ShadowsintheMist

by Maureen McMahon

  “What’s come over the two of you? Can’t you see what sort of state you’ve put her in? I assume she’s just come from the hospital. Is it your intention to put her right back there?”

  Grant shifted his gaze to me and blinked, bewildered. Colin unclenched his fists and remembering his duty, moved solicitously to his wife’s side.

  “I’m sorry, honey,” he said quietly. “Are you all right?”

  Alicia nodded but the slump of her shoulders belied her exhaustion. I was shocked at her appearance. She seemed to have shrunken into herself, as though ill for a very long time instead of a few days. There wasn’t a trace of the glamorous actress, only a listless invalid, frightened and confused. I laid a sympathetic hand on her shoulder.

  “It’s good to have you home, Alicia. Are you able to walk? Perhaps you’d prefer to use the downstairs guest room until you can manage the stairs?”

  She shook her head. “I want to go to my own room,” she said and turned her eyes up to Colin beseechingly. He understood and nodded.

  “I’ll carry her up. The doctor wants her to stay in bed for a few more days and she’ll be more comfortable in familiar surroundings.”

  He lifted her easily in his arms. With a brief nod in my direction and a spiteful glance at Grant, he mounted the stairs and disappeared. I glared at Grant. He hadn’t moved, watching Colin’s back as he carried Alicia up the stairs, his face tight with irritated frustration.

  “I never realized you could be so callous,” I said, my voice low.

  He dropped his distant gaze to my face as though noticing me for the first time. I could see he was still angry. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Suzanna. But perhaps if you’d quit interfering, we’d straighten some things out around here.”

  “Oh, I see. You expect to straighten things out by browbeating Colin and compromising Alicia’s health, is that it? Well, I’m sorry but you’ll not do it in my house.” His eyebrows rose in surprise and I added vehemently, “Yes, my house. And don’t you forget it!”

  Our eyes locked in a silent battle of wills. I challenged his cold blue gaze with my own belligerent stare. Finally, after a tense moment I thought would never end, he lifted a corner of his mouth in a conciliatory smile and made a sweeping bow.

  “Whatever you say, ma’am!”

  I ignored his sarcasm, plunging on while my anger gave me courage. “I’d like you to explain to me why you didn’t tell me about the election at the stockholders’ meeting.”

  He shifted uncomfortably but met my eyes without flinching. “I did tell you.”

  “You only told me there would be a vote to retain the current officers. You didn’t tell me there’d be an election for a new chairperson.”

  He shrugged. “I assumed you’d realize the position was vacant and would have to be filled. If you’d taken time to read—”

  “You intentionally used my preoccupation with Jenny’s accident to get my vote.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous!” It was his turn to be angry. “What do you take me for anyway? Do you think I care so much about the blasted position? Don’t you think I have enough to do without taking on that responsibility as well? Or maybe you thought you could do a better job?”

  “Maybe I could. At least, it would’ve kept you from getting your money-grubbing hands on Dad’s business!”

  It was anger mixed with grief that brought tears to my eyes, though above and beyond both emotions I felt an overwhelming sense of betrayal. Visions of that evening by the lake in his car and the afternoon laughing over champagne all seemed so farcical now and it hurt.

  Had I begun to trust him? Had I even begun to care for him a little? The very thought brought blood rushing to my cheeks.

  Unexpectedly, he put his hands on my shoulders and shook me gently. “Listen to me, Suzanna.” His voice was low and earnest. “You’re blaming the wrong man. I’m not after your blasted money or Leo’s business. Even if you can’t see how I feel about you, you must know I’d have given my life for Leo. Do you really believe I’d try to swindle him now?”

  I couldn’t look at him. I felt suddenly giddy and the room was stifling. I wished fervently that I could believe him. Some alien animal attraction urged me to give in and lay my head on his chest and let his arms surround me but the temptation of it terrified me. I ripped myself away and fled down the hall to the rear parlor, throwing open the patio doors to burst out onto the decking surrounding the swimming pool.

  I was mortified to find Darla lounging gracefully on one of the deck chairs with David seated next to her, his long legs stretched comfortably in front of him, an amused smile playing on his lips. They were sharing a bottle of wine.

