadn’t contemplated that outside of him, Max, and Addie, the world would have continued on as normal. The roosters hadn’t known the town had nearly been overtaken. Helen and Matthew didn’t know that for all intents and purposes, AJ ceased to exist to the person she’d been just hours ago.
And AJ would know all too well how painful it was to try and fall out of love with someone.
He had run all the scenarios through his head. If he stayed to continue to protect her, it wouldn’t be long before he’d need to leave. A man can only look twenty-five for so long before people start to become suspicious. Perhaps in a big city it would be less noticeable what with the plastic surgery and constant need for youthful appearances. But here in Lee, the world moved at a much slower pace and no one had plastic surgery. The only doctor in town was known for his stitch jobs – and not because they turned out well. The scars were nearly a personal branding he left on his patients, though no one ever got mad. He just wasn’t born to suture and no one in Lee was going anywhere of importance, anyway.
Eventually he’d have to walk away. He’d have to either watch in the background, taking trips to other cities or towns to use his gift and keep living, or he’d have to leave entirely.
If he left now, he could maybe leave Max as a liaison. Max would fit in, aging now as everyone else did. He could report back, signaling AJ to return if the need arose. Max could look after Helen and Matthew in between AJ’s visits and the young Healer wouldn’t have to watch Addie continue on with life as if he’d never existed. He was leaning towards the latter.
He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, content with the decision he’d made. After she woke up and he could be assured she was okay, he’d throw his already packed bag in the trunk and head out of Lee for what would be the last time.
It was then that he caught a glimpse of her. The silhouette in the kitchen curtains pouring a cup of coffee and stretching out as though she’d been asleep forever. In a way, she had.
He watched the figure carefully, moving this way and that. He could tell she was rooting in the cupboards, more than likely trying to find something to munch on as she went to work.
It wasn’t long before she bounded out the door and down the steps; lightly yelling at Gram that she needed to get back to a normal routine and that she was perfectly fine. One thing remained the same, thought AJ – that girl could bounce back from anything. It was evidence of all that she’d been through in her life. Her ability to rise above the disappointment, hurt, and fear what the entire world needed to see to know that she was either very brave or very good at hiding the truth.
The door to the beat-up pickup was already open and she was standing in it when she noticed the handsome stranger at the B&B.
Without hesitation she shut the door and walked over, as if she greeted newbies to town on a daily basis.
“Hi,” she said, reaching out her hand in her polite, southern manner. “Name’s Addie Jenko. Don’t believe we’ve met.”
AJ nearly cringed. Was he a good enough actor to pretend they hadn’t already done this? He relaxed slightly knowing it didn’t matter, as he’d be gone in just a few hours.
“AJ,” he responded, standing up. “AJ McCallister.”
“You new in town?” she asked as their hands touched.
The spark sent a shiver down her spine and she became instantly defensive. She couldn’t tell if she should welcome the feeling or rebuke it.
“Yeah,” he responded, feeling the chill as well. The hair on the back of his neck rose up. “Just passing through. Thinking I’ll be heading on out today.” All he wanted to do was wrap her in his arms.
“That’s a shame,” she said, digging her hands back into her pockets. Even though they were working hands, the mud and muck nearly permanently etched into her skin, it only served to make them more beautiful. “Lee’s a nice place to kick back for awhile.”
AJ stared down at the ground, composing himself before looking up. Without the anxiety and fear she had been under the past few days, she looked to be even more radiant.
“That’s what I hear. Unfortunately, duty calls.”
It wasn’t a lie. He had convinced himself his gift would best be served elsewhere.
“I can understand that,” she replied, pointing out to the fields. “I have some duty to attend to myself. Had a little accident apparently so I’m not quite sure where I left off and where I need to pick up, but I’ll figure it out I’m sure.”
“I’m sure you will,” he replied with a smile. The feisty girl was back, and she was going to be just fine.
“Well, have a safe trip stranger,” she said, hanging s
lightly on the word stranger as if it were familiar to her tongue. “If you ever pass back through, you’ll have to come to one of our little barn dances. It's a guaranteed good time.”
“I’ll take you up on that,” he replied. “But only if I’m not forced to line dance.”
Hearing her call him stranger reminded him of their first days together; the tough and beautiful country girl who might have been his salvation back then. Back then, he laughed to himself. The phrase seemed odd, as though so much time had elapsed since their first introduction on that dusty road.
She smiled back at him, her lips turned up ever so slightly in the corners. She had a sense of déjà vu. AJ looked closely, wondering if perhaps buried deep within her mind were the memories of the past.
“I can’t make those types of promises, but I’ll see what I can do,” she laughed, bouncing back to her truck.
Without another word or another glance, she was gone. He’d seen Addie Jenko for the very last time and if he could carry the smile he had just seen upon her face with him forever he’d be satisfied. Or at least he’d force himself to be.
6 IN TIME
His resolve formed right there within his gut as he watched the pickup truck drive away. He had saved her life and while his head told him to be humble about it, his heart was screaming. In spite of how life had changed in the last twenty-four hours, he wanted to hold tightly to those good memories. They were all he had left; the only piece of Addie he had to hold on to.
He repeated over and over in his mind as his body stood statue still in the driveway that the knowledge of his love was all he needed. Repeated, repeated, and repeated. There was no lying to his heart, however. It sank with each moment that ticked by on time’s clock and he was heartbroken all over again.
