I shivered.
He shook his head before continuing. “Can’t say as I know what t’make of it but I don’ think your Daddy’s restin’ comf’terble down here.”
He turned his head toward the approaching curtain of rain and another lightning streak threw his face into strobe-like relief. The crack of thunder that followed was much closer this time.
“Best find shelter, Miz Suzanna. Looks like this one’s gonna stir things up a mite.”
Before I could collect my thoughts, he was gone, striding stiff-legged across the lawns toward the stables. I stared after him, his words repeating themselves in my mind. For the first time, suspicion filled my mind. Rudy’s instincts, less influenced by grief, uncovered a snakepit of doubt that, up until now, I’d ignored.
The wind whipped viciously, sending my hair swirling about my face. Dry leaves ripped from the tree and swooped about like disembodied wings. The branches groaned and creaked as they swayed stiffly and the first tentative drops of rain spattered across the face of Leo’s stone, bringing out the color and making it shine in the lowering gloom. Another streak of lightning slit the sky directly above me—so close I heard it hiss as it cut the air. The clap that followed made me jump with fright and I turned to run for cover.
In that brief moment as I whirled, my eyes raked the forest’s edge and there, immobile against the blackness behind, I saw him again, shadowed and obscure. This time, I knew he was no a camper or hitchhiker. And this time, I didn’t want to find out who he was. I ran back toward the house as fast as I could just as the clouds opened and spilled their contents in a blinding, soaking torrent.
Chapter Five
Envy and calumny and hate and pain,
And that unrest which men miscall delight,
Can touch him not and torture not again;
From the contagion of the world’s slow stain
He is secure and now can never mourn
A heart grown cold, a head grown grey in vain.
Mary Godwin Shelley, Adonis stanza 40
I announced my decision that evening after dinner. There was no point keeping the family in suspense any longer. They were gathered in the living room. Originally this room was called the front parlor but since its introduction to all the latest recreational gadgets, it was now a favorite place to retire after dinner, to relax and enjoy a bit of frivolity. Alicia spent many hours here viewing old movies on DVD or practicing dance steps to musical soundtracks. Colin whiled away the odd moment playing computer or video games and Grant often settled in with Giles for a game or two of chess.
It was a large, long room opening off the entrance hall and stretching across the western face of the house. It had been smartly arranged with individual groupings of furniture to accommodate varying pastimes. The TV and entertainment center was in the far corner. A huge stone fireplace filled the center of the inside wall, while just inside the entrance stood an ebony grand piano, its wrought iron bench covered in emerald velvet to match the draperies. When drawn, these drapes covered the entire north wall and hid the three sets of French doors that looked out onto the pillared front porch. At present, the veranda was dark with night shadows and wet with rain that continued to pelt down.
I released the tie that held the curtains and pulled the drawstring to shut out the raging storm. The lights were dimmed to lessen the glare on the television screen and the trio lounging indolently in front of it hardly noticed my entrance.
Colin was sprawled on the couch with Alicia curled on the shaggy rug at his feet, painting her toenails from a bottle balanced on the corner of the Victorian coffee table. Grant perched on the edge of a nearby chair, a cigarette and a glass of iced whisky at his elbow. The television droned out a weather forecast of continued rain with thunderstorms clearing by morning, followed by a series of advertisements with inane jingles that set my teeth on edge. I took the opportunity to switch off the set and faced the group. They stared at me with mixed surprise and irritation.
“Hey! What’s the idea?” Colin griped.
Alicia opened her mouth to speak, then, seeing my expression, shut it and put the brush carefully back into the bottle. Grant was silent but he watched me with interest through slitted eyes.
“I’ve something to say,” I announced, feeling all at once nervous and somewhat silly. They waited expectantly and I clasped my hands tight behind my back to keep them from shaking.
“I know you’ve all been waiting for me to decide about this ultimatum of Dad’s and I thought it was time to put your minds at ease. I went to Manistee today and left a copy of the will with a lawyer there to see if anything can be done to get around it.” I looked at the floor, anywhere but at Grant, though I still felt his eyes burning into me. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, Grant, I just wanted an unbiased opinion.”
