by R. H. Politz
The idea of being apart struck us both and we made love for over three hours that night before falling asleep completely exhausted. The next day, I was on the patio writing a song when Alfred came out and asked if I needed anything.
"No thanks, I'm fine."
"Madam mentioned you might be interested in a new car. I'll call the dealership and have one sent out for your approval if you wish."
I stopped writing. "A new car...?" Then, I shook my head and looked up at this very aloof and proper butler. "Why on Earth would Madam want to buy me a new car?"
"In her words Sir, she wants to do everything she can to make you happy!"
I closed my notebook and took a long breath. "Alfred, look, I know I'm still a kid but there's one thing I'm really sure of and that's how happy I am just being with her. She doesn't have to buy me anything. So please tell the dealership I won't be looking at any cars today."
"Yes Sir, very good Sir."
As he turned to leave, I stopped him. "Alfred, after you make that call, could we, um, just you and I, talk..., maybe over a glass of lemonade or soda or something?"
"Of course Sir, perhaps a cup of tea…?"
"Tea, yeah, that would be perfect. Okay."
Ten minutes later he returned with tea and a little bowl of treats. "Your tea Sir," he said placing the tray on the table and standing with his hands behind his back.
"Have a seat and.... Oh, but there's only one cup!"
"It's your tea Sir. A butler should never sit while serving."
"Oh –– Right –– Then I’ll stand up with you!" His eyes widened a bit but his expression never changed. I stood with saucer in one hand, cup in the other and looked out over the grounds. "Charlie does beautiful work," I said nonchalantly. Then I turned toward him. "Tell me about yourself, where are you from?"
"I was born in England Sir."
"And..., so..., is that where you grew up?"
"Yes Sir."
"Well..., what was it like?"
It took a few minutes before he would say more than, "Yes Sir" or "No Sir" but eventually, I learned that Kari was indeed like a daughter to him and what I called his stuffiness, he referred to as living his lifelong dream of being a proper butler for a good family. Of his life before the orphanage, he would only say that it convinced him to move to a peaceful place and live among happy people but I got the idea that it had something to do with war, destruction and death.
"So Alfred," I asked apprehensively, "what's the verdict, am I acceptable for Kari?"
For just a split second, he smiled for the first time since I'd met him. "At the risk of giving away secrets, let me say that you, Sir, seem to be the best thing that's ever happened to her and I am very happy to see it."
With a soft sigh, I turned back toward the garden to hide the emotion welling up in my eyes.
"Sir...?"
"It's the tea Alfred. It's hot."
"Sir, have I said anything that ––"
"No, no, it's just that..., she's just so..., she deserves far better than a freak like me. I can't ever give her what she deserves, and I..., I ––"
"You love her Sir. It's obvious! And she loves you as much. What else is there?"
I wiped my face with my sleeve and put down the teacup. "Her happiness is the only thing that really matters to me Alfred. And I'm afraid!"
"Of what Sir?"
"Ha, can't you guess? Look at me. Listen to me. I'm built more like a girl than a man and I don't even know who I really am! She doesn't need any more problems around her. She's already had too many of her own."
He put his hands on my shoulders and said, "In all my years Sir, I've learned a few things about life. I've known Madam since she was a baby and I believe I am correct when I say that you should tell her how you feel. Tell her, and I think you'll find the inadequacies you worry so much about will fade. I believe she's already aware of the things that haunt you and has accepted them without judgment. She does love you, as you are."
He picked up the tray and started to walk away while saying, "That feeling within you is the most cherished thing in life my young lad and, if it's real, it will never leave you. Don't lose it."
I watched him disappear into the house and sat down to continue writing but somehow, the song had changed. The words were now about triumph instead of defeat and I scribbled away for the next two hours.
