by M C Beaton
"No."
"Well, you look a damn sight too clean. Take my advice and muck yourself up a bit. And let me know if you even get a whisper." He took out his notebook. "I'll write down my home address and number. You may get into trouble." He tore off the piece of paper and handed it to Hamish.
Hamish waved to him and walked off into the night.
What a smelly place Strathbane was, he reflected as he headed down to the old docks where he knew Glenfields housing estate to be. Smells of gas and sour earth and cheap cooking.
He wished he hadn't shaved that morning. He wished he hadn't pressed his shirt. He was too old to pose as a student.
He walked through the estate until he found Kinnock Tower. The lift wasn't working. Wearily he began to climb the stairs. The walls of the staircase were covered in graffiti and the stairs themselves in garbage. The whole estate had been due for demolition for some time but kept being put off, because temporary accommodation would have to be found for the inhabitants and then new houses built and there was no money for that, perhaps because the councillors of Strathbane had a propensity to travel to exotic places en masse on "fact-finding" missions, and taking their wives with them, and all at the taxpayers' expense.
The flat he was looking for was near the top of the building. He trudged along until he came to 244. A blast of stereo sound came through the thin door. He rang the bell, and then, reflecting that the bell probably didn't work, knocked at the glass panel of the door, which had been broken at one time and stuck together again with sticky tape. Still no reply. He bent down and shouted through the letter box, "Anybody home?"
The door was suddenly jerked open.
A small, fat, piggy man stood there. He was bare to the waist. A snake was tattooed around one arm. Bob, thought Hamish.
Bob's eyes dropped to Hamish's feet. Hamish was glad he had put on an old pair of trainers instead of his regulation boots, which he often wore even when he was in plain clothes.
"Whit d'ye want?" demanded Bob.
Hamish leaned indolently against the doorjamb. "I heard I could get some good stuff here."
Bob thrust past him and peered up and down. "Come in," he said.
The outside door opened straight into a living room. The noise from the stereo was so loud it seemed to make the thin walls vibrate. There was little furniture, beanbags on the floor, one with a knife slash in it and the contents spilling out onto the bare boards. The room was littered with empty Diet Coke cans. Hamish had never seen so many.
"Wait here," said Bob.
He went into another room. There came sounds of an altercation. Then silence. Then Bob came back, followed by a tall young man with long unkempt hair and a straggly moustache. Angus, thought Hamish.
"What stuff?" demanded Angus.
"Heroin," said Hamish.
"Oh, yeah? What makes you think we've got any drugs."
"You haven't," said Hamish insolently. "Not in the quantity I need to buy."
Hamish knew impersonation came better from the inside. His very sneering insolence, the contempt in his eyes as he looked them up and down, he knew was a better disguise than if he had tried to dress up in the character of a drug baron.
"How much are we talking about here?" demanded Angus.
"Fifty thousand pounds for starters."
"Whit! Show us the money."
"Do you think I'd bring that much into a slum like this?" Hamish's eyes raked over the mess of the room. "I'm moving business to Strathbane and someone told me you two knew the drug scene."
"Oh, aye? And just who would that someone be?" demanded Bob, who had taken out a large knife and was waving it about.
"Put that bread knife away, you silly wee man," said Hamish.
"Who re you calling a silly wee man?" roared Bob. "I'll cut your face."
Hamish stared at him unmovingly.
"Put the blade down," snapped Angus. "So, big man," he said to Hamish, "which syndicate are you from?"
"As if I would tell you," jeered Hamish. "Just get me in touch and there's money in it for you."
"How much money are we talking about?"
"A hundred for each of you. You get me the contact and you get your money."
"Where do we get in touch?"
"You don't. Name a place and time and I'll be there."
"Wait a bit." Angus jerked his head at Bob and both went into the other room and shut the door behind them.
When they had gone, Hamish forced himself to maintain his role of big-time drug dealer. He knew if he relaxed the act for one moment, he would feel frightened and the fright would show.