I risked a glance in his direction and he seemed quite unperturbed, concentrating on extinguishing his cigarette.
“Good for you,” Alicia piped.
I continued, feeling more confident. “I don’t hold out much hope in that direction and officially, I won’t be deciding anything until I hear from him. But, unofficially—” I paused, realizing with rising panic that once the words were out of my mouth, I would not be able to take them back. “Unofficially,” I plunged on, “I’ve decided I can do nothing less than go along with the terms of the will.”
There—I’d said it. I was committed now. There was no turning back.
Silence hung palpably in the room. Outside, the rain beat against the windows like distant applause. The resonant murmur of retreating thunder caused the prisms in the chandelier to tinkle.
Colin let out his breath slowly, whispering, “Thank God!”
“It’s not God you need to thank,” Alicia spat at him under her breath.
Grant shifted and stood up, stretching lazily like a great panther climbing down off his rock to prepare for the evening hunt. I watched him, knowing with resentful embarrassment that I had placed myself unconditionally in his hands.
Before he could open his mouth to speak, however, I rushed on. “This marriage, of course, will be no more than a piece of paper and won’t take place at all if it isn’t understood by everyone that it’ll be on my terms.”
My look challenged him to deny this but he merely smiled. With rising indignation, I could see he found my statement amusing.
“Well,” he said finally. “I guess we should all be grateful to Suzanna, eh?”
His eyes sparkled dangerously and I turned my look on the others. Colin was obviously relieved, his eyes radiating puppy-like gratitude. Alicia, on the other hand, was stricken. Her face was ashen and her mouth was clamped tightly shut. She wasn’t looking at me but at Grant—an expression of spite.
Grant came to stand next to me. He placed a strong arm around my shoulders and gave me a squeeze that hurt. He was still smiling. “So, you’ve come down off your regal throne, my girl and deigned to bestow your gracious gifts upon mere mortals such as ourselves?”
“Grant, don’t,” I muttered, shaking off his arm and retreating to sink into a chair before my knees buckled.
“What’s the matter? Can’t put up with a hug from your fiancé?” He snorted and bent to retrieve his glass, downing the last of his whisky in one gulp. “Well, my dear adoptive relatives, has it ever occurred to any of you that I have an equal say in this decision that Suzanna has so magnanimously taken upon herself?”
I looked up at him in surprise.
“Yes, that’s right,” he said, seeing me blush. “You’ve been so keen to bemoan your own hideous fate, you forgot it takes two to tango.”
Alicia’s cheeks had regained some of their color and her eyes shifted victoriously to me. Her words, however, were sympathetic. “Really, Grant, how can you be so horrid? Of course, Suzanna knows you would want to go along with this. We all know you stand to gain the most in the long run.”
“Don’t pretend to know my mind, Alicia. I can think of easier ways to come up in the
world.”
Alicia laughed lightly. “Oh, Grant, you can be so silly!”
He shot her a venomous look and strode from the room. I watched him go with regret. He was right. It never occurred to me to speak to him first. I just assumed he’d made his decision. I’d even mentally accused him of somehow being a party to the plan for no other reason than to humiliate me.
I excused myself and followed him. As I guessed, he was in the library hunched over the bar with a bottle in front of him and a brimming glass in his hand.
“It won’t help to get drunk,” I admonished.
He glared at me and defiantly swallowed the entire contents of the glass, grimacing. “Don’t tell me you’re going to start nagging me already!”
I couldn’t help but smile. “I suppose I have to start somewhere.” Then more seriously, “I’m sorry if I didn’t speak to you first. I was wrong to assume you’d already accepted the will.”
He tipped the bottle over his glass. “Want some?” I shook my head.
“I should be used to being the odd man out around here,” he said. “But no matter how we look at it, the blessed Dirkston blood will never flow through my veins!”