  My hands flew automatically to my face where hot tears still coursed. Without pause, I pushed open the pool gate and, thankful for the blessed darkness that instantly engulfed me, stumbled off down the gravel path that wound through the garden. I didn’t stop running until I reached the bluff overlooking the beach. There I stopped, exhausted, alone and drowning in a flood of shocked enlightenment.

  It was true. I couldn’t deny it. Part of me was in love with Grant Fenton and worse still, I trusted him and I knew it was a terrible mistake. I should have faced it long ago but like all the things that worried me lately, I’d chosen to ignore it. It didn’t happen overnight. It was there years ago, perhaps even before David. I was too young then and mistook love for weakness.

  Even that evening years ago in the gazebo when Grant found me with David and flattened David with one blow, mistaking our innocent wrestling for something more intimate—even then, I loved him for his overdramatized chivalry. But to squelch my confused feelings, I turned more fervently to David and spent the subsequent years avoiding all those impulses that flooded me whenever Grant was near.

  I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to force reality into oblivion but it was no use. I began to descend the wooden steps. It was very dark. The moon hadn’t yet made its appearance and there were no lights to show the way. But the whiteness of the sand below and the roar of the crashing waves guided me and I reached the beach without mishap. Here I paused, letting the steady, unseasonably warm wind dry my tears and cool my cheeks.

  Something about the lake always calmed me. The power that lay dormant, the patient drift and pull that spoke of decades gone by and of those yet to come, made my small existence—my trivial woes and worries—pale to inconsequence. Within a few moments, I felt my tense muscles begin to loosen and the inner turmoil ebb. I began to think more clearly and allowed my rational side to speak. I said nothing to Grant. Thankfully, he didn’t know how I felt. No one knew.

  Grant would merely think I was upset about the stockholders’ meeting. Darla and David? Well, it hardly mattered what Darla thought and David would probably just say I was overstressed. None of them need ever find out what I now knew—that I felt more than sisterly affection for Grant. This was probably what he was aiming for all along. I scoffed inwardly at his feigned sincerity. Oh but he was a good actor! No wonder he was so successful in the courtroom. He was probably taking lessons from Alicia.

  Alicia. I recalled Grant’s ruthless interrogation and accusations she was taking drugs for some time. Well, it didn’t surprise me. Everyone knew she drank too much and alcohol was its own form of addiction. I pitied her. Would she ever recover from her ordeal? How long had Colin known about her problem?

  I began to stroll along the beach. The moon was just beginning to cap the dunes. It was waxing one-quarter and just the tip of it showed above the spectral sands. The rhythmic rumble of the surf soothed me and I removed my shoes so I could feel the chilly wetness beneath my feet. The sand squeaked like buffed glass with each step.

  “Suzanna!”

  I jumped with fright. Giles materialized from the darkness in front of me. He must have been running because he was still dressed in a loose tracksuit, his hair tousled and his face red from exertion. He was frowning and seemed agitated.

  “Thank God! I was just coming over
to Beacon to speak to you.”

  “What is it?” I asked, concerned. “Is something wrong?”

  “I must speak to you,” he said, breathing heavily. “I think you may be in danger.”

  “What?” A shiver ran up my spine. He seemed genuinely upset. “What sort of danger? What do you mean?”

  He gripped my forearm in consternation, his fingers biting into my flesh. “I probably shouldn’t be telling you this. I may be wrong and I don’t want to alarm you unnecessarily but I overheard something that frightened me.”

  I waited expectantly and he opened his mouth to continue but his eyes strayed over my shoulder and he shook his head impatiently.

  “What’s this? A secret liaison? How are you, Giles?”

  I swung around. Grant was striding toward us, his suit pants rolled up to his knees, his shoes and socks held in one hand and his tie loose and flapping in the breeze. I would have laughed if I’d been less annoyed.

  “What do you want?” I demanded.

  “I was worried about you, Suzie. You shouldn’t go running off in the dark. It’s dangerous.”

  “Spare me your concern,” I retorted. “And I’ve asked you not to call me Suzie.”

  Giles shifted uncomfortably and greeted Grant with a stiff nod.

  “It’s a bit late for jogging, don’t you think?” Grant asked.

