by R. H. Politz
"Well, yeah, you're beautiful!"
"Would you like to have sex with me?"
That was a frequent question I got from the sorority girls but this time, my answer was totally different. "Look, you are beautiful, and if you had asked me two days ago, I would've jumped at the chance but not today."
"Why not...? I'll turn on the privacy light and we won't be bothered."
"It's not that. It's just..., I'm, uh, look, I'm just not interested in anyone else right now. And I thought you were Kari's friend!"
"How do you feel about her?"
"She's great!"
"No..., I mean how do you feel? You just refused an opportunity that most men, or boys, would jump at so you must feel something!"
"That's a little personal isn't it?" Ginger's face became expressionless as she stared at me, waiting. "How Kari and I feel about each other is...," I couldn't help but smile as I thought about her. "Well, that's between us. Besides, I've only known her since yesterday."
"Did you have sex with her?"
That brazen question shocked me. I stood up and blustered, "Okay, that's enough. I'm not going to sit here while you denigrate the girl I..., I mean, denigrate Kari."
I started toward the door but Ginger said, "Stop, don't leave...! Sorry I started off so fast but she is my friend." It was then I noticed the diplomas hanging on the wall. 'Doctor of Psychiatry', said one and the rest were 'BA's, 'MBA's and 'Board Certified'. I stopped, put a hand on my mouth and turned toward her.
"Oh boy..., was that sneaky! You were testing me weren't you?"
She smiled. "Yes, but I had a good reason."
"What..., did Kari ask you to find out if I was nuts or something?"
"No. Come on Kim, sit down and I'll tell you everything. Okay...? Truce...?"
"Okay, truce," I mumbled and, in a serious voice, Ginger began Kari's story.
"When she was married, she suffered frequent severe beatings and eventually had to have major surgery. After she recovered, she went back to school to finish her graduate degree and dated a few guys but always felt inadequate and stayed pretty much alone. That's when I met her. She came to see me for therapy but, as I got to know her, she became my best friend."
When she said best friend, my eyes widened. "Are you the one that ––"
"Yes, I'm the first woman she ever had sex with."
"Whew! Some therapy...!"
"Not therapy Kim, I dropped her as a patient before that. I felt she needed something I couldn't give as a doctor so I did it as her friend. I know she told you so I'm not giving away any secrets."
Talking to a psychiatrist about Kari was a bit overwhelming so I listened intently to every word.
"I spoke with her on the phone this morning and she told me to tell you about her. She thinks you might hate her because she's not the average typical woman but, I get the idea that you're not the average typical boy either."
"Did she tell you to psychoanalyze me too?"
"No, that was my idea. She just wanted you to know about her so, if you left, she wouldn't have to face the rejection. Sorry, but I had learn a little bit about you first. I still protect her and she is still my best friend."
She went on to tell me how Kari had helped a doctor patent a new cosmetic procedure and used the money from licensing it to start Euphoria. Taking charge of her own life and helping other women became an obsession that occupied her every waking moment and, except for a few meaningless lesbian trysts, she rarely dated and felt empty, alone and unloved.
"I know how that feels. It's horrible!"
"I believe you do know," she said with her serious doctor expression, "and I think you and Kari have a great deal in common. By the way, do you have anyone special in your life?"
"Me...? Ha! After my mother died, my father ignored me. I was never the football star he wanted and I don't think we've spoken ten words in the last ten years."
"Any girlfriends...?"
I smiled. "Right now, one...!"
"What's she like?"
I grinned and said, "You tell me!"
Her serious expression broke into a laugh. "Ah, you got me. Of course, Kari...!"
"So, when's she going to be done?"
"Anxious to get out huh...? Okay, I'll call her."
"No, no, don't disturb her if she's got things to do. I was just wondering."
She took her hand off the phone and smiled. "And you're considerate too!"
"I just..., she's probably busy and I don't want to interrupt her or be a burden."
She put her elbows on the desk, her chin on her hands and said, "Have you ever heard about insecurity and low self esteem?"