Briefly, like the flicker of lightning beyond the windows, I glimpsed a hurt, resentful child beneath the armored shell in which Grant cloaked himself. I laid a hesitant hand on his arm. He tensed as though my touch was somehow threatening.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’ll go along with whatever you say.”
His expression was dubious, waiting for me to add some unsavory condition. When it was evident I’d say no more, he gave a tired, lopsided smile and nodded.
“Okay, it’s a deal.” He held out his hand. “Shall we shake on it?”
Our hands met in silent accord, lingering warmly before I pulled mine away and went to the windows to hide a confusing, illogical rush of emotions. The sky was black. Only the retreating blink of lightning outlined the roiling clouds and slanting veil of rain. I watched, fascinated and counted the seconds until the thunder rumbled in. Already the rain seemed to be abating, pattering more sedately on the bricks outside. I could just make out the pool. It too, was dark, though lights from the windows glinted off its surface, displaying the radiating ripples generated by each raindrop.
Suddenly the sky lit up again as if in a final effort to split the night. The lights in the house flickered and went out. The thunder cracked.
I froze, rooted to the spot, fingers splayed against the glass, mouth agape. I stared unblinking while the horror of what I saw registered. In a burst of possessed energy, I sprinted across the hall to the rear parlor, threw open the door to the patio and flung myself out into the rain. I reached the gate to the pool and fumbled numbly for the latch, shaking it in desperation. It opened and I burst through, my eyes wild, darting, searching.
I’d seen him. I was certain. My father—floating face-down in the rippling water! Without thinking, I plunged into the frigid pool, flailing madly as I searched. I couldn’t find him. I couldn’t see through the darkness and rain. My thrashing slowed. The weight of my clothes became unbearable, my breath came in gasps, my limbs were numb. I think I was sobbing. In utter exhaustion, I let the waters close over my head.
There in the total silence of the water’s depths, I heard it distinctly, as if he were very near. His voice called to me, pleaded with me, lured me down, until darkness and his voice were all that existed.
“Help me, Suzanna! Help me!”
But I couldn’t find him.
* * * * *
When I awoke, I was shivering uncontrollably and aware of three things—the rain beating down on me, the rough bricks scratching my cheek and a great weight pinning me flat. Someone was breathing heavily and I felt myself being squeezed relentlessly. I coughed, vomited water and groaned. The weight shifted and I was rolled over onto my back. I opened my eyes and Grant’s face appeared in front of me. His deep blue eyes were dilated with shock and confusion, his hair was plastered to his head like a sodden mitt. Water dripped from his nose and chin in large, lazy drops.
I laughed—or at least tried to. I couldn’t call the sound that issued from my mouth any more than a strangled choke but something must have told him this was a laugh because he laughed too, with utter relief.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
I nodded weakly. “What happened?”
He lifted me in his arms and carried me toward the house. “Christ, Suzie, I don’t know what came over you!”
I puzzled over this response for a moment, then let my head fall against his shoulder, feeling pleasantly lethargic and wonderfully secure. “It’s Suzanna,” I murmured.
Giles was called at once and appeared within minutes, his clothes and hair mussed but with his medical bag in hand. Martha was also present and had taken me aside to remove my wet clothes and wrap me snugly in a blanket. After, someone else curled my fingers around a cup of something warm. The lights were back on and everyone seemed to be hovering over me at once. I still shivered but not as violently. I was appalled Giles had been summoned from his home so hastily to tend to me when I knew I’d be fine in a few minutes.
“What happened here?” Giles demanded.
Colin and Alicia stared helplessly and turned to Grant, who in turn looked at me.
“I…I don’t know,” I stammered. My teeth were still chattering.
Giles handed me a tablet and gestured to the glass in my other hand. “Take this now. It’ll settle your nerves.”
Obediently, I placed the tablet in my mouth and gulped some water. My throat felt raw. After a few minutes, the shivering began to abate and I was able to speak coherently.
