by Amy Lillard
“About Mallory?” she asked hopefully.
“About Heather.”
His wife.
“JD, I—”
“No. Let me finish. This concerns you, too.” He scooted closer to her, so that they were sitting nearly side by side but facing opposite directions. “All these years I’ve let you believe that I was in love with Heather. That I went behind your back and dated her.”
Got her pregnant. “It’s not important anymore.”
“It is. See, I let you believe all that thinking it would be easier for you if you hated me.” He sucked in a deep breath. “I never went on a date with Heather. But every time I turned around, there she was, dogging my heels. After the championship game, someone threw a party. I have no excuse. She was there, and I was weak.”
Elizabeth wanted to stop him, put her fingers across his lips and hush the words she didn’t want to hear. She’d thought her heart was broken all those years ago, but hearing him recount what really happened fractured it all over again. This time for him, as well as her, and for everything they could have had together.
“The next day, I knew I’d made a mistake. But I wasn’t worried. You and I were meant to be together, and nothing could stand between that. At least, that’s what I thought.”
He met her gaze, and Elizabeth swore she could see a decade and a half of remorse there, simmering, needing to be shared.
“Heather…she saw herself as an NFL wife, sitting in the stands with the camera on her. When I got hurt and she realized I wasn’t going to play again, she changed. That’s when I knew the mistake I’d made was bigger than I could have imagined.”
Elizabeth reached out a hand and laid it on his arm. She wasn’t the only one who had suffered all these years. She wanted to tell him how sorry she was, but her throat was clogged with regret. That, and that alone, kept her from breaking her promise of no more apologies.
“She was leaving me when she crashed. She hit a deer and flipped her car. They say she died on impact.”
“And you never told me,” she managed to whisper.
JD shrugged, the motion jerky and stiff. “What difference would it have made? I’d already crushed your image of me. You hated me.”
“I didn’t mean it.”
“There was too much hurt.”
Elizabeth scooted closer to him and laid a hand on his cheek. A muscle twitched in his jaw, testament to the myriad of emotions surging through him. “I was hurt, but I still loved you with all my heart.”
“It was too late to go back.”
She leaned in closer, till she could smell the sweet scent of the cherry wine on his breath and breathe in the same air. “I thought we were going forward.”
She didn’t give him time to answer. She covered his mouth with hers, letting the kiss erase away past hurts, lies, and half-truths, everything that had been keeping them apart.
“Beth,” he whispered before cupping her face in his hands and taking charge.
His kiss was everything she remembered, and yet it was all new.
Elizabeth fisted her hands in his shirt and held him close, now was not the time for moving away. But for all her efforts, JD showed no intentions of breaking the connection.
He pulled the ponytail holder from her hair and let it tumble around her shoulders. While he ran his fingers through the tresses, his lips remained on hers, searching for the forgiveness that she so readily offered.
But it wasn’t enough. She needed more. She pushed her hands under the hem of his T-shirt, exploring the muscled planes underneath. He felt the same and yet different to her trembling fingers. Warm, solid, and familiar, yet mature, comforting and disturbing all at once. She slipped her arms around his middle, holding him close like she had wanted to do since the first time she had seen him again. It was true. She had always belonged to JD Carmichael. Since the very beginning, all those years ago, she was his. And he was hers.
She didn’t protest as he leaned back, taking her with him as he stretched out on her grandmother’s quilt under that big apple tree. She followed him down, lying crossways on top of him, feeling his heat and desire. For her.
She sighed. The years, the hurt, they all melted away leaving the two of them and today.
He pulled her lips from his, staring into her eyes for the span of a heartbeat before burying his face in the side of her neck, nuzzling and kissing the tender skin under her hair.
“I’ve missed you so much,” he whispered, punctuating his words with a small nip.
Goose bumps scattered across her skin despite the heat of the day. He could do that to her, defy all logic and rules of the universe. He had that much power over her. Not that she was complaining. It was merely an observation of just how completely she belonged in his arms.
She pulled his mouth back to hers, opening her lips and inviting him in. To explore, to reclaim all that had been his so long ago.
He obliged her, shifting their weight and rolling her beneath him. His solid form covering hers was like an anchor, a port in the storm of their desire. And his hands…
Those rough palms slid under her shirt, sending more than shivers skimming across the tender skin of her stomach. His thumb dipped down into her belly button as his fingers journeyed upward, pushing her bra aside to capture her in his warm palms.
Elizabeth moaned her pleasure into his mouth. She had missed him too. His smile. His touch. The way he made her feel like the most beautiful, most desired, woman in the whole state of Texas.
A buzz like an electric shock started near her hip and persisted.
JD stilled, his eyes closed against the interruption.
Elizabeth pulled the phone from her pocket. She stared at tiny screen and the message from her brother Charlie. When do you need me?
She choked back a laugh—or was it a sob? — as she read the words her brother sent from half the world away. How could she say what she needed if she didn’t know herself?
Her fingers trembled so badly, she couldn’t answer him. Instead, she tossed the phone on the blanket, hating it for interrupting. She felt cold as JD moved away.