  Giles smiled nervously. “Perhaps. I try to fit it in when I can.”

  “And I suppose you’ll be up at the crack of dawn for your swim, eh? You fitness buffs are so dedicated.” Grant too, seemed a bit nervous and I eyed him curiously. He was gazing up and down the beach, almost as though expecting someone.

  “The water is so refreshing first thing in the morning,” Giles said. “I’ll have to give it up for the winter soon, though. It’s getting a bit too chilly.”

  Grant nodded absently. “Well, old man, I really must get Suzanna home. I don’t think she’s even had her dinner yet, have you, darling?”

  I tossed his hand off my elbow irritably and turned back to Giles. His eyes communicated a plea. I bit my lip.

  “I’d better go,” I said. What Giles wanted to tell me was for my ears only and I cursed Grant for his inopportune arrival. “How would you feel about some company tomorrow morning?” I suggested. “I run better on an empty stomach. Maybe we could jog a ways together.”

  He smiled tightly. “That would be perfect. What time?”

  “Around seven?”

  He nodded. “See you then.”

  He saluted Grant, and I turned back the way I’d come. Grant watched him disappear but I didn’t pause, striding off in the direction of Beacon so Grant had to run to catch up. He caught my arm and spun me around.

  “What’s the idea of coming down here in the dark? Don’t you know there’s a murderer on the loose?”

  I jerked myself free of his grip. “Leave me alone!” I cried, my rage by now well beyond civility. “Why did you come back anyway? Things were great around here until you showed up! How will the firm survive without you?”

  He fell into step beside me. “Did you ever think that maybe I was concerned for your safety?”

  I snorted. “Don’t try to con me. Do you really think I’m so gullible? My guess is you’re more concerned with Alicia, although you had me fooled, the way you were tormenting her up there. Don’t tell me you’re tired of her already?

  “Oh but that’s right! I almost forgot. It’s the grand Miz Darla LaTrobe now, isn’t it? I have a hard time keeping up. Just don’t pretend you’re worried about me. The only person you’re really interested in is yourself.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  I stopped and faced him, my jaw set, my eyes flashing. “I won’t play your game, Grant.” I spoke with as much control as I could muster. “I know what you’re trying to do and it won’t work. All I’m asking is that you stay away from me. If you can manage that for twelve months, we’ll get along just fine.”

  I didn’t give him time to respond but turned and ran across the beach and up the steps.

  When I reached the top, I stopped in surprise. David was waiting there and for once, his emotions were on open display. Jealousy radiated from every pore of his body, standing there, legs splayed, hands clenched. He could have been a primitive god, ready to call down thunder and lightning from the inky sky. His thick blond hair lifted in the changing wind and his eyes shifted from the beach below to me. The expression in them was one I’d never seen before.

  Without a word, he strode over, pulled me into his arms and kissed me with a ferocity that set my head spinning. His arms crushed me to him. His mouth bruised mine.

  I was stunned and didn’t have time to react before he jerked his head up and stepped back. He was trembling, aghast at his display of emotion. Given time to think, I might have been angry but his horrified look aroused my sympathy. After recovering myself, I took a step toward him to offer what comfort I could.

  “No,” he said hoarsely. “Leave me be! I don’t know what came over me. I guess it was the state you were in when you came running out onto the patio. Then seeing you down there with him…” He lifted his eyes and his expression was pleading, hurt. “Suzanna, you aren’t…you aren’t becoming involved with him, are you?”

  I studied him sadly. It was never my intention to hurt him. In fact, I hadn’t thought of it at all. Now, seeing him like this, afraid and unsure, I wanted to comfort him, to convince him that he was all I’d ever wanted. But I knew it would be a lie. So, ignoring his protests, I went to him, wrapping my arms around his lean waist and laying my cheek against his chest until I felt his tension subside. After a moment, his arms encircled me, tenderly this time and I answered his question calmly, knowing he couldn’t see the lie in my eyes.

  “No, David, I’m not involved with him. In fact, at this moment, I could almost say I despise him.”

  I heard movement behind us and lifted my head. Grant mounted the last step and regarded us coolly from behind veiled lids. I stepped back from David, feeling ridiculously guilty.