My keyboard was still packed away but there was a piano in the music room, –– Of course there would be in a mansion like this one. –– and, on it, I started to build the chords of my new creation. It took about an hour to get the arrangement right and then, I closed my eyes and sang my newest and most emotional song. Just as the last note drifted into silence, I was startled by the clapping of a single pair of hands and behind me, standing in the doorway, was Kari. We ran toward each other and kissed for the longest moment.
"I missed you so much today," we both said at the same time. Then we laughed at the unrehearsed unison and kissed again.
"Whew," she said. I've been running all over town today and I feel yucky. I need a shower."
"I won't let go of you unless you let me wash your back and..., maybe a few other places."
We laughed, ran upstairs, stripped off our clothes and jumped into the shower. Once lathered with the slippery fragrant soap, I massaged her back, then her bottom, her legs, ankles and feet. When I moved around in front, I massaged her calves, moved up to her thighs and started kissing her tummy. She put her hands on my head and gently pushed down so I tickled her clit with my tongue and then sucked it while running my fingers between her cheeks.
We spoke not a word as she started to shiver but, this time, when she began to shake, I slowly stood up touching her ever so gently, ever so softly, until I could wrap my arms around her and kiss her beautiful lips. The warm water rained down on us for more than a minute as we stood trembling, locked in the embrace I loved so much.
She opened her eyes and smiled. "Everything you do is beautiful," she whispered with a slight shiver. "I can still feel it!"
When I kissed her again, she reached down and grabbed my cock but I stopped her. "I want to save that for later."
"You can have both!"
"But, if I wait, I'll be even more anxious and you'll be in control of a begging slave."
"Ha! I'm having a dream," she whispered while hugging me so tight it took away my breath. "And I never want to wake up."
Later, we were eating dinner and trying to keep our hands off each other when she said, "Ginger asked if you could come in tomorrow."
"Oh yeah, she said she wanted to talk to me again. What's it about this time?"
"I think she wants to talk about us or something. I'm not really sure but, she's a great doctor and a good friend. Oh, and..., it's time for me to visit our other spas and I'd like you to go with me. I never asked but, do you have a passport?"
"Yes but, I'm not sure where it is. I got one two years ago in case I had to go to another college but never used it. Why, where are we going?"
"Brazil, France and England."
"Wow! How long will that take?"
"I usually make the trip in a week but I was thinking we should vacation while we're doing it. It'll be fun and, quite frankly, I can use your help with all those computers. Gina said you made the ones for your band work better."
"Computers huh, well, I use them for music and I took several classes but I'd have to find out what software you're using. I'm not a scientist or hacker or anything but, if I can help, I'd love to."
"Great! Tomorrow I'll have someone show you what we're using, you can talk to Ginger, and then we'll have dinner in the city."
The next morning I was looking through their systems and software when a lady said Ginger was waiting for me in her office. "Oh, thanks. Tell her I'll be right there as soon as this report is finished printing."
Five minutes later, I headed down the long hallway nervously wondering what psychological tricks she would play on me this time. "Good morni
ng," I said as I walked in and saw her talking to Kari. "I hope I'm not interrupting."
"Hi Kim," said Ginger, "not at all! Kari and I were just talking about your trip. Come in. Have a seat and we'll get a nurse in here."
"A nurse, what for...?"
"Nothing to be concerned about Kim; I got your medical records from the college and it looks like you'll need a couple of shots before going to South America and Europe."
"Shots...?" I questioned with a white face.
When Kari saw my expression, she put her hands on my cheeks and explained. "They're just standard shots so you can travel without getting sick. Don't worry. They won't hurt and our nurses are really good."
"Well..., you never mentioned shots."
"It's easy...," she whispered, "and you said you'd do anything, remember...?"
I took a deep breath, put the freshly printed report on the table and said, "Okay, shots it is!"
She kissed me and said, "Oh-oh, now you're getting me sidetracked and I have work to do. I'll see you in a little while." And, with another kiss, she left just as the nurse arrived.
