by Marta Perry
She took a deep breath and forced a smile as she neared them. “Hi. Looks like you guys are having fun.”
“Swing,” Davy said, grinning. “I swing.”
“You sure do, Davy-boy.” Seth pushed him higher, making Davy squeal and making her heart clench.
That had to be safe, even though it looked scary. They wouldn’t have play equipment that wasn’t safe in a public park.
Davy swung toward her, his small face lit with laughter. Something about his expression reminded her of Lisa. And that pointed chin—he’d inherited that from his mother, surely.
She realized Seth was watching her. Realized, too, that she’d been staring at his son.
She set her camera bag down and pulled out her camera. Taking pictures, remember? That’s why she was here.
“I’m afraid I won’t get anything in focus while he’s sailing through the air like that.”
Maybe Seth would take the hint and have him do something that looked safer.
“Sure.” Seth grabbed the swing. “How about showing Julie how you can climb, okay?”
“Okay.” Davy held up his arms, and Seth lifted him from the swing to the ground. The moment his tiny sneakers touched the grass, he was off and running toward a pyramid made of plastic stairs and boxes.
“Goodness.” She grabbed for the camera bag. “I didn’t realize how fast he’d move.”
Seth took the camera bag, his hand brushing hers. “Perpetual motion, that’s my son.” They walked toward the climbing apparatus. “Do you want me to get him to pose?”
“No, let him play. A natural shot is always better. Just harder to get.”
She stole a glance at Seth. He’d traded his uniform for a pair of khaki pants and a rust-colored polo shirt that brought out the reddish highlights in his brown hair. Walking next to him made her aware of his height and his solid, masculine strength.
She’d have expected a man like Seth to attract a host of women eager to take on the role of Davy’s stepmother. Her heart lurched. Maybe he had and she just didn’t know it.
Davy stopped climbing when he reached the level of her head and grinned at her. She snapped off a series of pictures as quickly as the camera would focus.
Seth leaned casually against the apparatus, watching her. “You move pretty fast yourself.”
“That’s the only way with small children.” She studied Davy’s small face through the viewfinder. “Take lots of pictures and hope you get some keepers.”
“I find it hard to throw any away, even when they’re terrible.”
“We used to say the film was the cheapest part of the process—now I’m using space on the disk, but the theory’s still true. And it’s easier to discard what doesn’t work than miss a shot that might.”
With a quicksilver move, Davy darted down and raced to a shiny plastic climber shaped like a small mountain. Before they reached him, he’d run straight up it. She gasped, heart in her throat.
“Relax.” Seth caught her hand in his. “I know it looks slippery, but it’s not. He’s okay.”
Davy balanced at the top. He laughed, flapping his arms as if he’d take off and fly.
“It looks pretty scary to me.”
Presumably Seth knew more than she did about what was safe for an almost-three-year-old to do. Still, the urge to protect Davy swept over her, making her want to scoop him up and hold him tight.
Seth stepped up onto the mountain and tugged at her hand. “Come on. You’ll see.” He scuffed his shoe against the surface. “Safe.”
She let him pull her up next to him. Her momentum carried her too far. Her shoes clung to the soft, sticky surface, and she bumped against Seth. His arm went around her in an instant, holding her securely against him.
She suppressed the urge to lean into his strength. She couldn’t feel that—couldn’t feel anything for Seth. She straightened, groping for something to say that would get them back on an even keel.
“Grown-ups probably aren’t allowed on this thing, are they?”
“Probably not.” He grinned. “Do you always follow the rules, Ms. White?”
He made it sound boring.
“Most of the time.”
All of the time. She’d grown up following the rules, because that was what her father expected, and crossing him was unthinkable.
Davy slid down the side of the mountain on his bottom, running into his father. Seth grabbed him and tossed him into the air, making her breath catch again.
Seth must have heard. He glanced at her. “Too rough for you?” There was a slight edge under his friendly tone, as if he detected a criticism of his parenting.
“He looks so little.”
“He’s a tough guy, aren’t you, Davy?” He tickled the boy, and Davy convulsed in giggles.
“I’ll have to take your word for it. I don’t know much about children.”
She tried to smile. She couldn’t afford to offend Seth, not if she wanted to see more of Davy.
“No married friends asking you to babysit?”
She shook her head. He wasn’t asking if she was lonely, so why did it feel that way? She had a busy, successful life. Once she was sure her sister’s child was all right, she’d return to it with no regrets.
Davy put his arms around his father’s neck and leaned his head against Seth’s. The unconscious trust of the gesture moved her. Leaving Davy without having regrets was hopeless.
“You don’t have any little nieces and nephews running around after you?”
Seth’s voice had softened. He couldn’t know that he’d just driven a dagger right to her heart.
“Afraid not.” Her voice didn’t sound natural, even to herself.
“That’s too bad.” He swung Davy to the ground. “These little monsters add a lot to your life.”
She wanted to tell him. The urge was so strong she had to clamp her lips shut on the words until the feeling passed.
That was the trouble with being around Seth. He was the kind of person who was everyone’s friend. The kind of person you could trust and confide in.
