I get home and change into my PJs, plopping down on my bed. I have the apartment to myself and leave the lights off to watch the replay of the game on my laptop, fast forwarding through and listening to my announcements. I get distracted and watch Chase’s plays, replaying them and admiring his skill in the game. He doesn't get shook by anything. He knows exactly what he needs to do and he does it dependably. He doesn’t let his team down. I also notice the way he stands with a masculine authority and flexes his muscles while he’s at bat. The way his legs stretch his pants as he runs to catch the ball. How his helmet flies off his head as he’s running the bases because of his sheer speed and dedication to winning the game. I need to stay away from him. I still want him.
Text from GamerGirlM - Why aren’t you here yet?
Text from GamerGirlM - Chase has been watching for you.
Text to GamerGirlM - Not going.
Text from GamerGirlM - What? Why not?
Text to GamerGirlM - It’s better this way.
Text from GamerGirlM - He’s a good guy. Not a jerk player.
I know she’s right and that’s why I need to stay away. I can’t get involved with someone real. I knew he was real. I should’ve fucked him in Arizona and forgot about it. Damn it! I want him.
Text to GamerGirlM - It’s a work thing. I need to focus.
Text from GamerGirlM - Don’t wait too long.
Text from GamerGirlM - He may be the one.
Text to GamerGirlM - That’s stupid. That’s not real.
Text from GamerGirlM - I was there when you got home that night in Arizona.
Text from GamerGirlM - You told me why you didn’t have sex with him then.
Text from GamerGirlM - I know the truth.
Text from GamerGirlM - Were you lying to me then or are you lying to me now?
I love Michelle, but sometimes it would be nice to have a best friend that hadn’t been my roommate since we got out of high school and that couldn’t read me like a book because we’ve known each other for so long. I need to walk away from Chase.
Chase
The team is relaxing on the sand and the waves are raging. Kristina hasn’t shown up and I haven’t gotten any messages from her. I need to surf and get it out of my system. I grab my board and head toward the water, stopping just short to watch the waves. I’m familiar with the surf break. I’ve spent hundreds of hours floating on my board here waiting for my wave and weeks sitting on the sand observing. I swim out, diving into the waves with my surfboard. I feel alive. The ocean always makes things better, even if it’s only a temporary distraction. I swim out at least a hundred yards and lay flat on my board watching the surf as it rolls in, waiting patiently. Floating calm on the raging ocean and letting the waves break, while they allow me to ride them. The waves are coming in sets of six and about every other set has my wave. I catch a few rides in, making it up to my feet each time and needing the rush of adrenaline. It’s addictive, I immediately turn around and swim back out for more.
I walk up to my bungalow, dripping wet and cold. I observe the couples snuggling at the bonfire, wondering why it can’t be like that for me. Why can’t Kristina be here? Or, maybe she could message me. Anything would be nice. I watch Mason with his arms around Michelle as I approach, “Anything from your roommate?”
“Sorry, she’s not coming.”
“Did she say why?”
“She said she can’t be with you and get the job she wants, that it’s better this way.” Michelle leans her head to the side with kind eyes, “I’m sorry. I tried to get her here. I’ll keep trying. I think she’s just upset today and I’m hoping she’ll come around for you. I believe you’re a good guy.”
“This morning she was kissing me and wanting to kiss me more. I don’t get it.” I shake my head as I walk off to shower.
Chase
After everyone has gone home, I climb in bed and lie there thinking about Kristina. Not that different from the rest of the evening when I was hoping she’d show up. I’m not crazy. I know she wanted to kiss me this morning. She called me to the parking lot because she wanted another kiss and I’ll never forget that feeling. I was happy in a new way, comfortable with her as I swung her around and kissed her. I know she was happy, too. I heard her need for me in her voice, and her joy when I had her in my arms. Shit, I’ve never felt so good as when she planted that kiss on me at the stadium today—even if I was a jerk and an asshole. I need to make her think about me.
To @Kristeeeeeena - Sorry you couldn’t make it tonight.