"Good morning Ginger and you must be Kim. I'm Alice and I promise to get this done without it hurting, well..., too much anyway," she said with a laugh. "Have a seat over here and we'll get started."
She took my temperature and blood pressure while Ginger distracted me with a few forms. "Sign right here." she said. "It's your permission for us to give you a physical and check things out."
By the time I read and signed the forms, Alice was drawing blood. "See," she said with a grin, "you didn't even notice the little pinch and we're almost done for today." Then she wrapped up her kit, wrote my name on the samples and left.
"We'll have your test results after lunch," said Ginger. "Now, I hope you're comfortable enough to talk for awhile."
"Sure, what would you like to know?"
For the next hour, we talked about everything from my escape into music to my sexual experiences and then she said, "Kim, thank you for being so open and honest."
"So Doc," I asked laughingly. "Am I nuts or just a schizophrenic mess?"
"Neither one Kim but I do want to talk to Kari and you together. Can you both come back about two?"
"Two...? Okay, sure!" And with that, I left to continue my systems analysis.
Kari and I arrived early and Ginger's office was empty so we sat on the couch, held hands and played with soft kisses. "Let's have dinner at home," Kari whispered in my ear. "I don't want to wait too long before ––" Suddenly, Ginger walked in and Kari pulled away with a giggle and, "Oops, caught in the act."
"It's nice to see people who need each other as much as you two" she said sitting down opposite us and opening a notebook, "but, there are a few issues you're going to have to work out if you want this relationship to last."
We looked at each other and said, "Issues…?"
"Ginger looked squarely at me. “Kim, do you feel insecure right now?”
I looked at her, then at Kari and said, “No.”
“And you Kari…?”
“Not at all! Why?”
Ginger explained her observations, the results of my tests and soon had us talking about our past, present and future fears. We talked for over an hour about every conceivable aspect of our lives and finally, she said, “I believe that Kim really wants to be Kimberly! And Kim, you won’t be able to suppress those feelings forever. ”
My face turned bright red and Kari’s eyes opened wide. When I saw her obvious surprise, I sank back into the couch. “I knew this was too good to last,” I mumbled putting my hands over my face to hide my shame. Then I wiped my tears and stood. “I’ll leave now. Don’t worry Kari, I won’t bother you anymore. I’m really sorry.”
But, before I could take a single step, she jumped up, hugged me and, in a weepy sounding whisper said, “Please don’t go Kimmy. I don’t want to lose you, ever!”
“Ooooo,” I said through a choked up throat, “but you heard what the doctor just said. I’m a really screwed up mental case. You deserve better.”
“That’s not what I said Kim,” blustered Ginger. “And there’s no reason for you to leave Kari. It’s obvious to me that you belong together and your actions prove it!” Tears ran down our cheeks and we barely heard Ginger say, “I think I'd better give you two some time alone.” She turned on the privacy light and walked out closing the door behind her.
“Is she right, do you really want to be a girl?”
“I’ve always wanted to be as beautiful as you Kari but when I fell in love with…, oh damn it.” Her face lit up when I said those words. “I shouldn’t have told you!”
“Are you really in love with me Kimmy?”
“Yes, and it was impossible for me not to tell you!”
“Why wouldn’t you tell me?”
“Because you deserve a man who knows who he is and can ––”
“Shush, I think I deserve someone who returns my love and I’ve loved you ever since the first time I saw you. I deserve you!”
“Oh, you mean the sex was good huh?”
“No, well yes, it was impossibly wonderful but, no. The first time I saw you, I had to come back. And the second time, I watched you all night but I didn’t know if the attraction was real or just a silly girl’s wishful thinking but I had to find out, and after that first night, I was sure I wanted more.”
“And what about my, um, problem?”
“We’ll solve it together. I’m not completely uneducated about transgendered people you know. That’s one of Euphoria’s specialties and I’m completely in love with you. Will you stay with me…, please? Please say yes.”