  “Oh, please,” Grant said sarcastically. “Don’t stop on my account. You make such a lovely couple! Just try to be a little discreet, will you? I don’t want the two of you splashed on the front of Time magazine. It wouldn’t be good for business.”

  David stiffened and his eyes glittered. “Listen, Fenton,” he said, his voice barely controlled. “A piece of paper doesn’t give you the right to torment Suzanna. If it’s the business you’re worried about, then why don’t you go back to Chicago and tend to it? Suzanna has enough worries without you adding to them.”

  Grant gazed at David humorlessly, then glanced at me. I was frightened. I expected a replay of that long-ago day in the gazebo but this time, I knew it wouldn’t be one-sided. They stood there poised, the tension between them tangible, as though a challenge had been made and accepted and it was merely a question of the time and place.

  Finally, Grant spoke and his voice was cool. “If I’ve upset you, Suzie, I’m sorry.” He lifted unreadable eyes to David and added for my benefit, “But I’d suggest you pick and choose your company very carefully. I don’t think I need to remind you there are plenty of vultures just waiting for the chance to pick at Dirkston bones.”

  He nodded stiffly and with unruffled composure, strode off. We heard the squeak of the gate then silence. I flung myself back into David’s arms and he held me comfortably, his cheek resting warmly on my head. I felt the stiffness gradually drain from my limbs and when we finally pulled apart, we didn’t need to speak. Our eyes met in quiet understanding. His, elated, victorious, protective. Mine, gentle, accepting and determined. Grant meant nothing to me. David was all I needed. That was the way it should be. The way I wanted it.

  * * * * *

  I fell into bed that night exhausted and slept immediately. When I awoke, gray dawn was just filtering through the gauzy curtains. So deeply had I slept, for a moment I was disoriented, thinking I was still back in that quiet, unc
omplicated cabin deep in the woods. I stretched lazily and the events of the previous night came back in snatches. With the bolster of solid rest, they seemed less dramatic.

  I smiled as I thought of David, aware he’d finally declared his love for me as surely as if he’d said the words. I couldn’t expect more from him and I was satisfied knowing it wasn’t in his nature to be demonstrative. This feeling of belonging seemed to mute the intensity of my other troubles. It was as though I was finally able to lower a few of my mounting defenses and let him shoulder some of the burden. I was no longer one against the world and it was an enormous relief.

  Suddenly, I sat up and looked at the clock. Giles! He’d be waiting for me!

  I leapt out of bed and donned a light tracksuit and joggers. Running a brush through my hair, I tied it back in a ponytail, then hurried downstairs and into the crisp morning air.

  Despite the previous day’s warmth, frost had fallen in the early hours and it powdered the manicured lawn and wove patterns on the foliage, sucking out what little life remained. I traversed the short space between pool and garden, my shoes crunching on the delicate white lace, leaving green tracks. I rubbed my hands together to warm them and blew white clouds with each breath. The air tingled with clarity. It was exquisite.

  No one else was about. Even the industrious black squirrels seemed loath to leave their snug hideaways. A huge raven perched atop a distant pine rasping out adamant opinions. From somewhere deep in the woods there was a calmer answering cry. A fat gray rabbit squatted near the modest vegetable garden some distance beyond the hedges. He was eyeing a clump of mottled pumpkin runners and bean bushes that were sagging under the weight of the frost. His nose twitched rapidly.

  His soft coat was plumped against the cold and his ears twisted and turned like antennae. I paused to watch him, enthralled. He crouched and cocked his head as though he sensed disaster. A crack reverberated through the stillness and he leapt into the air, ran a few short paces and fell, twitching, to the ground.

  I was horrified. Instinct gripped me and I dropped to a crouch, peering around, wide-eyed. There was a movement near the woods to the left and I watched, my heart pounding, as a figure unhurriedly stepped around the grave markers and sauntered toward the fallen animal. I knew from his halting gait and faded dungarees it was Rudy. He held a rifle loosely over one arm and didn’t look right or left, plodding on with bovine resolve, skirting the sweep of lawn that cupped the vegetable patch and bordered the shrub-lined paths where I crouched. I rose, aghast at what I’d witnessed and followed a branching track that would take me out onto the open grass.