But she couldn’t, and he was looking at her as if he read her feelings on her face.
She swung the camera up, automatically hiding her expression from his observant eyes. Over Seth’s shoulder, she caught a glimpse of a man doing the same.
It was a quick impression, gone in an instant. But it sent an unpleasant sensation creeping down her spine.
“What is it?” Seth was looking at her strangely.
“That man over by the soccer field—it looked as if he was taking a picture of us.”
Seth glanced in the direction she’d indicated. The man, slinging his camera over his shoulder, strolled away in an unhurried manner.
Seth shrugged. “Lots of people take pictures in the park. You are, and that’s perfectly innocent.”
Innocent. The word stuck in her heart.
“I guess you’re right. I just thought he’d focused on us.” She bent over to clear her head, pretending to look for something in the camera bag.
She wasn’t perfectly innocent. Maybe she was projecting her own guilty feelings onto other people. She tried to look up at Seth, tried to smile naturally.
He returned her smile, something a little cautious in his eyes. A shiver of panic went through her. How long could she possibly keep this up?
Chapter Five
“Julie.” Siobhan Flanagan’s face lit with a welcoming smile. “Come in, please. I’m so happy to see you.”
“Thank you.”
She edged inside the Flanagan house, hoping she wasn’t going to run right into Seth. Those moments at the park that afternoon had been emotionally dangerous enough to last her for a while.
“Let me take your jacket.” Siobhan touched her arm, drawing her into the warm living room.
“I just wanted to drop off some photos for you.” She clutched her camera bag in self-defense. “I can’t stay.”
A quick look around showed her that the room was empty except for them. Her t
ension eased slightly.
“Surely you can sit down and have a cup of tea or coffee with me while we look at the pictures. Everyone’s out tonight and Davy’s in bed.” Siobhan smiled. “All this quiet is rare, believe me.”
Seth wasn’t there. Relief mingled with regret at the news, and she shouldn’t have been feeling either of those things.
“If you’re sure I’m not intruding, I’d love a cup of tea.” A quiet tête-à-tête with Siobhan, the woman who was now Davy’s only mother figure, could answer a lot of her questions.
“Of course you’re not.” Siobhan hung her jacket on the old-fashioned bentwood coat rack that stood just inside the door. “Come along into the kitchen while I make it.”
They pushed through a swinging door into the kitchen, where pine cabinets, herbs on the windowsills and a scrubbed pine table created a sense of warmth and acceptance. While Siobhan filled a kettle with water, Julie began spreading photographs on the tabletop.
Her fingers lingered on a close-up of Davy wearing that intent expression that reminded her so much of Lisa. She’d printed out an extra one of those. That picture would travel with her from now on.
Adjusting the images and printing out the finished product had been a soothing exercise after those moments at the park. Funny, that something that looked like a very ordinary scene—a man and a woman at a park with a child—could have been filled with so much emotion.
On her part, she reminded herself. No one else had experienced what she’d been feeling. It had been just an ordinary afternoon to Seth and Davy. They wouldn’t know that she’d be holding the memory in her heart for good.
“Ah, those are wonderful.” Siobhan leaned over the table, her eyes filled with love as she looked at the pictures. “You’ve caught that child in a way no one else has.” Her dark eyes misted. “Thank you, Julie.”
She had to choke down a lump in her throat. “You’re welcome. He’s a very special little boy.”
Siobhan turned away to pour the tea and came back to the table with two steaming mugs. She set them carefully away from the prints.
“He is that. Mind, as a grandmother I love them all just as much.”
“You’re really being a mother to Davy, though, aren’t you?” She held her breath, hoping the question didn’t offend.
“I’ve had him since he was six weeks old. Of course, I have lots of help. Seth is more than just a daddy, and the others all pitch in.”
“Seth’s work schedule must make that difficult, doesn’t it?”
Siobhan shrugged, stirring her tea. “Well, we’re used to firefighters’ schedules. That’s all we’ve ever known in this house.”
Three days on and two off, then do it over again, Seth had told her when she’d asked about the working hours. That meant someone had to be taking up the slack at home.
“You’re the one who’s always here for Davy. He’s lucky to have you.”
Siobhan nodded. “Of course, if Seth gets married, that will change things.”
There was no reason why that casual comment should make her feel as if she’d taken a blow to the stomach. She kept her gaze on the swirling tea and the movement of her spoon.
“I didn’t know he was serious about anyone.”
“Well, not to say serious. He has this idea that he’ll find someone who’ll be a companion to him and a good mother to Davy.” Her raised eyebrows invited Julie to join her opinion of that.
“You don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I don’t think any of my children should settle for less than a soul mate.”
“Maybe he feels he already had that with his wife.” She was treading carefully, unsure of the territory. What had Siobhan thought of her sister?
“Maybe.” She sounded a little doubtful. “That doesn’t mean God doesn’t still have a great love in store for him.” A soft smile played on Siobhan’s lips. “I don’t want him to settle for giving less than his whole heart to a woman and receiving the same from her.”
The words echoed in her head. A wholehearted love—that was what the Flanagans expected for themselves. They hadn’t known the damage that could be done to a person’s heart by a loveless childhood.