“Oh my God..., I can’t believe it. You are my fantasy come true and I love you more than I know how to say. Yes, I’ll stay, yes, yes, yes!”
It was another half-hour before we turned off the privacy light, straightened our clothes and walked out the door and, although Ginger had said nothing to anyone, the girls in the office saw the glow on our faces and Kari's cute blond boyfriend became the talk of the entire spa.
* 6 * Wax and Hormones
Before going to sleep that night, Kari rolled up on her elbow, ran a finger over my chest and said, “I think you should have a complete treatment in the spa tomorrow. Would you like that?”
“What's a complete treatment?”
“Well, we'll start with a massage, then a facial, a manicure, pedicure and maybe just a bit of a new hairstyle. You’ll love it!”
“Sounds um…, interesting, but why?”
“Because I want you to be happy and maybe we can help with your problem.”
“Oh, yeah, my problem…, if only I could be your lesbian lover I wouldn't have a problem!”
“You can be if you want to.”
I just looked at her for a second. “But I’m a..., I’ve got a cock, and no breasts. I’m a boy!”
“We can fix that, well, except that I’d prefer you kept your deliciously big, um…, clit. I love playing with it and sucking on it.”
“But that would make me a what, a ––”
“A she-male…? Don’t let that word scare you. Besides, just think of how many kinky things we could do and sometimes, I like to be the boy.”
Those were the exact words I had heard in my head at the hotel that day. My mouth and eyes were wide open but I was completely at a loss.
“Have you ever thought about that?”
With a huge sigh, I flopped down on the bed. “Well…, it seems that all my secrets are out. Whew!” Her sweet smiling face encouraged me to confess everything so I gulped down my fears and continued. “Yeah, the truth is..., I’ve always wanted to be a girl but never thought about changing my genitals. The thought of having sex with a man makes me sick.”
“Ha! I know that feeling…, which is why I was so confused when I saw this beautiful boy on a stage and wanted to wrap myself around him.”
“Really…?”
“Really, and when I got to know him, it became more th
an that and I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I want to be with him, or her, forever!”
“But, if we do this, what about, I mean, if I change, you might not like me anymore. I don’t want to lose you because I’m some kind of he-she freak.”
Kimmy, I love you. It’s more than sex…, although I really love that too. Ha, boy, do I! Anyway, you’ve become someone who's..., well…, I really need you and the only thing I’m afraid of is that I’ll lose you to someone else.”
“That'll never happen..., never! But..., tell me how this kind of thing works.”
“It’s a process but we’ve helped quite a few men become women at Euphoria and we have the best doctors and treatments in the world. I’ve seen it happen to others and now I can give you the best birthday present of all. I want whatever you want as long as we do it together.”
"Are you sure that something like this won't drive us apart?"
"No one can predict the future but, based on what Ginger said, you'll probably never be happy until you do something about those feelings and if you're unhappy with yourself, you'll probably become unhappy with me and I couldn't stand that!"
"Well..., I don't know. How would you feel if I wore makeup?"
"We're the same skin tone so I could borrow it. Or you could borrow mine."
"And if I wore panties and stockings?"
"We could get matching g-strings."
"Ha! What if I had breasts?"
"I'd caress them and suck your nipples all night while I played with your delicious clit."
"Oooooo, now there's a fantasy I've had a lot. So..., you think I should really do this?"
"Absolutely and tomorrow, I'm going to buy you a whole new wardrobe. Deal...?"
"Wow, you do have a way of making me do anything you want. Deal...!"
"Great! Let's get some sleep. You're going to have a busy day tomorrow."
I ran my finger over her breast and playfully said, "Could we just ––"
She let out a giggle and pushed me away. "No more Kimmy. I've had three wonderful orgasms and I know you've had at least one and we have to get some sleep."
I sighed and frowned.
"Now don't pout. You'll make me change my mind and besides, you made me wait in the shower remember? So, now it's my turn. I'm in control and you have to do what I say."