There was an opened packet of cigarettes lying among the debris of Coke cans and half-eaten food in a corner of the floor. He stared at it hungrily, all the old longing for a cigarette flooding his body.
But just when he felt himself weakening, the door opened and Bob and Angus came back in.
"Took your time, didn't you?" demanded Hamish.
"Lachie's. Do you know Lachie's?"
"The disco."
"That's the one. Be there Thursday at nine o'clock."
"Okay. I'll be seeing you."
Hamish walked quickly to the door, nodded to them and walked outside, shutting it firmly behind him. He then stood a little way away from the door so that his silhouette could not be seen against the frosted glass and listened. "Follow him," he heard Angus say.
Hamish took off like a hare, running lightly on his trainers. He darted down the stairs and then along a corridor leading to the flats below. He pressed against the wall and waited until he heard Bob clattering down the stairs in pursuit. He waited until Bob's footsteps had faded away and then he made his way leisurely down the stairs, his mind in a turmoil.
What had he done? How on earth could he follow it through? What on earth had possessed him?
He would need to get hold of Sanders fast.
He made his way cautiously along the dark empty nighttime streets, always listening for the sound of pursuit. In the centre of the town, he found a phone box and dialled Sanders's number.
"Hamish," said Sanders crossly. "What now?"
"I need to see you. Now," said Hamish. "I'm in a mess."
"Okay, come round. Get to police headquarters, go on along Strathie Street past four turnings on the left going north, and the fifth is Tummock Drive."
"I'll be as fast as I can," said Hamish, and rang off.
Sanders listened to Hamish in silence and then said, "There's two things you can do, Hamish. One, go back to Lochdubh and forget about the whole thing. Two, come with me to police headquarters and let's see if we can follow this through."
"Blair will have my guts for garters."
"Blair's away for a week. Superintendent Daviot'll need to be in on this. You'd better stay the night and come in with me in the morning."
Wondering what they were making of his absence from the church, Hamish endured the wrath of Jimmy Anderson the next morning. Anderson howled that Hamish had lost his mind. Sanders said quietly that they had never really nailed a good drug bust and if Hamish could lead them to where the supplies were coming in, it would be a marvellous coup. Jimmy Anderson sourly said they should put the whole matter before Chief Superintendent Daviot. Hamish endured another gruelling session and then was told to go back to the church and maintain his cover until they got in touch with him. Until then, he was not to be seen at police headquarters again.
"Where the hell have you been?" demanded Barry when Hamish arrived looking haggard and unshaven.
"I talked most of the night with that fellow. He wass most helpful."
"I'm docking the time from your wages," said Barry. "Get to it. Any more days off and you're finished here."
Tired as he was, Hamish was glad of the work to take his mind off his troubles. He had gone to see Bob and Angus with no clear idea of what to say. Whatever had possessed him not only to tell that monstrous lie, but to say that he could come up with fifty thousand pounds?
He worked unt
il just before the evening service was due to take place and put away his paint pots and soaked his brushes and then got in Sean's old car and drove to Lochdubh. After he had soaked in a hot bath and changed his clothes, he began to feel better. He had not been fired. As he had pointed out, he was doing the investigation in his own free time. They could either go ahead with it or tell him to stop being a maverick and never, ever do anything like that again without consulting his superiors.
There was a knock at the door. It was Angela, the doctor's wife. "Your sheep are all right and your hens are fed and locked up for the night."
"Thank you," said Hamish. "Come in."
"I can't. I'm rushing. You look awful. Been out on the town?"
"Aye, you could say that," said Hamish.
After he had said goodbye to her, he locked up the police station and drove off towards Strathbane. It was a cold, crisp night and great stars blazed overhead. He drove steadily until he saw the orange blot on the sky which meant he was approaching Strathbane.
He parked outside the church and walked around the back to the kitchen door. There were lights on in the kitchen. He stopped and then went forward softly and put his ear to the kitchen door.