To @Kristeeeeeena - Goodnight
I didn’t think I’d get a response, but a reply popped through immediately.
From @Kristeeeeeena - Goodnight
I don’t understand this chick.
To @Kristeeeeeena - I was thinking about you.
To @Kristeeeeeena - Wish you would’ve come over.
From @Kristeeeeeena - It’s better if I don’t.
To @Kristeeeeeena - How’s it better not seeing each other and not kissing each other?
I’m frustrated and turn the sound on my phone off before she can reply. I wish she were here with me and remember her kiss as I fall asleep.
Kristina
I want to be kissing him right now, but I can’t let myself get lost in his world. He’s not good for me. I have a goal and I’m going for it. I need to stay away from him. He just makes things harder. Chase is a distraction I don’t need. I need to focus on the gig I want, not the baseball player I want nothing to do with.
To @RookCross - You’re bad for me.
I expect a quick response, but there’s not one. He’s not trying to change my mind. He’s not saying anything. He’s gone. “He’s already off with another woman!” I yell out and throw my journal against the wall. “Damn it!” I kick the blankets off my bed and pace around talking to myself. “I knew it! Baseball players suck!”
“Excuse me, I’m a baseball player,” I hear through the wall.
Shit! I didn’t know they were here. “Michelle! Do you have a guy in your room?”
“We’re playing in my room.”
“What?” She’s never had a guy over before.
“Not like that. Perv.” Michelle calls back through the wall.
“Baseball players don’t suck.” Mason adds to the conversation and I hear giggling. I can only imagine the conversation about what else he would do to make up for not sucking.
I shake my head, “I can’t believe you have a guy over in bed with you.”
“I’m an adult and I can do whatever I want, mother.”
“You could’ve at least given me a heads up before you brought your boy toy over for a romp. Why didn’t you go to his place? I’m sure he’s got a nice ball player bachelor pad.” I joke, continuing the conversation through the wall. I hope she gets laid.
Mason complains, “Hey, you’re messing with our mojo here.”
Michelle responds to him, “Just put it on pause.” I hear her bedroom door open and her walking toward my bedroom. “Are you decent? I’m coming in there either way.” My door opens and there stands Michelle with the coolest wireless gaming headphones I’ve ever seen wrapped around her neck, fully dressed in leggings and a Seals T-shirt.
“What the?” I look at her confused.
She rolls her eyes at me, “Where do you think we were? We were at his place earlier.”
“Then why are you here now? I’m sure his place is better.”
“He doesn’t have my gaming machine. I want to play my games, not his.” She turns to leave, but changes her mind. “Why were you throwing shit? What did you do? It’s about him. It’s always a guy. Why didn’t you just go to the party?”
“I told him he’s bad for me and he didn’t respond. He’s probably busy with another girl. No time for me.”
“You’re a nut job! What do you expect? You keep telling him to leave you alone. He does what you want and you freak out. We all saw you kissing him. You were happy and wanted more. Why wouldn’t you
want more? Chase is fuckin’ hot.”
Mason interrupts, “Hello. Current guy you’re dating is right here in the other room. Also a baseball player.”
“I know, Mase. You’re hot, too. And, you smell good.” Michelle closes her eyes and continues, “You can’t have it both ways. He wants you.” She turns to the wall, “Mase, any chance Cross is with another girl tonight?”
He groans, “I’m sure there’s one available and trying to get his attention.”
“Not helping,” she yells back at him.
“He’s not into that anymore. I haven’t seen him so much as call another woman.”
I add on, “So, you’re a guy, right?”
He groans, “Yes.”
“Why wouldn’t he respond to me?”
“Maybe he hasn’t seen your message. Maybe you should call him or actually go to his house when he invites you if you want to talk to him instead of staying home. Fuck, maybe he’s sleeping.”
Michelle looks at me, “He could be sleeping. You need to figure this shit out. Mase is right and Chase won’t wait forever.” She stops, but gets the last word as she walks out of my room, “Love you to the moon, Kristina, but he’s a good guy and he shouldn’t have to wait. Figure it out.”
