“Criminy.” Carlyn leaned across the table. “And you let him go?”
“How could I stop him?”
“By saying ‘I love you madly, of course I want to get married. Can’t wait.’ ”
Meri hid her face in her hands. Shook her head. “I am so stupid.”
“Pretty much, if you’re here having burgers with me and not with Alden.”
The waitress brought their burgers and set the plate of onion rings between them.
The sight of them made Meri queasy.
Carlyn slid the mustard toward her.
“What am I going to do?”
“You’re asking me?” Carlyn shook catsup onto her plate. “Ms. Cut and Run?”
“Well, you’re the best I’ve got.”
Carlyn grinned. “I think there’s a song about that.”
“Don’t you dare. I’m on the brink of a breakdown here.”
“Then eat your burger. Then you’ll call him and give him the good news.”
Meri picked up her burger, put it down again. “You know, it’s not the ‘Can I be a good mother to two teenagers,’ or ‘What if we get a divorce’ stuff. It’s just that he’s waited so long to have his children with him, and I’m afraid that’s what Nora’s reacting to.
“Their relationship is fragile still, and adding me to the mix destroys that.” She blew out a sigh. “I don’t think I could stand that.”
“Did you ask Nora?” Carlyn asked through a bite of burger.
“No. It never occurred to me until her announcement last night. I thought she was totally on board.”
“Me, too.”
Carlyn dunked an onion ring in catsup and handed it to Meri. “Maybe you should stop worrying about everybody else and think of yourself for a change.”
“I am.”
“Do you want to marry the guy or not?” She picked through the onion rings for the fattest one. “Because let me tell you. If you don’t want him, I might just ask him out.”
Meri tried not to smile. She needed to be serious. But she couldn’t hold out against Carlyn’s jackhammer techniques.
“He doesn’t sing karaoke.”
Carlyn sighed. “I could train him.”
“Stop it.”
“So what will it be? Yes I do. No I don’t. Or you’ll take what’s behind door number three?
“I think Alden, Nora, and I should sit down and talk things out.”
“That wouldn’t be my first choice, but since you can’t always get what you want, I think you should go for it.”
Meri dug in her bag for her phone.
“But maybe not while ‘Louie Louie’ is playing in the background. He might get the wrong idea.”
EVEN GRAN LOOKED worried, Nora thought as she watched her stir the stew she’d made that afternoon. She had helped, a little bit. Gran had taught her to cook a few things when she’d been trying to get her dad to let her stay.
He’d finally convinced her mom to let her come live with him, and now look where they were. She didn’t understand why her dad hadn’t just made Meri come home.
How he could be so complacent? No, that wasn’t it. Usually when he was upset he went to sit on the rocks overlooking the bay. Or worked at his drawing table. But they were still at Gran’s. It was almost like he was afraid to leave.
And that scared Nora. There had to be a way to make this right. If only she hadn’t talked to Lucas, they’d probably all be having dinner together, laughing and talking about decorating and wedding flowers, and her Dad would pretend like he didn’t get any of it but he would be happy. Like he’d been until a few days ago.
None of them said much while they ate. Gran kept glancing out the kitchen window like maybe she heard something. But it was just hope.
Meri didn’t come.
“I think you should call her again,” Nora said.
“It’s her move,” her dad said.
Nora cast a pleading look at Gran. She just shrugged and went back to picking at her apple cobbler.
They washed and dried the dishes like always. And Nora was thinking that she hoped they would still eat over here even after Mrs. Miller started cooking for them. Then she remembered, she might not even be here then. Meri and Dad might not be living together and she’d feel sick.
Even when they were walking home she knew her dad was looking out for Meri’s car. She sure was. Once, she saw headlights out on the road, but they kept going and Nora slumped with disappointment. Her dad just kept walking.
He’s like a zombie, she thought. Not the dragging leg kind of monsters that have books written about them, but the living dead. She gasped.
Her dad reached for her elbow. “Are you okay?”
She nodded, but she took his arm as if she could hold him there, keep him from going to that place that scared her, that made her sad, because she knew he was alone there. And she prayed that Meri would come home.
As soon as they got home she went to her room. Locked the door and pulled out her cell.
She texted Lucas. Call me. Now.
Nothing.
She couldn’t wait. Emergency.
Nothing. She called him.
“What?” he said on the fourth ring.
“That’s a terrible way to answer the phone.”
“What do you want, I’m really busy.” A pause. “It isn’t Dad? Nothing’s happened to Dad?”
“Nobody’s dead, if that’s what you mean. But we have a serious problem.”
“Okay. Just hang on a minute so I can finish my . . .”
He left her to silence. She could hear him rummaging around in the background. Then he was back.
“Okay. What’s the big emergency?”
“Meri’s left.”
“So? Where’d she go?”
“She went back to Newport, because she thinks we don’t want her to marry Dad.”