Barry's voice sounded sharp and clear. "Betty Jones hasn't paid up. She's in arrears."
"Then take her pension book," came his wife's voice.
"She won't give it up."
"Threatened her with the wrath of God, did you?" sneered his wife.
"Didn't have the slightest effect. She says she can't pay."
"We need some muscle on this. Trust you to employ a halfwit."
"I wanted the church painted," said Barry peevishly. "We employ muscle, we'll have to pay for it."
Hamish drew softly away from the door. So the Owens were loan sharks, using the church as a front. Lend money at high interest and if they didn't pay, take their pension book or dole payment book. He was about to retreat and go back to police headquarters and report what he had heard. But he had been told to stay at his job at the church until he was contacted.
He went back to the car, let in the brake and cruised down the hill a little without switching on the engine. Then he switched it on and turned and drove back up to the church, revving the engine before he stopped and this time getting out and slamming the door loudly. Then he walked up to the kitchen door, whistling loudly, and opened it.
The Owens were sitting there over cups of coffee. Mrs. Owen had a large bag at her feet which she zipped shut when Hamish walked in. No doubt where she had shoved the books, thought Hamish.
"Come in, lad, and the Lord be with you," said Barry unctuously. "We were just leaving."
Hamish tried to look as vacant-eyed as possible until they had gone, for Dominica kept throwing him nasty little looks.
At least he had something on them. How horrible they were! Now all he had to do was wait until headquarters managed to get in touch with him.
He was working busily on Wednesday, wondering all the while if the powers that be had decided to let the whole thing drop. It was a blustery, windy day and he had left the church door standing open to dry the paint. He had reached ground level of one of the walls and was bending down to fill in a bit he had missed when his sixth sense told him he was being watched.
He straightened up slowly and turned round. A woman of about his own age, thirty-something, stood there. She had thick black hair tied at the nape of her neck with a black ribbon. She was wearing a tailored suit and flat shoes. She had an oval face, large brown eyes and a generous mouth.
"What can I do for you?" asked Hamish.
The woman looked around. "Can we get out of here for a bit? We need to talk somewhere private."
Hamish glanced at his watch. "It's just about lunch-time."
"Then we'll have lunch."
They walked a good bit away from the church before she stopped by a small car. "Get in," she said, "and we'll go into the centre of town."
They had driven a few streets when she said, "I gather you will have guessed I am here to brief you." "Are you somebody's secretary?" "I am Detective Inspector Chater."
"Sorry, ma'am."
"And that was a sexist remark if ever there was one."
"This," said Hamish, waving an expansive hand, "is sexist country. You cannae be from Strathbane."
"I have been brought up from Glasgow. Don't talk until I negotiate this bloody awful one-way system."
She parked at last in the private car park of the Grand Hotel. Any hotel called the Grand conjures up visions of Victorian or Edwardian elegance, but this one was pure Strathbane: a square, modern building decorated in the height of geek-chic, plastic and vulgar and pretentious.
The dining room was fairly empty. She demanded, and got, a table in a secluded corner.
They ordered from a huge menu filled with glorious descriptions of crackling this and fresh that, and sizzling the other. Hamish ordered fish and chips-"Sea-fresh haddock in golden crispy batter and pommes frites"-and she ordered steak and a baked potato-"Prime cut of Angus with floury baked potato and lashings of fresh Scottish butter."
Detective Inspector Chater surveyed Hamish curiously. "You are a little better than I expected."
"What did you expect?"
"You don't look as stupid as I expected."
Hamish raised his eyebrows.
She clasped neat little hands with well-manicured and unpolished nails on the table.
"These are the facts as they were given to me. You suspect there is something fishy in the death of a junkie, even though it seems a perfectly straightforward overdose. So you take leave, take a job in some weird church and then go calling on two of the dead man's former flatmates. Once there, for God knows what mad reason, you pose as a drug baron and say you've got fifty thousand pounds to pay for heroin. Instead of sticking a knife in you or saying they didn't know what you were talking about, this unlovely pair-we've checked on them-who do not even have a record, promptly play your game." Her eyes took in his outfit of old sweater, frayed shirt and paint-stained trousers. "My guess is that they were playing games with you. How on earth could anyone take you for a drug baron?"