“JD, I—”
He shook his head as he pushed himself to his feet and retrieved his own phone. “Yeah. Sorry, Mal. I guess I lost track of the time.” He locked eyes with Elizabeth, and she felt the touch as surely as he had clasped his hand around hers. “Yes, baby, I’ll be there in a few.” He hung up and pocketed his phone, then ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve got to—”
“I know.” She tried to keep her disappointment from showing. She could only hope that he hated the interruption as much as she, but she wasn’t sure.
It was better this way. Maybe if she kept telling herself that, she would eventually believe it was true.
She couldn’t read the set of his shoulders, and the downward turn of his mouth could mean anything. She gathered up the containers and loaded them back into the basket.
“Bethie Grace, I’m—”
She shook her head. “I thought we weren’t going to apologize anymore.” She didn’t want to hear him say how sorry he was for kissing her. Not when it felt so right to be in his arms again.
He gave her a curt nod, then picked up the picnic basket and headed around the house.
Elizabeth watched him go, promising herself that this time she wouldn’t cry as he walked away.
Chapter Six
After JD left, Elizabeth pulled herself together and started on the closets again, but her concentration was shot. There were still so many questions she needed to ask. Like why he hadn’t believed in them, why he chose now to tell her the truth. But all that would have to wait.
Even though it was just little after five, she gathered up her pajamas and climbed the stairs to take a shower.
As she washed her hair, she wondered if she should call him, but immediately decided against it. It was for the best that he’d left when he did. There was still too much between them that needed to be resolved.
She went through
her bath time rituals on autopilot. Her thoughts centered around JD as she smoothed lotion on her arms and legs, dried her hair, and brushed her teeth. She had been so caught up, she hadn’t given any thought to the time or the fact that she hadn’t eaten dinner yet.
She pulled on a pair of silky, pink men’s styled pjs and padded down the stairs.
Her foot hit the last step as the doorbell rang. JD! Maybe he’d come back to explain. Or at least to talk it out.
She flew across the foyer and yanked open the door without checking to see who was standing on the porch. “JD?”
“Surprise!” Candy and Ginger pushed past her carrying grocery sacks and a six pack of Diet Dr. Pepper.
“Hi.” Elizabeth closed the door and hoped her voice didn’t sound as disappointed as she felt. She wasn’t sorry that her friends were there, she just wished she could talk to JD. “Please tell me you didn’t drive over here dressed like that.” She gestured to her two high school besties.
In unison, they looked down at their pajamas and back up to her.
“Of course we did,” Candy scoffed. “How else were we supposed to get here? It is a slumber party after all. And look, you’re already dressed.”
Elizabeth looked questionably to Ginger.
The redhead shrugged.
“We brought everything we need for a party,” Candy continued. “I think we should stay up all night watching movies and telling ghost stories.”
“No ghost stories.” Ginger shook her head.
“You’re such a wimp,” Candy said, her small chuckle taking the sting from her words.
“We called Holly, but she couldn’t make it. Some big shindig at the governor’s mansion tomorrow,” Ginger said.
“But she promised to be here for Founder’s Day and the chili cook-off next weekend,” Candy added.
Elizabeth hoped so. She would hate to leave the area and not see Holly. Who knew when she would get back out this way again? But that meant one more week in Loveless. One more week within touching distance of JD Carmichael.
Candy reached into the sack she’d balanced on her protruding belly and pulled out a bag of chocolate candies, which she tossed to Ginger. “For you, madam.” Then she lowered her voice into the loudest stage whisper Elizabeth had ever heard. “She’s had a bad week.”
“What happened?” Elizabeth turned to Ginger.
“Nothing really. Just same ol’ same ol’.”
“She can’t keep good help. No one wants to get up at four in the morning and bake muffins.”
Elizabeth made a face. “I don’t blame them.”
“It wouldn’t be so bad if I had reliable afternoon help,” Ginger added. “Then I could leave at a decent hour instead of working fifteen hours a day.”
Dark circles underlined Ginger’s incredible green eyes. Elizabeth wished she could help her friend. But she’d long ago broken any contacts she had in Loveless.
“Enough,” Candy declared. “It’s time to get this party started.” She set the grocery sack on the couch and pulled out a bag of chips and a bottle of fingernail polish remover. “What do you want to do first? Eat or do our nails.”
“Rest.” Ginger collapsed into the armchair and put her feet up on the ottoman. “The house looks nice, Bethie Grace.”
Gut instinct had her wanting to correct her friend, but it was probably time to accept that her friends weren’t going to start calling her Elizabeth anytime soon. Bethie Grace didn’t seem as out of place in Texas as it did in California. “Thanks. It’s been a chore.” In more ways than one.
“I can see that.” Ginger nodded to the stacks of boxes labeled for charity. “You ought to take that stuff into San Antonio to one of the consignment shops. You could make a bundle.”
Elizabeth shook her head. “I’m not going to be here long enough for that. I just need to get it out of JD’s way. Goodwill can decide from there.”
Ginger shrugged as if to say ‘your loss.’