“Well, that’s dumb. Why does she think that?”
“It’s all your fault,” Nora said, hoping it wasn’t all her fault. And afraid that maybe it was.
“My fault? I’m not even there. I haven’t talked to Meri since Thanksgiving.”
“It’s what you said about all those statistics and second marriages.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“Are they true?”
“They’re based on collected data and make certain assumptions after taking into account standard deviations”
“Speak English, dammit. This is serious.”
“I am being serious.”
“But will it happen to Meri and Dad?”
“What?”
“You said they would want to be alone so they could start their own family right away.”
“I didn’t.”
“Your statistics did.”
“Statistics are bodies of input, they’re percentages.”
“You mean Meri and Dad might not be that way.”
“Yes. Or they might. It depends on a lot of factors. You said there was an emergency. Can you get to your point?”
“I called Mom and told her I wanted to move back to her house.”
Nothing but nasal breathing from the other end. Finally, “Are you crazy? Why did you do that? You hate it there.”
“I thought it would be better for Dad and Meri, and now everything is all screwed up. And I’m afraid there’s not going to be a wedding.”
“That was the dumbest thing.”
“I know. I’m dumb. I get that.”
“You’re not dumb. You just think with your emotions. Not a good way to deal with things.”
“Are you sure you’re my brother? That brother is a nerdy kid but he’s not some stuffy automaton with no emotions.”
“I’ve got emotions. I’m just saying you shouldn’t
have had a knee jerk reaction.”
“Well, I did, and you have to fix it.”
“Nora, maybe we ought to leave it alone. They’re the adults.”
“Lucas. Help me fix this.”
“Have any ideas?”
“No. You’re the brainiac.”
“With statistics. People? Not so much.”
“Well, too bad. You started this, now figure out what we can do.”
He huffed out a sigh. “Let me think. I’ll get back to you.”
“Okay, but don’t go back to your books and forget.”
“You think I would forget about Dad getting married?”
She really didn’t know. Her brother was a kid and yet he sometimes sounded like some old geezer. “What do you want me to do?”
“Nothing. Don’t do anything. I’ll take care of it.”
“How?”
“That’s for me to figure out.”
“You’d better hurry.”
“I will, but Nora . . .”
“What?”
“Whatever happens, don’t you dare run away.”
Chapter 10
MERI WOKE TO hammering. At first she thought it was a hangover; she’d had two glasses of wine with Carlyn. Over her limit. She looked around, realized she was still in her apartment in Newport. Someone next door must be renovating or hanging pictures.
Newport. She grabbed for her phone. It past nine o’clock. She’d overslept.
And there was no message from Alden.
Maybe he didn’t want to talk to her. She had really blown it.
She should have driven back last night. Except between the wine and the catharsis, Carlyn had convinced her it wouldn’t be safe. That’s when she’d had the second glass.
The hammering started up again.
“Oh, finish already,” she said to no one in particular, and flopped back on her bed.
Why hadn’t he called? He’d said it was her move. So she’d made it. Called and said she wanted to talk. Finished with “I love you. Call me.” And hung up to wait.
She’d stayed up late waiting for Alden to return her call. She’d fallen asleep sometime during the night. She’d meant to get up early and drive home, and now she’d overslept.
She was a little worried that he hadn’t called her back.
Her phone rang. And she exhaled in enormous relief.
She swiped her finger across the screen twice before it activated.
“Alden?”
“Uh, no.”
“Who is this?” she asked.
“Lucas.”
“Lucas?”
“Yeah, Lucas Corrigan.”
“Where are you?” Had something happened to Alden?
“I’m outside your apartment. Where are you?”
“I’m inside my apartment. Have you been knocking?”
“Yes, persistently. I was afraid I’d missed you.”
“I thought that was next door. Wait a minute, I’ll let you in.”
She dragged on the jeans she’d worn last night, exchanged her night shirt for a sweatshirt, shoved her feet into fur-lined moccasins, and hurried to let Lucas in.
It was a shock to see him. He’d been about her height at Thanksgiving, but now he looked even taller. Dark hair like his father’s. Though cut short because of the school regulations. With the same pale complexion. He was so much like his dad, and for a moment she just looked at him, thinking of the boy not much younger than this who had saved her mother—and her—from a watery death.
“Come in; you must be freezing. How did you get here? Does your dad know? Did he send you?”
Lucas came in, slipped a heavy backpack from his shoulders and let it drop to the floor. “It’s pretty cold out there. I got a ride from a kid and his parents who dropped me off on their way to Portsmouth. Dad doesn’t know and he didn’t send me.”
Meri grinned. “I’ve missed you.”
Lucas looked uncomfortable.
“Come on in. I don’t have any food, are you hungry?”
“Yeah, but it can wait.”
“That sounds serious. What’s up? Why did you come here instead of going home? Did you get off a day early?”
