The team is flying to Chicago tonight, so we’re busy and that’s good, helps me stay focused. That is until we get on the plane and everybody gets their phones out to call their women, and I can’t because she blocked me. I want to call her and talk for a few minutes, like my teammates. Seno sits next to me and ends his call with Sherry. “Good work getting into the game,” with an attaboy nod.
“Thanks.”
With a deep sigh, “She was baking with Sherry this afternoon and they were watching the game together. So, she’s safe and not hiding. Sherry said Kristina’s been asking her questions about ball players and I don’t think she’d do that if she was ready to be done with you. Give her the few days and when we get back I’ll help you find her. But, I want to see you hustling in Chicago. No, whiny ass shit.”
“I got it. Thanks for letting me know she’s okay.”
To @Kristeeeeeena - Flying to Chicago. Miss you.
Seno wakes me up when the plane is landing and I feel much better than I did earlier, I may have shook off the hangover. I’m hungry. We get checked into our room and settled. I take Seno and Mason out for a steak dinner, it’s Chicago home of the steakhouse. I figure I owe them since I’ve been such a punk the last couple of days. We keep it an early night and I make up for my whiskey night by turning in early.
Kristina
“How could you jump in so quick with a baseball player? They’re all players in every sense of the word.”
Sherry grins, “You’d think that, but it’s not true. Rick hadn’t been with a woman in two years when I met him. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t a struggle. Their past isn’t their present and they can’t control the women that are after them.”
“I guess. I don’t know. They’re gone so much and they could be doing anything,” I should think before I speak. The last thing I want is a worried pregnant woman on my hands.
Sherry looks at me funny, “We don’t like being apart, so I go on road trips. The rest doesn’t matter. It’s not a concern because we trust each other.”
Do I trust Chase? I think I trusted him the first moment I met him. I hadn’t considered him cheating until I told him to try another girl. So fucking stupid. Can it be cheating if I told him to do it? No, he wouldn’t cheat. I don’t have the luxury of being able to travel with him. I have to work.
“How do you deal with him getting hurt? Doesn’t it freak you out when pitchers throw at him?”
“I never want him hurt, but when he got hurt last season it brought us closer together. It pisses me off when they throw at him and I yell at the pitchers when they do it. It’s part of the game.” She stops and turns to me, “We all have to live. Life has risks.”
She doesn’t ask me about Chase, she simply continues helping me learn how to bake and let’s me do my own thing. She’s content and happy sharing her life with a baseball player.
Wanting Chase could be a change to my whole life plan. I don’t know if I can have what I want and him. What if he wants more than I’m willing to give?
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chase
The next three days I do my best to stay focused. Mason and Seno share info they get about Kristina—she’s safe and still there. I can go find her when I get home and figure it out from there. Baseball is my world. No chicks. No booze. My team, work outs and games.
Monday’s game was postponed due to rain. A day wasted. The team got together and went for deep dish Chicago Style pizza. Then I hung out with Mason, who I found out has been spending time alone in his room this whole trip. Well, maybe not quite alone, playing video games online with Michelle and talking to her through the game—basically whispering in her ear the whole time they’ve been apart. Luckily, she’s busy with work today and the team takes over Mason’s room with a video game competition. Yes, we played baseball.
I didn’t realize Michelle works, but I guess she has to pay rent somehow. She’s always available for games and it doesn’t matter what time of day or day of the week. Mason has been spending all his free time with her, so I don’t know when she’s working. “Dude, what does your chick do?”
“She’s a freelance contractor of some type. She doesn’t go into it. She has some deadlines and mostly knows how much work she has to get done each day to stay on pace for her jobs,” Mason shares vaguely.
“So, you don’t know?”
“Pretty much. The only part I understand is that she’s self-employed.”
We all stay up too late for the doubleheader we have tomorrow.
Kristina
Between work and hanging out at Sherry’s I haven’t been home much. I get home and my apartment is silent, but I know Michelle should be here. “Hello?” I call out.
“SShhhhh… busy,” comes through her closed bedroom door.
I’ve never got that response before. I knock on her door, “Coming in.”
She groans and looks up at me as I stand in her doorway.
“Are you behind on work?” Michelle looks ragged, like she hasn’t slept.
“No. Busy.”
“Busy with what?” I walk over to look at her computer expecting to find she’s on a video game binge. “What the…”
“Don’t ask. I don’t know where it’s coming from. I can’t help it and I can’t sleep and I’m barely keeping up the minimums on my fantasy serials.”
“Okay, but you need to get some sleep. What did you tell Jones you do?”
“I’m a self-employed freelance contractor. I got lucky and he didn’t ask questions. I’ve learned to lean in for a kiss and he’ll do anything to avoid it.”
“I don’t know why you put up with that. I can't believe he hasn’t kissed you.”
“I can’t believe you don’t claim Chase as your own and stop being stupid,” she stares at me with disdain. “It’s kind of sweet that Mase is taking it slow. At least that’s what I keep telling myself and then I remind myself how amazing his hands feel when he holds me. I’m being patient.”
“Whatever.”