“So tell me, Bethie Grace.” Candy popped open a bag of potato chips before digging around in the sack to retrieve the dip. “Why did you call out JD’s name when you opened the door?”
“I did not.” Heat rose into her cheeks. She hadn’t done that. Had she? She turned to Ginger who nodded. Elizabeth crossed her arms and sniffed. “I do believe you’re mistaken.”
“Uh-huh.” Candy scraped another chip through the dip and stuffed it into her mouth.
“Truce,” Ginger called, throwing her arms out like a referee at a football game. “This is a party, not an interrogation.”
Elizabeth gave a nod, though it felt more like a jerk of her head. She hadn’t really called his name. She had been thinking about him, but that was all. After their kiss this afternoon who could blame her?
“What? The TV doesn’t work?”
Elizabeth turned toward Ginger who was flipping the channels as if her life depended on it. Each one showed nothing but static.
She shook her head. “No cable.”
Ginger looked to Candy. “There goes watching Nick at Nite reruns.”
“We’ve got manicures to do anyhow.” She started dragging supplies out of the bottomless grocery sack.
Elizabeth smiled to herself, wondering if Candy had been planning this night ever since she’d left Loveless.
****
Why was he here? He had the night off, the house to himself. He should be watching the ’79 Packers-Steelers game. Instead, he was dragging himself onto the porch of Georgia McGee’s house, wondering if he should kiss Bethie Grace senseless or apologize, then do everything in his power to steer clear of her for the rest of the time that she was in Loveless. One thing was certain, it wasn’t over between them. Whatever ‘it’ was.
He walked up the steps and raised his hand to knock, stopping only when he noticed Candy’s minivan parked in the side yard.
What was she doing here?
This was a bad idea. He should just turn around and go home. Pretend like nothing had ever happened.
“I’m sure I saw something.”
Ginger.
The curtains in the front window stirred, and JD imagined the women were peeking out, trying to decide if he was real or in their imagination. If he remained where he was for a few minutes more, they would go back to what they were doing, and he could ease back down the steps and drive away with no one the wiser. Over between them or not, he and Bethie Grace were from different worlds now. There was no common ground between them. She’d be going home to LA soon, and he would stay in Loveless. Wasn’t much more that could be said about that.
Suddenly, the front door jerked open, and there stood Bethie Grace McGee.
“I’m sure you’re just—JD.” A hand flew to her chest as if to hold her heart in place.
“See I told you,” Candy triumphantly exclaimed. “She’s got JD on the brain.”
“No, he’s on the porch,” Ginger said.
Bethie Grace stared as if she were soaking him up for a rainy day. Or maybe that was how he felt about her.
“Hi,” he finally said. “I didn’t know you had guests. I’ll just—” He gestured back to his truck.
“Where’s Mallory?”
“At a friend’s.”
“Hey, JD.”
He gave a small wave to Candy. Then turned his attention to Bethie Grace. She looked amazing in her pink pajamas, comfortable. Like every day. Like marriage and forever. Things he would never have with her. “I should go.”
Bethie Grace looked back at her friends, then stepped outside, pulling the door closed behind her.
He swore he caught the swish of the curtains in the front window before he turned his attention back to Bethie Grace.
“You came over here for a reason,” she said.
“I just…” Why was being around her like going back fifteen years? Then again, he’d never been quite this tongue tied around her back then. “This afternoon…” He ran a quick hand through his hair. “Never mind. It was a bad idea.”
“
Coming here or this afternoon?”
“Both.” He released a derisive chuckle.
“It was a couple of kisses, JD. That’s all.” She shook her head and reached behind her for the doorknob. “Night,” she said turning away.
“That’s all, huh?” Why did he take her words as a personal challenge? He took a step closer to her, his breath stirring the tendrils of hair that had escaped from her ponytail. “Are you sure about that?” He dropped a whisper of a kiss on the side of her jaw, satisfied when a shiver ran through her.
Whatever was burning between them, it was more than a few kisses.
“That didn’t feel very honorable,” she whispered.
“I think my good intentions have left the building.”
A resounding thump punctuated his words. He pulled his gaze from Bethie Grace and eyed the window. The curtains quickly swished back into place. “I should go.” He said the words, when his heart told him to pull her close regardless of their audience. But that road led to certain heartache. “I shouldn’t have come here.”
Elizabeth nodded, unable to say the words. She’d been holding it together ever since she’d opened the door. She wasn’t going to be able to keep this up for much longer.
JD pressed his lips together, then dipped his head. But still he continued to stand there staring at her, staring through her, as if he knew she’d been lying when she’d said this afternoon was nothing special.
It was more than special, but it didn’t change anything. She was going back to LA soon. And that was just the way she wanted it.
“Goodnight,” she said, then twisted the door open and slipped inside before he could stop her.
Elizabeth leaned her back against the polished wood and took a deep breath.
“Well?” Candy and Ginger stared at her, but she could only shake her head. Then she heard his truck start up and pull out into the street. A few minutes later, the sound was lost into the night, and he was gone.
She pushed herself off the door. “Well, what?” Perfect. Pretend like she didn’t know what they were talking about. That should stall them for about thirty seconds.