Lucas unzipped his jacket, pulled it off, looked around for a place to put it. Meri took it from him and hugged it. It was very cold.
“How long were you waiting?”
“A few minutes. Listen.” He turned to face her. “Nora called and said you and Dad were breaking it off.”
“She did?”
“Yes. She seems to think it’s her fault. Just because I told her about some stupid statistics. Sometimes she can be such a butthead.”
“What kind of statistics?”
“The usual. The longevity of second marriages, but since it’s your first—or I guess it is—the statistics will be skewed. And about the need to start a new family right away.”
Enlightenment dawned. “And Nora was afraid she’d be replaced with a— What did she call Jennifer’s new baby?”
“The little worm.”
“Right. So she decided to go back to your mother before that happened? Honestly, did she think she could ever be replaced by someone else. Or you?” Meri added.
Lucas shrugged. But a slash of pink grew across his pale cheeks.
“Lucas, we would never do that. Even if—you know—we started— If we had—”
Lucas waved her aside. “Whatever.”
Meri blushed. She had no idea how to talk about sex to a teenage boy. So they both stood looking at the floor until Lucas said, “So do you love my dad or not?”
“With all my heart.”
“Then—”
“Lucas, I love your dad more than anything. But I don’t have to marry him, if it makes you and Nora unhappy. We can just go along being the way we are now. It’s fine. I understand. Besides, I’m not sure I can be helpful if you and Nora need to talk about anything.”
“Talk about what?”
“You know, things you talk about with parents. I’m not sure I’d be all that good at it.”
Lucas frowned. “Jeez, Meri. After our mother? You wouldn’t have to be too good.”
Meri’s heart broke for both these neglected children, and she promised herself that even if she made a million mistakes, she would always make the time for them.
“What else?”
Meri frowned. “What do you mean?”
Lucas sighed. “You love my dad, you don’t have to be a good mother, and Nora and I both want you to marry him, and—oh yeah—Nora wants to know if she can stay after all.”
“Of course she can. You, too, if you decide you don’t like boarding school.”
“So we’re solid?”
Meri nodded. “Yeah. We are.”
“In that case . . .” Lucas knelt on one knee. “Will you, Meri Calder-Hollis, marry us, all of us, even when we’re buttheads?”
Meri looked into that earnest face and nodded, though she found herself very close to tears. “I do. As long as you take me when I’m a butthead, too.”
“I do. We all do.” He stood. “Now can we eat? I didn’t have time for breakfast before I left.”
“Of course. Give me a second to get dressed. We’ll have to go out. I don’t have anything in the fridge. Then we’ll drive out to the farm.
“Oh! I forgot. I have a dress fitting.” She looked at the wall clock. “In less that an hour.” She began looking for her purse. “Can you make do with a bagel from the deli? I’m sure Gran will make you a gigantic breakfast once we get home.”
NORA LOOKED FROM Gran to Edie Linscott. Meri’s wedding dress was hanging from the doortop, ready to be tried on.
But there was no Meri. And Nora hadn’t heard from Lucas.
G
ran glanced out the window. “I’m sure she’ll be here any minute. She probably hit traffic getting out of Newport. Big tourist season at Christmas.”
Gran sounded awfully sure that Meri would come.
They’d had breakfast earlier, though none of them ate very much. Her dad had tried to leave afterward, but Gran put him to work, chopping wood. She already had plenty of wood. Dad always made sure the woodpile was stocked.
But Nora thought she knew what Gran was doing. Giving him something to do until Meri came.
If she came. What if she never came back? Lucas said he would fix it. But he was only thirteen, and barely thirteen at that.
She’d have to go into Newport herself and ask Meri to come back. Explain to her why she’d said she was moving back with her mother. Ask Meri to give her a second chance, and then somehow she’d make Meri marry her dad.
She’d promised Lucas she wouldn’t run away. She’d done that before. But she hadn’t said she wouldn’t drive away. She had her restricted license. She was pretty good with the SUV even though it was kind of big. She’d just drive to Newport.
Except that she didn’t know how to park. She’d go to Gilbert House; they had a lot in back. But no one would be working there.
She’d go there and call Meri to pick her up. She wouldn’t say no, would she? Except Meri was probably mad at her. Mad? She probably hated her for wrecking her wedding.
Nora bit her lip really hard so she wouldn’t cry. She pulled out her cell. Still nothing from Lucas.
Mrs. Linscott lifted her eyebrows at Gran and they went into the other room.
Nora followed them to the door, heard Edie say, “Trouble in paradise?”
“A bit,” Gran said. “Let’s have a cup of coffee while we wait.”
Nora went to the window. She’d looked out every few minutes since breakfast was over. She could hear her dad chopping wood like he wanted to kill it. He probably wished he could kill her.
She had to do something. They’d walked over and the SUV was in the garage. She could probably get home without him seeing her. And get the SUV started and onto the road before he could run after her. Of course there was the truck.
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