Had Lisa learned how to love like that when she’d met Seth? Julie hoped so.
The back door swung open. Terry, Seth’s younger sister, came in, slinging an armload of books onto the counter closest to the door. By the looks of the countertop, all the Flanagans did the same.
“Hi, Mom. Hi, Julie. Any more tea in that pot?” Terry leaned over the photos, red curls tumbling around her face. “Wow, these are terrific. Are they for us?”
“They’re for me,” Siobhan said with mock severity as she poured a cup of tea for her daughter. “I just might share if you’re very good.”
“Aw, Mom, come on. I bet you’d let Ryan have them. He’s the baby. He always gets everything.”
Julie was about to offer to make more prints when she realized this was a game they were playing. Siobhan dropped a light kiss on her daughter’s hair and set the cup down next to her.
“Stop it now, Teresa. Poor Julie doesn’t know what to make of us.”
She must be more transparent than she thought if Siobhan saw that so readily. She smiled. “It’s nice to see a mother and daughter enjoying each other’s company.”
Terry looked as if there was a question on the tip of her tongue, but Siobhan headed her off with a comment about the paramedic course that Terry was apparently taking. They talked about the class for a few minutes, giving Julie a chance to regroup.
What was it about these Flanagans? She’d betrayed something about herself with her reactions, and both women had caught it.
She didn’t talk about her mother’s desertion—didn’t even think about it. So why would it come to the surface just because she saw the bond between Siobhan and Terry?
She studied the women’s faces. Terry obviously looked more like her father, but there was a certain similarity in the way they talked, the way they gestured, that would betray their relationship to anyone who studied them closely.
Her fingers itched to pull out the camera, as if she could capture that relationship with it. What was she doing here? A sense of loss swept through her. Davy had everything he could need in this house.
“Hey, what’s going on in here?” Seth pushed through the swinging door and then stopped when he saw her, his expression changing.
“Hi, Julie.” He clearly hadn’t expected to see her here, sitting cozily at the table with his mother and sister.
She started to say she was just leaving, but Terry got in first.
“Back from your date already, big brother? It must have really been a dud.”
He sent her an annoyed glance. “Ruth had to be at work early tomorrow.”
“That’s what women say when it hasn’t gone well, trust me.” Terry elbowed Julie. “Isn’t that right, Julie?”
She got up, shaking her head. “I’m not touching that one with a ten-foot pole. I’d better be going. I’m glad you like the photos.”
Should she be ashamed of feeling glad that his date apparently hadn’t worked out? Well, she was only thinking of what was best for Davy. She hoped.
Siobhan rose, surprising her with a hug. “I can’t thank you enough, Julie.” She looked at her son. “You’re walking Julie to her car, aren’t you?”
“I don’t need—”
Seth took her hand, momentarily robbing her of speech. “Don’t bother to argue. My mother always wins. I’ll walk you out.”
Seth followed Julie out the front door. She stopped suddenly, looking up at him, at the porch steps.
“You really don’t have to walk me out. I’m capable of getting into my own car.”
“I know. I know.” He held up both hands in a gesture of surrender, wondering if she’d taken offense. “Trouble is, my mother sometimes treats me as if I’m still a little kid.”
Her lips twitched. “You let her.”
“Hey, she
’s still the best cook in town.” He took her arm. “Please, let me walk you to your car so I don’t get into trouble with her.”
She nodded, falling into step with him. He saw her rental car now—should have noticed it when he’d pulled in, but she’d parked out on the street instead of coming into the driveway like everyone else did.
“It must be comforting, knowing your mom is there to look after Davy when you’re working.” Her voice was as soft as the rustle of leaves underfoot.
“It is.” His throat tightened, catching him by surprise. He didn’t let himself dwell on Lisa’s death very often, but the grief was still there. “I don’t know what I’d do without her. Without all of them.”
“Still, you must sometimes wish—” She let that trail off, but he understood.
“Sometimes you just have to make the best of what life hands you.” They’d reached her car and he leaned against it, not ready for the conversation to come to an end.
“Even if it’s taken a ninety-degree turn from what you expected.” She tilted her head back to look at him, and her face and hair were pale in the moonlight.
“That’s for sure.” How was it that someone he barely knew could be so understanding? “I thought Lisa and I would be like my sister Mary Kate and her husband by now, with two kids and a mortgage on a house of our own.”
“You might still have that with someone else.”
He shrugged, wondering why her words made him uncomfortable. After all, it was what he’d been thinking himself.
“You gathered from my nosy sister that I was out on a date tonight.” He grimaced. “And that it didn’t go well.”
“I’m sorry.” She shook her head, smiling faintly. “I’m sure you didn’t want me to hear that.”
“Just promise me you won’t use it in the story.”
“I promise.” She touched his hand. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”
Her light touch was affecting him more than it should. He gave in to the impulse to clasp her hand in his.
“A miscalculation on my part. Ruth is kind, pleasant and agreeable. And it was the most boring dinner I’ve ever sat through. The worst thing is, she was probably thinking the same thing about me.”