Hamish leaned back in his chair and his face suddenly became a mask of sneering arrogant insolence and his eyes stone-hard. "Why not?" he drawled.
"If you looked like that, they might just have fallen for it, but I doubt it. Anyway, I've been dragged up from Glasgow to play this comedy through to the end."
"Have you got the money?" asked Hamish.
"No, I haven't got the money. Are you mad? We both go to Lachie's for the meet and take it from there. What we want to find out is not if Lachie is dealing but where the supplies come in. The west coast of Scotland is such a maze of sea lochs and creeks, it could be anywhere."
"And who are you supposed to be?"
She gave a little sigh. "I am supposed to be your wife. They've got a house for us."
"And who are we?"
"I will give you the big names in one of the main Glasgow syndicates and brief you on what to say. You are Hamish George-I believe that's the name you were using at the church."
"How did you know that?"
"We have our methods, Watson."
"I'll need to know your first name. I cannae call you ma'am the whole time."
"It's Olivia."
Hamish smiled. "A pretty name."
"Don't get any ideas, Constable, and remember at all times when we are not on the job that I am your superior officer."
"Yes, ma'am," said Hamish meekly,
"You may as well start calling me Olivia and get into the act. Here's our food."
Hamish picked away at a truly dreadful plate of fish and chips while Olivia sawed her way through a tough steak.
"Tell me, ma'am," he said. "I mean Olivia, are you going to be dressed like that?"
"No, I shall look the part. What about you?"
"I've got a good suit," said Hamish proudly, who had bought a Savile Row one in a thrift shop.
"We'll lend you some accessories. A gold Rolex, few bits like that."
"I'll go home this evening and get my suit."
"That's the last time you'll go near that police station of yours until this is all over. What will you tell them at the church?"
"I don't need to tell them anything," said Hamish with a grin. He told her about the loan sharking.
"Good. We'll pull them in today and keep them in. No bail for them." She took out a notebook and wrote in it and tore off a leaf. "That's our address. Be there at seven this evening. I'll go and tell headquarters about the church. Get back there and pack up your stuff. If they're around, pick a quarrel with them and walk out."
"Want coffee?" asked Hamish.
"No, I'll be off. See you later."
Olivia made her way briskly out of the restaurant. It was then that Hamish realised he did not have enough money on him to pay the bill and that he had left his chequebook and bank cards back in Lochdubh, not wanting to take them to the church in case the Owens searched his belongings.
The dining room was empty apart from four other diners. Hamish's waitress appeared to be the only one on duty. She was standing looking out of the window.
"Here, you!" called Hamish rudely. "What about bringing some coffee?"
She threw him an outraged look and stalked off into the kitchen.
Hamish slid out of his seat and was out of the restaurant and out of the hotel door as fast as he could.
He could not afford a cab and so had to walk all the way back to the church. To his relief, there was no sign of the Owens.
He packed up his few belongings and put them into Sean's old car and drove off.
He stopped at Sean's to pick up the police Land Rover and tried to persuade the old man to give him a refund because he hadn't had the car all week.
"Away with ye," said Sean. "That's a valuable car and twenty-five pounds was a damn cheap price for a week's rental. I should've charged you more."
Hamish had a fleeting, treacherous thought that maybe he should have taken Tommy's parents' money. He drove back to the police station.
Lochdubh lay spread out under a sunny, breezy sky. Wind whipped up the sea loch into waves. Washing on lines flapped gaily like flags welcoming him home. He felt he had been away for years instead of a matter of hours. Inside him, he felt a little twinge of dread. What if he could not pull it off? What if his cover was blown? What if it came to the crunch and he was asked for the money? He could not envisage Strathbane police headquarters handing over fifty thousand pounds.