“Seriously, Kristina, he’s a good guy and he’s into you. Forget that he’s a baseball player for five minutes and think about the man. The hot man with long legs and muscles and always in a dirty uniform. Maybe the uniform part doesn’t help, but you get the idea.”
“Michelle!”
“He gets my attention. Do you know how many other women are noticing him if I am? You need to get your shit together.”
“I’m thinking about it.”
“Like, really?”
“Yes."
“Don’t think too long. I think you’re good until the team gets back. Mase said Chase is going to find you when he gets home. You better know what you want by then.”
“So, what’s with the project you’re working on?”
“It’s extra-curricular and we are keeping it to ourselves.”
“Um, what about your critique partner?”
“I don’t want to have to explain him to Mason.”
“That’s not what I meant. Does he know about your project?”
“No. I haven't figured that part out yet. This may never get beyond my laptop.”
“I doubt that, but whatever.”
I walk away and leave her to her project. I have things to think about.
Chase
There’s no time for anything other than baseball on Tuesday. We’re playing a doubleheader to make up the rain out from yesterday. The lineups for both games are posted at the same time and game one starts at 11:00am. Doubleheaders are a mixed bag. Skip probably won’t play the same guys both games and may make some last minute changes between games. Then again, if I’d look at the lineups I’d know.
Game 1
1 CF Cross
2 SS Mason
3 1B Martin
4 C Seno
5 3B Lucine
6 2B Brandt
7 RF Rock
8 LF Simms
9 P Grace
Game 2
1 2B Brandt
2 SS Hart
3 CF Cross
4 LF Mason
5 3B Simms
6 1B Saben
7 RF Bravo
8 C Stray
9 P Clay
It’s going to be a long day for a few of us. I need to be in both games. The less down time the better.
Game one went like most games that have the lineup. We won 12-4 and Seno is pissed about the 4. I told him to take the win, but he doesn’t listen. It’s a good thing he’s sitting game two out. Every single one of us got a hit, even Corey Grace and he hits for shit. Mason, Lucine and Brandt hit homers. I got on base four of my five at bats and my teammates brought me home three times. I stole second base twice, walked twice and caught six balls in the outfield. Center Field is my space.
Game two, I’m concerned it will be wonky. First of all, Bravo is in the lineup and we haven’t won a game with Bravo in the lineup all season. Second, Seno and Lucine aren’t in the lineup. Third, Mason isn’t in the Sherry approved position. I spend the game leaning toward Right Field and covering half of Bravo’s zone in addition to my own, pushing him farther right. I’ve been watching him and he doesn’t have the speed or desire to cover all of Right Field. I’ve got this, and it’s a good thing I do because I run for a pop fly in Right Center Field that he never would’ve caught. It’s mostly rookies on the field for game two and they step up to show what they can do. I’m one of them, but I’m the rookie that’s been a Seal the longest. Mason is fine in Left Field, but not as sharp as he is at Short Stop. I get the change though, Short Stop for two games would be too much. He hit two doubles and a homer, I won’t be surprised to see him in the clean up spot more often. Stray brought his bat with him today, hitting safely at all of his at bats. A double and three singles. Brandt is new to the Seals, but not a rookie. He’s good people, a little quiet maybe, and what the team has been looking for at Second Base. He walked twice, popped out and hit a single. Simms is still getting his feet under him, but the progress is there. He seems to be able to handle anything on the left side. He hit two singles, but got caught stealing both times he made it on base. It wasn’t spectacular, but we managed to pull out a win. 2-1 Seals.
Wednesday I wake up anxious. I know we go home today and I’ve never been more ready to go home. It’s an early game and we’re going to win, keeping our streak intact. We fly home right after the game and I’m going to find my Sweetness. I know Mason has a date with Michelle tonight, Seno wants to go home to Sherry, and Martin is expecting a visit from a special friend. I’m not alone in my desire to get home and it shows in our playing. Shortest game all season at two hours and fifteen minutes, and that’s fine—especially when Josh Kranston shuts out Chicago and pitches the complete game in only 80 pitches. Mason hit a homer in the 4th inning that knocked me in. And in the 7th, we strung together three singles and a walk to score a run. 3-0 Seals.
Kristina
It’s hard to ignore baseball when you work in baseball media. More specifically, it’s hard to forget Chase when he plays hard and he’s the star of the game. I’m constantly writing copy and updating stats that surround him. His batting average and on base percentage keep going up, and his fielding percentage is one of the highest in the league. His UBR and UZR are both impressive, but what stands out most to me is his stolen base percentage. He’s the best in the division and three of the top five are on the Seals. The problem is Michelle. Something about the dirty pants does it for her and Chase is always dirty. If she acted like this when Jones was around, he’d swear he has competition. And, that makes me think about him. It’s hard not to when I know what he’s capable of. It’s not the sex. We are combustible together, but it’s more than that. I’m relaxed around him and I’m never relaxed around anyone. I can’t remember the last time I slept as well as I do when I’m with him. Everything melts away. I guess I believe he’ll protect me, he takes away my worries. I like being close to him and that seems to turn into sex.