"Yeah, I've heard of it but I ––"
Suddenly, her phone rang. "Oh I think so," I heard her say to the caller. "It went well! Sure, that'll be fine." Then she hung up. "Kim, I'd like to talk a little more when we have the chance. Are you up for it?"
"Want to see if I'm crazy huh? Sure but I don't have the money to pay what you must charge."
"Money's not a problem and I'm not the enemy. We'll set it up. Kari will let you know when. Okay?" Then she opened the door.
A few seconds later, Kari came in. "So, how did the tour go?" she asked looking a little nervous. Then she looked at me with an even more nervous expression. "And..., you're still here...."
I remembered what Ginger said about Kari not wanting to face rejection so I grabbed her hands and kissed her. "Yes, I am still here. Can I take you to dinner?"
She glanced at Ginger who held out a 'thumbs-up' gesture and let out a long sigh of relief. "Absolutely, where would you like to go?"
I got up on my tip-toes and whispered, "Anywhere as long as we can be together."
Her face lit up. "Okay but I'm driving this time! Thanks Ginger. I appreciate it."
I shook Ginger’s hand and whispered, "Thanks from me too. I think Kari's got a good friend."
She drove to a very expensive restaurant and I tried to sneak a look in my wallet as we were walking in but she caught me. "Don't worry about the bill. I've got it."
"But ––"
"Don't worry, I've got enough money."
"Oh, yeah, Ginger told me. I guess you've got enough money for anything you want."
"Does that bother you?"
"Not really but I wanted to take you."
"Money isn't everything!"
"No, but it sure helps things a lot."
"Kim, having enough money may make things easier but it doesn't fill the hole in your heart. Besides, it’s no good unless you do something worthwhile with it."
I took a deep breath and grinned. "Okay, I'm completely in your hands."
After a delightful dinner, we went to the hotel where I was playing and later that night, I spent several more hours learning how to please the girl of my dreams. For me, the world had just become a much better place.
* 3 * Madam's Personal Guest
We stayed together as late as I dared Sunday night but I had to get back for finals on Monday. It was hard to say goodbye but we each had our own commitments and I'd be seeing her again the following Friday. As I drove back, I thought about that whirlwind weekend and I was happier than I had ever been. By Thursday afternoon, I finished exam week confident I'd keep my 4.0 grade average and when I left the classroom, two hot looking sorority girls came over to me and said, "We're having a party at the house on Sunday Kim and we'd love it if you'd come."
"Gee, thanks but our last gig is this weekend so I won't be here."
"But you guys don't play on Sunday do you? You'll be back by then and the party doesn't start till five. Come on, we promise you'll have fun!"
"No, really, I can't make it. Sorry."
With pouting expressions, Mary and Liz each ran a finger over my chest and through the buttons of my shirt. "Awwww..., are you sure? It's the last party before everyone goes home for the summer and a lot of the girls want to see you before leaving. I know I do." "Me too," echoed Liz.
That sorority seemed t
o have a penchant for making casual sex a hobby. It was a boy's fantasy if they liked you but I was no longer interested in anyone except Kari. "No, I can't. I really have to work at the ––"
Just then, a group of jocks walked over and one of them pushed me against the wall. "You asshole fag," he screamed in my face, "I hear you fucked Tina. Is it true?"
"I.., I don't know what you're talking about!"
The girls tried to step in but he pushed them away and grabbed my throat.
"Now she's talking about sensitivity and manners. What'd you say to her asshole?"
"Nothing...! I don't know ––"
"You lying son of a bitch, if I ever see or hear that you even talked to her again, I'll rip that pretty faggot face off and stuff it up your ass. Don't you ever go near my property again! Got it...!"
Then he knocked me down with a punch to the side of my face and turned to leave. "Fucking faggot bitch," he muttered. One of his buddies laughed and said, "You should transfer to some other school next year if you want to live bitch!"