“Thank you, Michelle,” Mason calls out proudly.
She whispers to me, “I was referring to Chase.” Then louder while shaking her head, “I know, I’ll be right there.”
“Hey, wait! What’s up with you and Mason?” I whisper, “Did you get laid?”
“No! We just met. Perv!” She slams my door behind her and goes back to her room.
I grab my phone to look for a response from Chase, but there’s still nothing. Maybe Mason is right. I should sleep, too.
To @GamerGirlM - Did he kiss you yet? Or anything?
From @GamerGirlM - He’s sweet and respectful.
From @GamerGirlM - Not an intrusive perv like you.
From @GamerGirlM - Details later… when there are some.
I laugh out loud and Michelle yells through the wall, “Shut up! You could be getting laid if you wanted.”
I’m not sure she’s right. Chase wants to date me and kiss me. He’s turned me down for sex. It doesn’t matter. He’s bad for my focus and I need to focus on my goal. If he doesn’t wait, then he isn’t the right one. Listen to me! He’s not the right one. Baseball players are never the right one.
Chapter Eleven
Chase
I wake up to a missed call and texts from Mason.
Text from Mason - Dude! Where are you? Going to breakfast.
Text from Mason - Kristina is with us.
Text from Mason - She was freaking out about you not responding to her message last night.
I check my twitter.
From @ Kristeeeeena - You’re bad for me.
Text to Mason - Thanks for the heads up.
Text to Mason - Fuck! How am I bad for her?
Text from Mason - I don’t get that girl. She was watching for you at breakfast and waiting for your response last night.
Text to Mason - I don’t get her either.
To @Kristeeeeena - Good morning. :)
To @Kristeeeeena - Sorry I missed our breakfast date.
To @Kristeeeeena - I was sleeping and my sound was off.
To @Kristeeeeena - Let me make it up to you over late night dessert at the diner after the game tonight?
From @Kristeeeeena - I don’t think it’s a good idea.
To @Kristeeeeena - Okay
Text to Carter - Hey Carter! Is Kristina PA Announcer again today?
Text from Carter - Yes.
Text to Carter - Perfect. Can you deliver the game day color cap with my number on it to her in the control booth please? I want her to match the team and feel special.
Text from Carter - No problem.
Text to Carter: Can you take her one of those plush seals with the jersey on it, too? Please. The larger one?
Text from Carter - I’ll take care of it.
If I have to piss her off to get her to come find me and kiss me. I can be the jerk. Now I simply wait for her to get mad.
Kristina
What doesn’t he understand about not sending me things to the control booth? I thought I was very clear. Maybe he really is mentally impaired! I have a goal here and he’s getting in the way. He makes me look like a girl instead of an announcer. His truck is in the player’s garage. I know he’s here. He’s not on the field or anywhere I have access to. I’m going to rip him a new one! Jerk!
Chase
When I get to the stadium, she’s already been looking for me and she’s pissed off. I take batting practice in the cage and do an extra work out on the weights, staying in the clubhouse until its time to go out and do my pregame warm-up.
Sherry and Michelle are behind home plate again and wave me over. “Kristina’s been looking for you again and she didn’t look happy.” Sherry warns me, but I smile.
“That’s part of my plan. She finds me when she’s pissed and I’m betting I get another kiss.”
“Sneaky. I like it,” Michelle chimes in. “That girl doesn’t think she can get the announcer gig and the guy. She acts like it’s one or the other.”
“I don’t know what else to do. I’m open to suggestions.” I see Kristina out of the corner of my eye, “I’ve gotta go.” I turn and walk toward the outfield to warm up just in time for…
“Don’t go running away from me, you jerk!”
I keep walking and pretend I don’t here her yelling.
“Chase Cross! What the hell are you thinking? Idiot!”
I turn like I’m just noticing when she says my name, and run toward her with a grin plastered on my face. “Hey! What’s up?”