I wanted to get laid. Just once in my life I wanted to be the girl that gave it up to a baseball player that made it to the majors, a professional athlete. Baseball skank for the night. It’s not me. But, the environment reminded me of my ex-boyfriend and he didn’t make it to the varsity team in college. I’m sure he wouldn’t have found out, but somehow it would vindicate me to know I was with a man that made it further than the jerk who cheated on me and therefore he had to be better. The fact that it was a one and done thing would be the icing on the cake. It’s what I wanted and I went for it. I knew my target when I got to the party. Everyone knew Cross wanted to get naked and fuck. I didn’t stop when he wanted me and I was wearing the mascot costume. I didn’t care. But, when we kissed my heart immediately began to pound. I remember vividly how my heartbeat was so strong that I swear you should’ve been able to see it beating out of my chest. Like in the cartoons when the red cartoon heart flies out of the characters chest pulling the character off of it’s feet and it shows it’s warm glow out there for everyone to see the cupids and tweety birds flying around it. Completely exposed. He was drunk and I could read his eyes even if he wasn’t coherent. He was with me. He wanted me. I wanted him. I still can’t believe that I dry humped him in my PJs. He told me he wanted me enough that night and I believe that he did. I ran because I was afraid of the overwhelming emotions. There’s no reason I couldn’t have taken advantage of the easy ball player and went on my way. No, my fear won and my fear keeps getting in the way. It makes me say things I don’t mean and hide from what I want. If I’m being honest with myself, it’s not the fear that’s the problem. It’s how much I want to be with him. The only fear is that I’m not what he really wants or can’t be what he really wants. Fear that I love him as much as I do and he doesn’t know what love is or will choose not to love me back. I had to leave him. I can’t get dumped by another baseball player. Baseball players suck.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chase
The plane ride home was a bit rowdy, not uncommon when the next day is an off day. I bug Seno and Mason to see what they can find out about Kristina. I want as much info as I can get, so I can find her. It seems that she was watching the game with Michelle and disappeared as soon as it was over.
When the plane lands, I don’t waste any time. I start my search for Kristina.
Always the last place you look, it’s where you find what you’re looking for. I’ve been all over town searching for her. I’ve been all over the stadium, to her apartment, to Seno’s, I’ve even checked a couple places that Michelle suggested. No sign of her, so I go home to regroup. I need a new plan. If she’s hiding from me or doesn’t want me to find her, I’ll never find her. I open up my bungalow to the beach and there she is, my Sweetness is sitting on the beach between the ocean and my patio. She’s looking at the waves and the wind off the ocean is blowing her hair back. The sudden relief in my body almost knocks me over. I stay where I am and look at her. The sight of her alone has my blood flowing and my heart beating faster. I have hope. The fact that she’s here on my beach, she must want me to find her. She must want to see me. I want to go to her and I realize that I’ve been waiting for this, I’ve been waiting for days to see her and hold her. I’ve been waiting to have her in my arms, so I can tell her that I love her. I don’t want to push her or scare her, and I don’t want her to think I’m saying it to get her back. It’s not a trick. I’m stuck dead in my tracks, not knowing what to do and I hear Seno in my head telling me to do whatever I need to do to keep my happy. All that matters is that she knows I love her.
I kick my shoes off and run out to her on the sand, dropping down to sit in front of her and face her. “Hi.” I watch for signs that she’s going to get up and leave, or maybe I could somehow get lucky and she would reach for me to kiss me, or, shit, I’d be happy if she smacked me at this point. I get nothing. “I know you don’t want to talk to me. I know you want me to leave you alone. I know you said you were falling for me. The only part I want to believe is that you’re falling for me. I do
n’t know what made you run from me, but I think you’re afraid of us. I want to be with you. We should be together. I want to know what made you run and I will do anything in my power to fix those things. I care about you and I don’t want to push you or pressure you. So, I’m going to say what I have to say and then I’m going in my house. You’re always welcome and the door will be unlocked.” I take a deep breath and gaze out at the ocean with the roaring waves, feeling a kind of peace fill me and I know I’m doing the right thing, “I didn’t know how to react on the phone when you said you were falling for me. I’m not falling for you. I can’t fall for you because,” I gaze into her eyes and palm her head, running my fingers through her silky hair, “Kristina, I love you. I’m in deep. I couldn’t say it over the phone, not the first time. You dumped me and it hurt in my chest, like I’d been cracked open and somebody took out everything that was good, leaving me to suffer with my pain alone. But, none of that matters. If you’re done with me, I’ll have to figure out a way to make you want me again. And, I’ll do it. Right now, I want you to know that I love you. You and only you. In my heart, you’re my girl and you always will be. I love you and I’ll always protect you.” She doesn’t speak. She doesn’t move a muscle. I lean in and kiss her forehead. I release her from my arms, as much as I don’t want to and stand up. I walk back to my bungalow, doing my best to not look back and I know in my heart she’ll come to me. I’m just not sure how long it will take and I want her now. I leave my sliding door open and walk to my kitchen, sitting at my counter drinking a bottle of water while I watch her sit there and hope she comes to me.
Star-Crossed in the Outfield (All About the Diamond #4) Page 22