The girls knelt down to see how badly I was hurt. "Kim, are you all right," asked Mary running a finger over my swelling cheek.
"Yeah, I'll be okay."
"Now you know why most of us don't date the jocks here," said Liz. "Property he called her, that's how they all think. They're the assholes!"
When I stood up, I felt dizzy for a second. I shook my head and felt my cheek. Liz saw my anger welling up. "Don't even think about getting back at him Kim. He's almost a foot taller and twice your weight and the bastard's not worth it."
"Don't worry Liz, I wouldn't be that stupid. Besides, school's over for this year. Ouch, that hurts!"
"I can nurse you back to health Kim," said Mary. "I'm pre-med, remember?"
I laughed remembering the fun I had had with Mary and Liz but Kari filled my thoughts with something more, something unique and wonderful. "I'll bet you could Mary but I've got a lot to do."
"Well..., okay then. Guess we won't see you till the fall." Then they hugged and kissed me. Suddenly, they looked at each other. "Liz, did you notice what I noticed? Something’s different!"
"Yeah," said Liz. You...? Then they both chimed out, "Kim, have you found someone? You've never kissed us like that before."
My face turned red. "I..., well..., it's ––"
They looked at each other and burst out with, "Kim is in love!" Then they hugged me.
"I'm so happy for you," said Mary.
"Me too," added Liz. "We've always had fun with you but every, well…, almost every girl in the house has worried about you all year! You just never seemed happy."
"This is great!" said Mary squeezing me and then they started with, "Who is she? Do we know her? Is she a student here?"
"Come on..., love...? I just met her last Friday and we spent the weekend together. I don't know if we'll ever have any kind of ––"
And Mary finished my sentence with, "Relationship! Kim's got a relationship. I knew it! Kim, you are in love! Wheeeeee...!"
Then, with a pouting expression, Liz whined. "Your face lights up when you even think about this mystery woman. Guess you aren't going to play with us anymore..., are you?"
"I..., you know..., um, I don't know."
"Yeah, you don't know but we can tell."
All I could do was grin as they hugged and congratulated me. At least some of the girls at school really were my friends.
Later in my apartment, I wandered aimlessly through the two rooms and wished I was doing something, anything, with Kari. Is this just some new sexual experience that I'll get bored with, or is there something more to this feeling that I don't understand? I stared out the window, thinking. Those apes don't treat the girls any better. No wonder there are so many lesbians. They don't have to put up with so much shit. Then, in the bathroom, I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I don't look like those guys at all and I'd never act like them. Jerks! After undressing, I looked at my reflection again, this time, full length and turned back-to looking over my shoulder. I could be a girl..., if I wanted. No, then I'd really have to put up with men's shit. Guess I'd have to be a lesbian. That would be cool!"
As I had done so many times in the past, I mentally slapped myself for thinking that way but this time, the feeling of shame was overshadowed by the thought of Kari. Being with her for only three days had filled me with something I thought didn't exist..., happiness!
During my shower, I looked at the shampoo and soaps I used. They were all women's products. And I liked them! That worried me.
Sooner or later she’s going to figure out just how screwed up I really am and dump me. I rinsed out the shampoo and looked down at my body. I really do look like a girl..., except for that! I held my cock and said, "Did God put you on the wrong person?"
That aching sinking pain in my stomach kept getting worse while I lathered my body. I could imagine Ginger telling Kari how much of a repulsive freak I was. She'll really hate me now and I'll probably never see her again. The shower felt good on my face and I stood there letting it wash away my tears until I got past the horrible emotions of guilt and rejection. "Face it Kim," I said out loud, "except for being a play toy for a few sorority girls on their way to having a real life, you're never going to mean anything to anybody. You're just what those jocks said you were, a fucking faggot freak bitch. Get used to being alone asshole and get on with whatever shit life you have left!"
When I got out of the shower and looked in the mirror, I shook my head and sighed. "I've got to get hold of myself. Music, go to the college and play for awhile. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and get into some sounds! Music doesn't care how wretched a person you are."
Suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell. I wrapped a towel around my still dripping waist and ran to answer it.
"Hi Kim, I couldn't wait till tomorrow night!" My face instantly lit up. It was Kari. "She hugged me and said, "Oops, you're all wet! And you've gotten me all wet!"
"I'm sorry," I said pulling away from her.
"I'm not. Now I'll have to get out of my wet clothes. Um, can I come in? You're towel just fell off. If someone comes by and sees you, I won't want to share you with them."
"Oh, damn!" I blustered as I bent down and grabbed it but Kari just laughed.
"I hope it's okay that I came here today. Did I interrupt anything?"
Tears started to run down my cheeks as I stood there with a towel in my hand looking into those bright blue eyes completely oblivious to the still open door. Suddenly, some kids blew their horn, whistling and yelling as they drove by, but I stood motionless, crying, staring at the person who had won my heart.
"Kimmy, I don't know what's wrong but, don't you think we should close the door?"
"Oh, yeah..., the door..., God I'm so happy to see you Kari!"
"Me too but, what's wrong? You're crying and, oh my God, what happened to your face?"
"Nothing, everything's fine now."
"That bruise looks fresh. Who did this?"
"Just one of the jocks trying to impress his friends, school's over so he'll be gone by Monday. I'll put some ice on it. It'll be fine."
"Then..., can I have a kiss hello?"
"Kari, you can have anything and everything I can give you." Her eyes opened wide when I said that and I immediately freaked. "Oops, sorry, I'm sure you don't want some needy clinging jerk saying something like that. Ah-hmm, so, how did you know where to find me?"
With a sad expression, she put her hands on my face. "Now you're worrying me Kim. I came because I couldn't wait to see you again. Gina told me where you lived and that you didn't have a phone so I just took a chance. Please tell me what's wrong. This is more than just a bruise."
"I'm sorry. I guess you just caught me right after I had time to think about things. Maybe it's just the stress from finishing finals but, I really am happy to see you."
We sat on the couch, me in my towel and she looking like a superstar model while she straightened my damp hai
r with a finger. "What you said Kim, about giving me anything you could, did you mean it?"
Her eyes were yearning for the truth and I couldn't lie. "Yes, I did. I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear but it's the truth. I'd give anything to be with you!"
She kissed my bruised cheek and whispered, "But Kimmy, that's exactly what I want to hear. I was afraid I couldn't compete with those sorority girls, you know, they're still young and I'm not."
"Did Gina tell you about them too?"
"Ha! She didn't have to. Ginger's daughter Liz is one of those girls and I bled her for information. She told me all about how they like to, what did she call it..., play with you?"
"Kari, listen, I don't know what Liz said...," –– I can't believe she told you!" –– "anyway, look. I know the person with the most power in a relationship is the one who cares the least but I don't care. Or, well, yes, I do care! You said you didn't know what I did to you last week but I don't know what you did to me. All I've been able to think about is you and, yes, I would do anything..., anywhere, anytime just to be with you. I..., I think I..., ah-hmm, well, maybe I've said ––"
She interrupted my verbal blubbering with a sudden deep passionate kiss and my towel started to look like a tent. She glanced down and grinned. "I think I can fix that problem if you let me." The next thing I felt was her mouth kissing, licking and devouring my cock and, within a few minutes, I was spent, trembling with electric jolts in every part of my body. Ummmm...," she purred, "you taste as good as I hoped you would."
All I could do was smile and try to catch my breath. I pulled her up, kissed her, held her and basked in the glow of pure happiness.
"Do you have a lease on this apartment," she asked a few minutes later?
"Just for the school year, it's up at the end of this month. Why?"
"And then what, will you be going home?"
"Ha, no..., my father could care less if he ever sees me again and I don't ever want to see that town again. The guys in our band graduate this year so I don't know where I'm going yet."
"I have an idea. You're playing this weekend, right?"
"Yeah, it's our last gig together."
"The work is finally done on my house. Want to see it?"