“All I know is I saw something floating in the pool. It looked—” I hesitated. “It looked like a body and…and I was sure it was Dad.” I shook my head slowly, trying to remove the image from my mind. “I don’t remember much more, just that I knew I had to get to him…to save him. I must’ve jumped in the pool.”
Giles listened, frowning and I saw him glance at Grant, who nodded confirmation. Alicia blanched and covered her mouth with her hand. Martha’s face was frozen. Even Colin had paled considerably.
David appeared in the doorway and rushed to my side. He hunkered down in front of me, his face a study of worried concern. “Are you all right? What happened?”
“I’m all right,” I assured him brusquely. The inanity of what I’d done was beginning to dawn and I felt ridiculous.
“I’d like to be alone with Suzanna,” Giles said quietly.
They all acquiesced with sympathetic murmuring but Grant hesitated, sending me a questioning glance.
“Don’t worry,” I reassured him. “I’m all right.” It pleased me that he cared, although I didn’t entirely understand why.
It didn’t take me long to convince Giles I’d merely suffered some sort of nervous hallucination brought on by the pressures of the past days. He gave me a bottle of sleeping tablets, adamant that I use them, then ordered me to bed.
After he left, David returned but I sent him away, claiming I was very tired and needed to get some rest. In truth, I wanted to be left alone. The reality of my little drama was now very vivid and it frightened me. I could still see with total clarity the body floating in the pool. I could feel the overpowering presence that beckoned to me in the silence underwater. With a wave of panic, I wondered if I might be losing my mind, remembering the other episodes involving strange, fleeting figures.
Grant came in after Giles and David left and sat down opposite me, fixing me with a penetrating stare that must have read my confusion.
“We’ve been wrong, Suzie,” he said quietly. “We and especially I, should’ve been more sensitive to your loss.”
I gazed at him. The sedative Giles had prompted me to swallow was beginning to take effect and a comfortable languor was creeping over me. I assessed Grant’s features lazily, admiring his chiseled jaw and his wide mouth with the small scar at one corner. I smiled.
“Y
ou saved my life,” I said. “I guess that means I owe you.”
He cocked a distracted brow, then smiled too, softening his face so it was warm and compellingly attractive.
“You do pick a helluva time for a swim,” he said and we both burst out laughing until tears ran down my cheeks and I leaned back in my cocoon of warmth, closed my eyes and sighed, truly exhausted.
“Up to bed with you,” he ordered and despite my feeble protests, scooped me up easily and carried me upstairs.
I was asleep before we reached my room and, for once, I didn’t dream.
I awoke early the next day still in a haze of lethargy I refused to give in to. I was determined to pursue a new course of action I’d hatched before the episode at the pool.
By seven, I was dressed and downstairs, careful not to disturb the rest of the household. The heady aroma of perking coffee beckoned me to the kitchen. I had over an hour before I needed to leave.
It was apparent Lottie Wilson had been busy for some time. Two apple pies cooled on a rack in front of the window while a batch of cinnamon buns was rising in their trays, nearly ready for the oven. She opened her mouth in surprise at the sight of me and wiped her hands on her apron, her face beaded with perspiration, a smudge of flour vivid against her ebony skin. Her hair was pulled back and contained in a fine mesh net.
“Why, Suzanna! I didn’t ’spect you to be down so soon! Shouldn’t you still be in bed?” Her warm brown eyes assessed me with concern.
“I’m fine, Lottie,” I grunted. It never failed to amaze me how fast gossip spread through the house. I’d almost hoped to get away without being reminded of last night’s performance. “Is that coffee ready? It smells delicious.”
She smiled and her broad face melted into gentle folds. “Why, you just sit down, honey and I’ll get it for you. Seems ages since you’ve been in here to visit me. I was beginning to wonder if you might’ve forgotten old Lottie!”
She poured the dark, steaming liquid from the blue-speckled pot on the stove and set the cup before me with a jug of milk and a bowl of sugar. I smiled apologetically.
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