“What’s up?” She stares at me like she’s trying to bore a hole through my body. “You sent me another gift to the control booth! I specifically told you not to send me things to the control booth! Is the plush seal supposed to remind me of your furry fetish or my stupid decision to make out with you in your room? Jerk!”
I watch her go off on me and take the opportunity to gaze into her gorgeous green eyes. Her anger has the gold flecks dancing around the edge of her irises and her cheeks flushed. I’m prepared to respond, but I don’t think I’ll have to. I wait her out and let her finish yelling at me.
“I swear you either don’t listen or you’re just plain stupid!”
Sure enough, she reaches for me and pulls me to her by the front of my jersey. This time I’m ready and when she plants that amazing kiss on me, I wrap my arms around her and I take control. I lift her up and hold her against me. Kissing her with every bit of passion I have and not letting her go. She tries to push me away, but gives in to my kiss and melts into me. She’s kissing me back and her heartbeat skips, beating hard against my chest. I press my lips to hers repeatedly, tasting her and drawing her into me. I push my luck, licking her lips and slipping my tongue into her mouth to stroke hers. I want more. I want all of her and it’s not the place to go further. It’s not the time. I need to prove I want her enough, but I have to get her near me to do that. I hold her tightly against me, so she can’t get away and I whisper in her ear, “Feel us together. I want us. I know you want us. I can feel it in your touch and taste it on your lips. Let me show you that I want you enough. Please, stop fighting it. Give me a chance, Kristina. You’re beautiful. You’re everything I want.” I don’t know where it came from. It’s not what I planned to say. I should release her and put her down, but I kiss her sweet lips and pull her head to rest on my chest.
She pulls away from me and gets to the ground. Glaring at me, she stretches up on her tiptoes and gives me a quick kiss on the lips. Then as she runs off to the control booth, “You’re hot, but you’re still a jerk and a ball player.”
I turn away smiling uncontrollably and get ready for the game.
Kristina
His hands are warm and protective. His lips tell me his story and make me want more. His body ag
ainst mine is solid and gives me his heart. His words and breath at my ear promise me the world—but I can’t believe him. I want to. I want to go to him and be with him. It’s not an option. My world revolves around me, not a baseball player who will ditch me as soon as he gets what he wants. Maybe I want the same thing. It doesn’t matter. I can’t have it.
Yet, I allow myself the indulgence of kissing him and I allow him to distract me when I need to get to work. He’s bad for me and the first thing I do when I sit down in the PA Announcer’s chair is put on the cap he sent me backwards and kiss the plush seal on the nose. I look out over the field as I put my headphones on and he’s looking up at me, grinning from ear to ear and blowing me a kiss.
The field clears while I run through the scheduled announcements and lineups. Then as the National Anthem starts I notice a tweet.
From @RookCross - I hope you caught the kiss I blew to you.
From @RookCross - I know you always want a second kiss.
From @RookCross - Would you like me to come over after the game?
To @RookCross - I’m working here.
From @RookCross - You look hot wearing my cap.
From @RookCross - Have I told you how much I like hearing your voice during the game? Nobody announces my name the way you do.
To @RookCross - Can you leave me to work? Go win, jerk!
I turn my phone to silent and flip it over, so I’m not interrupted during the game. It doesn’t help. All I can do is think about him. Do I want him to come over after the game? The crowd starts to yell and Cross is running for the wall. He jumps and reaches over the wall to snag it, getting the third out of the first inning and leaving two runners on base for the other team. I want to cheer for him and holler out his name, but I stop myself and have some decorum in the control booth. Bad enough they probably saw me making out with him on the field. I’m sucked into the game and Chase is leading off for the Seals. I hear “I Want to Hold Your Hand” play as he walks up to bat. I catch myself smiling and my voice sounds different when I announce his name. I hear Sherry cheering for him and wish I could. I watch each pitch get thrown, aware of the microphone in front of me and not wanting to make any noise.
Star-Crossed in the Outfield (All About the Diamond #4) Page 8
